"Can I afford it" - surgical procedure

moneymaker

Recycles dryer sheets
Joined
Mar 13, 2013
Messages
106
Hi all,
I just wanted to get some opinions here and see if anyone else has paid a nice chunk of money toward procedures or cosmetic/health related surgeries. The wife wants to get a surgical procedure done now that we are done with having kids and I am having a hard time coming to terms with the costs of this. We do live below our means and we both want to FIRE by late 40s. She really wants it(I think it's more of a self confidence thing). Of course, she works and makes around $85k/yr, so she says it's her money she would use.
Procedure costs $13,500.
Our investments total around $275k and we own two homes with approx. $90k equity between the two. Also I will get a military pension worth approx $48k/yr in 10 yrs. we are both 34 yrs old.

Whats your opinion on our financial situation and "can we afford it."
Thanks
 
That's easy.
It will be paid for with her money.
It will make her happy.
End of discussion.
 
I agree.

The better question is why are you asking us?
 
You did not say what the surgery was, but if it makes you feel better too, go with it.

And when it doubt, go larger. They are worth every penny. $13.5K is too much, shop around.
 
Ahh ok. Part of me asking is is this a fair price. It sounds high to me.

Also I would rather her not get it. Not only because the price but I love her how she is and I just don't think her stomach is bad.
Surgery- tummy tuck with liposuction and fixing a protruding hernia. That's it.

I think she needs to shop around more. She thinks that the most expensive plastic surgeon has to be the best. She was thinking this type of surgery would be between $5-7k
Help me out here!
Thank you!
 
First she should get a couple of opinions regarding the procedure and price.
Then, yes I say support her in doing this. Yes I get you love her as she is but she would not be considering this if what she is having corrected did not bother her.
Regardless of what people say about accepting ourselves as we are, the reality is she feels that this is something she wants done and probably will continue to want it done until it's done.
So, path of least resistance for you.


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$13.5K is cheap. Divorces start at 50% of assets.
 
$13.5K is cheap. Divorces start at 50% of assets.

What he said. And 50% is if you're lucky.

Seriously, I think there's little doubt that as a couple you can afford it, and that if it wasn't important to her she wouldn't be willing to risk going into surgery and enduring the pain this is going to involve. That one part is important to understand - this is REALLY important to her! Being an obstacle is going to cost a bunch in long term resentment that may never be completely overcome.

Both of you have been LBYM for a long time but once in a while everyone wants to splurge a bit just for no better reason than "I wanna..." and this sounds like one of those times. Especially when it comes to something like intimate plastic surgery connected to self-image, self-confidence, and all that stuff. Tread carefully if your response is anything other than an enthusiastic "Yes Dear!"
 
Yes. You can afford it. At your age, my DW and I had very little asset. She wanted to spend $4000 to have braces. We agonized it but decided she deserves them.

Today, she has a beautiful smile and that $4000 did not impact our retirement plan at all.
 
My girlfriend got a chin implant or whatever they call it. She had a small chin and she said it's bothered her for years. I couldn't see the difference before or after but she did. Her husband thought she had more confidence after the surgery. If you can afford it, get the surgery.
 
.... Also I would rather her not get it. Not only because the price but I love her how she is and I just don't think her stomach is bad.
Surgery- tummy tuck with liposuction and fixing a protruding hernia. That's it.

It's great that you love her how she is, but maybe she doesn't love her how she is. You may not think her stomach looks bad, but, I'm not sure you get a vote here. Maybe an opinion, but that's about it. It's kind of like Puerto Rico and the Electoral College (or maybe not).

Anyhow, be careful with tummy tucks and liposuction. They may be common procedures, (at least they are in Southern California) but from what I understand they can be tricky. Make sure you get a good doc who has successfully done a bunch of these.
 
Also I would rather her not get it. Not only because the price but I love her how she is and I just don't think her stomach is bad.
Surgery- tummy tuck with liposuction and fixing a protruding hernia. That's it.

I agree it is her opinion that matters here.

I personally lost about 65 pounds over the past few years and I am currently scheduled to have some surgery as a result. One of the procedures I will be having is a tummy tuck, so I have researched costs quite a bit.

A good site for plastic surgery information is Realself

I got a ton of information from there that was really helpful.

AS for cost -

$13,500 for a tummy tuck with liposuction and hernia repair

Where I am that would be a little high for tummy tuck plus liposuction of the flanks if that was all that was being done. Now, if more extensive liposuction is involved (such as of the back or the thighs, then it wouldn't be. Also, there is the cost of the hernia repair. you should check to see if the hernia repair might be covered by insurance. Sometimes that can cut costs. Given the hernia repair the cost is probably not unreasonable. In any event, it is generally better to go to more than one surgeon for consultations.

That said -- cost is certainly a factor, but finding an excellent surgeon who is experienced and board certified by the American Board of Plastic Surgery is really important. Note that there are some doctors who call themselves cosmetic surgeons and they are not actually certified by the American Board of Plastic Surgery. It is important to really carefully research the surgeon.

For example, for one of my two sets of procedures I am having down I am paying about $3000 more with the surgeon I selected than I would with another surgeon. But, I felt the one I selected was the best for what I wanted. Note that often a substantial part of the costs are not the surgeon's fee. There is also the cost for the surgical hospital or facility, the cost of anesthesia and the cost of recovery if staying overnight after the procedure. The primary difference in cost between the two surgeons was not the cost of the surgeon's fee. It was the difference in hospital charges between the two different hospital that they used.
 
My only concern is the obvious ....will there be more?


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THIS is an opportunity for you to step up ...
"No honey, if you really want this then I want to pay for every dime of it, I cannot think of anything more important I'd want my money going towards but your happiness!"
 
Was listening to a plastic surgeon being interviewed and he was talking about a newer non-invasive procedure where they wrap something around you that freezes your fat cells which causes the fat cells to die and pass through your body. He claims it results in a 25% reduction in fat cells. Not sure how effective it is and he didn't mention the cost for the procedure but it sounds better then going under a knife.
 
DW had her eyes done (and her lids were drooping, as are mine now) and it made a world of difference and she's very happy with it, which makes me happy.
She was always reluctant to have surgery, but this is pretty minor.

Having made a relationship with a plastic surgeon, she got the ads about the "Coolsculpting" which is sort of topical freezing of skin in place of liposuction. I didn't think she needed it but she wanted to try it. A total waste of money, no effects either of us can tell. Of course, for more money they can do more of it for better results! I'd only advise that if you have "throwaway money" for it.

We both do about 4-5 days a week at gym or other exercise and that's all we need.
 
That is good to hear. Mr. A. has developed some excess eyelid skin that his eye Dr. thinks is interfering with his vision. She thinks he can get it fixed on insurance, since it's medically necessary, but he's reluctant to get the surgery because it's Plastic Surgery.

This is the same man who thought nothing of having a surgeon make a one-inch hole in his forehead to remove a skin cancer. Somehow, that was different :facepalm:

DW had her eyes done (and her lids were drooping, as are mine now) ....
She was always reluctant to have surgery, but this is pretty minor.
 
I think eye lid surgeries can change the whole face, sometimes for the better, but sometimes for the worse, from what I can tell from seeing photos of celebrities...(Kenny R and Renee Z, although Renee looks normal again..)
 
My late father had the eyelid surgery and it was considered medical. Helped him a lot.
 
Was listening to a plastic surgeon being interviewed and he was talking about a newer non-invasive procedure where they wrap something around you that freezes your fat cells which causes the fat cells to die and pass through your body. He claims it results in a 25% reduction in fat cells. Not sure how effective it is and he didn't mention the cost for the procedure but it sounds better then going under a knife.

It is better than surgery if it does what you want. But, that is entirely effective for someone who actually needs a tummy tuck instead. What most people don't understand is that a tummy tuck has very little to do with reducing fat. A tummy tuck is not a weight or fat loss method. The main things that that a Tummy Tuck does is (1) remove loose skin and (2) repair the underlying abdominal muscle. Each of these have to be considered. For most women, it is the loose skin and muscle repair that is important.

I have personally lost 65 pounds and am at a normal BMI. I have consulted with two plastic surgeons who both agree that what I have is primarily loose skin, not excess fat. I have a little excess fat in my abdominal area but not much. So, the kind of procedure you are talking about wouldn't do much for me.

So, there are 3 parts to this:

Fat Removal - This is what you are talking about. This is also what liposuction does.

The procedure you are talking about can make things worse for someone with loose skin. Procedures that remove fat only (such as liposuction) can be OK for someone who has a relatively small amount of fat they want to remove in an area and who have skin with good elasticity. And, if this is not someone who needs muscle repair.

Loose Skin - With pregnancy or excess weight the skin often stretches out. In some cases, with weight loss it springs back into place. My husband lost about 85 pounds and his skin did that. I lost 65 pounds and mine didn't. Pregnancy can also stretch out skin. Think of an elastic band that has been stretched so much that it loses its elasticity. Skin is the same way. Sometimes, it simply loses its ability to go back into place. Nothing will make my skin go back into place. The only way to get rid of it is through surgery. If anyone really wants to see what this looks like, send me a PM and I will send you a link to the pictures I have on my blog. You might think if you saw it that this was fat. But, in reality, it is mostly loose skin. In a tummy tuck that loose skin is cut away.

Muscle Repair - This is really, really important. Most women who need loose skin removed also need muscle repair. This is mostly due to pregnancy but can be due to excess weight. During pregnancy or times of heavy weight, your rectus abdominis muscle can stretch apart. Some people call this muscle separation. They don't actually separate but they stretch apart. This is called a diastasis recti. When you have this you tend to have a protruding abdomen because the abdominal muscles on one side are relatively far apart from the abdominal muscles on the other side.

This is another thing that often simply does not improve after pregnancy is over or after weight loss. Sometimes it does and that is fine. But, for many people it simply doesn't. No amount of diet or exercise helps in some instances (I work with a trainer twice a week and do other exercise...none of that has helped this problem). In a proper abdominoplasty (tummy tuck) the surgeon will actually stitch together the two sides of the abdominal muscles to bring them together as they were originally. I mention this because sometimes people are unhappy with their tummy tuck and find out later that the surgeon did not do muscle repair and only removed skin. The muscle repair is really important to do for lasting results if you have diastasis recti.

So -- things like Liposuction or Coolsculpting or other non-invasive methods may be perfectly fine for someone who has a little fat to remove. They do nothing whatsoever to help someone who has lots of loose skin or who has muscle laxity. And....that is why one of the procedures I will be having is a tummy tuck.

(I am not a doctor...just talking about what I have learned from my research for a tummy tuck and other surgery).
 
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