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Old 05-04-2013, 06:20 PM   #21
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It's unfortunate that your wife wasn't emotionally supported by your health care providers as she dealt with breast cancer. I also was treated for breast cancer last year and received a great deal of support from the hospital staff and clinicians.

Her world is not what she expected it to be, it is spinning. First she was diagnosed with cancer and now you need heart surgery. Talk to a physician you trust to see if you can find someone to hold her hand through this.
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Old 05-04-2013, 07:02 PM   #22
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My mom had valve replacement surgery about 11 years ago -- it went great and she is still doing fine. She was only in the hospital about 3 days post surgery, and her recovery went really fast.

Good luck making your decision and hope all goes well.
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Old 05-04-2013, 10:14 PM   #23
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Originally Posted by Turn_the_Page View Post
Even if I drop to 1/2 pay on LTD, it's better than zero.
Keep in mind if you are paying the premiums on that policy, even if through payroll reduction (with after-tax dollars), the benefit is free of income tax. Thus 1/2 pay would be closer to 70+% depending on your bracket.
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Old 05-04-2013, 10:18 PM   #24
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Re - DW and waiting. We just don't fit in - frankly - in our community. Having the surgery in KC is good, as we have friends and family there. Once we're home, it's just the two of us. And that's OK until I (and if I) go back to work.

I don't think we'll just retire into a group of friends, unless it's in KC. She's not hard and fast against it. I think it's likely more of a desire to put it off. She just recovered emotionally in the last year from a breast cancer bout in 2008. It's been nice to have my wife back. She has a lot of baggage left from the way she was treated during her ordeal, which she'll struggle with.

I really agree - do it now, keep working, take STD/LTD/FMLA or whatever. Even if I drop to 1/2 pay on LTD, it's better than zero. Then revisit, work a bit or pull the plug. I don't want to rush into an emotional relocation/retirement decision that we end up regretting. The other kicker is that houses in our town typically are on the market 9-10 months before they sell. I told her the other night - what happens if we decide to move first and then we sit here for a year until it sells? In the meantime, I've gotten a lot worse.

The prognosis after surgery is practically indistinguishable from a 'normal' person. You have to get through the surgery and the week or so after that. Then I should be good for a long time.

Thanks for all the comments.

+1
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Old 05-04-2013, 10:31 PM   #25
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I agree with everyone else. Don't wait to have the surgery.
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Old 05-05-2013, 08:07 AM   #26
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Having lived through what you are experiencing, it is understandable that this weighs heavily on you and your spouse. I had the same issue 8 years ago. The 2nd opinion is a solid suggestion, but I agree with many that responded and do not delay the procedure. Stay positive!
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Old 05-05-2013, 12:32 PM   #27
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My DW had the same thing and had the valve replacement surgery last year (a little more than a year now she was 46 at the time). As you noted the first week of recovery is rough, Now 1 year later she is back to full activity riding her bicycle 50 miles every three days. She followed her doctor's instructions carefully for exercise and has done fine. The only annoying factor has been the requirement of taking blood thinners for the rest of your life. Best of luck to you it is a serious procedure but is done very often.
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Old 05-08-2013, 04:44 PM   #28
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Thanks for all the comments. After a second opinion and another echo yesterday, waiting clearly isn't an option at this point. It's for the best, we just need to soldier on and get it taken care of.
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Old 05-09-2013, 06:17 AM   #29
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Just finished reading the thread and noted pretty good comments from others. I just wanted to wish you the best as you and your wife go through this difficult period.
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Old 05-09-2013, 07:00 AM   #30
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Best of luck to you. Putting off the procedure doesn't sound logical.


I have a history of heart disease in my family (grandfather died of a heat attack at 50). Should I be tested for heart disease? I am in good shape-- run 9-12 miles a week, eat well, 48 years old.
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Old 05-09-2013, 07:57 AM   #31
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Just finished reading the thread and noted pretty good comments from others. I just wanted to wish you the best as you and your wife go through this difficult period.
+1. Given the progression of stenosis and the risk of sudden death, I think you are definitely making the right decision.
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Old 05-09-2013, 10:17 AM   #32
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I have gone through the process of selecting a surgeon and hospital in recent weeks. Find the best, one who you believe will give you the best outcome.

You should also take a look at each hospitals' acquired infection rate as a part of your selection process.
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