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Old 12-10-2011, 02:29 PM   #1
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Dbym ?

Being what I think a logical person I detest the thought of my passing costing $5-10K, to rack, pack and send off to the great unknown. I have actually been looking into donating my body for tissue study and whatever else the medical community wants to use my remains for. This can all be done and at no cost and they will even send what is left of the remains in cremated form back to family within about six weeks.

Would this be the ultimate in DBYM ?

Seriously though has anyone here ever considered going this very cost effective route ?

No viewing, no conventional funeral or burial, just call a number and they come take your body away.
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Old 12-10-2011, 02:42 PM   #2
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No viewing, no conventional funeral or burial, just call a number and they come take your body away.
I think that's great - provided your family is OK with it.
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Old 12-10-2011, 02:43 PM   #3
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I didn't think about donating my body to the medical community, but otherwise I agree. I don't want a viewing (really don't see the point), no conventional funeral either. I just want to be cremated and my ashes dispersed with as little ceremony as possible.

My family hates the plan though. It sounds like funerals are more for the sake of the living than the dead.
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Old 12-10-2011, 02:45 PM   #4
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My dad did that when he passed away. He had made the arrangements about a year or so before he passed. He had T-cell lymphoma so he knew the end was coming. We had a beautiful memorial service about 2 weeks after his death. His remains were returned to us exactly one year later (to the very date of his death). My mom plans to do the same and already has completed the paperwork. It was a little strange for that year wondering where Daddy was. Now his remains are in a beautiful engraved box on Mom's fireplace mantel. I'm not sure what we will do with them after Mom passes. My siblings and I have never discussed it.
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Old 12-10-2011, 02:46 PM   #5
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... funerals are more for the sake of the living than the dead.
Yep. You can state your wishes of how your remains will be disposed of, but you'll have little means to enforce them...
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Old 12-10-2011, 02:52 PM   #6
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Most of the wakes and funerals we've been to in the past few years have not had bodies--either there were ashes in a nice box, or the services were "memorial" services and the remains were already in the ground, or in at least one case at the university's science department the dearly departed had asked to be sent to.

So your family can go the memorial route and not worry about you being there .
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Old 12-10-2011, 03:09 PM   #7
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I have actually been looking into donating my body for tissue study and whatever else the medical community wants to use my remains for. This can all be done and at no cost and they will even send what is left of the remains in cremated form back to family within about six weeks.

Would this be the ultimate in DBYM ?

Seriously though has anyone here ever considered going this very cost effective route ?

No viewing, no conventional funeral or burial, just call a number and they come take your body away.
We have already made the arrangements for this. We carry the cards with us that have the number to call. We made these wishes known in our recently updated wills, plus the details of the organization that we've signed up with.

Our 2 children also know of our wishes and have copies of the cards with the contact number to call when we pass.
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Old 12-10-2011, 03:12 PM   #8
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I didn't think about donating my body to the medical community, but otherwise I agree. I don't want a viewing (really don't see the point), no conventional funeral either. I just want to be cremated and my ashes dispersed with as little ceremony as possible.
+1
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Old 12-10-2011, 03:16 PM   #9
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I don't have any close relatives to worry about, so I reserve the right to do what I want with the old body. I want to be cremated and my ashes to be scattered from a helicopter over one of my favourite childhood places (we used to picnic and play there before it was a golf course)....



http://www.youtube.com/watch?NR=1&fe...&v=xWyM9gGiVW8

And damn the cost....I'll be dead, so I'll splurge if I want to!!!
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Old 12-10-2011, 03:17 PM   #10
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I am donated to the local medical college. Mother was donated to a local medical college.
Medical colleges need bodies, college anthropology departments need bodies, body farms need bodies.
Body farm - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
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Old 12-10-2011, 03:48 PM   #11
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I think it's commendable a person would choose a research facility upon their death...

However, if DH died before me, I think it would be too difficult to say goodbye when he died, then weeks or months later receive his remains and say goodbye again.

Both of us want cremation and our ashes scattered.
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Old 12-10-2011, 03:50 PM   #12
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It sounds like funerals are more for the sake of the living than the dead.
There's no doubt about it. Frankly, once I'm suitable for worm food I will be beyond the point of caring.
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Old 12-10-2011, 08:50 PM   #13
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It sounds like funerals are more for the sake of the living than the dead.
I agree with this thought.
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Old 12-10-2011, 09:05 PM   #14
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......It sounds like funerals are more for the sake of the living than the dead.
That is true, but I wouldn't trivialize it. IMO funerals are a way for families and loved ones to say goodbye and gain closure and step forward in the grieving process. Ditto for fellowship gatherings after a funeral. It is all part of the process of saying goodbye and letting go. I wouldn't deny them this important step.
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Old 12-10-2011, 09:12 PM   #15
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I don't have any close relatives to worry about, so I reserve the right to do what I want with the old body. I want to be cremated and my ashes to be scattered from a helicopter over one of my favourite childhood places (we used to picnic and play there before it was a golf course)....


And damn the cost....I'll be dead, so I'll splurge if I want to!!!

One of my friends took her husband's ashes to Ireland and they went from pub to pub scattering his ashes and having a drink in his honor . I want to be on a beach . A very nice beach !
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Old 12-10-2011, 09:17 PM   #16
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Seriously though has anyone here ever considered going this very cost effective route ?
I have considered it, but have done nothing about it yet (although my family knows there is to be no funeral / ashes etc).
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Old 12-10-2011, 09:48 PM   #17
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That is true, but I wouldn't trivialize it. IMO funerals are a way for families and loved ones to say goodbye and gain closure and step forward in the grieving process. Ditto for fellowship gatherings after a funeral. It is all part of the process of saying goodbye and letting go. I wouldn't deny them this important step.
I agree. I just don't think the presence of a body is necessary for a memorial service and a wake afterwards, although I respect the views of those who prefer a funeral service.
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Old 12-10-2011, 10:00 PM   #18
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That is true, but I wouldn't trivialize it. IMO funerals are a way for families and loved ones to say goodbye and gain closure and step forward in the grieving process. Ditto for fellowship gatherings after a funeral. It is all part of the process of saying goodbye and letting go. I wouldn't deny them this important step.
+4. Several close friends of mine have lost their mother's recently. Everyone one of them told me that until mother was buried they felt confused and that their grieving was somehow put on hold.

After my Dad died I went to the viewing, then the funeral mass, then a large gathering at my brother's place. I drank about 4 good stiff bourbons, talked to a lot of people, cried, and felt much better afterward.

Of course funerals are for the living; the other guy is dead, and if he is tuning in he will be above these concerns anyway. But we living humans need it.

To a large extent I have lived for my family; I will definitely want to have the same consideration for them when I die.

Ha
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Old 12-10-2011, 10:24 PM   #19
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To a large extent I have lived for my family; I will definitely want to have the same consideration for them when I die.
Well said!
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Old 12-11-2011, 12:13 AM   #20
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I've been thinking about a Viking funeral... but there are some problems - it's hard to find a wooden rowboat anymore, and the EPA permitting process will drag on way too long...
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