Join Early Retirement Today
Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
Old 06-03-2011, 06:26 AM   #41
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
Dawg52's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Central MS/Orange Beach, AL
Posts: 7,432
Quote:
Originally Posted by Moemg View Post
You really are a great son ! Your Mom is so lucky !
Quote:
Originally Posted by bbbamI View Post
Yes...indeed.
Aw thanks, but I'm not doing anything most here wouldn't do. ER gives me the luxury to have the time to do it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brat View Post
It isn't really how much she eats but whether or not what she eats brings joy.
It certainly doesn't bring joy at the moment she eats. But for the most part, I think she still wants to live and enjoy her family and friends. My nephew's wife has a baby due next month and I know she wants to see him. And she is recovering from her injuries and not hurting much anymore. So her will to live is better(not perfect) than in the early stages of her recovery.
__________________

__________________
Retired 3/31/2007@52
Full time wuss.......
Dawg52 is offline   Reply With Quote
Join the #1 Early Retirement and Financial Independence Forum Today - It's Totally Free!

Are you planning to be financially independent as early as possible so you can live life on your own terms? Discuss successful investing strategies, asset allocation models, tax strategies and other related topics in our online forum community. Our members range from young folks just starting their journey to financial independence, military retirees and even multimillionaires. No matter where you fit in you'll find that Early-Retirement.org is a great community to join. Best of all it's totally FREE!

You are currently viewing our boards as a guest so you have limited access to our community. Please take the time to register and you will gain a lot of great new features including; the ability to participate in discussions, network with our members, see fewer ads, upload photographs, create a retirement blog, send private messages and so much, much more!

Old 06-03-2011, 10:34 AM   #42
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
haha's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Hooverville
Posts: 22,380
This is all great news Dawg, and I want to agree with all those who say what an excellent son you are. And while your modesty is becoming, I think that you are doing much, much more than some would or could. It takes the commitment, and the emotional strength to hang in there with her.
When my Mother was clearly dying, neither of my two brothers could spare time off from going to the racetrack and/or drinking to be with her.

I feel strongly that with you in her corner, she is very likely to recover.

Ha
__________________

__________________
"As a general rule, the more dangerous or inappropriate a conversation, the more interesting it is."-Scott Adams
haha is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 06-03-2011, 11:25 AM   #43
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
bbbamI's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Dallas 'burb
Posts: 9,039
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dawg52 View Post
Aw thanks, but I'm not doing anything most here wouldn't do. ER gives me the luxury to have the time to do it.
Not only do you love her, participate in her well-being...you are her advocate.

The staff at the nursing home where my momma resides continually tells daddy how much they appreciate him coming to see her. He spends time with her, feeds her lunch and supper. He's also on top of her condition, her comfort and what she needs.

The staff tells him most people just drop their relatives off at the nursing home and never come back.

When I'm there, I try to speak to some of the patients asking how they are. Unfortunately, there are so many of them...I don't have the time to give them proper attention. It just beaks my heart.

Yeah...you're a great son and your mother is very fortunate.
__________________
There's no need to complicate, our time is short..
bbbamI is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-03-2011, 01:50 PM   #44
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
Dawg52's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Central MS/Orange Beach, AL
Posts: 7,432
Yes, I have been told many of the patient's relatives rarely stop by. That is sad.

BTW, I should have said she doesn't hurt while sitting up or resting in bed anymore. She rarely request pain med's now. But she does hurt while going through therapy. Which is to be expected. A long way to go in over coming those pains.
__________________
Retired 3/31/2007@52
Full time wuss.......
Dawg52 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-03-2011, 06:44 PM   #45
Moderator Emeritus
Nords's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Oahu
Posts: 26,616
Quote:
Originally Posted by bbbamI View Post
The staff tells him most people just drop their relatives off at the nursing home and never come back.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dawg52 View Post
Yes, I have been told many of the patient's relatives rarely stop by. That is sad.
I remember way back when Dear Abby & Ann Landers used to print letters containing impassioned pleas by care workers for the adult children to visit their parents/relatives in the care homes.

Then a significant minority of the adult children would write impassioned responses detailing what sort of parents/relatives they'd had to put up with over the years, and how they'd been raised & treated by said "loving" family.

I think if someone in a care facility gets a visit, it's because they've earned it. I think if someone in a care facility doesn't get a visit, it's because of karmic payback.

As an adult, I've come to eventually understand that my father did the best job of raising me that he could. However he chose not to be involved after his parenting obligation ended, and he also chose not to be involved with any of his family. Admittedly he's had some tough times over the 15 years of caring for his own father, but over the last three decades when he said things like "I don't care to travel" he also left out invitations to come visit him. He isolated himself. When family tried to draw him out, he resented the "intrusions".

Now that he no longer recognizes me, when we've conversed he says many things about me in the third person. I'm amazed to hear all his pride in my accomplishments over the years, because it's the first time I've ever heard most of it.

So I completely understand why some children aren't interested in visiting their parents in the care facility. Taking care of my Dad's finances from four time zones away is right up my alley, and it's about as much as I can bring myself to do.
__________________
*
*

The book written on E-R.org, "The Military Guide to Financial Independence and Retirement", on sale now! For more info see "About Me" in my profile.
I don't spend much time here anymore, so please send me a PM. Thanks.
Nords is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-03-2011, 07:24 PM   #46
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
Moemg's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Sarasota,fl.
Posts: 10,030
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dawg52 View Post

BTW, I should have said she doesn't hurt while sitting up or resting in bed anymore. She rarely request pain med's now. But she does hurt while going through therapy. Which is to be expected. A long way to go in over coming those pains.
Have her take some pain medication before therapy that way it will be working when the pain starts or if she doesn't want pain meds Extra Strength Tylenol or a few Advil may do it . Unless you want to give her some of your meds ?
__________________
Moemg is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-03-2011, 08:20 PM   #47
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
Purron's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 5,584
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nords View Post
So I completely understand why some children aren't interested in visiting their parents in the care facility.
I hear you Nords. I understand too, but think there are many people who don't get family attention even though they deserve better. My husband's mom spent many years in a nursing home before her death and we saw lots of elderly folks who rarely or never got visitors.

Some may have been undeserving, but I'm pretty sure many others were good folks whose family were just too busy to bother. Another reason early retirement is a good thing. Time to spend on what's really important.

I'm still haunted by many of the faces I saw in my mother in law's nursing home.
__________________
I purr therefore I am.
Purron is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-03-2011, 08:43 PM   #48
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
bbbamI's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Dallas 'burb
Posts: 9,039
Quote:
Originally Posted by Purron View Post
I'm still haunted by many of the faces I saw in my mother in law's nursing home.
Yes..I feel haunted as well. I will see those faces again soon.

There are many reasons people do the things they do. But for me, seeing lonely, sad, frightened eyes....especially in the elderly and children, tugs at my heart.
__________________
There's no need to complicate, our time is short..
bbbamI is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-14-2011, 06:31 AM   #49
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
Dawg52's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Central MS/Orange Beach, AL
Posts: 7,432
I hope I don't jinx my Mother's progress, but she has actually gained 2.5 lbs over the last 2 weeks. Eating just a little more at meal times, but having better success with the snacks. She has a GI consult this week, but she certainly won't be getting a feeding tube with the numbers improving. Probably still a good idea to hear what the doc has to say in case things regress.

The surgeon released all restrictions on shoulder therapy. Hopefully she will get more use out it which will in turn help in using a walker. Some improvement there and I think we have a chance to get her home. With the help of hired sitters of course. But that will be better than living in the environment she is in and better on me.
__________________
Retired 3/31/2007@52
Full time wuss.......
Dawg52 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-14-2011, 07:26 AM   #50
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
travelover's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 9,871
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dawg52 View Post
I hope I don't jinx my Mother's progress, but she has actually gained 2.5 lbs over the last 2 weeks. .......
Excellent news. Let's hope her progress continues.
__________________
Yes, I have achieved work / life balance.
travelover is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-14-2011, 07:58 AM   #51
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
Purron's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 5,584
Excellent news indeed! I'm sure your devotion has been a major factor in her improvement. Hopefully, she will improve enough to come home.
__________________
I purr therefore I am.
Purron is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-14-2011, 09:03 AM   #52
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
Moemg's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Sarasota,fl.
Posts: 10,030
Great news !
__________________
Moemg is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-14-2011, 11:40 AM   #53
Administrator
W2R's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: New Orleans
Posts: 38,824
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dawg52 View Post
I hope I don't jinx my Mother's progress, but she has actually gained 2.5 lbs over the last 2 weeks. Eating just a little more at meal times, but having better success with the snacks. She has a GI consult this week, but she certainly won't be getting a feeding tube with the numbers improving. Probably still a good idea to hear what the doc has to say in case things regress.

The surgeon released all restrictions on shoulder therapy. Hopefully she will get more use out it which will in turn help in using a walker. Some improvement there and I think we have a chance to get her home. With the help of hired sitters of course. But that will be better than living in the environment she is in and better on me.
Glad to hear this good news. Whatever those snacks are, they seem to be working nicely for her. If they are something provided by the hospital, then better find out exactly what they are so that you can stock her house with lots of them if/when she gets home. She has had a tough time but it sounds like she is on the mend.
__________________
Already we are boldly launched upon the deep; but soon we shall be lost in its unshored, harbourless immensities.

- - H. Melville, 1851
W2R is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 06-14-2011, 02:33 PM   #54
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
Dawg52's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Central MS/Orange Beach, AL
Posts: 7,432
Quote:
Originally Posted by W2R View Post
Whatever those snacks are, they seem to be working nicely for her. If they are something provided by the hospital, then better find out exactly what they are so that you can stock her house with lots of them if/when she gets home.
Meds! Actually just a variety of things. I sometimes take her ice cream, cheese cake, choc pudding, candy bars and they give her small shakes. She doesn't eat all of it, but a little here and there adds up.
__________________
Retired 3/31/2007@52
Full time wuss.......
Dawg52 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-14-2011, 02:51 PM   #55
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
bbbamI's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Dallas 'burb
Posts: 9,039
Ahhhh....such good news Dawg. Here's a flower for you and your mom.
__________________
There's no need to complicate, our time is short..
bbbamI is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-14-2011, 06:28 PM   #56
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 11,015
It seems that a Dawg is a Mom's best friend.
__________________
Meadbh is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-14-2011, 06:37 PM   #57
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
REWahoo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Texas Hill Country
Posts: 42,071
Quote:
Originally Posted by Meadbh View Post
It seems that a Dawg is a Mom's best friend.
+1
__________________
Numbers is hard

When I hit 70, it hit back

Retired in 2005 at age 58, no pension
REWahoo is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-14-2011, 07:49 PM   #58
Full time employment: Posting here.
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 702
Great news!
__________________
FreeAtLast is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-15-2011, 04:15 AM   #59
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
obgyn65's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: midwestern city
Posts: 4,061
Great news. Well done.
__________________
Very conservative with investments. Not ER'd yet, 48 years old. Please do not take anything I write or imply as legal, financial or medical advice directed to you. Contact your own financial advisor, healthcare provider, or attorney for financial, medical and legal advice.
obgyn65 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-15-2011, 09:37 PM   #60
Full time employment: Posting here.
citrine's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 944
Yay!!! I am glad she is gaining weight....cheesecake will do it!
It's a tough role to be in, but you are doing an amazing job
__________________

__________________
citrine is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
New Doc, decisions, decisions. ls99 Other topics 17 02-19-2011 08:01 AM
59 Year Old: Decisions,Decisions Archman Hi, I am... 32 02-06-2011 09:39 PM
Decisions decisions - $can I leave work$ ?? mippy56 Hi, I am... 9 11-17-2008 09:16 PM
FIRE and purchase decisions preben FIRE and Money 17 11-25-2005 03:49 PM
Best and worst investment decisions TargaDave FIRE and Money 54 08-02-2005 02:40 PM

 

 
All times are GMT -6. The time now is 01:30 PM.
 
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.