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Old 06-16-2015, 09:52 PM   #41
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I could do much better than that since I always thought I would be so much better than Kathy Bates in her Misery role .
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Old 06-16-2015, 10:40 PM   #42
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It will be settled you dance with others no girl friend or you do not dance and continue with the nice relationship ! Give up the dance or dance with her ! A compatible women who puts up with your quirks is harder to find than a dance partner .
Right to the point. You know an egotistical idiot when you see one.

Down goes Fraziah!

Ha
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Old 06-26-2015, 07:31 AM   #43
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And here I never could find a guy willing to go dancing, not that I was all that great at it - I just liked the activity, and the chance to show off in pretty dresses. Life just ain't fair!

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But I like to dance, and she doesn't really want me to.

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Old 06-26-2015, 12:11 PM   #44
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Amethyst, please allow me to introduce Haha. Haha, I'd like you to meet Amethyst.
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Do widows adjust better than widowers?
Old 06-26-2015, 05:04 PM   #45
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Do widows adjust better than widowers?

My wife died in her 40s, since then I'm dating women 15-20 yrs younger, so I guess I'm still maladjusted.
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Old 06-27-2015, 02:37 PM   #46
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If he can get my husband to dance with him, I'll be next

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Amethyst, please allow me to introduce Haha. Haha, I'd like you to meet Amethyst.
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Old 06-27-2015, 03:52 PM   #47
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A fascinating thread to read, as I'm in uncharted waters since being widowed in January. Because DH had been ill for many years-- and because he surpassed any dreams of what I had hoped for in a spouse--this transition time seems less momentous than I would have expected. But, everybody says, "Don't make any major decisions for a year," so I don't.

What is unexpected is this sense that," Glad I had those 35 years with a great guy, even though through most of those years we knew our time together was limited." Actually, neither one of us expected we'd even get those 35. Probably at least 5-10 of them were a bonus.

So, I enjoyed marriage, loved DH, and was obviously sad to lose him.......but I feel like it's time to look forward and live life. He certainly would expect no less. (Nor would I have expected any less of him.)

It was a blessing that he passed before I did, as his disability would have made life extra hard for him if I were not around to help.

So, since I'm healthy, FIRED, and have a very long bucket list, my girlfriends and I have lots of plans for the years ahead. Would I remarry? Not looking, as I can't imagine a better marriage than the one DH shared with me. There are so many other things I'd like to do in life, and the years are waning. I'm hoping for at least another 25, if I can stay in decent shape.

So, yeah, as earlier post-ers noted, I'm probably one of those widows who have no interest in re-visiting what makes a good marriage: patience, accommodation, selflessness, making your place look good before people show up.

To me-- at least for now-- domesticity is done. I'll be a good grandma when that day comes. And I'll "be there" for DS and his dear wife whenever they need me. But when DH was dying, he encouraged me to live a full life after he was gone. He basically said, "You go for it!"

I'd like to.

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Old 06-27-2015, 05:07 PM   #48
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A fascinating thread to read, as I'm in uncharted waters since being widowed in January. Because DH had been ill for many years-- and because he surpassed any dreams of what I had hoped for in a spouse--this transition time seems less momentous than I would have expected. But, everybody says, "Don't make any major decisions for a year," so I don't.



What is unexpected is this sense that," Glad I had those 35 years with a great guy, even though through most of those years we knew our time together was limited." Actually, neither one of us expected we'd even get those 35. Probably at least 5-10 of them were a bonus.



So, I enjoyed marriage, loved DH, and was obviously sad to lose him.......but I feel like it's time to look forward and live life. He certainly would expect no less. (Nor would I have expected any less of him.)



It was a blessing that he passed before I did, as his disability would have made life extra hard for him if I were not around to help.



So, since I'm healthy, FIRED, and have a very long bucket list, my girlfriends and I have lots of plans for the years ahead. Would I remarry? Not looking, as I can't imagine a better marriage than the one DH shared with me. There are so many other things I'd like to do in life, and the years are waning. I'm hoping for at least another 25, if I can stay in decent shape.



So, yeah, as earlier post-ers noted, I'm probably one of those widows who have no interest in re-visiting what makes a good marriage: patience, accommodation, selflessness, making your place look good before people show up.



To me-- at least for now-- domesticity is done. I'll be a good grandma when that day comes. And I'll "be there" for DS and his dear wife whenever they need me. But when DH was dying, he encouraged me to live a full life after he was gone. He basically said, "You go for it!"



I'd like to.




Nice post



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Old 06-28-2015, 09:47 AM   #49
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LitGal: Lovely post. I have a few friends who nursed husbands through long illnesses. They were all very grateful for the extra time they had, and afterwards launched themselves into the next stage of their life with as much hope as sadness. One of them told me she had been through all the stages of grief during her husband's illness, and was left, after his death, with the feeling that comes after a long bout of tears: empty but peaceful. Like your DH, hers told her to get out there and live life. She has. Five years on, she finds herself in love with an old friend who lost his wife to cancer.
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Old 07-03-2015, 10:36 PM   #50
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Originally Posted by LitGal View Post
A fascinating thread to read, as I'm in uncharted waters since being widowed in January. Because DH had been ill for many years-- and because he surpassed any dreams of what I had hoped for in a spouse--this transition time seems less momentous than I would have expected. But, everybody says, "Don't make any major decisions for a year," so I don't.



What is unexpected is this sense that," Glad I had those 35 years with a great guy, even though through most of those years we knew our time together was limited." Actually, neither one of us expected we'd even get those 35. Probably at least 5-10 of them were a bonus.



So, I enjoyed marriage, loved DH, and was obviously sad to lose him.......but I feel like it's time to look forward and live life. He certainly would expect no less. (Nor would I have expected any less of him.)



It was a blessing that he passed before I did, as his disability would have made life extra hard for him if I were not around to help.



So, since I'm healthy, FIRED, and have a very long bucket list, my girlfriends and I have lots of plans for the years ahead. Would I remarry? Not looking, as I can't imagine a better marriage than the one DH shared with me. There are so many other things I'd like to do in life, and the years are waning. I'm hoping for at least another 25, if I can stay in decent shape.



So, yeah, as earlier post-ers noted, I'm probably one of those widows who have no interest in re-visiting what makes a good marriage: patience, accommodation, selflessness, making your place look good before people show up.



To me-- at least for now-- domesticity is done. I'll be a good grandma when that day comes. And I'll "be there" for DS and his dear wife whenever they need me. But when DH was dying, he encouraged me to live a full life after he was gone. He basically said, "You go for it!"



I'd like to.




Great post. Thanks for sharing. Good things coming your way.
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