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Old 06-15-2019, 12:20 PM   #21
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Indeed.

Just said good-bye to my 95 yr. old Step-Dad. Helluva' Man. Lived alone and in perfect shape for 14 years after Mom went. Then he got "old and tired" about 6-8 months ago...Hmm, who would'a thunk it?

There are no more Doctors you need to see. There are no tests needed.

He is Ninety-Five years old.

Do whatever he wants, whenever he wants, and if that is sleep and nap so be it. Let him just enjoy his time and try and do the same.


+1 This is my take on it, too, sadly.





+2: I just went through this with my dad who passed at age 90.
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Old 06-15-2019, 12:36 PM   #22
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95....


It's hard to accept that the end is probably near, but sadly you must....




Tell him you love him while he is still lucid and awake.....it may help to even tell him you are feeling scared and helpless too....





My Mom lived to 95, and was independent and active til the end, then just "got tired" all the time too.....


Oddly, he is probably at peace with slowing down, but I know from experience it's hard for YOU to accept. It was difficult for me. I'm a take charge person, used to getting things done and keeping control, and with Mom, it was one situation where nothing I could do would prolong the inevitable....


It's harder when they are independent and lucid, because you forget they are in their 90's and time is running out....




I wish you the best. Reading your post makes me remember how I felt when Mom died...I hope your Dad lives on, for years.




And be THANKFUL for his health and independence to date....it sounds like he leads a good life for his age....
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Old 06-15-2019, 04:25 PM   #23
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It's also very important to stay hydrated - I know that is a repeated issue for my almost 92-year-old FIL. He just doesn't get thirsty or remember to drink enough water.

That said, it does sound like he's slowing down. You're doing a good job helping him out, but there are probably no magic pills for him at this point.
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Old 06-15-2019, 04:32 PM   #24
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Your dad sounds very much like my mom when she was 96 (last year of her life). Basically just wore out. It was nice to spend time with her.
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Old 06-15-2019, 05:02 PM   #25
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It's also very important to stay hydrated - I know that is a repeated issue for my almost 92-year-old FIL. He just doesn't get thirsty or remember to drink enough water.

That said, it does sound like he's slowing down. You're doing a good job helping him out, but there are probably no magic pills for him at this point.
+1000. DMIL (88) has a problem drinking water, because she might have to use the rest room. But she has been to the ER twice with dehydration. I think she gets it now, but it is a big problem with "older folks".
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Old 06-15-2019, 05:10 PM   #26
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My Dad is 95. He's been in pretty good shape all this time. Lately he's been extremely fatigued. Now, I don't know what 95 feels like and I'm sure most 90+ year olds sleep a lot but he can sleep 14 hours, get up and still be exhausted. He's lost his will to get up and do things. He used to go out 6 days a week and now maybe gets out twice and falls asleep on the car ride home.
His blood work comes back fine, his Dr. says he is by the numbers the healthiest patient in his practice, Blood pressure is 120/70, cholesterol well below 200, sugar is good,etc. Took him to see a vascular guy as he's been complaining of heavy legs. Ultra sound shows good circulation in the arms and legs. He has a bad knee so doesn't walk much anymore so Dr. says it could be a use it or lose it thing.
I have no idea where to go next. What should we try? I have to ask about his testosterone level but I assume they test for this when they did the blood tests.He is also a good size guy who still carries some good muscle so I doubt that's it.
I've even considered depression as he lives alone and maybe that's getting to him? But I would think he'd jump at the chance to get out and yet doesn't seem to have the energy most times.Now that I'm retired I stop over 3 times a day to visit but he's usually sleeping. Anyway just venting and looking for any ideas. Where would you turn next? A gerontologist?
They don’t routinely test for testosterone. That would have to be requested.

My dad, 89, who lives in assisted living (more of a group home situation), really doesn’t want to take care of anything anymore even though we kids keep offering. He thinks he can’t live much longer. We can’t convince him to get his cataracts fixed even though his vision has seriously degraded in one eye. It’s very frustrating.

I think depression is common in older people.

Maybe gerontologist.

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Some people just get sick of living which might account for the excess sleep.
This is becoming obvious.
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Old 06-15-2019, 05:18 PM   #27
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I don't think the standard blood panel includes a measurement of oxygen absorption in the blood. That can lead to fatigue and then heart failure (this is how my dad died). I wish my dad had known earlier, and could have had supplemental oxygen. Best of luck to you and your dad this father's day.
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Old 06-15-2019, 06:42 PM   #28
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When my dad moved to assisted living from his isolated farmhouse, his mood improved 100%. The ladies at the home even took an interest in him.

Not that assisted living is necessarily the answer -- one of the local senior centers hosts an afternoon of card games. It's a great social outlet and an opportunity to get the mind working.
Moving the OP's dad to an assisted living may work. I moved my mom (has dementia) to ALP and she is much happier with more people around her. She was living by herself and was getting less active, and more anti-social.
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Old 06-15-2019, 07:18 PM   #29
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+1000. DMIL (88) has a problem drinking water, because she might have to use the rest room. But she has been to the ER twice with dehydration. I think she gets it now, but it is a big problem with "older folks".
yea, I have signs on the fridge and countertop to "drink water". I also repleca a fresh bottle of water everyday on the table where he sits. He usually drinks at least that.
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Old 06-15-2019, 07:21 PM   #30
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Thanks for all the responses so far. I'm not ready to give up just yet. We had a really good day at the casino today. Lots of fun.
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Old 06-15-2019, 07:31 PM   #31
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Thanks for all the responses so far. I'm not ready to give up just yet. We had a really good day at the casino today. Lots of fun.
Wow, well that’s impressive!
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Old 06-15-2019, 08:18 PM   #32
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Thanks for all the responses so far. I'm not ready to give up just yet. We had a really good day at the casino today. Lots of fun.
that's awesome. Take every day as a gift

did he add to the inheritance?
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Old 06-15-2019, 09:16 PM   #33
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Be sure to take a video of him at the casino during fun times or when he is telling stories from long ago. You will want to hear his voice when he is gone. I didn't do this before my mother passed 8 months ago and I deeply regret it. Pictures are not enough.

We went to visit my 98 year old friend today and video'd her while she was talking about playing on the farm as a kid. She doesn't walk much anymore but has all of her other faculties. Perfect hearing even at 98. She's such a treat. We made her day by getting her a new pillow and some Benefiber. It's 240 miles round trip but worth every mile.

She has been living in an ALF for the last 5 years and I know it has contributed to her happiness and longevity. The social community is important but so are regular meals.
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Old 06-15-2019, 09:24 PM   #34
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Both my dad and his said they were done and each were dead within a week. I think people just get worn out.,
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Old 06-16-2019, 04:50 AM   #35
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This might be a stretch, but Lyme Disease can make you very tired, I know that from experience. It's a disease transmitted by ticks and you can get a tick on you almost anywhere - you're own back yard, a city park, etc. A simple blood test can tell if you have it, and the treatment is usually a round of antibiotics.
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Old 06-16-2019, 07:55 AM   #36
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I don't think the standard blood panel includes a measurement of oxygen absorption in the blood. That can lead to fatigue and then heart failure (this is how my dad died). I wish my dad had known earlier, and could have had supplemental oxygen. Best of luck to you and your dad this father's day.
Something like the above--- you can have age adequate levels of B, Folic acid, iron and D for the creation of hemoglobin etc but if those "adequate" levels are not readily broken down in the gut for absorption the marrow in our bones cannot make enough blood/hemoglobin etc.

Also for $70 buy a 10K lux full spectrum light---ours is a Verilux. Highly recommended by Drs. up here to supplement particularly in the winter which can be long and gray. About 1 hour a day--sits on the corner of our desk. You don't look at it directly-- it sits at an angle about 2 ft away. Its on right now as I type this.
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Old 06-16-2019, 10:32 AM   #37
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that's awesome. Take every day as a gift

did he add to the inheritance?
Lol, no but I'm encouraging to blow it all (which ain't much)
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Old 06-16-2019, 10:36 AM   #38
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This might be a stretch, but Lyme Disease can make you very tired, I know that from experience. It's a disease transmitted by ticks and you can get a tick on you almost anywhere - you're own back yard, a city park, etc. A simple blood test can tell if you have it, and the treatment is usually a round of antibiotics.
No , thanks I'm looking for anything. Now that he's quit golf he rarely gets anywhere green.
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Old 06-16-2019, 10:40 AM   #39
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One other thing I forgot to add in the OP was that while he had what I'd call normal tiredness for a 90+ year old he got sick about 2 weeks ago. Had a bad cough, tired. Dr. gave him a couple Z packs, antibiotic, and a steroid shot to no real avail. The cough is gone but the fatigue has lasted. He gave him a chest xray and no pneumonia. He was pretty much at a loss for what to try next. That's why I tend to think this is more than just wearing out.
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Old 06-16-2019, 10:54 AM   #40
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This thread got me thinking of my great aunt Tilda. She lived to be 99 and never wore eyeglasses -- even though she'd have to hold printed material and letters to within an inch of her nose to read them.

Somehow, whenever we'd visit, an opportunity always arose for her to display her "phenomenal" eyesight, after which the nephews would nudge each other and remark that she could still read without the aid of glasses. Yeah, after a fashion ... but it was a point of pride for her all her life.
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