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Old 10-28-2007, 08:57 PM   #21
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I think I was just feeling "pouty" about having to go back to work in the morning!

...the stress has been horrendous, I think I can stay ahead of it for that long by really hitting the gym more (I have lapsed in the past month), and trying more meditation and solitude. In the past month, my mother has died, my daughter has had weight loss surgery against my advice, my 90-year-old uncle narrowly escaped the Rancho Bernardo fire, and the sobs at work have got me down with their back stabbing. I will hit the gym hard for the next three weeks, cut back on the caffeine so that I at least have a prayer of sleeping, and then I'll be off over Thanksgiving.

... I think taking the vacation time would be money well spent, for me at this point.
Wow! Anyone would feel stress with half this going on! Yes, I think a long vacation is in order -- along with a few long weekends to chill out. And don't forget that grief expresses itself in very different ways. You're in a fragile state right now -- take care of yourself!
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Old 10-28-2007, 10:05 PM   #22
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Wow! Anyone would feel stress with half this going on! Yes, I think a long vacation is in order -- along with a few long weekends to chill out. And don't forget that grief expresses itself in very different ways. You're in a fragile state right now -- take care of yourself!
Maybe that's it. There have been some other stressful things going on as well, including some (good) very high stress work things that required long days and came off very well for me a week after my mother's death, and probably inspired the back-stabbers. I only took two days of bereavement time, though I could probably take more if I asked to do so.
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Old 10-28-2007, 10:21 PM   #23
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As a federal employee, I will qualify for lifetime medical in two years. My BC/BS premiums will be the same in retirement as they are for government employees who are still working, and when I get Medicare Part A, that Medicare will be primary and my lifetime BC/BS will be secondary. Medicare Parts B and D are considered to be pretty much redundant so I would not get them. I believe that currently Part A is free. I am 59 and at age 61 I can retire with lifetime medical.

The petty bickering and office politics at my job are stressing me out a whole lot (and the other type of politics just adds to the mix, ugh). Guess I am getting "short" (a short-timer). I am wondering if it is even worth working for the next two years. I am eager to get out of the working world. Right now I am enjoying a three-day weekend and I am dreading going back in tomorrow.

I would have enough money to ER right now, though with the U.S. medical system so "up in the air" I have no idea what I would be getting myself into, as far as insurance premiums from 59 to 65 or even Medicare after 65. If I did not have the lifetime medical, at 65 I could get Medicare Parts B & D instead (if it still exists).

So how much is lifetime medical worth to you? How much money would you trade for lifetime medical of this sort?

I probably will do the "sensible thing" and not retire now, but I would sure feel stupid if it turns out that I could have done so.

I do have about six weeks of vacation time accumulated so maybe I just need a vacation.
Our (DW and me) COBRA is costing us $650/month for the balance of this year and a slight increase $660/month for 2008. At the end of 2008, I will be 'eligible' for retirees health policy (a little bite less attractive in benefits then the current COBRA). The cost IS $900/month in todays terms. I am not sure what it will escalate to by the end of 2008. So the question is, what will 'whatever policy you desire' cost you IF YOU BAIL early? I did the math and put the necessary numbers into my 'retirement' calculations and found that we were willing to 'pay the cost' for the next 9 years (and after) until Medicare kicks in and we get a slight break on costs.
I guess the answer is to get the quotes and do the math and make the determination for yourself.
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Old 10-29-2007, 06:45 AM   #24
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Want2Retire,

I am almost exactly where you are (maybe about 1 year behind) I have 3 years to go and have calculated the value of my company's retirement benefit to me to be at least $100,000 or so. I am also like you, feeling like the extra few years of savings will add to my peace of mind when I fianlly retire. I am doing everything I can to stick it out. In the past 9 months, I went from being overweight with high blood pressure and high cholesterol to working out daily (during lunch hour) and losing better than 50 pounds at last check. Whenever I am depressed as a result of work or don't feel like going to the gym I say to myself "taking care of my health is the most important thing I can do. I will go into retirement in excellent physical condition and financial condition". It is working for the most part, although I do have days where I feel exactly as you do..
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Old 10-29-2007, 07:36 AM   #25
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Well, there is no benefit for keeping it but I still feel I should be sick to use it. I used a couple of hours last week, but the stress was making me feel so ill I was feeling nauseous. So, I went home a little early rather than staying and throwing up on my desk.
As a Federal manager I encouraged employees who got stressed out to take a couple of sick days. There is nothing inappropriate about that. If you wait long enough you will have a doctor prescribing the time off. I remember with horror the day one of the nicest guys who worked for me killed himself. He was objectively a great employee but he never felt adequate and was always stressed over project status. Unfortunately, none of us realized how stressed out he really was.
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Old 10-29-2007, 07:44 AM   #26
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Maybe that's it. There have been some other stressful things going on as well, including some (good) very high stress work things that required long days and came off very well for me a week after my mother's death, and probably inspired the back-stabbers. I only took two days of bereavement time, though I could probably take more if I asked to do so.

W2R,

First, I am sorry for the loss of your mother.

On employment, I can only add to what others have said. You have a lot going on and need to take care of your self first. Take more time to grieve, using either SL or AL, depending on what your supervisor will allow. You obviously have shown that you are a valuable employee. Paid and leave without pay may both be in order. You should be able to take time and recover without jeopardizing the long term value of health care.
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Old 10-29-2007, 08:28 AM   #27
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No, private insurance policyholders pay their way. Government and employer paid policies are subsidized by the employer. There is no way an individual could buy a $250 deductible policy that WTR has for the price she pays.

-- Rita
Yup, I pay more than WTR for a $10k deductible plan.

WTR, I suggest sticking it out 2 more years and take all your vacation in the mean time. That will help a lot.
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Old 10-29-2007, 10:06 AM   #28
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Thanks, everyone.

Now, there's more to the story.

I was surprised this morning to find out that it was the day for my annual performance evaluation. Much to my surprise I was essentially told that I still walk on water, and that I would be getting an award and so on. So, I guess the back-stabbing was ineffective or unnoticed. At the end of the evaluation session, I was told that I did so much for the agency, and I was asked if there is anything further my agency could do to help. So I took the opportunity to ask for Thursday and Friday off for additional bereavement/sick leave. I mentioned not sleeping and getting a little twitchy, and there was no problem with getting it. In fact, he bent over backwards to make sure it got set up properly.

Tomorrow is a long awaited (and expensive) training, and Wednesday is our Employee Appreciation picnic, so actually it is almost like I got the whole week off. This should help!! And getting a great performance evaluation never hurt morale, either.

I think you all have really helped me to identify the problem, that I am getting burned out and that is making the stress seem impossible to deal with. Dawg, you are right - - I need time off! So, I am going to do whatever I can for the next two years to get time off and chill!!! I really do need the lifetime medical, to be able to sleep at night.

I would have asked for next week too, except that I have to fly to a meeting for work and already have made arrangements. Maybe I can get the week after that. And the week after that is my vacation.

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I remember with horror the day one of the nicest guys who worked for me killed himself. He was objectively a great employee but he never felt adequate and was always stressed over project status. Unfortunately, none of us realized how stressed out he really was.
(Just wanted to assure you - - not going to happen here!!)
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Old 10-29-2007, 10:18 AM   #29
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Please take your vacation & sick days! As others have stated, with all you have going on you are a powder keg. As a result of being a forum member, I USE my allowed time off - and have not one regret! We all fill important positions, but life will continue with our without us...I prefer it to continue with a happy/healthy/balanced me (and happy/healthy/balanced friends, family, coworkers!!)
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Old 10-29-2007, 02:03 PM   #30
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I'm almost in the same boat as W2R, with a regular retirement just 18 months away and an early-retirement option ending 12/31/07. A few things that have helped me tough it out: (1) I shortened my job commuting time; (2) I went on a 4/10 alternative work schedule, which translates into 4 day weekends every other week; (3) I'm enjoying lots of travel when off from work; (4) I'm continuing to maintain my fitness and exercising a lot during lunch break.

If your office permits it, as most federal agencies do, I'd explore going on the 4/5/9 or 4/10 work schedule -- this frees up a lot of time, and most are actually more productive at the job. The time off, means less stress for many. One other possibility is to look at teleworking -- sometimes doing work at home is less stressful.
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Old 10-29-2007, 02:34 PM   #31
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I'm almost in the same boat as W2R, with a regular retirement just 18 months away and an early-retirement option ending 12/31/07. A few things that have helped me tough it out: (1) I shortened my job commuting time; (2) I went on a 4/10 alternative work schedule, which translates into 4 day weekends every other week; (3) I'm enjoying lots of travel when off from work; (4) I'm continuing to maintain my fitness and exercising a lot during lunch break.

If your office permits it, as most federal agencies do, I'd explore going on the 4/5/9 or 4/10 work schedule -- this frees up a lot of time, and most are actually more productive at the job. The time off, means less stress for many. One other possibility is to look at teleworking -- sometimes doing work at home is less stressful.
Thanks for the suggestions. Although all of them that might help are either already in place, or else unavailable to me, I do appreciate that people care!

It looks like I will be getting some time off, though. Take a look at post #28 on the last page.
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Old 10-30-2007, 05:30 PM   #32
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Glad to hear things are going better W2R.

One more thought about working out and staying in good mental and physical health, does your unit have a wellness program with matching time for things like working out? We are able to take up to a half hour a day as administrative leave (matched by a half hour on our own time) for wellness activities. It has helped me maintain my sanity with all of the agency and personnel changes over the years.

Ditto on all of the comments about taking AL or SL to sort things out. I thought about retiring at the end of this year but realized that if I tried to go without any days off for a whole year I'd go nuts, it just wasn't worth the lump sum payment.

Congrats on the award, hope a promotion comes with it
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Old 10-30-2007, 06:06 PM   #33
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Glad to hear things are going better W2R.

One more thought about working out and staying in good mental and physical health, does your unit have a wellness program with matching time for things like working out? We are able to take up to a half hour a day as administrative leave (matched by a half hour on our own time) for wellness activities. It has helped me maintain my sanity with all of the agency and personnel changes over the years.

Ditto on all of the comments about taking AL or SL to sort things out. I thought about retiring at the end of this year but realized that if I tried to go without any days off for a whole year I'd go nuts, it just wasn't worth the lump sum payment.

Congrats on the award, hope a promotion comes with it
Nope, just got a promotion a few months ago, but the award does involve cash. Should fatten up my nest egg nicely. What a great wellness program you have! We get a little help with our gym fees (which comes to less than half the cost), but no admin leave or other time concessions. Admin leave is scarce at my agency. We didn't even get admin leave to leave early the Friday before Katrina hit.

I just figured out that on my 9/80 schedule, I have enough AL that I could have only 4 day weeks for the next two years. Interesting computation! It would probably be even better to schedule several 1 week vacations, though.
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Old 10-30-2007, 08:19 PM   #34
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I just figured out that on my 9/80 schedule, I have enough AL that I could have only 4 day weeks for the next two years. Interesting computation! It would probably be even better to schedule several 1 week vacations, though.
Here's an interesting suggestion to help you get through the two measely short little years.

Create a list of days from tomorrow thru RE day--for two years that would be 770 lines (or is it 771 for leap year in 2008?). Every day just before going home, cross off that day on the list. It gives you that little bit of daily pleasure of knowing you are getting a bit closer to RE, and a visual representation of your progress.

And Fridays are more fun, and weeks off even more so. Because then you get to cross of three days or nine days at a time. Forging your RE progress ahead.

I did this five years before my RE date. And some of those five years were rough. But my "cross off" list helped me get through it. Daily reminders I was nearing my goal, and don't give up and shortchange my longterm goal.

I got the idea from another retiree who retired maybe six years before I did. Helped him too.

Regards, and the lifetime medical deal for only 2 more measely years is too good to pass up. Set your goal, focus on it, find ways to deal with any stress along the way, and cross off the days one by one from now to RE day two years from now.

Oh, and when your do RE *keep* that cross off list as a memento of having marched to and reached your RE goal.
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Old 10-30-2007, 09:55 PM   #35
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Here's an interesting suggestion to help you get through the two measely short little years.

Create a list of days from tomorrow thru RE day--for two years that would be 770 lines (or is it 771 for leap year in 2008?). Every day just before going home, cross off that day on the list. It gives you that little bit of daily pleasure of knowing you are getting a bit closer to RE, and a visual representation of your progress.

And Fridays are more fun, and weeks off even more so. Because then you get to cross of three days or nine days at a time. Forging your RE progress ahead.

I did this five years before my RE date. And some of those five years were rough. But my "cross off" list helped me get through it. Daily reminders I was nearing my goal, and don't give up and shortchange my longterm goal.

I got the idea from another retiree who retired maybe six years before I did. Helped him too.

Regards, and the lifetime medical deal for only 2 more measely years is too good to pass up. Set your goal, focus on it, find ways to deal with any stress along the way, and cross off the days one by one from now to RE day two years from now.

Oh, and when your do RE *keep* that cross off list as a memento of having marched to and reached your RE goal.
That's a great idea, and thanks. Actually I've been doing that in Excel since I had 2300 days to go. I have it set up so that I just punch in the number of days left in the month; for example, today I put in "1" in October (and I have it set up to add the months in this year, and the whole years remaining). I have 739 days left as of today. When I joined the ER forum, I had over 1000 days left so I am making progress. Maybe I'll try a paper version, too.

I feel a lot better about waiting the two years. In the back of my mind, I wondered if people on this board would think it was dumb to wait or not. Apparently they think waiting is a good idea. Guess I do too.

Through this thread it occurred to me that I am a little burned out. Well, a lot burned out. I haven't used much annual leave at all for the past year or longer, because I was trying to save it up. Stupid idea! But that can be changed.
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Old 10-31-2007, 02:08 PM   #36
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I feel as if the poster knew what was going on here. I have 436 calendar days to go for full retirement and full Federal health insurance. After the yearly health insurance changes at my husband's Fortune 100 company, I figured I needed to provide for myself.

I was thinking what a waste my 500 hours of sick leave was going to be when darn, I fell hard and damaged my knee. Had a week off for the swelling to go down and now am on half time because walking or standing for any time is too hard. Then there may be surgery which will use up more time. Not a good thing for my health but I am grateful for the saved leave.

I hope it does not use up the whole 500 hours because that would mean a lot of painful recovery but nice to be paid while I recover.
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Old 10-31-2007, 02:35 PM   #37
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Sorry to hear about your knee!! I don't think there is any way you would need 500 hours for it, though. I'm glad you have it in case you need it, and I'm sure that is comforting.

Today I wrote down the 738 dates between now and the day when I qualify to retire. With five columns per page, and writing on both sides, I was able to fit them all onto two sheets of paper. I think this will be fun.

I mentioned the concept of getting 1/2 hour administrative leave per day for an exercise program to a co-worker. He said, "That man works for a PROGRESSIVE agency!!" and several of us were ROFL. We sure wish we had that.

I am taking the rest of the week off on bereavement/SL. I'm glad because I think I need it! The rat race was getting me down and I was spending too much of my time off staring at the wall and not sleeping due to work pressure. All this freaking out, and I am someone who got a promotion a few months ago and was told yesterday that I am getting a cash award for excellence (something very uncommon in our unit). Imagine how much pressure people must feel who are not considered to be doing a good job. Yet, I tend to feel beaten down and as as though the best that I can do just isn't good enough and as though people must think I am terrible at my job. Part of the problem is the avalanche of work that crashed down on us after the hurricanes (over half my work is hurricane related these days), combined with agency difficulties in personnel recruitment and retention due to living conditions down here.

Last night, I got 8 hours of sleep (ah, bliss!) and today, I got back to the gym after not going for over a month and a half. Most of my routine is on the weight machines, so I had to back off 5-10 pounds on each machine. But, at least I managed that and I know I will be able to increase the weights later.
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Old 10-31-2007, 04:47 PM   #38
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Today I wrote down the 738 dates between now and the day when I qualify to retire. With five columns per page, and writing on both sides, I was able to fit them all onto two sheets of paper. I think this will be fun............

........Last night, I got 8 hours of sleep (ah, bliss!) and today, I got back to the gym after not going for over a month and a half. Most of my routine is on the weight machines, so I had to back off 5-10 pounds on each machine. But, at least I managed that and I know I will be able to increase the weights later.
I have been retired 7 years now. I still have my five year countdown sheets. Every once in awhile I glance at them to remind myself of goal setting, dream planning, goals reached, and dreams come true. The completed countdown sheets are visible evidence of the powers of goal setting, perspective, and perserverance.

Glad to hear you are getting back to your exercise routine too. I go three days a week ever since I retired. I dropped 25 pounds and many points off blood presure, trigycerides, cholesterol. Whenever I can't make it, I definitely miss the "good" feeling I get from exercising. It has become an ingrained part of my routine. And it is a great stress buster and perspective restorer.
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Old 10-31-2007, 05:12 PM   #39
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So how much is lifetime medical worth to you? How much money would you trade for lifetime medical of this sort?


DW and I are covered under a simular plan as I am retired military (Tricare). Prior to ER and being covered by Tricare I considered retirement pay as my main benefit, but now that I am retired I place a much higher value on the Tricare lifetime benefits than the income as I have other income sources but only one medical source. We pay $230 annually each, receive free meds, no co-pay, no additional fees, excellent care. Very difficult to put a price tag on that kind of coverage, but I value it more than $ in the long-term. At age 65 Tricare will become secondary to Medicare but we will still have access to many military medical benefits.
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Old 10-31-2007, 10:00 PM   #40
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I had to give up the coffee because it was bothering my stomach but when I stopped drinking it I was very surprised at how much my anxiety level dropped. You might try a little experiment to see if it does the same for you. I never had any trouble sleeping but the stuff that went on at work (which is quite mild but for which I have no tolerance remaining) got to me way worse when I was drinking coffee. I was only drinking decaf but there was still enough caffiene in it to cause the anxiety. Of course, working out will elevate your mood even more.
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