I Honestly Knew That Life Was Going Too Smoothly

[Pellice]

Kevin and Ronnie, best wishes to you and your wives. One step at a time, but you keep going forward!

[cyber888]

Im sorry to hear that. Let her take tons of blueberries and acai berries .. purple berries are said to kill cancer cells according to some studies

[Calico]

Quote:

Originally Posted by erkevin We (she) may be one of the lucky ones; it is the most common type of breast cancer and treatable. As long as it has not spread to the lymph nodes, it may be surgery (lumpectomy) and hormone suppression. We meet with the surgeon tomorrow.

It sounds like your DW has been diagnosed with IDC. I am sure that both of you are feeling overwhelmed by emotions at the moment, not to mention trying to process all the information the doctors are throwing at you. It is a scary time, but I agree with a lot of the previous posters that there are reasons to feel hopeful. As one poster said, treatment has improved by leaps and bounds in the last 20 years. Every chance you get, take a deep breath (both of you!) and remind yourselves that you can get through this together.


I was diagnosed with IDC in May of 2018. It was caught when it was small and early, and it sounds like that is the case with your DW as well. My lymph nodes were negative. I chose to undergo a double mastectomy rather than a lumpectomy - this was my personal choice, which was at odds with the surgeon's recommendation of a lumpectomy. I simply didn't want to deal with a lifetime of constant mammograms going forward, nor did I want to have radiation. I haven't regretted my decision for a single moment.


I opted for several rounds of chemo, which I completed six months ago this week. I will take a hormone suppressant daily for 5 years (so 4.5 more years).

Chemo for me was not a picnic, however, it was nothing like what I feared. My main issue throughout was extreme fatigue. They give patients loads of anti-nausea meds these days. As they explained it to me, no matter what side effects I had from chemo, they had a way to treat them. I can tell you that this turned out to be absolutely true!

I had an amazing medical team, and they still follow me closely; I have rechecks every 3 months for now. I am feeling very good, and most of my energy is back. I still experience fatigue if I do too much, so I work shorter hours for the time being, and I really pace myself in every area of my life outside work. The most important advice my doctors gave me, and I will pass this along for your DW, was to listen to my body. I can't stress this enough. I became a world class napper!!

The other bit of advice I can share is to ask for help from family and friends. People want to help, but they don't always know what to do. It is OK to ask for help!

Best of luck on this journey, and please give my best wishes to your DW. I hope she will take comfort from knowing that it is possible to get through whatever treatment you choose, and to thrive on the other side.

[Calico]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ronnieboy Sorry to hear erkevin It is a punch to the gut. I am going through this myself now with DW. I don't want to hijack the thread, but our experience so far has gone from terrified/death sentence to looking forward to our plans after treatment. <snip> DW was beating herself up for not getting her mammograms on a regular basis and luckily the surgeon let her know that even if she had this was still going to happen, they 'might' have caught it earlier but not necessarily so. <snip>

Ronnie,

Please see my post at #63. I traveled almost the same road as your DW, except that my lymph nodes were negative. I am now six months post-chemo and thriving. I also beat myself up for skipping my mammogram for one year, and my surgeon said exactly the same thing - they may or may not have found it earlier, but it would not have changed the outcome for me.

These next few months are the time for your wife to be very kind to herself, and to rest as much as she can.

Reassure her that the hair does grow back!! I was bald for several months, but my hair has grown back and I actually like it more than I liked my pre-chemo hair. I didn't want to face slowly losing my hair in bits and pieces, so I went to Great Clips one week before chemo and they shaved my head. In this area they do this for free for anyone undergoing chemo. Amazon has a great variety of beanies, FYI.

Best of luck to both of you on your journey.

[MarieIG]

Quote:

Originally Posted by erkevin We (she) may be one of the lucky ones; it is the most common type of breast cancer and treatable. As long as it has not spread to the lymph nodes, it may be surgery (lumpectomy) and hormone suppression. We meet with the surgeon tomorrow.

Hope the surgeon was able to explain the procedure options to you and DW, and provide some comfort.

[MarieIG]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rianne OP, I re examined all my medical records from my (2) cancer DX this morning. The CT scans, bone scans, MRI, oncology reports, I saved them all. I had an Oncotype DX after surgery in 2011. This report tells you probabilities of recurrence after the pathology is examined. Check to see if insurance covers this. My sentinel lymph node biopsy was positive, with microscopic invasive cell(s). The rest of lymph nodes negative. My chance for recurrence was very low. From this report I decided to forgo chemo and radiation. This is a personal choice. My advice, demand complete explanation of all the medical jargon that is thrown at you. There is so much information to digest. Keep asking questions, if you don't understand, ask again. Second and third opinions are to your benefit. Any Oncologist worth their weight will welcome 2nd and 3rd opinions. Many healing thoughts sent your way, spiritual, physical and mental.

I had that test as well. It turned out not to be covered by my insurance, but the company ended up waiving the fee. There is now more information available as to which scores (as rated by the onco DX) would be most likely to benefit from chemo, as there was when I was tested.

[Rianne]

Here's a link from breastcancer.org about oncotype DX.


https://www.breastcancer.org/symptom...es/oncotype_dx

[MarieIG]

https://www.cancer.gov/types/breast/research/tailorx

Here is another one.

[erkevin]

Thank you to everyone for your kind words and wisdom. It is IDC and having had a few days to digest that, leaves us believing that we are very fortunate. The tumor is only about 1 cm. The lumpectomy is Wednesday and that will tell us what we will need to do going forward (they are also taking sections of lymph node).
Since most of us are older, we grew up knowing people who died from cancer. I recall that a cancer diagnosis = a death sentence. Now, we all know cancer survivors.
Thank you again.

[Calico]

Quote:

Originally Posted by erkevin Thank you to everyone for your kind words and wisdom. It is IDC and having had a few days to digest that, leaves us believing that we are very fortunate. The tumor is only about 1 cm. The lumpectomy is Wednesday and that will tell us what we will need to do going forward (they are also taking sections of lymph node). Since most of us are older, we grew up knowing people who died from cancer. I recall that a cancer diagnosis = a death sentence. Now, we all know cancer survivors. Thank you again.

After Wednesday you and your DW will have a lot more information.

The waiting and the not knowing what to expect is the hardest part. Once you have information and can begin taking action, you might be surprised and find that the stress drops considerably. It sounds strange but it's true for a lot of people.

Good luck on Wednesday and here's hoping they get results back to you quickly.

[MarieIG]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Calico After Wednesday you and your DW will have a lot more information. The waiting and the not knowing what to expect is the hardest part. Once you have information and can begin taking action, you might be surprised and find that the stress drops considerably. It sounds strange but it's true for a lot of people. Good luck on Wednesday and here's hoping they get results back to you quickly.

I found that to be true as well.

I am hoping that Kevin & his DW get good news on Wednesday.

[Nemo2]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Calico The waiting and the not knowing what to expect is the hardest part.

And you always focus on the worst case scenario.

[HtownRose]

So sorry y'all are going through this & praying for you both!

Lots of great words of advice here already. The only thing I can think of to add is a blog post I read a while back & thought made a lot of sense regarding how the family rallies around the patient. An entertaining read even if you do not end up implementing this strategy:

Jen Hatmaker - Our Family Cancer Manifesto

[erkevin]

Again, thank you to everyone for their thoughts, prayers, and advice. Step one is complete; lumpectomy was yesterday. It was a horribly long day, but the results were about as good as a person could hope for. Surgeon got all of the tumor and a good portion of surrounding tissue. Slides of the lymph nodes were negative (yeah!). Everything still has to be sent to pathology, but for now, the news is good.

[Teacher Terry]

That’s great news. A friend of mine was diagnosed with stage 4 ovarian cancer at age 48. After surgery was told she had 6 months. She said no way was she dying and had chemo and lived another 20 years. It’s amazing how positive she was as I don’t think I could have maintained that attitude.

[footenote]

Congratulations!! Nothing suspicious in the lymph nodes is huge.

[Ronnieboy]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Calico Ronnie, Please see my post at #63. I traveled almost the same road as your DW, except that my lymph nodes were negative. I am now six months post-chemo and thriving. I also beat myself up for skipping my mammogram for one year, and my surgeon said exactly the same thing - they may or may not have found it earlier, but it would not have changed the outcome for me. These next few months are the time for your wife to be very kind to herself, and to rest as much as she can. Reassure her that the hair does grow back!! I was bald for several months, but my hair has grown back and I actually like it more than I liked my pre-chemo hair. I didn't want to face slowly losing my hair in bits and pieces, so I went to Great Clips one week before chemo and they shaved my head. In this area they do this for free for anyone undergoing chemo. Amazon has a great variety of beanies, FYI. Best of luck to both of you on your journey.

Thanks for the information and well wishes. She had the first dose of chemo on Wednesday last week so it has been 8 days. The day she got it she seemed ok until the evening then it all when to heck....she was pretty much bedridden Thurs, Fri, Sat, Sun, and Monday due to the intense nausea and extreme fatigue. She started to feel like it wasn't at least getting any worse and maybe a bit better on Tuesday and as of today, Thursday, almost is back to normal but super tired. She can't wait to go back again on Wednesday

Unfortunately the oral anti emetics aren't working so hot. She says she can't tell much of a difference using ondansetron or promethazine than not using them. She has been alternating and they added lorazepam, which of course adds to the drowsiness.
Luckily only 3 more doses of this combo then 4 of the taxol (which they claim is not as bad as the A/C combo) but when they all suck I guess they can only say it sucks less.

I did get a bunch of 'do rags' and knit hats, beanies and baseball caps for her wearing pleasure. She still hasn't cut her hair yet, but is planning too. It is said day 17 is the key day for most to start losing their hair. Shes hoping to lose her arm and leg hair too

Thanks again for the well wishes and we do plan on kicking cancers butt and continuing on more appreciative of our future plans.

[Calico]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ronnieboy Thanks for the information and well wishes. She had the first dose of chemo on Wednesday last week so it has been 8 days. The day she got it she seemed ok until the evening then it all when to heck....she was pretty much bedridden Thurs, Fri, Sat, Sun, and Monday due to the intense nausea and extreme fatigue. She started to feel like it wasn't at least getting any worse and maybe a bit better on Tuesday and as of today, Thursday, almost is back to normal but super tired. She can't wait to go back again on Wednesday I hear you!! My oncologist told me that just about the time I started feeling close to "normal" after every chemo round, it would be time to go back for the next one. He was absolutely correct. Unfortunately the oral anti emetics aren't working so hot. She says she can't tell much of a difference using ondansetron or promethazine than not using them. She has been alternating and they added lorazepam, which of course adds to the drowsiness. I'm sorry to hear this. Ondansetron (Zofran) and Promethazine were lifesavers for me, but I know they don't work for everyone. My doctor advised me not to wait until I felt nauseous, but to stick strictly to the recommended schedule for taking the meds even if I didn't have a hint of nausea, so that's what I did, and in my case it worked. I hope your DW finds something that works for her. Luckily only 3 more doses of this combo then 4 of the taxol (which they claim is not as bad as the A/C combo) but when they all suck I guess they can only say it sucks less. I had T/C (Taxotere and Cyclophosphamide) instead of A/C. I did read hundreds of posts on breastcancer.org about A/C - it sounds about as nasty as it can be. The "A" (Adriamycin) was referred to as the Red Devil. I did get a bunch of 'do rags' and knit hats, beanies and baseball caps for her wearing pleasure. She still hasn't cut her hair yet, but is planning too. It is said day 17 is the key day for most to start losing their hair. Shes hoping to lose her arm and leg hair too Nobody warned me I would lose my eyebrows and eyelashes too!! So be forewarned if this happens. They are coming back now. Thanks again for the well wishes and we do plan on kicking cancers butt and continuing on more appreciative of our future plans.

Once you do kick its butt, you will find that the little stuff that used to bother both of you doesn't mean a thing. Annoyances that used to get to you will roll off your back going forward. A silver lining to look forward to. Best of luck with the rest of the treatments, and here's hoping the side effects lessen as you go.

[Calico]

Quote:

Originally Posted by erkevin Again, thank you to everyone for their thoughts, prayers, and advice. Step one is complete; lumpectomy was yesterday. It was a horribly long day, but the results were about as good as a person could hope for. Surgeon got all of the tumor and a good portion of surrounding tissue. Slides of the lymph nodes were negative (yeah!). Everything still has to be sent to pathology, but for now, the news is good.

That is wonderful news that the lymph nodes were negative!! So glad to hear it. Here's hoping the path results provide more encouraging news.

[Dtail]

Thank you for the update. We wish you and wife enjoyable future times together.