Instant Karma from The Soup Nazi

[cute fuzzy bunny]

My wife has a great way of resolving this inner conflict.

In her parlance, "M'am" means "bitch" and "Sir" means "jackass".

So she'd have just said "Oh...thank you m'am!"

[Sarah in SC]

CFB, I have a friend for whom "client" means something kinda like that...

[HFWR]

My Friend...

[Westernskies]

In varying degrees of satisfaction...

1. Ignoring her was probably the least confrontational.

2. When she said you won't look like her when you are 71, you could have responded " I sure as hell hope not!"

3. Or, to plagarize WC Fields. ".. yes ma'am, but tomorrow my lasagne will be gone, and you will still be ugly"

4. Since you were hobbling with a cane and heavily medicated, you could have "accidentlally" dumped your whole tray of toxic meat lasagna on the b!+<h after she sat down to eat her half here/half to go /half-portion of veggie lasagne- and then mumbled that you hope you don't look like that when you were 71...

[bbbamI]

Woo...tough crowd! ...

[Khan]

Quote:

Originally Posted by cute fuzzy bunny My wife has a great way of resolving this inner conflict. In her parlance, "M'am" means "bitch" and "Sir" means "jackass". So she'd have just said "Oh...thank you m'am!"

"Is that right?" means "No s&*("

"That's nice." means "F@#$ you."

[Notmuchlonger]

Quote:

Originally Posted by bbbamI Woo...tough crowd! ...

Sticking my tongue out at someone is like saying "Hi how are you pleasant day isn't it..

[Westernskies]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Khan "Is that right?" means "No s&*(" "That's nice." means "F@#$ you."

My favorite is Good For You!

[bbbamI]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Notmuchlonger Sticking my tongue out at someone is like saying "Hi how are you pleasant day isn't it..

I try to keep my tongue in my mouth.

When I get p.o'd, my eyes get darker and my voice lowers to a whisper.

[Leonidas]

Quote:

Originally Posted by cute fuzzy bunny My wife has a great way of resolving this inner conflict. In her parlance, "M'am" means "bitch" and "Sir" means "jackass". So she'd have just said "Oh...thank you m'am!"

She would make a great cop!

[NW-Bound]

I got to tell this anecdote about an exchange between Winston Churchill and Elizabeth Braddock, a female politician, most likely at a party.

Braddock: "Mr. Churchill, this is a disgrace. You are quite drunk."

Churchill: "And you, madame, are ugly. As for my condition, it will pass by the morning. You, however, will still be ugly."

It appears Churchill got quite a sharp tongue. I would just ignore such remarks, but then I am no politician.

[CuppaJoe]

I'm surprised how many of you say to ignore them, say nothing, not even a sweet, "have a nice life." I've only invoked my right to remain silent once, when I thought I was dealing with violent people. Otherwise I can't seem to keep my trap shut.

On that bus ride after 10 minutes of comments to and at me, staring and pointing because I was hogging two seats, I stood up and offered the young man my seat. He dissolved into pitiful stammering, saying something like, I can't take a seat from you, you are three times my age, you deserve the seat, I don't, you are old.... I then offered it the the first Chinese-speaking guy, he turned it down, as did his friend. So I turned back to the young man, shrugged as if to say, I've run out of people to offer it to. He begged me to sit back down which i did. He then turned his face away and almost pried the front door open to get off at the next stop.

I felt guilty that I had embarrassed him and ashamed of myself that I had stood up to come down to his level. Isn't that Rule No. 3 of Civility 101: avoid doing anything to make someone uncomfortable?

[Nords]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Moemg Normally I would say " No,you were fine " but that day I said " No, but you were in the top ten ". The guy later sent me flowers and apologised .

He was probably just trying to get you to raise your vote to the top three...

[samclem]

Quote:

Originally Posted by CuppaJoe One thing that sticks with me is that "the guy behind the counter" handled the situation in a unique way, picking on OW about the tray and then making a point of getting my food ready first. I think they charge more for food eaten in. Another thing is that in that brief incident, he improved the good will of the business for me and anyone who overheard it.

I'll bet ya a nickel that the guy behind the counter got your food first for two reasons:
1) He wanted the OW to be delayed
2) He wanted to first get your lasagna, then scoop out hers using the freshly meat-covered spatula. If the OW's food left her line of sight at any point while it was being prepared, she may have gotten even more extras.

[NW-Bound]

Quote:

Originally Posted by CuppaJoe On that bus ride after 10 minutes of comments to and at me, staring and pointing because I was hogging two seats, I stood up and offered the young man my seat. He dissolved into pitiful stammering, ... I felt guilty that I had embarrassed him and ashamed of myself that I had stood up to come down to his level. Isn't that Rule No. 3 of Civility 101: avoid doing anything to make someone uncomfortable?

You did the right thing, considering that he kept on badgering you.

Another thing I would have done was to offer to move my luggage to make room for him, which would then reveal the fact that there was simply no room to do that either.

[samclem]

Quote:

Originally Posted by CuppaJoe I wanted to do a variation on Jack Benny's response to "Your money or your life," something like I'll take a shorter life over spending any of it with you but all I could get out was, "I should live so long."

I think you did okay with the reply.

An alternative for the oh-so-healthy OW: (Leaning close to her to say something in confidence) "I'm eating more meat to keep up my strength. This TB really takes a toll!" HACK, Cough.

[haha]

Lot's of good comebacks, but my plan which I stick to really well is keep my damn mouth shut.

Too many people are just itching to go off, and I don't want them going off on me. Guys get killed all the time because they misjudged a situation.

Ha

[laurence]

Quote:

Originally Posted by haha Lot's of good comebacks, but my plan which I stick to really well is keep my damn mouth shut. Too many people are just itching to go off, and I don't want them going off on me. Guys get killed all the time because they misjudged a situation. Ha

Completely agree. No kudos is worth a bullet. DW doesn't get this quite yet, and will still road rage with the best of them. One of our few bones of contention.

[Zoocat]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Leonidas Sometimes I do have to remind myself that the only thing I can control is how I respond.

Sometimes I have to remind myself that the only thing I can control is how I think. How I think about something controls how I respond. I'm sure the nice lady was trying to do you a favor, in her own silly way.

Also, sometimes if I am feeling cranky I will tell myself to go out and silently bless everyone I see. "Bless you and have a wonderful life!" You'd be surprised how it changes your inner atmosphere. And surprisingly it changes how people respond to you, even without a word of exchange.

[ladelfina]

oldbabe, what a refreshing programme.. Even if one doesn't set out to greet the day with such a transforming attitude, I for one can't see how I'd ever have let ObnoxiousWoman get to me as CuppaJoe did.. I'd find it more amusing/bemusing than irritating.

Quote:

"you eat meat!, you're not going to look like me (slim) when you are 71!"

I'd probably just have laughed and said "you're probably right!" It doesn't really matter whether I mean I won't look "as good" as she, or "as bad" as she. Sometimes it is just wiser (and also more fun) to go along with people's delusions or particular hobby-horses.. rather than trying to make them conform to your "norm" or even to a theoretical general "norm".

Just think, if this contretemps had not occurred, CuppaJoe wouldn't have had anything interesting to share with us about his day. I wish it had been wackier.. more outrageous.. Joe.. go frequent some odder places, please!

Italian phrase: "Il mondo e' bello perche' e' vario"... the world is beautiful because it is various.