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Old 12-17-2012, 10:01 PM   #21
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
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Thanks for the great responses and support. Intellectually I accept and deal with probabilities when planning and understand the possibility of death, but emotionally this particular instance is still a shock. I guess I'm obsessing in some ways. I cannot get the Coroner's song from Wizard of Oz out of my mind. (TMI) Strange. But at least I am consoled that my friend would be amused by that.

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Old 12-18-2012, 12:28 PM   #22
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Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Denver
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Sorry about your friend. As you realize, your reaction is normal.

But there are other aspects of your life that are probably more important to address than speeding up/delaying ER. Are you eating well, exercising, getting regular physical exams, being social, interacting regularly with your other friends, your relatives.. the list goes on.

For me, I live like I'm going to die a long time from now, so I try to do the stuff I mentioned above - not always successfully. If I die early, I don't think the stuff I've missed is going to be foremost in my mind at the end. I'll probably just be terrified!

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Old 12-18-2012, 01:25 PM   #23
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Peru
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21 posts, and not very much difference in the thinking. The "AHA" moment of a friend's death seems to begin the process of coming to grips with Mortality. In my case it was at age 36, and it seems like yesterday.

Actual statistics aside, here's an example to think upon:
In 1991, we moved into a (new at the time) Florida small retirement community, which at the time had 176 units. (today, 350)... We kept the original address list of the residents. Since the park was brand new, the average age of the residents at the time, was probably somewhere around 60... (We were 53)... On checking the names of those original residents against the current list, there are only about 25 to 30, still living in the park. Many moved to return to their northern home, many left because the spouse had died, and some just moved to somewhere else in Florida. Out of the roughly 300 original settlers, an estimated 120 have died. Last week alone, we received notice of three current and previous residents who died.
When you are in a small community like that, you personally know just about everyone, if only to say hello. Losing friends and neighbors is no longer a case of sudden shock or incredulity. It still hurts, but in the transition, makes us more aware of our mortality, and more appreciative of the time we have left.

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