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06-04-2017, 12:19 PM
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#21
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Recycles dryer sheets
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: San Antonio
Posts: 371
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I've met with a Neptune Society rep x 2 and am seriously thinking this may be the way for me. Does anyone have any experience with a relative who passed with a Neptune Society plan in place? Any regrets?
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06-04-2017, 12:52 PM
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#22
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: The Beautiful Blue Ridge Mountains
Posts: 2,778
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My dear old dad passed away in March. I thanked him (in person) for pre-paying his expenses a few years before he died, and again afterwards. It certainly took a lot of hassle off of me; being his executor, I've been busy enough with other things.
Just saying it's a good idea for the family, especially.
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06-04-2017, 04:39 PM
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#23
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Recycles dryer sheets
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 143
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We didn't have a great experience with my parents pre-paid funeral plan. When my Dad passed the funeral home claimed my parents hadn't paid for some of the services. My Mom had the original contract and it was eventually worked out, but it was a hassle. Not what you want to have to deal with when you are grieving. Since we knew of the trouble when my Dad passed, my brother and I showed up at the funeral home original contract in hand when our Mom passed. By this time, a different company had taken over. At first they tried to charge us for items already paid for, until we showed them the original contract. They then asked to make copies of it. We agreed, but they were gone a really, really long time with our contract (like 30-45 minutes). We kept asking what was taking so long and they kept giving us excuses. I was really worried, but they finally came back with our contract. Again, not something you want to deal with when you are grieving. I would only pre-pay for Medicaid purposes.
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06-04-2017, 05:20 PM
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#24
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Kerrville,Tx
Posts: 3,361
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LARS
Not to be a wise ass (well maybe a little) I thought the goal was to have the check for the funeral home bounce as the decedent's last earthly financial funds are depleted? Doesn't prepaying go against this Cardinal Rule? :-)
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Note that the funeral director will require a person alive to take responsibility for the bill if not paid after some time (they have to sign when the arrangements are made). So all this does is to transfer the bill to one of the survivors (if there is no one the state will ultimately in many places provide a cremation, increasingly they are doing this since it costs so much less than a burial)
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06-05-2017, 06:46 AM
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#25
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 2,775
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Preplanned is good, I think. So many problems with unplanned. Grief. Panic. Coroner and cops milling around, demanding you make plan "now" for burial or cremation. No one is allowed to recommend any good inexpensive funeral homes, etc. Pressure. Pressure. You're looking through yellow pages, no one answers the phone at the funeral homes, but you can leave a message. Then you find out cremation will cost $3,500. What? That's inexpensive? And the funeral home contract states they will charge you $2,000 to transfer the body to another funeral home. It's all a huge ripoff for the unplanned situations. You find out later you could have had a preplanned cremation for $1,900 at a different funeral home. But $1,900 is way too much also. So weird. Profits must be enormous. Where are these $500 cremations one hears about?
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06-05-2017, 06:58 AM
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#26
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Jun 2016
Posts: 4,655
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sanstar
I've met with a Neptune Society rep x 2 and am seriously thinking this may be the way for me. Does anyone have any experience with a relative who passed with a Neptune Society plan in place? Any regrets?
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My sister passed away and had the Neptune Society plan in place. It was wonderful and based on my experience as her executor I would use them myself.
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06-05-2017, 08:13 AM
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#27
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 7,306
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Brat
Also Costco sells caskets and urns.
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Now there's an area where I did not "Think Costco First"! I just checked and their urns are $90 compared to the $65 ones offered by the local funeral home. A few of Costco's, though, come with matching mini-urns which were $35 at the funeral home.
Quote:
Originally Posted by John Galt III
Preplanned is good, I think. So many problems with unplanned. Grief. Panic. Coroner and cops milling around, demanding you make plan "now" for burial or cremation. No one is allowed to recommend any good inexpensive funeral homes, etc. Pressure. Pressure. You're looking through yellow pages, no one answers the phone at the funeral homes, but you can leave a message.
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Last year both my mother and DH were dying of inoperable cancer and receiving palliative care. Mom died first so I waited till we were back from the road trip to Mom's funeral before visiting our local funeral home and prepaying for DH's cremation. The wait was because I had no idea what would happen if he died while we were on the road 1,000 miles away from home. He died a month later and it was a real blessing to be able to hand the funeral home's card over to the hospice social worker, who took care of it from there. No cops, no coroner. If I have the luxury of advance notice that I'm near the end I'll do the same thing.
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06-05-2017, 08:24 AM
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#28
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Limerick
Posts: 5,633
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sanstar
I've met with a Neptune Society rep x 2 and am seriously thinking this may be the way for me. Does anyone have any experience with a relative who passed with a Neptune Society plan in place? Any regrets?
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My mother used the Neptune Society. I was four hours away when I was notified of her death. By the time I got to the hospital they had already taken her away and I never got to say goodbye. It's what she wanted, to not burden us. But funerals are for the living to say goodbye. I missed that and hated not having the chance.
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06-06-2017, 05:56 PM
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#29
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Recycles dryer sheets
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 483
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If I recall correctly, when cremations first became available, no funeral homes were involved. Catholic churches wouldn't allow there to be services in churches. Bodies were cremated within 24 hours of passing. Then funeral homes and churches realized they were passing up money. Now services are common as "memorials" after the fact. The urn is on display at the memorial. I was at one recently where there was an open casket visitation (embalmed) and then later a cremation. Both my in-laws had Neptune plans and there were no issues. Both had memorial services and the ashes were scattered by family per their wishes. It seems like the funeral homes put a lot of pressure on to have memorials with luncheons etc at a significant additional cost. I signed up for cremation years ago but didn't prepay. The prepay amount has increased twice in that time. I jokingly tell my wife if I outlive her, I will scatter her ashes at Talbotts.
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06-06-2017, 07:13 PM
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#30
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Dryer sheet aficionado
Join Date: Jun 2017
Posts: 33
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I have done some research on prepaid funerals and read that you can lose any funds that you don't use towards the funeral; and that they aren't such a great deal overall. I recently had a negative experience with someone trying to sell me a pre-paid funeral plan and he told me it would cost "80,000 dollars". I know there is no such thing as a funeral that costs that much but he insisted that's what it could cost years from now, and that I should start paying on it now. Always be careful who you are dealing with. He asked how old my dad was, too. That was creepy. He was also preying on my grief as my mother had passed recently. And he acted as though he expected me to write him a check for 80,000 dollars.
Would life insurance money cover some funeral costs, or a burial policy? In my own family, we've decided not to do prepaid funerals. That's just my two cents. I think Costco sells burial caskets. We will make do however we can if and when that time arises. We buried my mom recently and there were no issues.
As with weddings, there is always a cheaper alternative and less expensive way of doing things.
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06-06-2017, 07:17 PM
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#31
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Dryer sheet aficionado
Join Date: Jun 2017
Posts: 33
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Quote:
Originally Posted by John Galt III
Where are these $500 cremations one hears about?
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Someone I know who was indigent, was cremated and her family didn't have money for a funeral, burial or anything else. They agreed to mail her ashes to the family for a small fee, around $50 or so, I believe. The price changes suddenly when the person has no money.
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06-06-2017, 08:22 PM
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#32
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Recycles dryer sheets
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: San Antonio
Posts: 371
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Scuba
My sister passed away and had the Neptune Society plan in place. It was wonderful and based on my experience as her executor I would use them myself.
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Thank you, Scuba.
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06-06-2017, 08:23 PM
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#33
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Recycles dryer sheets
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: San Antonio
Posts: 371
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dash man
My mother used the Neptune Society. I was four hours away when I was notified of her death. By the time I got to the hospital they had already taken her away and I never got to say goodbye. It's what she wanted, to not burden us. But funerals are for the living to say goodbye. I missed that and hated not having the chance.
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Thank you, Dash man. I wouldn't have thought of this.
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06-06-2017, 08:53 PM
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#34
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Moderator Emeritus
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Conroe, Texas
Posts: 18,593
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Quote:
Originally Posted by John Galt III
Where are these $500 cremations one hears about?
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Houston....
Ex-wife's was $865.00 total including picking up the body at the morgue, death certificate, and delivery (to DD) of the urn with ashes.
Neighbor's dad passed two years ago and he got the same deal at a different place for $500.
__________________
*********Go Astros!*********
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06-07-2017, 04:01 AM
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#35
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Jun 2016
Posts: 4,655
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sanstar
Thank you, Dash man. I wouldn't have thought of this.
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I didn't think of this either because we still had a memorial service for my sister where we scattered her ashes so family and friends did feel they were able to say goodbye. For me, viewing the body of a person who has died is not necessary or even desirable. I'd rather remember the person as they were when they were alive. YMMV
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06-07-2017, 09:55 AM
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#36
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Portland, Oregon
Posts: 7,107
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In the west there are pioneer cemeteries now under the care of the counties. A sorority sister of mine found a spot for her urn in one in Portland for a token sum. When my husband's aunt passed he discovered that the family had burial spots in rural Kansas. I think they donated those they couldn't use to a church in the community.
__________________
Duck bjorn.
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06-07-2017, 10:04 AM
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#37
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Kerrville,Tx
Posts: 3,361
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Actually everywhere in the US there are abandoned cemeteries that are left to the county to mow. I know of one in southern IN for example. Let alone talk about small family plots that may or may not exist on any piece of property.
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06-07-2017, 03:24 PM
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#38
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Limerick
Posts: 5,633
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Quote:
Originally Posted by meierlde
Actually everywhere in the US there are abandoned cemeteries that are left to the county to mow. I know of one in southern IN for example. Let alone talk about small family plots that may or may not exist on any piece of property.
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That's why I'll use my veterans benefit to be buried at a national cemetery. They're well cared for and DW can join me in the same piece of ground. Haven't decided on a casket or cremation yet.
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06-07-2017, 06:45 PM
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#39
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Portland, Oregon
Posts: 7,107
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Several years ago I did an HR audit of a Hines Nurseries. They were buying up many small growers and often discovered family plots on the property.
__________________
Duck bjorn.
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06-11-2017, 06:29 AM
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#40
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 5,830
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Both of my parents had prepaid funerals with all details selected and paid. Their wish was for very basic funerals, cremation.
The only item we had to decide was the style of thank you card. The funeral home folks did try to upsell us to expensive coffins which we declned. Their wishes were quite specific.
We will do the same. As an executor, I thank my parents for having wills in place that made the process straightforward for us.
We plan to do the same for our children.
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