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Old 06-15-2017, 04:03 PM   #61
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My family doesn't have the memorial gene. Dad told me to scatter his ashes over his favorite fishing grounds in Jamaica Bay.
The guy who taught me to fly an airplane in 1975 obtained his commercial pilot's license when he was 17 or 18. He said his first commercial flying job was to take a guy out over Chesapeake Bay so he could dump the ashes of a recently departed relative. The airplane was a Piper J-3 Cub and can be flown with the door and window open so it is easy to do in that airplane.

The photo shows one with the window and door open. In the summer it is nice to fly it that way.
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Old 06-16-2017, 09:01 AM   #62
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Not trying to hijack but here's an alternative - donate your body to a med school. In my mother's case the med school said you could choose to have ashes returned to the family or they would bury them in a local cemetery. We had a memorial service for her long before the ashes got back. She would have been happy since she was so proud of taking care of the donation paperwork before she died. Oddly enough, the probate file could not be opened for her estate without a funeral home bill so I had to get a special letter from the med school saying they accepted the body at no charge and no funeral home was used. I also made a $500 or $1000 donation to the med school.
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Old 06-16-2017, 09:23 AM   #63
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DH and I looked into donation when he was terminal but they said they don't accept emaciated bodies; poor DH was over 6 feet tall and weighed 117 at his last doctor's visit. They also want all organs intact except possibly the corneas, so a body with donated organs might not be acceptable.

One oddball donation that might appeal to some people is the body farm in Tennessee; they leave corpses out in various conditions to observe stages of decay. The research helps coroners better determine time of death when a body is found. Not for me, but I'm glad some people are willing.
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Old 06-16-2017, 10:07 AM   #64
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Slightly off topic but we have encountered quite a cultural shift to the whole funeral process in the Islands. "Viewings" are much less common in the Islands and immediate cremation is very common. So "memorials" tend to be the rule - often 3 to 4 weeks following death. Flowers are typically provided by the family - not the friends. Following most memorials (or in some cases, burial service), the family provides a "spread" (typically catered). These spreads tend to be rather elaborate and quantities are copious. So because the family encounters significant expense (beyond the typical funeral expenses) the custom in the Islands is for friends to send or bring a sympathy card with a check or cash inside.
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Old 06-16-2017, 10:15 AM   #65
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The guy who taught me to fly an airplane in 1975 obtained his commercial pilot's license when he was 17 or 18. He said his first commercial flying job was to take a guy out over Chesapeake Bay so he could dump the ashes of a recently departed relative. The airplane was a Piper J-3 Cub and can be flown with the door and window open so it is easy to do in that airplane.

The photo shows one with the window and door open. In the summer it is nice to fly it that way.
A pilot friend of mine was telling about giving a J-3 ride to a another pilot friend - more used to flying "modern" aircraft. At altitude the pilot told his friend to stick his hand out the window and watch the indicated air speed. With hand out the window, the indicated air speed dropped over 5 mph. YMMV

Now returning you to our regularly scheduled program.
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Old 06-16-2017, 10:40 AM   #66
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The only experience I have had with this is with my Mom (technically Grandmother, but she raised me, so she was DM) and she had a pre-paid direct cremation. If I recall, the total cost was about $500...but it was the cremation and a card board box..that's it. My DD has the same plan and that is exactly what they wanted.

My DM told a story of when her Dad died the undertaker told her that a particular casket had a 20 year warranty and she stumped him when she asked if anyone had ever filed a claim. So, even back in the late 50's and early 60's, funerals were a big 'ole racket (at least in her eyes) and she was 100% against spending a significant amount of money disposing of what she deemed essentially carbon-based waste.

As far as I am concerned, I don't care what is done with my remains. I would prefer to not be pumped with chemicals and stuffed into a metal box and once considered cremation to be the best choice. Today, "green" burials (I prefer to call it old-western style) are catching on...so basically the remains are put in a burlap bag or pine coffin and you are buried in a large field with no markers...just wild flowers. That's my style and around here, it's about $1,000.
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Old 06-16-2017, 10:45 AM   #67
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My grandfather retired to FL but had lived in Ohio his entire adult life before that. He was adamant that his remains not be embalmed in FL but shipped to Ohio and cared for the local funeral home the family had always used. Not sure how they managed it or what it cost but Grandpa got what he wanted and is at rest next to his first wife, my Grandma.
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Old 06-16-2017, 10:52 AM   #68
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My grandfather retired to FL but had lived in Ohio his entire adult life before that. He was adamant that his remains not be embalmed in FL but shipped to Ohio and cared for the local funeral home the family had always used. Not sure how they managed it or what it cost but Grandpa got what he wanted and is at rest next to his first wife, my Grandma.
Not sure how long ago that was, but I am fairly certain that today it would be difficult to transport remains across state lines without embalming.
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Old 06-16-2017, 11:11 AM   #69
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Slightly off topic but we have encountered quite a cultural shift to the whole funeral process in the Islands. "Viewings" are much less common in the Islands and immediate cremation is very common. So "memorials" tend to be the rule - often 3 to 4 weeks following death. Flowers are typically provided by the family - not the friends. Following most memorials (or in some cases, burial service), the family provides a "spread" (typically catered). These spreads tend to be rather elaborate and quantities are copious. So because the family encounters significant expense (beyond the typical funeral expenses) the custom in the Islands is for friends to send or bring a sympathy card with a check or cash inside.
Actually with families being spread out world wide now, it makes sense to go direct cremation, and have a memorial service when folks can put the travel arrangements together. More likley to get extended family, and make the memorial service also a family reunion. (I suspect that many folks on the Island have family on the mainland and this makes the travel arrangements easier also.
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Old 06-16-2017, 03:40 PM   #70
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Actually with families being spread out world wide now, it makes sense to go direct cremation, and have a memorial service when folks can put the travel arrangements together. More likley to get extended family, and make the memorial service also a family reunion. (I suspect that many folks on the Island have family on the mainland and this makes the travel arrangements easier also.
Yeah, I didn't mention that this was most of the reason for the long delay. Even burials are often 3 or 4 weeks post death. This is not a problem because of modern techniques of body handling/embalming (It is obviously more expensive than cremation.) Best friend on the Island just buried her mom a few months back. The delay time was over 3 weeks and, you are right, it was so folks could get there (finish up school or get good fares, etc. etc.) In the Islands, it's not just the mainland US that folks tend to travel from. We have lots of folks with family in Japan, China, Australia, the Samoas, RP, etc., etc. Getting folks to the Island for funerals can be a logistical nightmare - not to mention trying to put folks up. We have hosted people in our spare bedroom who traveled to Island funerals. We didn't really know them - just the family. It's considered the Island Way. YMMV
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