The destructive power of denial

[Sarah in SC]

Thanks for the cautionary tales, Rich. I lost a friend who refused to take his high blood pressure seriously and it cost him his life.
I come from a family of people who go to the doctor all the time, so have no such problems seeking preventative care. Mom was a nurse.

 

[Major Tom]

If you're a Doctor and you want to see the Doctor, do you just see yourself?

Thing is - if you weren't following your own advice, you'd know immediately.

 

[Meadbh]

Luckily you can heal yourself, right?

No....I'm a private person, don't like to be prodded and poked, have a secret fear of being judged ("your blood pressure is high, you must have been a bad girl and eaten too many salty foods") and have a secret wish that maybe whatever ails me will just go away. I'm also concerned about the risk of pain and indignity in health care. In other words, maybe I know too much. Or maybe I'm practicing conflict avoidance...

OK you closet Freudians, analyze that!

 

[calmloki]

No....I'm a private person, don't like to be prodded and poked, have a secret fear of being judged ("your blood pressure is high, you must have been a bad girl and eaten too many salty foods") and have a secret wish that maybe whatever ails me will just go away. I'm also concerned about the risk of pain and indignity in health care. In other words, [-]maybe I know too much. Or maybe I'm practicing conflict avoidance...[/-] pretty much like other people.
OK you closet Freudians, analyze that!

FTFY

 

[Rambler]

My sister waited until the lump in her breast was the size of a grapefruit. It was cancer. It was also in her lymph nodes. She went on chemo to reduce the size of the lump before radical mastectomy. Then the surgery. Then radiation. Then reduction surgery on her other breast. Then an implant and reconstruction. Implant got infected because of the scarring from radiation weakening the remaining skin. Surgery to deal with the infection. Got infected again and surgery again to take the implant out and replace some of the radiation damaged skin with skin from her hip. Then surgery again with a new implant.

She has a 17 year old and an 11 year old. I hope they grow up soon, because it would not surprise me if she had a recurrence somewhere. I think it has been about 3 years now since the surgery. Lumps in the breast (or anywhere else) need to be taken seriously.

R

 

[Silver]

I'm not sure it's so easy to discern denial from other issues, such as economics. Even people having health insurance may struggle with meeting deductable and co-pay obligations, so they don't pursue health care intervention. They can't.....and hope to pay for housing, food, and gas.

Health care is currently readily available and affordable only for the wealthy and very poor.

 

[Meadbh]

Health care is currently readily available and affordable only for the wealthy and very poor in the US.

Fixed that for you!

 

[Moemg]

No....I'm a private person, don't like to be prodded and poked, have a secret fear of being judged ("your blood pressure is high, you must have been a bad girl and eaten too many salty foods") and have a secret wish that maybe whatever ails me will just go away. I'm also concerned about the risk of pain and indignity in health care. In other words, maybe I know too much. Or maybe I'm practicing conflict avoidance...

OK you closet Freudians, analyze that!

You need to watch the Movie " The Doctor " with William Hurt .

 

[Meadbh]

You need to watch the Movie " The Doctor " with William Hurt .

I've seen it years ago. Good movie.

 

[Nords]

No....I'm a private person, don't like to be prodded and poked, have a secret fear of being judged ("your blood pressure is high, you must have been a bad girl and eaten too many salty foods") and have a secret wish that maybe whatever ails me will just go away. I'm also concerned about the risk of pain and indignity in health care. In other words, maybe I know too much. Or maybe I'm practicing conflict avoidance...
OK you closet Freudians, analyze that!

Regrettably, this board's medical professionals have succeeded in destroying my cherished illusions of the godlike omniscience of doctors & nurses...

I'm not sure it's so easy to discern denial from other issues, such as economics.

Could it be possible that you're in some denial about that?

 

[John Galt III]

I'm not sure it's so easy to discern denial from other issues, such as economics. Even people having health insurance may struggle with meeting deductable and co-pay obligations, so they don't pursue health care intervention. They can't.....and hope to pay for housing, food, and gas.

Health care is currently readily available and affordable only for the wealthy and very poor.

Even though I could cheaply go to the doctor for various things, since I have health ins through wo*k, I avoid doctors since I do not want to have yet one more pre existing condition on my record which will possibly greatly increase my H.I. premiums if and when I look for private H.I. I keep planning to call a certain local health insurance broker, to get an estimate of what a private policy would cost me, with certain pre existing conds, but am putting that off too.

 

[Mulligan]

These posts have been good reminders to not wish away unexpected lumps, and growths. However I'm sure I will stay hard headed on other health issues. I threw my back out a couple weeks ago, and was bed bound for 2 weeks in agony. GF was furious I wouldn't go to doctor. All I could think of was doctor saying "we better take an MRI on that", which would come straight out of my HSA money. Since time is cheaper than money for me, I gambled, waited it out and won this time, at least.

 

[Koolau]

To an extent I believe doctors can be responsible for a certain amount of patient denial. If they typically blow you off when you mention symptoms, eventually, you may not bother. My last several check ups, I've had to insist that my doctor(s) look at something, perform a test or send me to a specialist. A lesion which my internist said was "nothing" was frozen off by the dermatologist I pretty much insisted upon seeing. The dermatologist said it was at least precancerous (just by looking). One doc wasn't even going to do a DRE (one year since last one). I had to ask for it. DW's arthritis specialist discovered her kidneys were failing (probably) due to NSAIDs. Her prescribing internist had not followed the clear signals shown on routine blood tests over the past 5 years.

Not trying to bad-mouth doctors. Simply pointing out that doctors can help patients be more proactive in their own health. Rushing through an exam and ignoring patient concerns doesn't foster much in the way of patient participation in their own health. Making doctor visits as pleasant and productive as possible could cut down on denial in the future. Just my 2 cents worth.

 

[TromboneAl]

I'm in denial about my GP not being a very good doctor. He really listens, generally takes the time to pay attention, and he's come to be a friend, although I don't see him much. He agrees very much with me concerning things like low carb, avoiding unnecessary tests, and other things.
But it seems that he has consistently made mistakes, and said things that seem downright kooky to me. For example, when I discussed some shoulder pain with him (its all gone now), he talked about replacing the shoulder.

When he first saw my surfer's ear, he thought it was a tumor. A few years later, he looked in my ear and didn't even notice it until I reminded him. He failed to refer Lena to a dermatologist when she asked about what turned out to be basal cell cancer. He thinks that HDL is only influenced by exercise and not diet. His advice on Lena's hyperparathyroidism was not good (based on our 2nd opinion and Internet research). Etc.

So, do I go through the bother of switching to a new doctor? Do I not worry about what he's going to think?

 

[Nords]

I'm in denial about my GP not being a very good doctor. He really listens, generally takes the time to pay attention, and he's come to be a friend, although I don't see him much.
So, do I go through the bother of switching to a new doctor? Do I not worry about what he's going to think?

With friends like these, who needs enemies?

If you switched to another doc, I'm not sure how this doc would know-- except by "not seeing you any more" instead of "not much". How long would it take him to notice?

There's only one way to tell whether his friendship is based on him being your friend, or whether it's based on your being his patient. And if he ever calls you about not seeing you lately, you could tell him that you consider him too much of a friend to put him in the position of being your doctor as well.

I really prefer our neighborhood's medical clinic, which is staffed mostly by residents from the local medical school. They only stay a year or two, and I hardly ever see the same doctor twice, but the care has always been outstanding.

Based on interactions I've had with other single-professional businesses, I'm beginning to think that clinics or group practices offer frequent interaction with others in the field to give the support needed to keep from wandering too far off the beaten path.

 

[Koolau]

So, do I go through the bother of switching to a new doctor? Do I not worry about what he's going to think?

DW finally "fired" her internist. The lady would come in with a lap top and ask questions. I don't think she ever TOUCHED DW!!!!!!!!!!!!! That's in 3 visits. Instead, she took DW's word about her "complaints" and sent her to someone else. $$ChaCHING!$$

I certainly wouldn't worry about what your doc will think. You would do him a favor by being honest why you are "firing" him, but I don't see myself doing that to a friend.

If this doctor will ALLOW you to be your own ADVOCATE, then maybe you can put up with some "incompetence". I put that in quotes, because it may actually be that he is in a hurry as most docs seem to be these days. They want you to come in to fix one "broken" thing. Actual "physicals" are a joke unless you advocate for yourself. Listen to your heart and "on your way"!

Oh, and good luck finding anyone any better. I'm sure they are out there, but you have just as much chance finding one who is not as good. Can't advise you about your doc, but I DO advise you be to YOUR OWN doctor as much as you can. Sounds like you do that already. THEN, don't be embarrassed to demand that the doc does his/her job.

Again, not down on docs in general. Not even the ones I've had issues with specifically. I think medicine, as practiced in the USA, has become like running cattle through a pen. A "good" stockman (aka doctor) will cull the "downer" cows, but everything else goes through. There is no time to check everyone for everything. Again, you gotta be your own advocate!!

 

[Moemg]

So, do I go through the bother of switching to a new doctor? Do I not worry about what he's going to think?

Switch doctors ! I went to an Internist who was very conservative when I first moved to Florida . He refused to give me steroids when I was having an asthma crisis . I almost ended up in ICU . That was his last day as my doctor.

 

[ls99]

DW finally "fired" her internist. The lady would come in with a lap top and ask questions.

I guess laptop are not yet as comprehensive as a Tricorder.

 

[W2R]

I'm in denial about my GP not being a very good doctor. He really listens, generally takes the time to pay attention, and he's come to be a friend, although I don't see him much. He agrees very much with me concerning things like low carb, avoiding unnecessary tests, and other things.
But it seems that he has consistently made mistakes, and said things that seem downright kooky to me. For example, when I discussed some shoulder pain with him (its all gone now), he talked about replacing the shoulder.

When he first saw my surfer's ear, he thought it was a tumor. A few years later, he looked in my ear and didn't even notice it until I reminded him. He failed to refer Lena to a dermatologist when she asked about what turned out to be basal cell cancer. He thinks that HDL is only influenced by exercise and not diet. His advice on Lena's hyperparathyroidism was not good (based on our 2nd opinion and Internet research). Etc.

So, do I go through the bother of switching to a new doctor? Do I not worry about what he's going to think?

Switch! You can do better than that.

I should take my own advice. My internist is not a very good doctor either, IMO. I have to take ALL of the initiative. For example, even though my father died of colon cancer, he never mentioned a colonoscopy to me even once in over a decade. He rushes me through and has way too many patients. He doesn't know any conditions I have or don't have, even with my chart in front of him. I could say more.

Basically I am lucky to have a doctor at all, I suppose. From what I understand, after one gets to Medicare age it is hard to get a new doctor, due to the Medicare fee structure. Or maybe that is just a scary rumor.

 

[ohyes]

This thread struck a deep chord with me.

My dad was diagnosed with colon cancer, Stage IV and the copy of the medical records said he did not see a doctor earlier "because he was afraid it might be cancer".

All three lymph nodes removed during surgery were malignant. The oncologist put his hand on my mom's shoulder and told her he was so sorry. They gave my dad a year "to get his business affairs in order".

That was 16 years ago. Miracles happen--but I certainly learned a lesson from agonizing over that.

Of course, over the years, I know other stories, but this one was huge for our family.

Get to the doctor....as many doctors as it takes.

 

[BOBOT]

I've volunteered at the local free clinic for years as a pharm. tech. It amazes me the number of people who never pick up the free medicines that have been prescribed for them.
Rich, have you seen this?

 

[Rich_by_the_Bay]

I've volunteered at the local free clinic for years as a pharm. tech. It amazes me the number of people who never pick up the free medicines that have been prescribed for them.
Rich, have you seen this?

Noncompliance, more politically correctly termed "nonadherence," is rampant in all populations but perhaps more so in the uninsured (by my personal observation at least). The reasons are often not financial as you point out.

Fear of side-effects? General lack of confidence in health care apparatus? Bad experience in the past now impacting current decision-making? Who knows.