Join Early Retirement Today
Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
Weaning off Ventilator
Old 11-06-2011, 09:54 PM   #1
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
easysurfer's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 7,885
Weaning off Ventilator

My friend is in an long term acute care hospital for respiratory failure. She's been on a ventilator to breath for her pretty much the past two weeks. On Tuesday, the she's scheduled for a tracheotomy, as one can't be on a ventilator too long before there's tissue damage.

Hopefully, with the tracheotomy, it'll only be temporary.

At this point, she is 100% dependent on the ventilator for her breathing. I hope that it won't be a permamnent thing.

The goal is to with the trach, to eventually wean her off the ventilator. I hope that is a realistic goal and just not false optimism given by the doctors to her and her family.
__________________

__________________
Have you ever seen a headstone with these words
"If only I had spent more time at work" ... from "Busy Man" sung by Billy Ray Cyrus
easysurfer is online now   Reply With Quote
Join the #1 Early Retirement and Financial Independence Forum Today - It's Totally Free!

Are you planning to be financially independent as early as possible so you can live life on your own terms? Discuss successful investing strategies, asset allocation models, tax strategies and other related topics in our online forum community. Our members range from young folks just starting their journey to financial independence, military retirees and even multimillionaires. No matter where you fit in you'll find that Early-Retirement.org is a great community to join. Best of all it's totally FREE!

You are currently viewing our boards as a guest so you have limited access to our community. Please take the time to register and you will gain a lot of great new features including; the ability to participate in discussions, network with our members, see fewer ads, upload photographs, create a retirement blog, send private messages and so much, much more!

Old 11-21-2011, 08:43 PM   #2
Recycles dryer sheets
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 150
Your post is now a few weeks old. I hope things have gone well for your friend. And I'm sorry you're in such a sad situation.
__________________

__________________
SkisALot is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-21-2011, 09:05 PM   #3
Recycles dryer sheets
Nova's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 270
Quote:
Originally Posted by SkisALot View Post
Your post is now a few weeks old. I hope things have gone well for your friend. And I'm sorry you're in such a sad situation.
+1
__________________
Nova is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-21-2011, 09:26 PM   #4
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
easysurfer's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 7,885
Unfortunately, things haven't gone that well. She's still on the ventilator. It's sad as usually around Thanksgiving, we'd be planning our turkey dinner. Funny, we'd always say "not gonna get a turkey this year" but always end up doing so.

Thanks for your thoughts.
__________________
Have you ever seen a headstone with these words
"If only I had spent more time at work" ... from "Busy Man" sung by Billy Ray Cyrus
easysurfer is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 11-21-2011, 09:31 PM   #5
Recycles dryer sheets
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 150
Quote:
Originally Posted by easysurfer View Post

Thanks for your thoughts.
They're still with you.
__________________
SkisALot is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-28-2011, 03:32 PM   #6
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
easysurfer's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 7,885
Unfortuately, things have not been better, but worse for my friend since the time I originally posted. Not only is she still on the ventilator, but also her kidneys have failed so she has to go through dialysis.

The past weeks have been tough (especially around the holidays). So many things that I do, and stuff around my place remind me of my friend. Sad -- simple things like enjoying a favorite meal together will probably never happen again.

How do folks get through it (loss of a dear friend, or spouse)?
__________________
Have you ever seen a headstone with these words
"If only I had spent more time at work" ... from "Busy Man" sung by Billy Ray Cyrus
easysurfer is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 11-28-2011, 04:41 PM   #7
Recycles dryer sheets
Nuiloa's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 496
I'm sorry to hear about your friend's ill health. I know how hard it is for everyone. However, people can and do learn to live with trachs. Go to the Johns Hopkins website for all sorts of info on how to live with a tracheostomy (www.hopkinsmedicine.org) Eating and drinking should not be a problem, with care. Heck, they even tell you how you can go swimming!

Don't give up hope. The body is an amazing thing.
__________________
Inside me is a skinny person crying to get out, but I can usually shut the b*tch up with cookies
Nuiloa is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-28-2011, 04:53 PM   #8
Recycles dryer sheets
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: San Diego
Posts: 283
Quote:
Originally Posted by easysurfer View Post
How do folks get through it (loss of a dear friend, or spouse)?
Well, I'm lucky to not have too much experience, but when I was helping a friend with terminal cancer, I picked up a book called Handbook for Mortals: Guidance for people facing serious illness. It really helped with making plans while not giving up hope.

You'll both be in my thoughts.
__________________
meekie is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-28-2011, 06:17 PM   #9
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
Moemg's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Sarasota,fl.
Posts: 10,032
Quote:
Originally Posted by easysurfer View Post

How do folks get through it (loss of a dear friend, or spouse)?
So sorry to hear about your friend . As for getting through a loss only time a lot of time helps !
__________________
Moemg is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-02-2011, 09:22 AM   #10
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
easysurfer's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 7,885
Sad news. I spoke with my friend's family this morning. They will be taking my friend off life support tomorrow as she is getting worse and not better. Originally, they were going to do that today, but wanted me present with my friend. Thanks everyone for your thoughts -- even though I don't know you in person, the support helps.
__________________
Have you ever seen a headstone with these words
"If only I had spent more time at work" ... from "Busy Man" sung by Billy Ray Cyrus
easysurfer is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 12-02-2011, 09:35 AM   #11
Moderator
Sarah in SC's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Charleston, SC
Posts: 13,456
I am so sorry for your loss and I am sure the family appreciates your willingness to be there. It is hard to do.
__________________
“One day your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure it's worth watching.”
Gerard Arthur Way

Sarah in SC is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-02-2011, 09:45 AM   #12
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Nemo2's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Belleville, ONT
Posts: 4,315
Shortly before my late wife died, (lung cancer, she didn't reach her 52nd birthday), her doctor, (more because he was obliged to do so, rather than recommending it, I believe), raised the possibility of placing her on a ventilator.

I told him I'd never do such a thing to her.......if there was even the slightest possibility of a recovery, (which there wasn't), I'd do anything, but I wouldn't artificially induce an imitation of 'life' - he appeared relieved that that was my response.

I then spoke with the 'most rational' of her brothers and said that I'd stick with my decision, but that I'd appreciate it if he'd back me up, should the need arise.

It didn't......when I told her mother she immediately said "Oh God, no, don't put her on a ventilator".

My wife died not too long after.
__________________
"Exit, pursued by a bear."

The Winter's Tale, William Shakespeare
Nemo2 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-02-2011, 11:48 AM   #13
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
bbbamI's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Dallas 'burb
Posts: 9,039
Seems as if the two of you are so fortunate to have found each other.

My thoughts are with the both of you.
__________________
There's no need to complicate, our time is short..
bbbamI is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-05-2011, 08:38 PM   #14
Recycles dryer sheets
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 150
I'm very sorry. Some things that helped me when I lost my beloved Mother and Sister: 1) Grieve, for as long as it takes, no matter what anyone says; 2) Maintain a steady course. Don't make major decisions; 3) When you can't get up out of the chair, tell yourself that if you get up, you can always sit back down, but get up; 4) Keep moving. Take long walks, clean the shower, mop the floor, anything; 5) Eat, anything you can, no matter how much you don't want to. At some point, when you're doing the most mundane activity - walking across the room, unlocking the door - you'll get a glimmer of your "self." Hang on tight to that feeling, and wait for more.
__________________
SkisALot is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-06-2011, 10:42 AM   #15
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
easysurfer's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 7,885
My dear friend passed away Saturday, Dec 3rd. She was a beautiful soul who never failed to see the eyes through the eyes of a child. Her family and I was by her side.

As difficult and sad as it feels for those left behind, I know that was the best choice to set her spirit free.

I'm still getting used to the idea (will take some time, I know) of having to refer to her in the past. It is difficult, for example, shopping for groceries. I'd remember, she wasn't mobile so she would usually shop using one of those motorized carts. We'd work as a team. I'd walk the store (getting my aerobics in) looking for items (bread, deli meat, fruits, etc.) and she'd scoot around on the mortorized cart looking for other goods. We'd separate, then eventually we'd find each other in the store, and of course, buy some potato chips or other snacks for watching TV (TCM-Turner Classics Movies, Bizare Foods, etc.) late at night together. Those simple moments are the ones that I miss.
__________________
Have you ever seen a headstone with these words
"If only I had spent more time at work" ... from "Busy Man" sung by Billy Ray Cyrus
easysurfer is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 12-06-2011, 10:47 AM   #16
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Nemo2's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Belleville, ONT
Posts: 4,315
Quote:
Originally Posted by easysurfer View Post
Those simple moments are the ones that I miss.
When my wife died I thought "There are all those memories, gone forever".....yes, you can relate stories/experiences to other people, but never again can you point at something and say "Look, doesn't that remind you of........?"
__________________
"Exit, pursued by a bear."

The Winter's Tale, William Shakespeare
Nemo2 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-06-2011, 10:51 AM   #17
Moderator Emeritus
Bestwifeever's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 16,373
I'm so sorry to hear this news. Take care of yourself now.
__________________
“Would you like an adventure now, or would you like to have your tea first?” J.M. Barrie, Peter Pan
Bestwifeever is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-06-2011, 10:52 AM   #18
Moderator
MichaelB's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Rocky Inlets
Posts: 24,445
easysurfer, so sorry for your loss. It was good you were there at her side.
__________________
MichaelB is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-06-2011, 11:16 AM   #19
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
bbbamI's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Dallas 'burb
Posts: 9,039
I'm sorry.

I hope sweet memories continue to flood your heart.
__________________
There's no need to complicate, our time is short..
bbbamI is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-06-2011, 11:55 AM   #20
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
easysurfer's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 7,885
Quote:
Originally Posted by bbbamI View Post
I'm sorry.

I hope sweet memories continue to flood your heart.
Thanks. Over the past few days, my heart, mind has been having lots of memories. Amazing how they seem tucked away somewhere until now.
__________________

__________________
Have you ever seen a headstone with these words
"If only I had spent more time at work" ... from "Busy Man" sung by Billy Ray Cyrus
easysurfer is online now   Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


 

 
All times are GMT -6. The time now is 10:48 PM.
 
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.