When You’re Bored Silly in Retirement

[frank]

"What the the requirements? CDL? Anything else?

I've toyed with the idea of doing a little driving for Uber. Frankly it sounds like fun to me. My understanding is you can work as much or as little as you like. I doubt I do it, but who knows."

I have a cdl, but other retired like me don't have. I just drive a regular size van. not step van or cube truck. you can work what days you have available. mostly my job is to take the packages that could not be delivered by regular route drivers for whatever reason ( couldn't find the address, nobody home, etc.) I had 6 deliveries and it took 6 hours and 5 small towns and rural farms, no real pressure, get your list of packages, gas up the van and go. come back when done.

 

[GreySquirrel]

After working most of my life on an acute care psychiatric ward I maintain what I have been saying for years, "I thrive on boredom." or at least a lower level of excitement.

 

[harley]

Any advice on how to get the DW down that path? I think I'll be fine, but she really needs structure that she finds with a job. She retired from Army 22 years ago, then after a year, went to work for school lunch program, retired couple months ago. Now, she went back to work at a local hotel.

How do I help her to find structure without a job?

Structure is overrated, in my opinion. I know some FIREd people maintain a strict schedule in retirement, getting up at the same time every day, making meals at the same time, doing exercises, chores, whatever on a strict(ish) schedule. Going to bed at the same time every night. Great for them if that's what makes them happy. But that's not for everybody.

We have a few things that are scheduled, like exercise classes at the Y or the occasional doctor's appointment. But other than that, we get up when we want to (me sometimes 3-4 hours before she does), eat when we feel like it, do chores when we feel like it, just hang out when we feel like it. Although we do most things together, she goes out by herself if she wants to. So do I. If she feels like working in the garden and I feel like reading, so be it. It's a huge change from having the job related schedule/structure, and it can take some getting used to. But once you've got it, it feels so natural and good you don't know how you could have stood that enforced structured lifestyle.

Reading over this paragraph, I can see that to some people it would appear that we are lazy slugs. But in actuality we tend to be busy most of the time. Just not with a structured schedule. I'd actually like a little more boredom in my life. But there's always something that needs to be done, or that would be fun to do. My to do list is ever growing, even though I do accomplish things on a regular basis.

So my suggestion is, just let it be. Let her retire when she's ready, and don't judge how she deals with it. And don't assume that just because she doesn't do it the same way you do that she's bored and unstructured. If she gets bored, she'll find things to do. Different strokes for different folks. Free advice, and worth every penny.

 

[travelover]

I found w*rk to be extremely boring and unfulfilling. That's why I got out ASAP.

Trust me, there are other j*bs out there that will not give you a chance to be bored. You might want to slit your wrists, but you will not be bored.

 

[HFWR]

Rarely bored, often silly...

 

[antmary]

My "work' is play - at least, for me. I own a business that I am slowly passing on to my kids, and it does my heart good to see it...and them flourish. I find that I need to engage. Do I make money? Yes...but I really do it because it is fun, not because I "have" to.

Work is drudge consciousness - working for someone else, not really wanting to be there.

 

[Moemg]

My "work' is play - at least, for me. . I find that I need to engage. Do I make money? Yes...but I really do it because it is fun, not because I "have" to.

Work is drudge consciousness - working for someone else, not really wanting to be there.

I could not have stated it better that is exactly how I feel about my part time ebay business !

 

[urn2bfree]

When I read an article like this it means as much to me as if someone wrote an article about "What To Do When You Are Tempted to Join ISIS to Wage Jihad." I guess there are people that this problem applies to, but it is so foreign to my life and experience that I simply cannot relate.


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[HFWR]

When I read an article like this it means as much to me as if someone wrote an article about "What To Do When You Are Tempted to Join ISIS to Wage Jihad." I guess there are people that this problem applies to, but it is so foreign to my life and experience that I simply cannot relate.


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Yep, that one is not on the bucket list...

 

[Texconsin]

Washington, Colorado, Oregon, DC...how about Texas?

Avoiding boredom...this is why I grow plants indoors.

Gee; I hope that Texas legalizes it before I retire.

 

[freebird5825]

Gee; I hope that Texas legalizes it before I retire.

Nothing illegal... just flowers, houseplants and greens for salads. I also have potted trees...avocado, Meyer lemon, Celeste fig, dwarf blueberries, and Alberta spruce. These all go outside on my enclosed porch once the frost warnings stop.

I live in the Rust Belt (upstate NY, east of Syracuse), so anything green and growing in the dreary winter is a godsend.

 

[Teacher Terry]

I guess I am in the minority but 6 months after retiring was bored. Now I teach an online college class & do some consulting in my field. To me it feels like the best of both worlds. Unless I have an appointment I get up when I want & go to bed when I want.

 

[Dd852]

I define retirement as "doing only what I want to do (or what DW tells me to do)" not as "doing nothing". With a broad definition, boredom is impossible!


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[ExFlyBoy5]

I guess I am in the minority but 6 months after retiring was bored. Now I teach an online college class & do some consulting in my field. To me it feels like the best of both worlds. Unless I have an appointment I get up when I want & go to bed when I want.

And certainly nothing wrong with that. I'd would venture to guess from your username that you do have a slight connection to your vocation.

Sent from my mobile device so please excuse grammatical errors.

 

[Journeys]

I was a lot more bored during my last few years working than now. I was just a lot busier. Sometimes I think we confuse boredom and lack of busyness. Being busy at w*rk can actually just mask your boredom, it is not a cure for it.

Was talking to a friend recently, he cannot imagine retiring, liked the commute time for thinking, being busy at work, the commute home etc. In my mind I thought he was just covering up a underlying lack of excitement (boredom) with life and being so busy he just didn't have to face it.
...
For me it is pushing myself outside my comfort zone, trying to learn something new, make new friends, and exposing myself to ideas that are a bit different from mine. I am sure everyone is different.

I am much less busy now, and much less bored.

Describes my experiences exactly. Many people I know are still working or retiring and then going back as a contractor or consultant on the same job. No doubt they make a ton of money and its fine if that's what you want to do. For lots of people its their identity. For me I just ran out of things that made me *want* to work where I was. Frankly the direction things were headed bothered me a great deal and I felt like I was almost being an obstructionist. No one ever said I was wrong it was just no one seemed to have the cash or authority to fix things. It was always some mythical they that was making things bad. So it turned exciting important work into busy work. The last few years I had trouble even going to work and worked most of the time at home. So leaving was easier for me.

Time to move on. Not to return in any capacity but to look for new challenges. Early retirement allows me that luxury. It is a luxury. Lots of people have obligations and things in their life that doesn't easily allow for it. I had some great advice very early in my career that has paid off.

I look at life as a banquet table. Lots to try. I always described myself as a "jack of all trades, master of nothing". So now I have returned to that summer vacation I had as a very young boy that allows me to do as I please. Even if its just mowing my lawn and reading under the tree all day. Someones busy maybe be someone passion or desire. I think what ever you do is great.

By the way I retired 01/02/2015, last Friday. I just found this group. I am oddly enough nervous about all of this. I did leave a lot of money on the table. But I came to the conclusion I can't buy time. It does kind of feel like just starting out again. Anyway, hope to 'steal' great ideas and advice from all of you. (sorry for the long winded ramble)

 

[Redbugdave]

Welcome Journeys!

Well written! We think alike. And it was the same for me, too. I am coming up on being retired for one year, now. And each month is wonderful.

 

[jimbo14]

+1 to both Journeys & Redbugdave. My one-year anniversary is Jan 30th and I'm enjoying my "new life" with more vigor than I had in any of my last few years at w*rk.

 

[freebird5825]

...I look at life as a banquet table. Lots to try. I always described myself as a "jack of all trades, master of nothing". So now I have returned to that summer vacation I had as a very young boy that allows me to do as I please. Even if its just mowing my lawn and reading under the tree all day. Someones busy maybe be someone passion or desire. I think what ever you do is great.

Well said.

Once I decompressed from the high achiever c*reer thing, I've returned to many simple pursuits that there was "never time for" when chasing the paycheck. Low stress type of stuff when I damn well feel like doing it.

You're off to a great start.

 

[Teacher Terry]

Flyboy- my retirement teaching at uni actually is a new vocation for me that I love. I also consult in my previous human service work. I think one reason I am not sick of working is that I came to my career later in life. I was a SAHM, then went to college & into my field so was 40 by the time I was working f.t. I worked for the state & was not sick of the work but rather the 8-5 thing, all the rules, bureucracy, etc. Also I do most of my work from home except for when I need to meet with clients.

 

[Sea Kayaker]

The more I hang around various ER-related forums the more it is evident that ER isn't for everyone...and a downright bad idea for some. It shocks me when I read about people for whom their jobs were their primary IDENTITY...their LIVES. I am just glad I managed to cultivate a litany of interests outside of my job that I could immerse myself in once I ER'ed. I hang around the MMM forums a fair amount and see people obsessed with the "idea" of ER...but likely have no idea of how to handle the "reality" of ER.

 

[Teacher Terry]

My Mom had no problem filling her time when she retired at 59 but had a lot more hobbies then I do. She also enjoyed going to many senior events/speakers etc on a regular basis. work was never my entire life. For a large part it was raising my kids, then going to college to get 4 degrees & then finding a career I loved. Now it is hiking, going to movies, good restaurants, travel & work. I love being able to decide each day what I want to do-not what I must do. I agree with SK that many will be unpleasantly surprised when they reach their goal & decide it is not for them. But most are young so will go back to work or maybe just p.t. I think it may also be different for people that go to college right out of HS, get job & work for many years. I was used to having a flex schedule when raising kids, going to college etc so was not chained to a desk for as many years as many people are.

 

[Walt34]

I am oddly enough nervous about all of this. I did leave a lot of money on the table. But I came to the conclusion I can't buy time. It does kind of feel like just starting out again. Anyway, hope to 'steal' great ideas and advice from all of you. (sorry for the long winded ramble)

It is a big change and it does take a while to adjust - for some that time is a matter of seconds, for others a year or more. But almost invariably the change is for the good.

Like many I also left a lot of money on the table, and we wondered for while whether that was a wise thing to do. Six months later when my sister said "You two look more relaxed than I've seen you in years" we knew we had made the right choice and we stopped wondering.

 

[ExFlyBoy5]

Flyboy- my retirement teaching at uni actually is a new vocation for me that I love. I also consult in my previous human service work. I think one reason I am not sick of working is that I came to my career later in life. I was a SAHM, then went to college & into my field so was 40 by the time I was working f.t. I worked for the state & was not sick of the work but rather the 8-5 thing, all the rules, bureucracy, etc. Also I do most of my work from home except for when I need to meet with clients.

That does make sense. I can relate..to a point. I did in fact enjoy my j+b and if not for the BS that was increasing at an alarming rate, I would have probably done it indefinitely. I fully acknowledge that when I see my former aviation buddies fly over the house coming or going to the flight test area, I get a very slight tinge of...I guess jealousy. I certainly do miss that part...and if I could have figured out a way to fly, and only fly (no more than a few times a month) I would have done that no questions asked. But...that wasn't possible so now when they cruise over the house, I smile and raise my glass to those their service.

Sent from my mobile device so please excuse grammatical errors.

 

[CaliforniaMan]

Describes my experiences exactly. Many people I know are still working or retiring and then going back as a contractor or consultant on the same job. No doubt they make a ton of money and its fine if that's what you want to do. For lots of people its their identity. For me I just ran out of things that made me *want* to work where I was. Frankly the direction things were headed bothered me a great deal and I felt like I was almost being an obstructionist. No one ever said I was wrong it was just no one seemed to have the cash or authority to fix things. It was always some mythical they that was making things bad. So it turned exciting important work into busy work. The last few years I had trouble even going to work and worked most of the time at home. So leaving was easier for me.

Time to move on. Not to return in any capacity but to look for new challenges. Early retirement allows me that luxury. It is a luxury. Lots of people have obligations and things in their life that doesn't easily allow for it. I had some great advice very early in my career that has paid off.

I look at life as a banquet table. Lots to try. I always described myself as a "jack of all trades, master of nothing". So now I have returned to that summer vacation I had as a very young boy that allows me to do as I please. Even if its just mowing my lawn and reading under the tree all day. Someones busy maybe be someone passion or desire. I think what ever you do is great.

By the way I retired 01/02/2015, last Friday. I just found this group. I am oddly enough nervous about all of this. I did leave a lot of money on the table. But I came to the conclusion I can't buy time. It does kind of feel like just starting out again. Anyway, hope to 'steal' great ideas and advice from all of you. (sorry for the long winded ramble)

Welcome to the group Journeys! I just retired last April 1st, and it was "oddly nervous" for me as well. This forum was a big help to me, especially reading all the comments from the long timers here. My retirement was not as early as many of the people here, but it is all relative I guess. I had actually never really planned to retire, although I had always saved for it.

My life and identity was pretty much tied to my work, which I mostly found gratifying until as you put it they changed, "exciting important work into busy work." And the BS was growing at the same time as my capacity to absorb it was decreasing. After these 9 months retired I cannot imagine going back to the grind no matter how much was offered. Good luck and I am sure you will enjoy your new journey!

 

[Focus]

I am oddly enough nervous about all of this. I did leave a lot of money on the table. But I came to the conclusion I can't buy time.

Many of us leave major money on the table, since ER often means retiring during one's prime earning years. But, like you say, you can't buy time.

Here's one surprise for me, four months into ER: the nervousness related to the financial side is nearly entirely gone. I didn't expect that. It's not due to the bull market -- it's more my realizing that I can live with less, if necessary. I'm glad I avoided the OMY trap.