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Old 06-01-2016, 11:25 AM   #101
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that's why I try and fly first class when I can
When my late wife had a contract with Air France in Saudi, our free tickets (paper tickets at that time), were always stamped "Upgrade if Available", so we invariably flew first class, (so much so that the cabin crew on one flight recognized us).......very nice......but not on my dime.

Another reason why we like repositioning cruises.....if someone 'spills over' in their cabin, they don't encroach on ours.

Otherwise.....flying...I hate it.
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Old 06-01-2016, 11:32 AM   #102
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Awesome, honest post from someone who lives with the thread topic.

The relative who hip-checked me at the funeral? She was the most militant fat person I have ever met. According to her, doctors should just treat her and stop lecturing her about weight, because her weight was her business. (Well, it is, except when a doctor makes it his or her business). She controlled her Type II diabetes, high cholesterol, blood pressure with her "meds." She ate whatever she wanted, refused to exercise, and was always talking about how fat women are more beautiful and sexy than thin ones; all they need is to be confident and wear the right clothes. Well, she had a point about that, right up until she didn't. She is now in her 60's.

What happened next is that her heart, which she'd always thought was somehow immune, developed a problem that could kill or permanently disable her. When she really, truly came to fear that she might die or become seriously disabled, she started taking doctors seriously. She has been on a very smart diet (diet-meal deliveries, plus tons of fresh vegetables, and no added sugar or sugary foods) since New Year's, has lost a quarter of her body weight, is looking like a new person and truly seems serious about never going back to her unhealthy habits.

I am careful never to tell someone "If so-and-so can do it, you can do it too" because we are none of us alike. I only tell this story because there are certain similarities between my relative's story and the one you have told us. You "don't care," but maybe that only means you aren't scared enough - yet. I wish you and your family the best.

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I am reading this thread with interest because I am fat. Not just fat but morbidly obese. My BMI doesn't even show up on the charts because I am so far off the chart. I resemble quite a few comments that have been posted.

I hate to fly because yes, I am to fat to fit in one seat. I very rarely fly, I can see people at the airline gate with fear in their eye because I might be the one sitting next to them. I always try to be sat next to an empty seat but that is not always available, I always apologize to the person sitting next to me or try to be humorous by saying, "looks like you won the seat lottery". Again, I don't fly, now it is only once a year to my annual managers meeting and the megacorp I work for springs for two seats or a first class to make my flight more comfortable.

I am in healthcare so it is ironic that I am so fat and know the health issues that come with being so fat. I think that part of the reason I have been so lackadaisical about my size is that I 'no longer cared' and worked my way around to living with my size. I only eat out out places that have tables, because I can't fit in a booth, I go to specific movie theaters because I know their seats are big enough and are comfortable. I think good genes have also helped me not care. I am 48 years old now and I have just barely developed issues that should have hit me 20 years ago. I am now having blood pressure that is in the high normal range, high triglycerides and my last A1c had just pushed me into pre-diabetic, my fasting blood sugar was always below 100, etc. I stand on my feet all day and have starting to have some ankle issues, all this should be enough to get me to take action. But it hasn't.

You'd think that I would be even more concerned about staying healthy because we are saving our money to retire early. As previously mentioned in a post, I think/plan/hope that when I early retire I will find the time to eat right and exercise, but what if I die before then, what a waste.

Medical costs are funny because I see many, many regular size people that put my medical costs to shame, I am not even in the 5% ball park of some average sized (and younger) people with diseases such as diabetes, HBP, IBS, crones disease, the list goes on an on that doesn't even scratch the surface of HIV, cancer, transplant, stoke, heart attacks. These all have consequences on the thin and fat alike.

Sex is a no go, can't really blame the wife for not wanting to get it on with a 450 pound man, but we did get 4 kids over the years (damn fed ex man). I guess I like to be fat more than I like sex.

Funny thing is when people see me eat or eat with me they are surprised by the normal amount I eat. They assume I put away 3 extra large big mac meals. That is not the problem, the problem is that I always eat. I can't remember the last time I had hunger pangs or what they even feel like. I seem to be nibbling on something at all times, usually something sweet, m and m's, kit kats, peanut butter cups, I was drinking 8 cans of pepsi a day (I have cut that out). I guess I am just selfish that way because I don't/didn't care if I died early, how would that effect my wife and kids? Didn't care.

I have even had my own bias against the obese. I see them come in with their medicaid card and I think 'my taxes are paying for your medical because you're too fat and lazy to get a job or paying for your food stamps or disability'.

I'm embarrassed when I go grocery shopping because when I am unloading my cart on the belt the majority of items are sweets and fats. Ice cream, chips, candy, not just one or two but 4 or 5 bags of each. I don't eat oranges because I am too lazy to peel them, it isn't worth the work.

I live a sad life.

Last note as re-reading this brings tears to my eyes. About 3 years ago my brother and his wife were celebrating their 50th bday and invited 20 couples to go to the virgin islands and rent a VRBO mansion with them. My wife and I went and luckily had a three seat row on the plane with only the two of us so no problems going down. On the way back the plane was packed. My wife sat next to the window and I sat in the middle seat (my wife is overweight, probably due to my eating habits) but usually I can park my fat ass on her side of the chairs to the 3rd person doesn't have to sacrifice their room. Well, the gentleman (and I use that word loosely) that sat next to me was a prick. I could tell he wasn't happy about the accommodations as he got up more than once to talk to the flight attendant and I did hear them say "full flight". While I had the arm rest up, he said he had to have it down, ok it was doable. During the 4 hour flight I pretty much scrunched up so my seat mate could have his room. He was able to put down his tray, eat his chips, watch his movie, listen to headphones, even take a nap and at the end of the the flight he had the nerve to tell me that I should buy two seats next time because he was so uncomfortable during the flight. Yet at no time did our bodies 'touch' and he was more than able to accomplish everything he needed/wanted to do during the flight. What an asshat.
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Old 06-01-2016, 11:36 AM   #103
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While "petite" clothes are generally marketed to "petite" women (like my Mother who was 5 feet 1.5" and weighed 105)
DW is 5'1" and ~ 100 lbs, and she agrees with you and Audrey......so I'm 'forced' to concede.......problem is, since I'm only partially literate, and a somewhat obdurate purist, I have difficulty embracing what I perceive as conflicting definitions for the same word.

I'll go stand in the corner with my head hung now.
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Old 06-01-2016, 11:40 AM   #104
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Petite means short for at least 40 years. If it means something else before that I don't know. I think it's a polite way to describe somebody short. Same as curvy is to describe somebody plum. I'm in this category so I know. Curvy petite.
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Old 06-01-2016, 11:41 AM   #105
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Well, I'm rooting for you. I get the impression the average person is more empathetic to the recovering alcoholic or substance abuser than to the person who needs to come to better terms with the "substances" we all must consume to live. Why is that?? You can't just stop eating (I almost said you can't stop eating cold turkey, and then I realized that sounds funny). And for someone who's out of shape, starting exercise can be torture and probably feels scary.

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Ronnie, thank you for your honest post. I'm fat, too, and have had those awkward times on airplanes, especially when I've traveled with a good friend who is heavier than I am.

I have had a fairly sunny disposition for most of my life, but as midlife hit, I began suffering with some debilitating depression, for the first time, and that has contributed to my lack of motivation to take care of myself, hence a substantial weight gain in the past several years. I'm trying to solve that now, and hope that I will be able to return to a healthier weight. It's hard, and if you haven't walked a mile in the shoes of someone else, you have no idea how hard. Empathy is pretty damn hard to come by these days.

I hope that you will consider if depression or other such issues might be a part of your current habits, as I believe they are mine. And best wishes in battling the asshats of the world! Again, thanks for your honest and forthright post.
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Old 06-01-2016, 12:04 PM   #106
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And new pet owners!
And new homeschoolers, and new vegans/gluten-free eaters!
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Old 06-01-2016, 12:21 PM   #107
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Ah, the joys of travel by flying. "Experiences, not things", I suppose.

Not my cup of tea, but YMMV.
lol, my sister & bIL hate to travel, they spend most of their disposable income on their two homes. which of course means they also get the required criticism of having a "useless" megamansion. and how everyone else is so superior because they have "experiences"

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Old 06-01-2016, 12:21 PM   #108
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DW is 5'1" and ~ 100 lbs, and she agrees with you and Audrey......so I'm 'forced' to concede.......problem is, since I'm only partially literate, and a somewhat obdurate purist, I have difficulty embracing what I perceive as conflicting definitions for the same word.

I'll go stand in the corner with my head hung now.
You can join DH who occasionally has given me clothes that are in my size, but with a P for Petite following the number. I don't often wear a waistline just below my armpits, bu that's where these clothes always fit me. I'm 5'7" when I stand perfectly straight, not supertall, but not a clothing Petite by any means.
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Old 06-01-2016, 12:33 PM   #109
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I don't often wear a waistline just below my armpits, bu that's where these clothes always fit me.


DW says that, with a 'Small' top, her waistline is around her hips.
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Old 06-01-2016, 12:37 PM   #110
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I'm scratching my head about something. Many times a man has sat next to me who was athletically built. Even though the man had very little fat, he had muscles and broad shoulders. Also, such men seem to need the use of all arm rests. They do not fit in the seats and require the person next to them to lean away to make room for their enormous shoulders and arms, especially if they get the center seat.
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Old 06-01-2016, 01:00 PM   #111
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I'm scratching my head about something. Many times a man has sat next to me who was athletically built. Even though the man had very little fat, he had muscles and broad shoulders. Also, such men seem to need the use of all arm rests. They do not fit in the seats and require the person next to them to lean away to make room for their enormous shoulders and arms, especially if they get the center seat.
that's why I try and sit in the window seat
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Old 06-01-2016, 01:14 PM   #112
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I actually point the finger at the airlines for this. The continual shrinking seats mean more problems that have to be negotiated by the passengers.

Nowadays , the percentage of cranky people in the air is much higher then in real life on the ground and seems to be getting worse.I was in an aisle seat and had a guy in the window say and I quote.."That's my wife in the aisle across from you, You NEED to switch seats with me.I replied No Thanks (now why did I add the work Thanks) I'm good here.MY DH is sitting next to the jerk and now it's uncomfortable..So I told the guy's wife, if you want to sit by your hubby my husband will switch and take your seat.

The switch happened and on the first pass thru the cabin the guy ordered 2 bloody marys..can you make those a double?, as the crew made the return pass for trash, his wife ordered a double and he ordered "just one more". His wife promptly put her drink on his table, that's 8 shots in case you are counting. He then virtually passed out in his seat and I thought Thank God I didn't have to try and evacuate my seat and jump over your drunk @ss.

Anyway flying sure isn't fun anymore.
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Old 06-01-2016, 01:20 PM   #113
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Good question.. especially since almost everyone has a negative.. can you imagine if people nonstopped judged you for that? oh wait they probably do..so you pick on the next one for the flaws you don't have...seems about right... such a negative of society.

iie if your too thin your anorexic and if your too fat, your lazy
If your too smart your a nerd, if your not smart enough, your dumb.. etc etc etc. Kind of the goldilocks syndrome..because no one can just be happy for other people.


Though being fat of course is one of those odd things in which is 100% blamed on the person, yet we all know the people that eat like crap and don't gain and ounce (often good metabolism or good genes given credit)..yet bad metabolism or bad genes is not an acceptable excuse if your not thin...its a very odd thing to me.

Some people blame our health insurance crisis on obesity, those people I guess feel they have the right to complain... the person squeezed next to you on a roller coaster or airplane seat may feel the need to complain about you being overweight.. and thus taking up too much space.. yet do we complain just as much for the tall guy that knees your seat constantly as they can't fit properly in the seat?

Reality is that given everyone has their own challenges, the old adage of don't judge lest you be judged is what I try to follow. Its their life, they will live it however they want.
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Old 06-01-2016, 02:29 PM   #114
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I actually point the finger at the airlines for this. The continual shrinking seats mean more problems that have to be negotiated by the passengers.
Seats are definitely getting smaller. When I travel alone I usually move to accommodate families. When not alone my wife sits on the aisle and I sit on the window. The poor person who sits in the middle always asks if we want to switch with him/her. My wife is 5'6" 120 and she hates sitting next to me on the plane (go figure) so we never move when we are traveling together.

She's also good at passing my drinks across the poor middle seat person.
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Old 06-01-2016, 02:33 PM   #115
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I actually point the finger at the airlines for this. The continual shrinking seats mean more problems that have to be negotiated by the passengers.

<snip>
Anyway flying sure isn't fun anymore.
Which is a large part of why I haven't been on a commercial flight for over ten years. Now, say "private airplane" and I'm all over it because I do like flying. Just not on a crowded bus with wings.
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Old 06-01-2016, 02:40 PM   #116
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Which is a large part of why I haven't been on a commercial flight for over ten years. Now, say "private airplane" and I'm all over it because I do like flying. Just not on a crowded bus with wings.
I hope you don't have to go on one soon, because the difference between now and 10 years ago is almost light years, ten years ago one could almost "enjoy" flying.
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Old 06-01-2016, 03:13 PM   #117
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I have just about given up airline travel due to the aggravation these days. I have been a very frequent business traveler for 35 years and it is astounding how bad things have become (as most of us know). So here's the lowdown on the airline seat situation and a link to the good article that explains airline's policies:

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Safety regulations from the U.S. Federal Aviation Administration (FAA) mandate that passengers must be able to lower their armrests and sufficiently buckle and fasten their seat belts. However, the average seat width for a domestic economy flight ranges from 17 to 19 inches between the armrests. So what happens when you can’t fit in the seat? According to the U.S. Department of Transportation (DOT), airlines are not required by law to provide additional seating or an upgrade in the event additional space is required for a passenger.
https://www.cheapair.com/blog/travel...g-this-summer/
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Old 06-01-2016, 03:31 PM   #118
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I have just about given up airline travel due to the aggravation these days.
I'm sure the airlines have run the numbers but one has to wonder if they have considered how many customers they've lost and will lose because of the lousy service.
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Old 06-01-2016, 03:34 PM   #119
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I'm sure the airlines have run the numbers but one has to wonder if they have considered how many customers they've lost and will lose because of the lousy service.
actually, last two times I flew delta I had great service, even gave them a few great reviews - I flew first class tho

southwest isn't bad either - free bags plus you get free drinks sometimes - best thing is I just get on the plane early, grab a window seat, crack up the armrest and sprawl out sideways, no one will sit next to me unless it's a full flight
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Old 06-01-2016, 03:42 PM   #120
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I'm sure the airlines have run the numbers but one has to wonder if they have considered how many customers they've lost and will lose because of the lousy service.
Most people have not flown over 2 million miles like I have (1 million + on one airline) since 1980. The average traveler does not know what good service used to be like. I'm sure the airlines know this and factor that thinking into their business plans.

Just look at the massive amount of extra fees that they started charging for all kinds of goodies (free checked bags, food, drinks, etc) with no regard for customers' complaints. Heck, they moved the seat size width down to 17" to squeeze three across and then added a few 20" wide seats and started charging extra ($50+) for those "upgraded" seats. Joke!

Once you fly an airline in coach like Lufthansa you will know the difference, but many people don't fly overseas.
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