Why I'd never retire to the third-world: Facebook husband death

[Meadbh]

The Palmasola is an exclusive private residence club "at" (meaning next to) the Four Seasons. Current rates are $11,500 per night.

Palmasola - Your Own Private Paradise - A Luxury Villa Rental in Punta Mita Mexico

The website doesn't say how many villas there are, but probably no more than 100 in a lush complex. The private gym would not have any onsite staff. It makes you wonder whether a CCTV would have been helpful in alerting staff to the problem.

My guess is that he had a heart attack, a seizure, was dehydrated, or just slipped, fell and hit his head, and became unconscious either due to a concussion or a rapidly advancing epidural hematoma. It appears he also lost blood externally. If he died due to exsanguination, it must have taken some time. Being unconscious, his airway could have been obstructed.

IMHO this could have happened anywhere. The exclusivity of the resort (all alone in the private gym) likely contributed to his death. I myself own a fraction of a villa at a (less exclusive than that) resort in Canada, and we have a private gym with a view, which you usually have all to yourself.

[NW-Bound]

Lack of good medical care in a third-world country is a true hazard, but the story of this Facebook executive's husband is hardly an example of that. He could have fallen off his threadmill in his Palm Spring, Beverly Hills, or Mercer Island mansion in the same way, and died before getting found.

And then, one may die from an acute illness in the USA if not being near a metropolitan area with the right specialists and equipment when it happens.

A few years ago, my son came down with a rare infection that was misdiagnosed as a flu, then as a kidney infection before they found the true source of his high fever and abdomen pain: a weird liver infection. He was in pain, and had seizures from the fever until they finally found the cause. Who knows, but another day of delay and it could cost him his life. Doctors were able to treat him with the right antibiotics once they knew, but they never knew how that bacteria got into him.

[brewer12345]

I expect that I take my chances when out in the woods hunting by myself with nobody around for a mile or more. If I fall over and die, so be it. If I just break an ankle or something I have survival gear and hopefully after a while someone comes to find out what all the gunfire is about.


So do we have to listen to this "Lean In" bullcrap any more?

[athena53]

Quote:

Originally Posted by robnplunder Some people are not afraid to live.

I agree- one of the best parts of my career was working with people in India. Yes, the poverty is awful, but when you're there training and mentoring the locals you feel like you're doing something to make a difference. The food, the colors, the history, the people... I'm still connected with a ton of them on LinkedIn and FaceBook. I hope to go back someday. I took malaria pills and was careful about what I ate (mostly vegetarian, no street food) and had only one bad episode of intestinal issues and was there 6 times at least.

I did get stung by an unfamiliar insect in my room in Jaipur and removed the stinger from my foot immediately but wondered, what if... The next morning I talked with my coworkers and, since the corpse of the offending critter was still in my room, I showed it to them. They said that it was a relative of the honeybee and I'd probably live. They were right.

[6miths]

Agree with the above sentiments. Would not exchange my years in Africa and the middle east for anything that comes to mind. Much of the time spent with 4 young children in tow. Priceless experiences. If it's your time, it's your time. In the meantime, live large!

[MRG]

Brewer12345,
+1
I used to be able to hunt on our 20 acres, surrounded by about 1000 acres of crops and woody guts. One year my season is only about 10 minutes long.

As I'm dressing the deer some jackwad with a semiautomatic starts flying lead 10' above my head. Jackwad didn't think the 5 round mag limit applies to him, he's using a 20. You know it's a war with the deer.

He could have killed me 150 yards from my front door! DW is still sleeping, I wouldn't wanted her having to find me.



🐑

[Rick_Head]

Quote:

Originally Posted by soupcxan .................. but if I have a medical emergency I sure want to be in a developed country. ...............

I sure don't want to be in the US with an expired/maxed-out credit card. That's my worst medical nightmare.

[explanade]

Not to pile on the grieving widow but yeah, what is the point for a successful tech executive to write some book telling women how to be successful.

Her path isn't exactly repeatable. How many executives anywhere become billionaires in their 40s.

What is her book saying, that she asserted herself at some point and became ridiculously successful so there's a lesson for other women?

Story is that she had a mentor and she impressed Zuckerberg in an informal interview.

FB would be huge whether or not he hired her. Zuckerberg is apparently generous. He gave stock to Sean Parker and stock worth hundreds of millions to a graffiti artist to decorate the lobby.

Maybe she's planning to run for office some day. Meg Whitman had one of the largest self-funding political campaigns and Carly Fiorina won't go away, even though nobody supports her.

[daylatedollarshort]

Quote:

Originally Posted by explanade That was a couple that could have ER'd a long time ago. Maybe they could only go to Mexico because one or both had to be near work. In some of the articles, they talk about how they divided home labor. They could easily afford live-in help, though she said she was doing more of the child care than she thought she should carry. Of course, nannies can take care of that but then she wouldn't really be parenting either. She's worth billions and while she has a very important position, it's for an ad company, not some enterprise which is making the world better -- in fact, some would argue FB makes the world worse.

I was sorry to hear about her husband but I'm not a fan of the book. Most women don't have a fleet of nannies and household help for support to lean in and work those long hours. They can't schedule business meetings and business dinners for after 8pm when the kids go to bed, because their kids are older and their moms are helping them with science projects, doing laundry, going grocery shopping or making lunches for the next day. And for those working in the South Bay many will have long commutes to affordable housing with good schools. I am more of a Lean Out / Downshift type myself.

[BTravlin]

Quote:

Originally Posted by brewer12345 Hmmm, a few years ago Dad fell in the Riviera Maya and hit his head badly. Concussion, bleeding in the brain, the whole enchilada. They took him to a local hospital, stabilized him as best they could, then transferred him to a big time hospital in Cancun. 5 year old hospital built to top shelf international standards, any and every possible thing available, specialists out the wazoo. A few days in intensive care and another 10 days on site to make sure he could travel home. First class everything. Stateside doctor said there was literally nothing better they could have done for him. Depends where you are and how much you can pay.

We have an internationally accredited hospital here on the island that is very good for most issues but most people go to the Cancun hospital for the really serious stuff. Cancun is only a 10 minute flight away. A friend of ours was treated there last year for blood clots in the leg and received excellent care.

As for not traveling to third world countries, I can't imagine limiting myself in that way. I'll take my chances.

[rodi]

The term third world, used in the title, has more to do with cold war terminology that socio economics.

When the terms were first used the "western" industrialized nations were first world, east block communist countries were 2nd world, and everything else was 3rd world.

So all of Asia was considered 3rd world - including Japan, Hong Kong, etc.

All of South America was considered 3rd world - including places like Panama City, Buenos Aires, etc.

The terms have always bugged me.

[photoguy]

Quote:

Originally Posted by BTravlin As for not traveling to third world countries, I can't imagine limiting myself in that way. I'll take my chances.

+1

I have no desire to retire in less developed countries but I do enjoy traveling there.

Have taken some stupid risks (seemed ok at the time) though like pushing too hard at high altitude hiking and wandering blindly around not realizing there were cobras around. Will definitely try to be more careful in the future.



Sent from my Nexus 5 using Early Retirement Forum mobile app

[Sarah in SC]

Also not exactly a fan of Lean In, though I am sad to hear of her loss. He sounded like a good guy. The Lean In stuff is part of the whole pitched battle between women that we seem so good at doing: moms against the childfree, working vs SAHM, breastfeeding and not. Tough crowds. Her privileged perspective is pretty clueless, especially when contrasted with a single mom juggling childcare and flexible hours-type jobs, without benefit of spouse, nanny, and other in-home help. The reality for most women is much, much less starry than Lean In would have you believe.

[daylatedollarshort]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sarah in SC Also not exactly a fan of Lean In, though I am sad to hear of her loss. He sounded like a good guy. The Lean In stuff is part of the whole pitched battle between women that we seem so good at doing: moms against the childfree, working vs SAHM, breastfeeding and not. Tough crowds. Her privileged perspective is pretty clueless, especially when contrasted with a single mom juggling childcare and flexible hours-type jobs, without benefit of spouse, nanny, and other in-home help. The reality for most women is much, much less starry than Lean In would have you believe.

I think Lean In takes a blame the victim approach. In my experience in the Bay Area IT management world it is the salaried jobs with long commutes to get to affordable housing out in the 'burbs, not being allowed to work from home at all or enough, a lot of jobs with travel, long hours expected at work, installing IT systems at night and weekends, dealing with customers or coworkers in time zones all over the planet, and often being on call 24 by 7 that are the problems that conflict with raising kids. I went into contract work from home. Problem solved for me. Leaning out worked better.

I didn't want to keep working more hours than a medieval serf -

Why a medieval peasant got more vacation time than you

"... economist Juliet Shor found that during periods of particularly high wages, such as 14th-century England, peasants might put in no more than 150 days a year....As for the modern American worker? After a year on the job, she gets an average of eight vacation days annually. It wasn’t supposed to turn out this way: John Maynard Keynes, one of the founders of modern economics, made a famous prediction that by 2030, advanced societies would be wealthy enough that leisure time, rather than work, would characterize national lifestyles. So far, that forecast is not looking good."

[Big_Hitter]

huh, wonder why I've never heard of this lean in thing?

[RonBoyd]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Big_Hitter huh, wonder why I've never heard of this lean in thing?

It was on a "need to know" basis.

[Big_Hitter]

sounds like a diet

[NW-Bound]

I never knew of this couple until I saw this thread, so searched the Web out of curiosity to learn the story, mainly regarding the accidental death.

And I saw that Obama spoke well of the husband. As usual, I am so out of touch.

[daylatedollarshort]

It probably means more if you are a woman in the same field and were overworked by Lean In kinds of female bosses who had nannies and hired help to do their laundry and grocery shopping and could afford to live in expensive urban houses close to work.

[ExFlyBoy5]

Quote:

Originally Posted by NW-Bound I never knew of this couple until I saw this thread, so searched the Web out of curiosity to learn the story, mainly regarding the accidental death. And I saw that Obama spoke well of the husband. As usual, I am so out of touch.

Don't feel bad...actually, I am very PROUD of not knowing what in the world this "Lean In" is or who this Goldberg guy was. In the grand scheme of things, learning of this "Lean In" and about Goldberg really has NOTHING to do with my life.

On the subject of treadmills, since I am home alone most of the day, I usually send my DW an email or text before I go off and exercise (whether inside or outside). I give her an approximate time that she should hear from me when I finish up so if something happens, she can summon help in a (hopefully) reasonable time. Sure, it's kind of goofy, but just a little risk mitigation.