First time: TSA full body frisking

[97guns]

I got frisked for the first time today, TSA agent tells me that my bag has alerted the system, he asks if I have anything metal. I tell him that I have some silver coins, he finds my coin stash and continues looking through my bag, taking everything out and swabbing it down for some kind of residue, after the bag search it was on to the full body where he literally ran his hand up my groin and but crack, they didn’t find anything and I really doubt they were looking for something metal.

 

[joeea]

It happens.

 

[easysurfer]

Sounds like from

= WTH?

to

= How far will this go?

to

= Oh well, it happens

Never had the full body search done to me, but at least now know what to expect.

 

[mpeirce]

I got frisked for the first time today, TSA agent tells me that my bag has alerted the system, he asks if I have anything metal. I tell him that I have some silver coins, he finds my coin stash and continues looking through my bag, taking everything out and swabbing it down for some kind of residue, after the bag search it was on to the full body where he literally ran his hand up my groin and but crack, they didn’t find anything and I really doubt they were looking for something metal.

This happened to me last week in Fort Lauderdale Airport. I was going through PreCheck security and I set off the alarm. Twice. Not really sure why, but they gave me a very thorough frisking. Sounds just like the one you got. Maybe this is something new.

 

[OldShooter]

Happened to me today in DET, returning from Myanmar and after 30 or so hours of traveling I was not my usual patient and cordial self. I have Global Entry and Precheck.

The whole thing was a monumental waste of time. Their detection machine clearly needed recalibration as it alarmed on nothing, then the guy wasted a huge amount of time examined objects far too small to be dangerous. This is truly a jobs program for the Too Stupid for Arby's crowd.

Guy was jerk, too. When I complained he asked if I was an explosives expert. I said that as a engineer I knew that a few stray molecules of something, even if actually present, did not constitute an explosion risk. Grrr...

 

[Dash man]

It’s happened to me a couple of times. I think they hate it as much as we do.

 

[Souschef]

Some years ago, I was carrying a proposal back East that was put in brand new plastic binders. I guessed the plastcizer out gassed, and alerted. I was patted down twice on the way to my destination.
On the return trip home there must have been a remnant of the gas because the empty case alerted. I was patted down the third time.
I looked at the agent, smiled, and said,"UI have been patted down 3 times on the trip and you are the best looking one of all"

 

[Car-Guy]

Maybe you should remove your Early Retirement forum name from the tags on your carry on bags.

 

[Tetto]

This happens to me a lot; it’s always the women TSA agents who are giving me the full body grope treatment. It drives my wife nuts!

 

[Senator]

I think it's all for show. The studies have proven that most of the test allow contraband items through.

 

[MRG]

DW had this happen while traveling international. They took her away after they swabbed her handbag!

It was somewhat scary as she had used that handbag as her CCW bag. She came back 30 minutes later, said they'd asked a lot of questions about her bag and what she'd used it for. Pretty easy explanation as she just told the truth. Thankfully there was no weapon in there on a flight.

A few years later we found ourselves in FL. she'd carried the same bag, removed the weapon. She didn't remove the single stack 9mm 1911 Wilson magazine and rounds! It went through the TSA screening!

We gave SD rounds away to family and mailed the magazine home.

 

[Souschef]

I think it's all for show. The studies have proven that most of the test allow contraband items through.

Someone once called it Kabuki theater

 

[CaptTom]

Just sitting here thinking of all the one-liners I'd come up with during that search.

I hear those TSA folks have no sense of humor. Probably wouldn't end well.

 

[97guns]

DW had this happen while traveling international. They took her away after they swabbed her handbag!

It was somewhat scary as she had used that handbag as her CCW bag. She came back 30 minutes later, said they'd asked a lot of questions about her bag and what she'd used it for. Pretty easy explanation as she just told the truth. Thankfully there was no weapon in there on a flight.

A few years later we found ourselves in FL. she'd carried the same bag, removed the weapon. She didn't remove the single stack 9mm 1911 Wilson magazine and rounds! It went through the TSA screening!

We gave SD rounds away to family and mailed the magazine home.

Prior too 911 I took a flight with my computer bag and forgot that I had a 9mm in there from a road trip, they took me downtown and booked me, hired a lawyer and got the charges dropped to a disturbing the peace misdemeanor , ended up being a $3000 mistake

 

[SheitlQueen]

I used to have it happen all the time, never could figure out why. Now that I'm much older, I haven't had it happen in a long time.

 

[aaronc879]

This happens to me a lot; it’s always the women TSA agents who are giving me the full body grope treatment. It drives my wife nuts!

I thought only same-sex agents could do full body "groping"? Or is it only men groping women that is not allowed. It's somehow ok if it's a women doing it to a guy but not the other way around.

 

[Jerry1]

I thought only same-sex agents could do full body "groping"? Or is it only men groping women that is not allowed. It's somehow ok if it's a women doing it to a guy but not the other way around.

One of life's double standards. Beyond the joking, yes, I'd rather have a woman "groping" me than a man. Not saying it's right, but that's my nature.

 

[RobbieB]

But what if it's a mean woman vs a loving man?

 

[Amethyst]

We've gotten everything but a body cavity search, even when we were both flying on DoD official passports. I think it is largely random.

Imagine some of the horrible human specimens they have to feel up in the course of their job! Some of those TSA agents must get nightmares.

 

[Luvdogs]

I had it happen a few months ago in Montreal. My carry-on set something off.

I thought maybe my luggage came into contact with something that the Uber drivers had in their trunk when they threw my luggage in there. TSA really kept going through my carry-on.

Then they asked me to take my phone out of the case (otterbox). I couldn't figure out how to do it (my kids do that stuff for me), so I guess they figured I was really safe (or a loser) if I couldn't figure out how to do that. DH did it for me.

They gave up and let me go.

 

[rodi]

Funny TSA story from my DH...

A few years ago I gave him bright red flannel boxers with SpongeBob Squarepants and hearts - and logo'd "Dr Lovepants" for valentines day. Obviously a gag, never expected him to wear them... but he like the softness of the flannel so he actually wore them often.

He was travelling back from visiting his mom and had a knee brace on - the brace had a small metal piece in it - but was mostly elastic. He didn't think about this when putting it on, putting on jeans, and, of course, wearing his Dr. Lovepants undies.

Sure enough - the brace sets of the detector. He's patted down and wanded but they decide they need to see the brace to verify that's the issue. Since he can't get the brace off while wearing his jeans he's escorted to a room to drop trousers.... He'd forgotten about the underwear - and didn't recall it till he was getting ready to disrobe... He starts to explain and they just wave him to continue... Their faces, apparently, were PRICELESS.... here's this old guy wearing bright red Spongebob Dr. Lovepants boxers. Both TSA agents tried to suppress laughter... but didn't succeed.

 

[RobbieB]

I love my flannels in the wintertime -

 

[Moemg]

I have been patted down numerous times . It was mostly while flying alone to visit relatives.I joke that I have been patted down so many times they know what brand bra I prefer .I asked my friend who worked many years for the airline why I was targeted . She said I fit a profile .

 

[zinger1457]

I think it's all for show. The studies have proven that most of the test allow contraband items through.

When DHS ran their undercover operation last year they found that TSA failed 95% of the time to detect smuggled weapons and explosives. That's pretty scary.

 

[flintnational]

But what if it's a mean woman vs a loving man?

If the forum had a monthly prize, this would win.