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Old 04-28-2013, 01:44 PM   #41
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What an epic 1,000th post Hamlet.

I particularly enjoyed:
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He asked me for money, but being savvy about the ways of panhandlers, I was worried that he would waste it on food or shelter.
Thanks for the laugh.
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Old 04-28-2013, 04:41 PM   #42
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When I watch the news or one of those Dateline kind of shows, I am amazed how they can arrive at someone's porch and accost the people inside. That is as bad as beggers.

Remember in the good ole days when we had to put up with the Hare Krishna in the airports? I always went up to them if they started over my way...and asked them for money...
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Old 04-28-2013, 07:03 PM   #43
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However, I try to be generous when I'm no being asked. Its my way to perform "random acts of kindness".
One author I read (forget which one), said that he would sometimes pay the highway toll for the guy behind him to relieve the stress of driving in rush hour traffic. $1. The cheapest therapy around, hehe.
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Old 04-28-2013, 07:44 PM   #44
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Makes me glad I live in a high rise with a security guard in the lobby.

There are more causes and people in genuine need of assistance than I can possibly support so I like to make sure that my hard earned money goes to the genuinely needy. Potantial con-artists, high overhead charities and people who invade my privacy, irritate me or attempt to guilt trip me are have no chance of getting a hand out.
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Old 04-28-2013, 08:54 PM   #45
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Someone in my driveway would have gotten a curt no and if they did not take the hint I would have been in the house with the dog barking and a firearm handy (and DW likely calling the police). In a suburban area like ours someone doing this would be extremely unusual and likely intent on bigger crimes.
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Old 04-28-2013, 09:01 PM   #46
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One time I was at a small local shopping center - in the parking lot. A very pregnant young woman came up to me and asked me for $2 for gas so they could get home. I think I gave her $5 because it was so distressing to me. I even talked to her for a few minutes about how there is help out there for people in her situation.

When I came out of the store, she was hitting someone else up for money! I felt incredibly disgusted, as well as shocked that someone could use their (unborn) child in such a way.

That is the last time I have fallen for panhandlers. We give to the food bank and to the local homeless shelter only.

Sorry the OP had such a frightening experience...we all have to be more careful these days - unfortunately.
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Old 04-28-2013, 09:11 PM   #47
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Have your own sob story ready. My husband left me, I am losing the house and I don't know how I am feeding the kids tomorrow. I was worried you were the repo man coming to take back the car...... blah blah blah. Then ask him he to spot you $20 to help you out. If he can not help, indicate he must be even worse of than you, and offer to share some of your Rice & Beans.
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Old 04-28-2013, 09:18 PM   #48
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When aggressively pan-handled with one of these "emergency train fare" sob stories while in a major city, my brother and I offered to call the police so that they could connect the individual with social services which could help them. But wouldn't you know it, the person had already tried the police to no avail!

We became indignant that our social services would turn away someone so obviously in need. We pulled out a cell phone to call the police on their behalf and I mentioned I thought I saw a cop a block away.

Shockingly, they no longer needed my help. They had a sudden burst of inspiration on how to solve their own problem.

Jerks.
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Old 04-28-2013, 09:49 PM   #49
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"Sorry I can't give you a few bucks, I don't carry bills smaller than $100's"

Works every time.
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Old 04-28-2013, 09:54 PM   #50
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"Sorry I can't give you a few bucks, I don't carry bills smaller than $100's"

Works every time.
Until they decide they would be happy to have your hundreds, whether you wish to turn them over or not.
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Old 04-28-2013, 10:09 PM   #51
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Having someone approach me for money in my own driveway would scare the crap out of me no matter how convincing the sob story. I'm glad your DH called the police and I doubt they will return (they have probably been so many places they won't remember how to get to yours). I really hate the scam-handlers who create an elaborate stories because if the stories were true, they could find some real help.
I agree. It would scare me to death to be cornered in my driveway like that.
We have not had it recently but many years ago someone came off the street and I could tell they were going to ask me for "something" which meant whatever it was I didn't want it or didn't want to give it.

My deadpan answer was: "Did I invite you onto my property? The answer is "No" and you are trespassing. I'll give you one second to turn around and go back where you came from before I call the police. Soliticitation in this neighborhood is illegal."
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Old 04-29-2013, 12:03 AM   #52
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I generally give to organizations that help the homeless rather than direct giving.
I prefer direct giving to the topless.
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Old 04-29-2013, 08:49 AM   #53
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OTOH, I did knock on a stranger's door yesterday and ask if I could have the pile of cut up tree that had been sitting there all weekend. She seemed happy to be rid of it.
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Old 04-29-2013, 03:10 PM   #54
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Just got back from a trip to Chicago where I noticed everyone walking with there head down. They all looked miserable. After three days there I realized that they were just trying to avoid eye contact with the beggars. I am more annoyed by those expecting tips for things I'd rather do myself. Like forced valet parking. I was in Orlando this weekend where they forced you to valet at 16 bucks per day and then had their hand out every time they brought your car to you when it was literally 50 feet away.
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Old 04-29-2013, 03:53 PM   #55
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We give to the food bank
I recall, when I lived in British Columbia, watching a Vancouver TV news report on local food banks.........in an attempt to garner sympathy for their 'clients' one administrator trucked out a young couple, who, she said, had been availing themselves of the food bank's services for 5 years.......the female, who was heavily pregnant, was holding the hand of a two year old.

No more donations from me.
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Old 04-29-2013, 04:08 PM   #56
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I give to various shelters/food banks. It's pretty much the only type of charity outside of educational 503(c)s that I give any money to.

When I was in college I lived downtown- before it gentrified... and panhandling was common. I was a poor college student. Didn't have any extra money... But I'd offer PB&J sandwiches, or a quesadilla. You could tell really quick who the scammers were - no interest in the food. But there were enough people sincerely appreciative of a peanut butter sandwich that it made me continue the offers.

We've taught our sons to not give cash to panhandlers. But we do have them choose charities to give to - and both boys give to the biggest food panty in town.
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Old 04-29-2013, 04:21 PM   #57
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I recall, when I lived in British Columbia, watching a Vancouver TV news report on local food banks.........in an attempt to garner sympathy for their 'clients' one administrator trucked out a young couple, who, she said, had been availing themselves of the food bank's services for 5 years.......the female, who was heavily pregnant, was holding the hand of a two year old.

No more donations from me.
My father, when he retired, ran a church food bank in the Ozarks in Missouri. From listening to him, there were many people similar to you describe. But the lesson is that maybe they are already operating at the best they can do. Everyone is not created the same. Do we deny aid just because people are not that bright, or have any other list of issues. In a similar way, that is how I look at the driver that is in front of me on the road, driving very irritating, is probably driving at the height of their capabilities and if they drove like I want them to, they would crash, then I would have to stop and be even later at arrival.
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Old 04-30-2013, 07:42 AM   #58
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But the lesson is that maybe they are already operating at the best they can do. Everyone is not created the same.
Great...a guilt and recrimination free response...."I'd love to help you, but it's above my operational grade".
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Old 04-30-2013, 07:53 AM   #59
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I seem to remember a 60 Minutes (? this was years ago) clip where they highlighted a guy who panhandled every day in SFO, took the train back to his hometown 30 miles away, got into his Cadillac and went to his middle class home. Seems he was making about $80K a year--tax free.

He never claimed poverty but just asked people for money and they gave it to him. This was his job.
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Old 04-30-2013, 08:54 AM   #60
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This reminds me of a story.

At one of the plants of my former megacorp employer, there was a skilled-trades guy (aka among the highest-paid union workers in the plant) who was discovered by his coworkers to have been panhandling. He kept detailed records of dates, locations, and his "take".

This was corroborated by another employee who had seen him (looking disheveled and dressed to appear needy) begging at a nearby shopping center.

He was given a hard time by his coworkers, but he was quite smug and proud of his 'second job'.

Turns out, he had put his daughter thru medical school. She was mortified when she found out that her dad had been panhandling.

Last I heard, he was still doing it.

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