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Social media - when you are gone.
Old 04-09-2018, 09:54 AM   #1
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Social media - when you are gone.

The recent thread “Where are they now?” got me thinking about what would happen to my social accounts should I die or become incapacitated and simply stop posting.

I am a member of, and post on 4 platforms. Facebook, 2 US Expat sites and here.

Being a US expat is very complicated, particularly to do with finance and taxes, but other areas as well and the 2 sites for expats have been a tremendous help, and now most of my posts are advice to others going through similar processes of moving and living overseas. I don’t believe anyone would miss me on that site as it is fairly normal for folks to frequent the site for a while then drop off.

Facebook is somewhere I post very little and I use it mostly to follow the trivial stuff my family and friends post such as vacations. Important stuff is always via phone, text or email. e.g. this year there have been 2 deaths of close family members but I found out about them via phone and then communicated via phone and email. No stuff posted on Facebook at all.

This site is different in that I am a Moderator and would want the team to know what has happened to me, and if any inquiries were made of my whereabouts by members I would want the team to pass on the info.

In with our wills is a document entitled “What to do when I’m gone” which I update and go over with my wife every January. I am going to add an instruction on how to let the team here know what has happened to me. My wife and I have a shared password file so we can easily find out the passwords on all the sites we use including our email accounts. Even without my wife doing anything, if an er.org admin sent an email to me after I was dead or incapacitated then she would respond. Of course if we both died in the same accident then that plan for informing this site is no good.

Does anyone else have any social media sites they would want informing should they stop posting because of being incapacitated?
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Old 04-09-2018, 10:03 AM   #2
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I remember not too long ago hearing that there is a service available to "manage" your social media accounts when you kick the bucket. I don't really do "social media" with the exception of this and one other forum. And to be honest, if I departed today, I really don't think anyone would really notice.

However, I think it could be as easy as adding a written/notarized statement of your intentions that you could include in your "estate planning" stuff.
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Old 04-09-2018, 10:50 AM   #3
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...

Does anyone else have any social media sites they would want informing should they stop posting because of being incapacitated?
If I were to die tomorrow DW would have way too much on her plate to worry about social media sites. I remember one poster on Bogleheads who suddenly stopped posting and others wondered what had happened. He was a big proponent of retirement planning and had a blog (as I recall) on this subject.

But I think one can plan too much. I do see the value in having some planning so that one can then carry on with being happy and active while still in the living state. I occasionally update a document that is in our safe deposit box with my thoughts for DW and our adult son. I don't like the idea of kicking off and have no plans to do so.
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Old 04-09-2018, 12:21 PM   #4
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I will rely on my friends to take care of it. I have friends on all social media and email. They will know I have passed. Nemo will know although we are the same age (He is older).
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Old 04-09-2018, 01:59 PM   #5
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Nemo will know although we are the same age (He is older).
Two of my expat Saudi running buddies crossed the line in a marathon at the same time.....they held hands at the last second.

So, if I say to you, "Give me a hand", you'll know we're going out together!

(All seriousness aside, DW will notify all concerned about my demise.....if she can find someone who gives a ****.)
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Old 04-09-2018, 02:08 PM   #6
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My friends know how to contact me:

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Old 04-09-2018, 03:06 PM   #7
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My friends know how to contact me:

Attachment 28235
+1.

Besides, I'll be way too busy being dead to worry about stuff I leave behind.
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Old 04-09-2018, 03:18 PM   #8
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I know at least one other person here at ER.org personally. I suspect she would share the news of my demise here. (Consider yourself empowered - mystery person). Planning to live at least another 50 years so probably won't happen any time soon.

On a related note, an old HS girlfriend of mine ended up dying in midlife. I only found out due to, I suspect, her family converting her FB account into a memorial/tribute page.

In all seriousness, I suspect you could setup and fund a legal trust to manage all of your digital assets.

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Old 04-09-2018, 03:36 PM   #9
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Ashley Madison is the only one I would be worried about.
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Old 04-09-2018, 03:40 PM   #10
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Old 04-09-2018, 05:19 PM   #11
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Facebook has functions to manage accounts either by family members after the fact or in advance. You an read here: https://www.facebook.com/help/101771...elpref=hc_fnav

Gmail has a lamely titled inactive account manager but you can set this up in advance: https://publicpolicy.googleblog.com/...life-with.html

You can also configure gmail to send out "I'm dead notice" to any addresses you specify.
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Old 04-09-2018, 07:37 PM   #12
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Ashley Madison is the only one I would be worried about.
Who is Ashley Madison? Am I missing this?
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Old 04-09-2018, 07:54 PM   #13
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Who is Ashley Madison? Am I missing this?
https://www.ashleymadison.com/
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Old 04-09-2018, 07:58 PM   #14
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Um. Wow. Not sure what to say about that. I think I'm glad I didn't know that existed.
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Old 04-09-2018, 08:01 PM   #15
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Whatever.
I won’t care.
Nor, will you.
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Old 04-09-2018, 08:19 PM   #16
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Access to DH's LastPass account allowed me to take over his multiple social media accounts as well as his web site. He had some level of popularity in his field, so this was necessary.

I was his Facebook Legacy Contact, and so "memorialized" his account about nine months after he died.

My estate papers include instructions on such matters, since I doubt I will have a spouse to tutor on it!
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Old 04-09-2018, 09:25 PM   #17
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It's a TRAP!!!

not putting that in my google history. Next thing you know I'm getting targeted ads. Mrs Scrapr is looking over my shoulder asking very personal questions. I'm then divorced and my FIRE date is +20. Until I find a nice condo building with a cardboard box penthouse. I expire with a can of kidney beans (fava beans?) in my hands when the police cart me away

I tell St Peter...I just clicked it once!
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Old 04-09-2018, 09:28 PM   #18
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It's a TRAP!!!

not putting that in my google history. Next thing you know I'm getting targeted ads. Mrs Scrapr is looking over my shoulder asking very personal questions. I'm then divorced and my FIRE date is +20. Until I find a nice condo building with a cardboard box penthouse. I expire with a can of kidney beans (fava beans?) in my hands when the police cart me away

I tell St Peter...I just clicked it once!
Use an alias!
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Old 04-09-2018, 09:30 PM   #19
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I don't care if anyone knows I'm dead or alive.

If I'm alive, they'll know. If I'm dead, I won't care.
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Old 04-09-2018, 09:40 PM   #20
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I have googled 'digital estate executor' more than once.

Given the state of things, the DW can be expected to memorialize my FB page and receive and respond to email (as needed) based on LastPass - other than that, my thousands of words in blog posts and forums and even my many attempts at memoir will all just fade away unless I can come up with someone I trust who also happens to be technically savvy. Haven't found that person, yet...
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