Going through it myself, here's my comments:
For my state, you can get divorced here after you've met the residency requirements, which are...6 weeks. Each state probably differs in their requirements, but you can probably find the laws online.
I think one big thing to consider is whether a property is a community property state or not. There are 11 of them, I think, including mine. In my case, that means that everything we own or earn during the marriage (unless it was brought into the marriage, received as a gift or inheritance, and not commingled with other community property) is 50/50, regardless of who earned it or whose name is on the title. Right now, while I am going through the final stages of the process, all my income is half hers (and hers is half mine).
If they want to be fair and not get taken to the cleaners, I would suggest that they:
1. First sit down themselves and try to write up an agreement. Financially, it should determine all of their assets and liabilities along with who gets what. Kid-wise -- if they have any -- it should determine who gets who when, taking holidays and school into account.
2. Take whatever they agreed on along with a list of whatever they can't agree on to an attorney-mediator. This will cost them approximately 1/4 of what it would cost to go to lawyers separately. Mediate, mediate, mediate.
3. Each take the mediation agreement to a lawyer of their choice to review it to make sure they understand and make sure there are no big mistakes or misunderstandings.
4. File a stipulated divorce -- basically you take the mediated agreement to a divorce judge, and he rubberstamps it and says you're done. Judges would much rather have couples come up with their own agreement than have to decide it for the couple. Also, if kids are involved the more amicable you can make it the better (as long as you're not capitulating).
5. Another point on kids -- check with the local district court. Each state is required by federal law to establish child support guidelines, which in my case are considered de facto fair. In our case we are adopting the guidelines wholesale into our agreement.
Bottom line, I don't think any one state is pro-wife or pro-husband. The court system tries to be fair and establishes guidelines in each area as to what is fair, and in most states there is already established case law on stuff. The problem comes in that each marriage brings a different set of circumstances to the table which makes applying the guidelines somewhat of a judgment call.
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