Do you share or tell anyone about your ER dream???

[Enuff2Eat]

One of a guy at work saw me looking at this forum a couple of time since then he is making my life miserable... just a matter of time the whole damm office will know. He constantly bringing it up in groups with extreme negative tone and laughing about it.

too bad, i got another 15 more years of torture like this before i can ER. Do you share your dream with anyone? what's their reaction?? positve or negative?

enuff

 

[kaudrey]

Hi Enuff - I'm 38 and plan on working until 52, so 14 more years.

I don't share it with everyone, but my parents know (Dad helped with my retirement spreadsheet), and some of my close friends know (but we haven't discussed in depth, they just know I have a plan to quit young).

Other than that, I pretty much keep it to myself.

Karen

 

[W2R]

One of a guy at work saw me looking at this forum a couple of time since then he is making my life miserable... just a matter of time the whole damm office will know. He constantly bringing it up in groups with extreme negative tone and laughing about it.

too bad, i got another 15 more years of torture like this before i can ER. Do you share your dream with anyone? what's their reaction?? positve or negative?

That guy, and the whole office, should at least be considering retirement or else when the time comes, they won't be able to do it. So my approach to someone like that might be mild surprise and perhaps a few statistics about how poorly prepared those approaching retirement age today really are. You don't necessarily have to announce a date, 15 years in advance. It might be better to say "at least fifteen years" or something like that.

I have told several people in my office about my dreams, but then my situation is a little different since I am planning to leave in a little less than 3 years. I have been very sure to emphasize that my timeframe is only approximate, because who knows what could happen with the market and so on. At this point, I don't much care if it impacts my career (JUST got a big promotion, and no others are on the horizon). Still, I don't want people to ask "why are you still here?" if my retirement is delayed for any reason.

Anyway, having told people about it, my vacations to various possible ER locations are pretty easy to explain. I am going to check out Huntsville, Alabama this weekend and several people have told me about things I should try to see while I am there.

Reactions are very positive, with some subtle inquiries checking to see if I can actually afford to retire so soon. (Like - - "You have your house paid off, already?"). Also, some self-doubt and self-pity from those who are up to their eyebrows in debt, with them trying to justify why their situation is different and they cannot LBYM or save anything. I just nod sympathetically and tell them that is really rough and that I understand.

 

[RunningBum]

One of a guy at work saw me looking at this forum a couple of time since then he is making my life miserable... just a matter of time the whole damm office will know. He constantly bringing it up in groups with extreme negative tone and laughing about it.

too bad, i got another 15 more years of torture like this before i can ER. Do you share your dream with anyone? what's their reaction?? positve or negative?

enuff

ER was a popular topic when tech stocks were booming and we all had options well above water. The one line question was "What's your exit price?" meaning, how high does the stock need to go before you leave. Even now there are people like me who are on the edge of leaving so it's not too unusual. Most people are pretty positive. A few people (mostly outside of work) are eager to help me try to find another j*b, thinking I'm leaving because I don't like this one. I thank them but tell them that I'm fine and I'm going to take some time off and figure out what it is I want to do with the rest of my life.

At my previous company I wasn't thinking too much about FIRE. I dreamed a bit, and tried to put away as much as I could in a 401K, but I didn't have a solid enough plan to really even talk about it.

Sounds like your co-worker is insecure. Maybe he plans on working until he is 70 and will have to eat cat food in his retirement. The kind of response I'd have in this situation is, "I'm doing some planning for my retirement--it's never too early--and I'm thinking that if I can do it right I might even be able to retire early." Who could make fun or think less of you for that? The nice thing about executing a plan towards FIRE, it's not an all-or-nothing thing. Even if you can't RE, you've certainly made your retirement more comfortable than if you did nothing.

 

[teejayevans]

One of a guy at work saw me looking at this forum a couple of time since then he is making my life miserable... just a matter of time the whole damm office will know. He constantly bringing it up in groups with extreme negative tone and laughing about it.

too bad, i got another 15 more years of torture like this before i can ER. Do you share your dream with anyone? what's their reaction?? positve or negative?

enuff

No way, even a hint of it gets a negative response
TJ

 

[FIREd]

I like my privacy, and I rarely mention my ambition to ER in my 40's outside the family. When I did in the past, some people got jealous ("well you must have inherited a lot of money", which I didn't), some people didn't get it ("retirement is for old people"), some people thought I was lazy ("who retires in their forties besides lazy good for nothing bums?") but most gave me a lecture because they thought they knew better ("live today cause you'll be dead soon enough" (I wonder how they know that...), or "most people who retire die within a few years"). Thanks but no thanks. I'd rather keep it for myself.

 

[Fireup2020]

I carefully share my plans with people, just tell them that I will no longer be an employee either at 50 or 55 (PERIOD) - there are things that are already "scheduled" for 50/55 plus! - and am working on younger people - encouraging them to PLAN for ER. It can happen if that is one of your goals. Younger (under 40) folks seem to be more receptive to the idea. Nice to see the seed planted. But maybe hearing this from a bubbly blonde is a bit different from someone more "established" looking??

 

[TexasGal]

Uh . . . I guess I don't really understand why ER gets a negative response from anyone. Although not everyone in my extended family will be able to ER, they all talk about it as a desirable outcome. If someone is working towards enough NW to retire early, it should be commended. It is an accomplishment. Why would anyone respond negatively to that other than the fact that they are probably envious?

Your desire to ER is a worthy one and time spent on this forum with folks who are also planning to do it or who have already done it is time well spent. It could be classified as research into future possibilities. How anyone could be negative about that is just amazing to me.

I fell into early retirement due to eldercare for a parent with Alzheimer's as well as continuing care for my mom. I didn't really have time to talk to anyone about it, but if I had discussed it, I honestly believe I would have had nothing but supportive comments. Maybe I'm giving people too much credit.

TG

 

[W2R]

some people got jealous ("well you must have inherited a lot of money", which I didn't)

I forgot to say that I have had that, too! Especially since my father was a surgeon so people sometimes assume that I must be fixed for life and working for fun or something (yeah, right?)

So now when I mention that the projected date is still pretty uncertain, I always joke about winning the lottery or a rich uncle dying, as well as mentioning that the market might tank. I think that nipped those rumors off in the bud since it makes it pretty clear that I haven't come into a windfall.

 

[armor99]

This is a classic example of what Ayn Rand (Author of Atlas Shrugged) called... "Hatred of the good for being good". Most well adjusted productive people would react to you being able to retire early in a positive way. They would be happy for your ability. And some might even ask how you did certain things, because they would want to emulate your success.
Then there are other people that believe that because they could not succeed in something, (or simply did not want to) that no one else should be allowed to succeed either. In other words.... they do not want to succeed, they want YOU to fail. I would wager that if you asked any of the co-workers that laughed at you how they were planning for retirement, the short answer is... they are not. These people are the "everything will turn out OK in the end" crowd. Which is code for "I am leaving my future to chance". Just my thoughts....

 

[fluffy]

I've told my family and friends and some colleagues at work and most people are supportive or, at worst, indifferent. I don't really bring up the topic unless I'm sure the person I'm talking to dislikes his/her job (and not afraid to say so). But since I and most of my friends are in IT that's usually the case.

 

[citrine]

One of a guy at work saw me looking at this forum a couple of time since then he is making my life miserable... just a matter of time the whole damm office will know. He constantly bringing it up in groups with extreme negative tone and laughing about it.

too bad, i got another 15 more years of torture like this before i can ER. Do you share your dream with anyone? what's their reaction?? positve or negative?

enuff

I agree....he is very insecure and probably up to his eyeballs in debt. Next time he brings this up, just smile at him and shrug your shoulders. I get a lot of crazy looks too when I say I am going to retire early....and a lot of questions like what will you do? My reply is ANYTHING I WANT TO!!! Nothing is usually said after that
The concept of work is really ingrained into everyone by society that they cannot comprehend anything that does not involve reporting into someone! I don't want to be a lemming all my life!

 

[Medit8]

Loved Atlas Shrugged. Fountain Head's Howard Rourke was a superbly developed character as well.

On the subject of the OP, I have mentioned it to a few people. No one really seems to comprehend why or how. Except for my parents. They worry a bit, but they understand. Time is precious and what better way than spending it the way you want if you have the opportunity.

 

[donheff]

Next time the guy says something act a little peeved and loudly say something like, "hey, dick head, quit talking about me or I am going to tell everyone about those pre-teen sites you visit."

 

[SingleMomDreamer]

If co-workers know about ER plans, and you have quite a ways to go, then aren't you opening the door to having management/colleagues question your commitment to the organization? Why take the chance? Plus, this bozo can then try to use this against you--after all, HE must be more committed than you since he plans to work until his death.

I have hopes of ERing, but even if all goes well, I'm a decade ago. If I pull it off when I hope, then I'd be in my mid-50s. Seems like a long time from now. A few select friends at work and outside know my dreams--those that I know will be supportive. No one else has a clue and I'd better keep it that way if I want to keep my regular gig. Also, I envision retirement as retirement from this structured job only--I've got stuff on the side that should be pulling in extra income soon enough. Good luck!

 

[Sam]

Do you share your dream with anyone? what's their reaction?? positve or negative?

enuff

First reaction is usually disbelief, then dismissal. It usually ends there, which is a good thing. But sometimes it continues and turns into jealousy and resentment.

It's best to not discuss ER with anyone, unless you specifically know that he/she is also planning ER. Hey, that's the whole idea of this forum, isn't it.

 

[Enuff2Eat]

thanks for all of the respones. i just got to be careful around here. definitely do not want management get an impression that i am not commited. i am committed, i got kids that still need to eat. From now on, Football Fantasy and Baseball fantasy Forum only. It seems to be the "acceptable" topic around the office and no one seems to care and make any "nasty" comment to me about it.



enuff

First reaction is usually disbelief, then dismissal. It usually ends there, which is a good thing. But sometimes it continues and turns into jealousy and resentment.

It's best to not discuss ER with anyone, unless you specifically know that he/she is also planning ER. Hey, that's the whole idea of this forum, isn't it.

 

[LOL!]

I've told folks for years and years about my desire to ER. It's a standing joke with my friends. They don't deride it all, but instead folks ask for my advice, so I point them to various web sites.

 

[sweetana3]

It is a bad thing to talk about in my office. All middle class worker bees who are more interested in the latest TV show than the future. All with lots of debt and insecurity.

Not so bad at husband's place of work. They are more likely to ask how to do it.

Best to be very careful. Even your best friends can turn envious and relatives can come out of the woodwork for money.

 

[Sandy]

i've had a range of responses, when I mentioned the concept in passing. Some have said "best of luck" to anyone who can get out early (they say they can not) or doubt I will be able to make it happen. One person dismisses retirement planning as unreasonable, since her parents died fairly young. When I said something about that makes it more urgent to get out early, she shrugged.

I don't discuss it in any detail except with one person who is like-minded about retiring early. But, he will have a full state pension (mine is too small to factor into my planning) and he does not have kids, so has a lot less moving parts to consider. He doesn't think I will be able to do it, but retirement and retirement planning are our favorite conversations.

 

[Nords]

He constantly bringing it up in groups with extreme negative tone and laughing about it.
too bad, i got another 15 more years of torture like this before i can ER. Do you share your dream with anyone? what's their reaction?? positve or negative?

You need to give him (and everyone else) the quiet, self-confident smile that says "Screw you, my ER portfolio's on track and I'm going to keep this company successful enough to get me there!"

thanks for all of the respones. i just got to be careful around here. definitely do not want management get an impression that i am not commited. i am committed, i got kids that still need to eat.

I would think that your accomplishments with your personal finances should give management confidence in your abilities while reassuring them that you guys share a common goal-- after all their paychecks are your preferred path to ER.

From now on, Football Fantasy and Baseball fantasy Forum only. It seems to be the "acceptable" topic around the office and no one seems to care and make any "nasty" comment to me about it.

Well, hey, heaven forfend that work should get in the way of all this lifestyle commentary...

 

[firewhen]

Remember the phrase "Don't ask don't tell". Better to share here. That is what this forum is all about. If I found someone who was like minded, I would love to be able to talk about it. But most folks complain about bills, taxes and the kids college education. I could just see talking about ER with them--not!

I have been tempted to speak up when someone says something like why don't you get a new car, but I will just say something like it still runs fine. Beats saying something like that kind of thinking will keep you in debt and me retired early.

 

[GoodSense]

I'm 30 so most of my friends are in their 20s or early 30s. I do encourage my close friends to do retirement planning (Roth IRA, etc.) around tax time, because I think it's good for them. Quite a few of them have now opened tax-deferred accounts and Roth IRAs. I am always happy to discuss with my close friends and family about it if they have questions.

However, I don't share how much I have or how much longer to go for FIRE. One, because I'm not so sure myself, and two, retiring at 40 or 45 will probably sound ridiculous to the non-ER-minded.

Outside of that, though, I don't share with people at work my ER plans. One of my coworkers in her mid-40s just announced her ER in a couple of months. That was encouraging. This forum gives me enough support so that I don't have to announce my plans to the whole world. Thanks, everyone.

 

[DblDoc]

I too keep it to myself. Its none of their business. In terms of my LBYW lifestyle I explain that as "saving for kids college" or "paying off my mortgage".

In general I'm appalled at how unprepared those around me at work are for dealing with financial security and retirement let alone ER and would NOT want to become the "resident expert". Of course I was just as clueless as they only a few short years ago...

DD

 

[lazygood4nothinbum]

He constantly bringing it up in groups with extreme negative tone and laughing about it.

up until i pulled the plug i had never before considered early retirement though i always did live below my means, never went into debt and always saved for what i thought might be a rainy day.

i would have loved for someone earlier on to have opened my eyes to the possibility of early retirement. i suspect that not only would i have been an even better saver, but i would have learned more about investing and, even possibly, i might have taken my career more seriously.

enuff, you have done your colleagues a great service even if they acknowledge it with mockery.