Global warming will be solved
Markets will recover + 10% across the world
Whales will be saved
Japanese will acquire a taste for whalerumi
Miss America contest will be banned, as will all reality shows
Income taxes will be abolished
Everyone with a mortgage will have it paid off by the government
Wars will end, people will all drink coke and gather in groups to sing
Everyone will be able to FIRE if they want to and work at meaningful occupations for the rest of their lives if they do not want to FIRE ...
Of course, unemployment will go to zero
Sarah Palin will be elected president, but will decline to work soup kitchens in Harlem
... April fools .... huh? oh January 1st? not ... never mind
signed
a person with too much time on his hands