Does our job define us?

[ScottFromUtah]

I have many friends whose self image and personal identity seem to be tied up with their profession. Their jobs seem to define them. Even after retiring, they continue to in the same w*rk. In fact the man I replaced on the faculty at my university 30 years ago spent the next 20 years still doing research and publishing (without pay).

So, are we on this forum a different breed? Are we defined by what we do when we are not w*rking? Or were we just not into your w*rk that much? What is our motivation for wanting (or having wanted) to ER?

 

[VaCollector]

While I can't speak for the rest of the folks here, personally, I am defined by my lack of that j*b thingy you speak of.....

 

[haha]

I have many friends whose self image and personal identity seem to be tied up with their profession. Their jobs seem to define them. Even after retiring, they continue to in the same w*rk. In fact the man I replaced on the faculty at my university 30 years ago spent the next 20 years still doing research and publishing (without pay).

It would seem that this guy really found his true love, so why would he abandon it after he retired? Was it likely less satisfying than the things we ERs spend our time on? To your question of are we different, of course we are. This is fairly odd subculture, and most of us have long been deviant (in our internal plans and the the ways that we saw the work world, etc.) Much of our work on this board is making a virtue out of our particular style of non-conforming.


Ha

 

[ziggy29]

So, are we on this forum a different breed? Are we defined by what we do when we are not w*rking? Or were we just not into your w*rk that much? What is our motivation for wanting (or having wanted) to ER?

We are a different breed, but not because we want to get out of our j*bs as soon as financially prudent to do so. I think the significant majority of w*rkers would like to be financially able to leave their current j*b and would if they were very firmly FI.

We're different because we (for the most part) are aggressively pursuing it by saving heavily and foregoing the pursuit of more "stuff" along the way.

In other words, it's normal to want to retire early (at least from the "daily grind" that is most of our careers). It's not so normal to have a good shot at actually doing it through financial discipline and money management skills.

In reality, I am somewhat envious of people who really and truly *do* love their work, especially if it's secure. But most of us don't, and for us there is the quest for FIRE.

 

[REWahoo]

In reality, I am somewhat envious of people who really and truly *do* love their work, especially if it's secure.

Yep, and I'll take it one step further: I've always been envious of people who actually knew what they wanted to do when they grew up. I never had a passion for anything yet was reasonably competent in the two or three different career fields I wandered through on my way to FIRE.

Now that I'm here, it turns out being FIREd was and is my true calling in life.

 

[Khan]

I rather liked my job (computer programming); then they made me a supervisor. I gained 50# and my health went downhill.

I agree, FIREd is my true calling.

 

[travelover]

.............I agree, FIREd is my true calling.

Me too. I was just a slacker trapped in a w*rker's body.

 

[Nodak]

Me too. I was just a slacker trapped in a w*rker's body.

Me too!

 

[metabasalt]

I rather liked my job (computer programming); then they made me a supervisor. I gained 50# and my health went downhill.

I agree, FIREd is my true calling.

My job for last 15 years was also computer programming but my love has always been art. So I found something I loved years ago. I just couldn't make a living at it. I was fortunate to be able to do something interesting in order to make a living. But as soon as it was financially feasible to leave it for what I loved, which is w*rk in its own way, I left. Not surprisingly it looks like there are a lot of reasons for ER on the forum based on the responses I've seen. When I've told certain people, like some of my doctors, that I've retired they look at me quizzically. At least some of them really do love their work and I think wouldn't know what to do without it. I envy them to a certain extent. If I'd been able to make a living from art then probably I'd still be working at that job. But you just never know. It could be that years of doing it would have made me ready for a big change.

 

[Nords]

Yep, and I'll take it one step further: I've always been envious of people who actually knew what they wanted to do when they grew up. I never had a passion for anything yet was reasonably competent in the two or three different career fields I wandered through on my way to FIRE.
Now that I'm here, it turns out being FIREd was and is my true calling in life.

Exactly. I've always enjoyed reading, thinking, and writing-- and FIRE is the perfect study subject.

Hawaii is full of people who work to live (not the other way 'round): surfers and hula are probably the top two but the list also includes sailors, outdoors types, and musicians.

 

[Dawg52]

Yep, and I'll take it one step further: I've always been envious of people who actually knew what they wanted to do when they grew up. I never had a passion for anything yet was reasonably competent in the two or three different career fields I wandered through on my way to FIRE.

Now that I'm here, it turns out being FIREd was and is my true calling in life.

Same here. I majored in accounting because I had a teacher or two push me in that direction. So I did and pretty much hated my work. Kinda sad. But I did enjoy the people I worked with so that leveled it out. And I got a chance to be part owner in the wholesale company I worked for so that made it more meaningful.

But no doubt, retirement was meant for me. It's been a beautiful relationship so far.

 

[Purron]

I have many friends whose self image and personal identity seem to be tied up with their profession. Their jobs seem to define them.

"What do you do?" This the the first question people generally ask when meeting someone for the first time. Work=identity is everywhere. Even here we often talk about what we used to do.

 

[rescueme]

A j*b was very important to me, for many years.

It taught me that I didn't want one ...

 

[chinaco]

Unfortunately it often does.

 

[flyfishnevada]

If you think about it, we spend 40 hours or more out of every week doing our w*rk. That's more than we devote to any other activity, sometimes even sleep. Seems natural that w*rk is what we would use as our identity. The sad part is that many of us are indifferent at best about our w*rk.

I, personally, have settled on Trout Bum for the next phase of my life. It has a certain ring to it.

 

[Onward]

I have this theory that, no matter what your "profession" or job title, your real job is dealing with difficult people. I've had enough of it.

 

[travelover]

I have this theory that, no matter what your "profession" or job title, your real job is dealing with difficult people. I've had enough of it.

Exactly right. As a manager, I quickly found out that technical competence was easy to find, but the real jewels were people that got things done, which usually meant getting around difficult people.

My pet theory is that many gifted, hard working people work not for financial reward but rather to put themselves in a position where they can behave like a$$holes, yet still be tolerated due to their other contributions.

 

[CuppaJoe]

I have this theory that, no matter what your "profession" or job title, your real job is dealing with difficult people. I've had enough of it.

I find retirement doesn't remove all difficult people from my life.

So here's how I see it. JoAnne retires from a job she hates, dies 30 years later, and her obit features her former, very hated career: "JoAnne, formerly of Podunk, age 95, handler of difficult people, dies in Cabo."

 

[haha]

I had a high school friend whose Dad was a radiologist. I went over to their house a lot, but the father never remembered who I as. My friend told me his Dad would know me if he could see my chest x-ray.

This really stuck in my mind. Talk about job defining you.

Ha

 

[Onward]

My friend told me his Dad would know me if he could see my chest x-ray.

That's ... almost creepy!

 

[Purron]

I had a high school friend whose Dad was a radiologist. I went over to their house a lot, but the father never remembered who I as. My friend told me his Dad would know me if he could see my chest x-ray.

This really stuck in my mind. Talk about job defining you.

Ha

Could have been worse. Imagine if he was an OB/GYN.

 

[ScottFromUtah]

I have this theory that, no matter what your "profession" or job title, your real job is dealing with difficult people. I've had enough of it.

Maybe I'm one of the lucky ones but my "profession" was professor at a university with very bright, well-disciplined, achievement-oriented students. and with wonderful, congenial faculty and staff colleagues. Yes, I had to deal with difficult students--mainly those who thought they deserved a higher grade in my chemistry classes, but that was limited to one or two students at the end of each semester. I felt my real job was indeed teaching and research. I loved it.

 

[bbbamI]

Could have been worse. Imagine if he was an OB/GYN.

.....now we know there's another person besides the hairdresser that knows for sure....

 

[youbet]

For all you folks who hated the way you chose to support yourselves, why did you stick with it voluntarily when you could have done something else to provide life's necessities? Why did you voluntarily keep doing something that you now regret having spent your lives doing? Seems so sad.........

 

[harley]

For all you folks who hated the way you chose to support yourselves, why did you stick with it voluntarily when you could have done something else to provide life's necessities? Why did you voluntarily keep doing something that you now regret having spent your lives doing? Seems so sad.........

In my case, it was sort of like what REWahoo said. I have never found anything I'm passionate about (other than ER), and I had a good paying j*b with decent benefits. Plus I had a wife and daughter that I was responsible for. I didn't hate my j*b, but I certainly hated some aspects of it, sometimes for years at a time. If I had had a dream to follow (w*rk-wise) I probably would have tried it. But to interrupt that with a career change to something else with no guarantee of it being better didn't seem like a good option. So I stuck it out, through good times and bad, and made i through to the relative paradise of FIRE. It was worth it, as long as I don't die in the next couple of years. My only real regret not kicking one particular ex-boss' @ss. And since he got fired for misappropriation of funds a few years later, it all worked out for the best.