Why do others not want me to retire????

[DFA]

I have been telling my friends and family about my plan to retire in 2013, but they keep tell me "you could do consulting".

I though that retirement was not doing working and enjoying life, am I missing something??

I am in the IT business and when I ask why they think I should do consulting their answer is to keep my skill fresh

Again, am I missing something here??

 

[robbridg]

The think most people don't understand how to plan for retirement and are afraid of the process. Therefore, they are afraid for you.

If I ask a few of my friends here at work, who are 10-15 years older than myself (mid 50s), about retirement they either say that they'll never be able to retire or they don't have a clue about how to plan for it.

 

[haha]

DFA, I want you to retire. I see beauty in your plan.

 

[braumeister]

The think most people don't understand how to plan for retirement and are afraid of the process. Therefore, they are afraid for you.

I agree with this response. The majority of your friends probably have the old fashioned idea that retirement is something that happens to you when you're too old to do useful work any more. The concept of voluntary early retirement is simply foreign to them.

 

[flyfishnevada]

Get used to it. Many people either have no desire to retire or no means to retire. They are jealous, fearful or just don't understand the motivation. They compel you to do something familiar. Work more.

Don't listen. Too many people, for many different reasons, feel that retirement is the end. The end of life, the end of good times, the end of usefulness, whatever. You know different. It's the beginning of the best part of your life. Go do it and do it without shame or fear. Just be prepared for all the naysayers.

 

[FIREd]

I want you to retire too.

Given the number of people who asked me "what will you do all do" and "how can you afford not to work anymore", I have concluded that:

1) Many people wouldn't know what to do with themselves if left with a lifetime of leisure on their hands.

2) Many people can't afford to retire at a young age, so why should you?

I also think that some people see retirement as a waste. People think that "consulting" is a gold mine and might wonder why you are leaving so much money on the table by retiring. The concept of "enough" is pretty foreign to Americans, IMO. "Not working and enjoying life" is more dolce vita than protestant work ethic.

 

[bbbamI]

Why do others not want me to retire?

I dunno....ask them.

 

[Rustic23]

Not me, you keep on working! Somebody has to keep SS funded!

 

[Bestwifeever]

I looked at your earlier post and you certainly look like you're in good shape to retire as planned. Maybe they're worried about the Italy part of your plan not working out?

People who consult seem to be for the most part either people who need the money and weren't able to get a "regular" job in their field "in these tough economic times," or people who are already financially independent and enjoy the stuff that goes with consulting including the flexibility to turn down a project. I'm sure your friends and family think of you in the second category.

 

[rescueme]

Not me, you keep on working! Somebody has to keep SS funded!

I agree. You should w*rk till you drop...

 

[Nova]

We pulled the plug at 49 and traveled extensively in our RV for a number of years. The fact that I was open with our RV travel plans diffused the "what will you do with yourself", so that wasn't an issue. People at work had one of two reactions; they either thought we were crazy, or wished they could do the same. OTOH, the reception we received in RV resorts was an eye-opener. We were officially too young to stay in 55+ parks, although most made exceptions (we didn't work, didn't have children, and we weren't loud and rowdy). I was absolutely amazed at the number of rude remarks made to/about us by the older set. We frequently heard...why aren't you still working, we had to work until we were 65 so why don't you. Oh, and the most frequent question (declaration actually) you must be retired military. No, not retired military...and so on.

What we learned was a lot of people don't understand your decision to retire early and many actually resent it. We stopped trying to explain our decision and learned to say something like, we've had all of the fun in corporate life that we could stand so we're trying this for a while. In your case, maybe you could just agree to think about consulting.

PS: We also came to love camping in wilderness areas and pretty much gave up on 55+ RV resorts.

 

[freebird5825]

I also got the old "do some consulting" advice too. I was an Engineer, and these were other Engineers telling me to do this.
What they didn't realize was I was tired of the politics and stress, hence the LAST thing I would do after FIRE is [-]perform like a monkey[/-] stay in the field drawing a paycheck.
It was fun in the early part of my c*reer, but when it was no longer fun...it was time to do something else.
Specifically...the first and only choice was FIRE!!!!!

I think you should do what YOU want.

 

[DFA]

Maybe the SS is what they want me work for; so they will have money when they retire just like several of the post here;0)

I think I will take my chances and skip the consulting.

Thanks all for the comments!!

 

[youbet]

I have been telling my friends and family about my plan to retire in 2013, but they keep tell me "you could do consulting".

I though that retirement was not doing working and enjoying life, am I missing something??

I am in the IT business and when I ask why they think I should do consulting their answer is to keep my skill fresh

Again, am I missing something here??

Yes, you're missing something extremely important. If you're talking to anyone other than your closest family and a very few trusted confidants, you're making a huge mistake. What you're missing out on is the fact that whether you're talking your RE up to gain consensual validation or just to have your ego stroked, you're bringing up a subject where you're unlikely to hear the responses you want.

BTW, what were you expecting to hear?

There is an easy solution. Zip it outside of your DW and maybe a trusted, kindred spirit friend or two. The results of your decision will be yours to bear and you know how you want to live your life. So, go do it. Stop talking about it...........

And, enjoy FIRE!

 

[martyb]

DFA, I want you to retire. I see beauty in your plan.

me too! I talked to a lady at my front door last night ( she knocked to ask me who owned the truck parked in front of my apt.) for about 10 minutes. During the conversation, she asked me where I worked. I told her, told her a little about my job with the govt. based at a local defense contractor. She seemed interested. Then, I told her I planned to retire in 23 months. She thought that was funny, especially after I told her I am now 53, & would be 55 when I retire. She said she would be working until at least age 70, if not longer. I felt sorry for her, but she didn't seem to think it was any big deal. She knows she has no option, because she hasn't planned for retirement. She's just gonna keep working till she maxes her SS and that's what she'll live on. I love boats, but I'm glad I'm not in that one!

 

[Sarah in SC]

marty, a friend told us one day that he'd have to work so long that they would have to dig him up to clock in at work! I have never forgotten the look on DHs face when he heard that. Not for us! Some people seem remarkably resigned to it. For this fellow, though, we worry, as his is a very physical job.

 

[Purron]

Hey, I'm totally cool with you being retired. As long as you stay off my lawn

 

[DFA]

Youbet wrote:

BTW, what were you expecting to hear?



I don't know what I expected to hear just was not expceting to get what I got.

I only talk to Very Close family and only one friend about RE.

 

[FIREd]

Yet another data point:

This is a gorgeous day here in the southeast, so I decided to sunbathe for a few hours outside my favorite coffee shop. A group of well-dressed middle aged men sat at the table next to me (looks like they were fresh off the gold course) and started talking about retirement. Several of them made negative comments regarding retirement in general. They all agreed that, even if they had a few million dollars, they would continue working to "have something to do all day". Gosh, people really have no imagination. All also wished they could inherit a few million dollars to have the "option" to retire. I found two things particularly interesting here: 1) during the conversation, "inheriting money" and "retirement" were always connected. I guess making/saving money the old fashion way was not so appealing for them. 2) these five guys were professing their love for work and disdain for retirement while clearly enjoying a beautiful Wednesday afternoon away from work alongside us retirees.

 

[Amethyst]

Some people automatically associate "retired" with "cranky, boring, and in poor health" because those are the only kinds of retired folks they have ever met or seen. So when you say "I want to retire soon," they picture you becoming like that overnight, and they feel sorry for you.

Amethyst

 

[Katsmeow]

I am in the IT business and when I ask why they think I should do consulting their answer is to keep my skill fresh

Again, am I missing something here??

Sure. I can translate.

"When you run out of money because you retired way too early and have to get a job, at least you will still have up to date skills and might have a prayer of finding at least some job."

 

[sheehs1]

Not certain...but I can assume that talking about retirement with "others"...other than close family...probably puts them on the defensive....meaning they are simultaneously thinking, "he's retiring?, gosh I didn't know he had THAT much money, gosh...I don't...dang it", well...he/she is not one of us anymore"..etc...etc.
Herd mentality so to speak.
They also probably have nothing else they can say....as searching for common ground is paramount to communication. You became "uncommon ground". (LOL!)
The thing that gets me is ....it is as if they automatically assume your work ethic just went down the toilet.

 

[Nords]

I have been telling my friends and family about my plan to retire in 2013, but they keep tell me "you could do consulting".
Again, am I missing something here??

Sounds like you won't be missing some of your friends & family...

We servicemembers & veterans got a whole blog post out of that subject:
Myths of military retirement and early retirement | Military Retirement & Financial Independence

 

[ohyes]

This is very interesting. On a retired teachers' forum, someone advised a few months ago to not talk about plans to retire. I follow that advice now, but not at first because I didn't get it. (now i do).

One of my closest colleague friends was totally shocked when I told her that i am retiring in 2012. When i told her about plans to try new things, do things I never have time for now, etc.. she said several things like, This is my hobby, this is what i do for fun. I cannot imagine giving this up. And, truly, she is a workaholic and does alllllllll sorts of extra things for the school on her own time.

Since then, i do not talk about retirement plans at work.

Congratulations on your upcoming retirement!!!

 

[youbet]

Youbet wrote:

BTW, what were you expecting to hear?



I don't know what I expected to hear just was not expceting to get what I got.

I only talk to Very Close family and only one friend about RE.

Gosh DFA, I think you're making something out of nothing. So you told some very close family members and one friend you'd likely ER in the future. They suggested you could do some consulting to keep your skills up. In other words, they suggested some risk mitigation. That's typical for folks close to you. Had you mentioned you'd be getting yourself a Red Ryder BB gun, they would have warned you that you could shoot your eye out!

Good deal on keeping your upcoming ER news within a close circle. Don't worry about casual comments regarding risk mitigation from loved ones. Finish getting yourself ready and go enjoy FIRE!