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-   -   Ignorance is bliss? (http://www.early-retirement.org/forums/f28/ignorance-is-bliss-62345.html)

Shanky 07-25-2012 05:47 PM

Ignorance is bliss?
 
Everybody knows someone like this. Generous to a fault. Very much in the present. Does not plan or worry. Happy with what ever fate brings them.
In a way, I am jealous. To live entirely in the present is something have never been able to master. Money to them is meaningless, as is preparing for the future. I think some of these people are truly happy, living life for the moment and truly fearless about what the future may bring. The dark side about being a planner is it can be driven by fear & worry. Anyone else have that happy-go-lucky friend or relative who is a financial disaster? By and large they are extremely fun people to be around, but you tend not to find them on ER forums.

LOL! 07-25-2012 06:57 PM

Most of my European friends are this way. They know that the Government will provide for their retirement, so they don't worry about a thing.

pletal 07-25-2012 06:59 PM

Yes, know plenty. I am a planner, trying to retire at fifty. Driven by worry, fear etc. I cannot get myself to live in the present and will pay for it someday. They are great to hang with, till they ask to borrow money!

FUEGO 07-25-2012 07:06 PM

I try to set stuff up on auto pilot so I don't have to "worry" about anything. That is not to say I don't have to expend energy to manage my investments, but I don't worry about it. Life is too short, and I'll be able to ER some day, why worry about when that will happen exactly?

Of course I make plenty of money and have a large investment portfolio that could likely support me indefinitely in some agreeable manner of existence. That always helps :)

donheff 07-26-2012 06:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LOL! (Post 1216278)
Most of my European friends are this way. They know that the Government will provide for their retirement, so they don't worry about a thing.

If a country can make this work (IF) that's great -- provides for the pursuit of happiness. I think a few of them are still succeeding but several others are on the ropes.

jerome len 07-26-2012 06:44 AM

Go spend a day at a Food bank.....you'll find out that many that thought themselves happy are now very sad to watch. I worry, save and darn glad I do it. I do know others, one a member of my family, that don't worry.......the sad news is I worry for them. Oh well, I'm happier this way.

Nemo2 07-26-2012 07:51 AM

As I said to my late wife, vis-a-vis a friend of hers, who was/is of this mindset: "The people who say "It's only money" are the people who don't have any."

easysurfer 07-26-2012 08:11 AM

Ah, sounds like "The Ant and the Grasshopper." :)

FUEGO 07-26-2012 08:33 AM

I think some portray themselves as no worries, happy go lucky people externally, but they always have that cognitive dissonance with their internal feelings of worrying about things and the future. But instead of trying to address the issues that concern them, they continue with the seamless facade externally, because critically discussing the issues that worry them would be too painful.

That isn't just a problem with respect to financial issues. Health, relationship, etc

Lsbcal 07-26-2012 08:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shanky (Post 1216262)
Everybody knows someone like this. Generous to a fault. Very much in the present. Does not plan or worry. Happy with what ever fate brings them.
In a way, I am jealous. To live entirely in the present is something have never been able to master. Money to them is meaningless, as is preparing for the future. I think some of these people are truly happy, living life for the moment and truly fearless about what the future may bring. The dark side about being a planner is it can be driven by fear & worry. Anyone else have that happy-go-lucky friend or relative who is a financial disaster? By and large they are extremely fun people to be around, but you tend not to find them on ER forums.

I had a dog like that. Very lovable and he knew I'd take care of him. We got along great as long as he knew I was the leader of the pack. A perfect benevolent authoritarian relationship.

Now that he is gone, I try to emulate some of his most beloved traits. Living in the moment, but still have not mastered this. Maybe I should become a day trader?

Gumby 07-26-2012 06:49 PM

I find that I worry less -- about anything -- when I am well prepared.

yakers 07-26-2012 07:31 PM

What, me worry?

mattbaxx 07-26-2012 08:23 PM

Man, this hits home like a sledgehammer. I retired in June (age 50) and DW is going half time until she wants to quit full time (48). She is currently spending four weeks in Las Vegas with her parents, the classic "ignorance is bliss" folks, who are now figuring out that perhaps their decades of ignorance was, in fact, foolishness. DW is sad for them and wants to help; I, of course, don't want her to sacrifice all she has accomplished. Her parents chose their path. Now: reap!

And I am angry. And sad. And I want her to come home.

What an uplifting first post!

Gearhead Jim 07-26-2012 08:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shanky (Post 1216262)
...
Anyone else have that happy-go-lucky friend or relative who is a financial disaster? By and large they are extremely fun people to be around, but you tend not to find them on ER forums.


A brother, 60 years old.
Intelligent, articulate, well educated.
Has never held a job in his life that was appropriate to his abilities,and frequently unemployed.
Now "homeless", living on a 27' sailboat.

Lots of fun to hang out with.

NW-Bound 07-26-2012 08:51 PM

Sure, worrying is good. It gets you to prepare for the future, to make plan for contingencies. Most of us here have done that.

But now, I feel I need to sit back and to say that no matter what I have done, there will always be some uncertainties, and I have to stop worrying. Can't get all that worrying interferes with my joy of life, what I have left anyway.

In so many threads here, whenever the question of longevity comes up, people always say they plan for a life of 95 or 100 years. I am not so optimistic for myself. I figure that if I even get to 80, I doubt that I would need that much money or care about anything more.

I am going to enjoy life more now and to stop worrying.

Lsbcal 07-26-2012 10:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NW-Bound (Post 1216542)
....(snip)...
In so many threads here, whenever the question of longevity comes up, people always say they plan for a life of 95 or 100 years. I am not so optimistic for myself. I figure that if I even get to 80, I doubt that I would need that much money or care about anything more.

In the tools I've run and written, they all go up to only the our early 80's. I figure on Plan B if we get that far and things fall apart. Most of those FIRECalc lines ultimately go up and to the right. What, me worry? ... A. Neuman.
Quote:

I am going to enjoy life more now and to stop worrying.
You do realize, I hope, that now you can only participate in threads here that are of the happy sort. :)

NW-Bound 07-26-2012 10:40 PM

To worry and to be gloomy are two different things.

I have been through a few bad and scary periods in life, so I never worry that much about financial stuff. I often say that I could be losing everything and be living in a little motor home and I would not be any unhappier.

I will stop worrying, but like to remain gloomy, even if I am enjoying life now. I don't know it that makes sense to other people, but I see no contradiction in that.

ERD50 07-26-2012 10:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gumby (Post 1216520)
I find that I worry less -- about anything -- when I am well prepared.

+1

Another take on that: "Be concerned about everything, worry about nothing." The underlying idea is that if you are concerned, you will take reasonable precautions, lessening the worry. And once the precautions are in place, what is gained by worrying? Move on to the next thing.

-ERD50

obgyn65 07-27-2012 03:48 AM

I can relate. An ex-girlfriend was like what you describe below. She would never open a bank statement, had to spend her 401k plan for a trip. I had to leave this relationship, could not take it any longer.
Quote:

Originally Posted by Shanky (Post 1216262)
Anyone else have that happy-go-lucky friend or relative who is a financial disaster? By and large they are extremely fun people to be around, but you tend not to find them on ER forums.


RitaR551 07-27-2012 04:52 AM

Oh yes. There is a couple we have been friends with for years. Always rented the cheapest tumbledown house in town. Husband had a great job, but spent every dime on silly stuff or gave it away. Ran credit cards (numerous) to the maximum. Moved to the west coast, lived with their kids. Wife inherited enough to set them up with a small home. Nope. Went through it in a year.
Are they happy people? Yep.


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