Would you?

[Birchwood]

Would you move to a new town or city without knowing anybody? No friends or acquantances? eveything starting from zero? - if you think the place is ideal for your needs and wants?

 

[REWahoo]

Absolutely not - unless I was in the witness protection program.

 

[powerplay]

I doubt I would move somewhere without family or friends.

 

[JPatrick]

We did exactly that 6 years ago. Did not know a soul, but the area has lots of retirees who had done similar before us. That along with loads of recreation and being a bit closer to relatives made the transition fairly painless.
Would I move to a more typical neighborhood with mostly 30 somethings?
No way--can't trust them..

 

[W2R]

Been there, done that, but that was in my youth when I moved out of my parents' house for the first time.

I cannot see myself moving anywhere at all now, unless my beloved is moving there, too. And in that case, I would not be alone and I would know someone there.

 

[RAE]

Well, if you are certain that the new area is ideal for your needs and wants, then I see no reason not to. But how are you sure......have you visited the area, perhaps stayed there for a period of time to check everything out......or is this just some place you fell in love with by reading about it? If it is the latter, then I would personally not make a big move until I spent some time in the new spot. In my case, we have too many things (family, lake cottage, friends, hobbies) that we love about where we currently live to make such a big move, but everyone is different, so a big move like this may be right for you.

 

[Midpack]

We plan to in the next few years, after due diligence.

But DW and I have literally moved all our lives and all the new experiences have enriched our lives - even though our prior moves were not typically to a 'place that was ideal for our needs and wants.' Making new friends, learning a new country/state and it's culture weren't a choice for us - it's all we've ever known. Since our friends and relatives obviously didn't move every time we did, we learned to adapt to not having family close at hand from the start. We like learning new places, it's more fun than the same old - same old to us.

So the next, and possibly last move to a place we choose ourselves, should be an even more gratifying move.

But I am sure it's not for everyone...in other words there's no 'right answer' as usual. If you've had family/relatives close at hand most of your life, that might be 'ideal for your needs and wants.'

 

[Nords]

Would you move to a new town or city without knowing anybody? No friends or acquantances? eveything starting from zero? - if you think the place is ideal for your needs and wants?

In the Navy we call that "transferring to a new duty station". Between my spouse and me we did it 19 times over the course of 20 years.

We didn't think those places were always so "ideal" for our needs & wants, either, but the Navy considered those places ideal for its needs & wants.

So, yeah, I'd do it. I'd try to visit the place a few times over the course of a year, maybe do one visit for at least one continuous month, and I'd try to live like a local. I'd rent for at least six months before I'd buy a house (if I bought a house at all). And everything would probably work out all right.

Now if you asked me whether I'd move to a new town or city that didn't have a surf break-- sorry, that's a non-starter.

 

[freebird5825]

By myself ? Nope.

With Mr B? Yup.

We will be starting our plan to perhaps start snowbirding in the next few years.
He is eligible for SS next year. I can draw my own FERS pension in 2 years. These two things will greatly change our financial situation from just OK to "Live a Little" time.

 

[FIREd]

I've done it 4 times. I think it gets harder every time.

 

[Rustward]

Did it in 1978, (alone, and 22 years old) and so far it has worked out quite well. We'll see where it goes from here.

 

[Alan]

I've done it 4 times. I think it gets harder every time.

I've done it 6 times but it would be even harder for us once retired. Most of the other times we have done it, I quickly got to make friends with previously unknown colleagues at work and DW with parents of other children through schools.

The last time we did this however was after the children had left home and DW had a much harder time with the move.

 

[W2R]

I thought the "no friends or acquaintances" part meant moving someplace without one's spouse or beloved.

If it doesn't, then I have done that dozens of times. But I think the experience is truly different when you don't know ANYBODY there, as opposed to going there with a built-in friend/buddy/spouse/whatever along with you and often even living with you.

 

[Alan]

I thought the "no friends or acquaintances" part meant moving someplace without one's spouse or beloved.

If it doesn't, then I have done that dozens of times. But I think the experience is truly different when you don't know ANYBODY there, as opposed to going there with a built-in friend/buddy/spouse/whatever along with you and often even living with you.

That's why it was so hard for my DW on the last move we made. The job entailed extensive traveling so we moved and I left her to fend for herself.

 

[W2R]

That's why it was so hard for my DW on the last move we made. The job entailed extensive traveling so we moved and I left her to fend for herself.

When we moved to San Diego in 1977, everything we owned was stolen, our only car was wrecked, I found out I was pregnant, and my ex unexpectedly had to go to sea for six months, all within a week or two after getting there. Does that count?

It still wasn't at all the same experience for me as moving someplace where I was genuinely alone and didn't know a soul. After all, I knew he was coming back and that if I disappeared, he would look for me, and so on. I could look for places he might like to visit when he returned, and all in all, I never felt completely alone.

 

[ohyes]

I wonder about this quite often because i want to retire elsewhere.

Friends have done it after retirement and grew to love the places, but only after making new friends through church, etc. A couple of them were very sad/lonely for the first few months.

so, i ruminate about this...

 

[Animorph]

I moved to a different state after I graduated from college. It was an adventure, and as an introvert I was actually motivated to make some friends and start dating. I'd be happy enough to move anywhere with DW, but no plans so far.

 

[Moemg]

Would you move to a new town or city without knowing anybody? No friends or acquantances? eveything starting from zero? - if you think the place is ideal for your needs and wants?

I did that in 1995 . My late husband had always wanted to live in Florida so we moved to Venice, Fl. .The first few months were difficult for me not him but then I adjusted . It's easy to make friends in Florida since everybody is from somewhere else .We bought a new home & were pretty happy when he suddenly died so I would advise anybody who was going to do this to make sure you would be happy in the location if your spouse or partner died & you were alone . I did stay & rebuild my life but it wasn't easy .As far as my family let's just say I fly a lot & skype is your friend .

 

[NYEXPAT]

When I first moved to Peru, I did not know a soul and my (future wife) and I did not speak the same language. 10 years later I have meet and made friends with more people than I can "shake a stick at". I would do it over again in a heartbeat if it could be Europe or Asia!Unfortunately, we will have to choose someplace stateside.

 

[Moemg]

Absolutely not - unless I was in the witness protection program.

Is that why you live in Texas ?

 

[REWahoo]

Is that why you live in Texas ?

Close. I'm here on the witless protection program...

 

[FIREd]

I thought the "no friends or acquaintances" part meant moving someplace without one's spouse or beloved.

If it doesn't, then I have done that dozens of times. But I think the experience is truly different when you don't know ANYBODY there, as opposed to going there with a built-in friend/buddy/spouse/whatever along with you and often even living with you.

I moved twice all by myself, and twice with DW. But, as in Alan's case, DW travels so much that I pretty much had to fend for myself in all cases.

 

[Rambler]

We are in the process of preparing for just such a move. We built our "first stage" retirement home 7 years ago in a community where we know no one. My parents do live about 40 minutes away, i.e., close enough when the need arises (their side or ours), but not so close that we will get in each others' hair. This move is from Tokyo to our home in California.

Back in 1999, we did it the other way around...moving from our previous home in Cali to Tokyo...and also about an hour from DW's family.

On top of that, this is our second stint in Japan, so we've done it all before. My DW makes new friends very easily, and will most likely have a new set of friends within the first 3 months or so at our new location. As for me, I am friendly with everyone, but I don't make close friends very easily. Having been in senior management for a very long time, I have had to learn not to become too close as friends with employees for all the obvious reasons, and I've not had much time to develop many closer relationships outside of work (because I'm always working).

As our new adventure begins to unfold, I suspect I will be just fine with DW as my best buddy, with a new pup running a close second. If I am able to develop close friendships over time, that will be great, but if not, I will be quite satisfied anyway.

Would I or will I move again to a place I don't know? Yes, I probably will, when the phase 1 retirement home becomes more than I am prepared to maintain. At that time, we may move closer to the kids (but not too close) or we may not.

R

 

[2017ish]

We did it in our mid 40's for Wife's mid-career job change. Before she interviewed, we'd been in the town twice, and knew no one within 200 miles. Was probably harder on our teenage boys than to either of us, but we definitely made the right move.

 

[Original Wally]

Nope. Kids and g'kids here. In fact... if THEY moved we would probably consider moving to the same general area