Looking for wisdom...

[DawgMan]

This may sound all mushy and philosophical, but since I have my dawgman mask on, I will bare my soul some and ask the question to you old wise ones who have "figured it out". I'm mathematically 4 yrs from my FIRE date (55). I have picked this date based on the following... arbitrary number based on age, last kid (out of 4) graduates from college and has spent 1 more yr at home getting her feet wet, and math adds up. Here's my problem and this may sound weird/pretentious, but I when I look back at my ridiculous fortunate life, I struggle letting go at 55. Here's my pickle and perhaps some of you have experienced this. I am a self made self employed guy who has had crazy fortune in life. I hit the lotto... have 4 great kids, love my wife of 28 yrs, have my health, and have had a very fortunate career. My FIRE goals may be more lofty than most ($200k +/yr), but I have fortunately (maybe unfortunately) gotten used to a min standard of living. I'm a frugal bastard at heart, but the sucking sound of success has lured me in a certain standard of living. Despite my higher standard of living, I have always socked away significant $. I am/have been the money machine since my 1st kid was born (26 yrs ago) as my wife stayed home by design. I don't hate my job, but am exploring other things that hopefully give me purpose in post FIRE. I am doing test runs now with my DW and hoping to have an epiphany that says, yes, this is it! Now that I have indulged myself upon you, here are my questions...

How have you transitioned from a $$ machine to a FIRE and made peace with it?

What steps did you take preFIRE to ensure your transition was successful?

Looking back, what would you have done differently in your transition (if anything)?

I know my dilemma sounds like "rich people problems", but I am really after the big question of how those of you have successfully transitioned to the other side and found the fufilment you were seeking.

 

[Souschef]

I can only speak for myself. I could not retire early as my wife was brain injured and we needed the medical coverage.
At the same time, I maxed out my 401K contributions ,plus the company's 3% match on 6%, plus my bonuses and profit sharing. I took advantage of the catch up provisions to put even more into the 401K.
My wife passed away in 2005, and having nothing better to do, I continued working.
I remarried in 2007, and worked another year. I worked part of January 2009 to get my profit sharing and retired.
I never looked back,and with my SS, my wife's survivor SS, plus 2 small pensions, we are doing OK. We downsized to a senior development in a small town in another (cheaper) county. I used my wife's property tax reduction to cut our tax from $2000 a year to $400.
We LBOM, but travel extensively. We are not "rich", but are comfortable.
Now I have the time to volunteer, to give back, so to speak. I fly for Angel Flight and Pilots & Paws, I volunteer with a railroad society, I do data entry and data reduction for a food bank, and I volunteer doing taxes for low income people through the IRS-AARP program.

 

[RAE]

I can only answer your questions from the perspective of my own experience. We all have only so much time on this earth (and nobody knows in advance exactly how much time that is ). You can choose to spend that time working longer, and making more money, or you can retire to do other things with your life, when you think you have enough resources. It's fine to keep working longer, if that is what makes you happy. In my case, although I enjoyed my job (for the most part), I had many, many other things I wanted to do and experience in my life, other than my job. So, I retired at age 54 1/2, when I thought I had enough resources to cover my needs for the foreseeable future, and I have no regrets. I have been able to do many things these last 6 years that I would never have been able to do, had I been still working. So you really need to do some soul searching about how you want to spend the rest of your life......and once you answer that question (honestly), you will be on the path to the type of fulfillment you are seeking.

 

[DawgMan]

I can only answer your questions from the perspective of my own experience. We all have only so much time on this earth (and nobody knows in advance exactly how much time that is ). You can choose to spend that time working longer, and making more money, or you can retire to do other things with your life, when you think you have enough resources. It's fine to keep working longer, if that is what makes you happy. In my case, although I enjoyed my job (for the most part), I had many, many other things I wanted to do and experience in my life, other than my job. So, I retired at age 54 1/2, when I thought I had enough resources to cover my needs for the foreseeable future, and I have no regrets. I have been able to do many things these last 6 years that I would never have been able to do, had I been still working. So you really need to do some soul searching about how you want to spend the rest of your life......and once you answer that question (honestly), you will be on the path to the type of fulfillment you are seeking.

thanks for sharing. I'm with you on the soul searching. I'm trying to "simplify" and focus on what's REALY important in life. For some of us, when you are wired to "chase" or hunt for the family, its tough to unplug from the matrix. I have always adired those who have found th secret sauce.

 

[REWahoo]

DawgMan, we're all wired differently and for some the secret sauce remains a secret.

You may be one of those personality types that really isn't cut out for retirement and needs to "chase" something to be happy. Be thankful you have work you don't dislike, and I'd recommend you stay with it until you figure out something else you'd prefer to do.

 

[Mulligan]

I agree with RE, Dawgman. I retired at 45, did some part-time work for a few months a year, and have now totally faded away from that at current age of 51. My job entailed, constant socialization and managing 100 other professionals. Today, I havent spoken a word to a sole today. My GF is tired tonight so I am not bothering here. I have an afternoon beer appointment with a couple friends tomm. though. I golf, bet, drink on social outings once a week, hang out with GF, visit daughter once a week, trade stocks some, workout, and read internet and watch tv.
That is me now despite the fact I was a very visible person in town.
My point is....I LOVE doing this, finally being a nobody, with no responsibilities. That may not be you.
You didn't directly come out and say if you are worried about maintaining your lifestyle with your accumulated assets. I am so glad I have a pension, because I would not have retired early as I would have been worried about running out of money.
Maybe you should reflect a bit just to make sure 55 is not "too arbitrary", and that is still the proper time that suits you personally. If I could have retired at 30 I would have, so I definitely don't regret it. That may not be your path to enjoyment though. Good luck with the process...


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[DawgMan]

I agree with RE, Dawgman. I retired at 45, did some part-time work for a few months a year, and have now totally faded away from that at current age of 51. My job entailed, constant socialization and managing 100 other professionals. Today, I havent spoken a word to a sole today. My GF is tired tonight so I am not bothering here. I have an afternoon beer appointment with a couple friends tomm. though. I golf, bet, drink on social outings once a week, hang out with GF, visit daughter once a week, trade stocks some, workout, and read internet and watch tv.
That is me now despite the fact I was a very visible person in town.
My point is....I LOVE doing this, finally being a nobody, with no responsibilities. That may not be you.
You didn't directly come out and say if you are worried about maintaining your lifestyle with your accumulated assets. I am so glad I have a pension, because I would not have retired early as I would have been worried about running out of money.
Maybe you should reflect a bit just to make sure 55 is not "too arbitrary", and that is still the proper time that suits you personally. If I could have retired at 30 I would have, so I definitely don't regret it. That may not be your path to enjoyment though. Good luck with the process...


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Like your style! You and I are the same age so we can relate from there. I would like to think I can down shift and turn off the motor. DW has gotten accustomed to the good life so down shifting is something we both need to adjust too. No pension here, I am it. I don't want any regrets so trying to balance quit chasing the dollar with living the dream. Just need to define the dream. In my biz, it's hard to go part time. I have created a work/play balance that has worked so far, just hoping the full step off will be what I had hoped.

 

[FlaGator]

Understand the concern about suddenly stopping. I set aside my FT job about a year ago - wife had died, 2 young kids at home that I didn't want to have raised by someone else. Had enough to live as we had, so wrapped it up.

Then moved 600 miles away (better place for the kids) and ended up investing in a local start up. Part time commitment, just providing financial and other management guidance. Keeps some goals and tasks with deadlines in front of me, and there is a mental challenge applying prior experiences in this situation. If it works, will be far more financially rewarding than any PT work I could find. If not, lifestyle won't be affected. Perhaps there is an opportunity like that for you?

 

[Mulligan]

Like your style! You and I are the same age so we can relate from there. I would like to think I can down shift and turn off the motor. DW has gotten accustomed to the good life so down shifting is something we both need to adjust too. No pension here, I am it. I don't want any regrets so trying to balance quit chasing the dollar with living the dream. Just need to define the dream. In my biz, it's hard to go part time. I have created a work/play balance that has worked so far, just hoping the full step off will be what I had hoped.

Are you suggesting that "downshifting" means spending less in order to retire, or at least feel safe about retiring? Will she be on board with this? Saying and doing are two different things as we know....Our relative situations for retiring are about opposite though.. I am single, so I control all the spending. Also, most of my life I didn't make a lot of money. It ramped up considerably the last 7 years which left my pension higher than most of my working years. I never really ramped up my lifestyle, so I only spend about 60% of my pension.
If there was a 100k job I enjoyed doing I would consider doing it and ramping up my lifestyle, so don't apologize for having a 200k lifestyle.
But for me my 50k lifestyle isn't much different than what spending my entire 80k pension lifestyle would be, so I just save it...
Now 200k, I could definitely have a better lifestyle and would eventually be forced to enjoy it!


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[LitGal]

I can only answer your questions from the perspective of my own experience. We all have only so much time on this earth (and nobody knows in advance exactly how much time that is ). You can choose to spend that time working longer, and making more money, or you can retire to do other things with your life, when you think you have enough resources. It's fine to keep working longer, if that is what makes you happy. In my case, although I enjoyed my job (for the most part), I had many, many other things I wanted to do and experience in my life, other than my job. So, I retired at age 54 1/2, when I thought I had enough resources to cover my needs for the foreseeable future, and I have no regrets. I have been able to do many things these last 6 years that I would never have been able to do, had I been still working. So you really need to do some soul searching about how you want to spend the rest of your life......and once you answer that question (honestly), you will be on the path to the type of fulfillment you are seeking.

+1 though I didn't retire until 59, which may not sound like very "early" retirement. But, at the time, the financial sacrifices were worth it (to a teacher who would have had a larger pension and more savings if I worked until 63). Nonetheless, DH's health was waning and we had always dreamed of having some retirement time together. We ended up having two pretty good years, then one in which his health deteriorated until he passed away a year ago this month.

I wouldn't trade-- for anything-- the time we had together.

Now I pursue other myriad interests I'd dreamed of enjoying in retirement. Loved my career..........but (IMHO) there is so much more to life than "stuff" and professional success. DH and I always LBOM'd, lived most years in the 15-25% tax bracket, yet enjoyed symphony subscriptions, nice vacations, volunteer work, family, and friends. That was the lifestyle that always appealed to us; so what we considered a "comfortable retirement" probably didn't require as big a nest egg as it might for some folks.

Personally, I don't think your question is at all "mushy." I think you are addressing the realities of one's later decades. How one faces life--philosophically--- can determine one's happiness, one's sense of having lived a "worthwhile life." If we don't determine what is worthwhile, when will we know if our life was "worth it"? Or do we simply arrive at death's door without even asking the question?

And do we care about our "worth," beyond dollars, cents, and/or society's measures of value?

Our days are numbered. Each one is precious. It has been a privilege to enjoy 3.5 years, so far, of choosing how I will spend each priceless day.

You are free to do the same. Best wishes as you carve out-- in the way YOU see fit-- the days, weeks, months and years of your future. Adventure awaits you!

 

[Sunset]

I too had set an arbitrary 55 number, then frankly I forgot about it so did a few extra.

So you will need 5MM socked away at a minimum for a 200K income, did you run fireCalc to check your numbers ?
Since you were self employed did you build up SS credits or work for cash?
Are you really sure your wife is fine letting the maid go ?

I satisfy my hunting instinct by getting great deals at the grocery store, redbox movies for free, working 5-6 weeks a year for pay, and giving my self all sorts of "do-gooder" jobs helping out very elderly folks.

Frankly I found I really like not being on somebody's clock.

 

[jabbahop]

I am 8 months in to FIRE at 55. My younger twin sons are juniors in HS so my wife and I are preparing but not yet living our next chapter (snowbird, travel, etc.).

I didn't retire with a plan, just felt like I had done enough and wanted to slow down and own my own day. I love the flexibility and freedom but a months ago I realized I haven't found something that tickles the intellectual itch yet. It took me a while to find the right fit for my first career and rushing back to that though that would be easy but counter productive since I wouldn't have the time to explore. I figure I have lots of time to slowly explore things and find a solution for the next 30 years.

In terms of the money machine transition... We did a lot of what if scenarios and modeling since we too had created a higher end life style over he years. Those models and scenarios helped us figure out what was necessary/valuable and superfluous. Like most here we have a good buffer built in so don't have worries unless all hell breaks loose. We are just reaching the time of year I would have been getting our annual bonus and stock options which have been large windfalls and I have no regrets that I didn't stick around for another. It would be a substantial pad to our portfolio but the time was way more valuable.

Good luck




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[panacea]

I'm about 8 years away from my age 55 FIRE date and I'm already having many of the same questions. Our income has dramatically increased over the last few years and generally DW and I enjoy our work. Seems a little crazy to give that up too soon. But every week or two I'm reminded why working (at least full time) isn't what we want to do. Ideally, I think we'd both like to back off to 3 days a week at 50-55 but that may not be a realistic option for either of us.

Not sure how it'll all work out at this point, but I'll be watching to see how it unfolds for you. Maybe you can give me some clues as you figure things out!

 

[marko]

We had a few engineer/scientist types who were in their late, late 60's and still plugging away at the job.

A co-worker observed that "they have nothing else they'd rather be doing", whether it might golf, hobbies or family. We both found it sad.

While I truly, truly loved my job and was paid an extraordinary amount of money and perks I haven't regretted RE at age 53. To be fair, my company was sold and I was on the 'redundant' group so I didn't have much choice.

Still, I had been planning to "get on with a real life" at maybe age 58. The decider was: Yeah, you might love your job but "if you weren't getting paid to do this, would you still come to work?"

The other thing that confirmed it for me was seeing friends and former co-workers in the obituaries every month or two.

Having walked away from it all, I have to say that, for myself anyway it has been a huge blessing and I wouldn't change a thing.

 

[DawgMan]

I too had set an arbitrary 55 number, then frankly I forgot about it so did a few extra.

So you will need 5MM socked away at a minimum for a 200K income, did you run fireCalc to check your numbers ?
Since you were self employed did you build up SS credits or work for cash?
Are you really sure your wife is fine letting the maid go ?

I satisfy my hunting instinct by getting great deals at the grocery store, redbox movies for free, working 5-6 weeks a year for pay, and giving my self all sorts of "do-gooder" jobs helping out very elderly folks.

Frankly I found I really like not being on somebody's clock.

Yep, I've run the FIREcalc and I am tracking to meet my number. I also have paid the max into SS so perhaps will have that (or parts of it if still around) one day, but frankly have made assumptions without it. Working on the wife and trying to "de-materialize" and focus on experiences, not things.

 

[DawgMan]

I am 8 months in to FIRE at 55. My younger twin sons are juniors in HS so my wife and I are preparing but not yet living our next chapter (snowbird, travel, etc.).

I didn't retire with a plan, just felt like I had done enough and wanted to slow down and own my own day. I love the flexibility and freedom but a months ago I realized I haven't found something that tickles the intellectual itch yet. It took me a while to find the right fit for my first career and rushing back to that though that would be easy but counter productive since I wouldn't have the time to explore. I figure I have lots of time to slowly explore things and find a solution for the next 30 years.

In terms of the money machine transition... We did a lot of what if scenarios and modeling since we too had created a higher end life style over he years. Those models and scenarios helped us figure out what was necessary/valuable and superfluous. Like most here we have a good buffer built in so don't have worries unless all hell breaks loose. We are just reaching the time of year I would have been getting our annual bonus and stock options which have been large windfalls and I have no regrets that I didn't stick around for another. It would be a substantial pad to our portfolio but the time was way more valuable.

Good luck




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I'm looking for your Zen still... perhaps it will materialize once I jump!

 

[DawgMan]

We had a few engineer/scientist types who were in their late, late 60's and still plugging away at the job.

A co-worker observed that "they have nothing else they'd rather be doing", whether it might golf, hobbies or family. We both found it sad.

While I truly, truly loved my job and was paid an extraordinary amount of money and perks I haven't regretted RE at age 53. To be fair, my company was sold and I was on the 'redundant' group so I didn't have much choice.

Still, I had been planning to "get on with a real life" at maybe age 58. The decider was: Yeah, you might love your job but "if you weren't getting paid to do this, would you still come to work?"

The other thing that confirmed it for me was seeing friends and former co-workers in the obituaries every month or two.

Having walked away from it all, I have to say that, for myself anyway it has been a huge blessing and I wouldn't change a thing.

In my case, if I am being honest, my income is too good right now that padding the bank account is just too attractive. Right now the cycle in my industry is too good, but I am no dummie and know it runs in cycles. My thought is I can run my biz and keep it somewhat fruitful for another 4 yrs as long as it is somewhat fun. Once it becomes no fun or the income to fun ratio goes the other way, I suppose that will be my signal similar to your experience.

 

[jabbahop]

A few minutes ago I went to a wake for a 53 year old father who was a coach for my kids. He passed away suddenly on xmas eve. Greeting his kids and wife With my kids and wife - brutal and feel so blessed to spend the time with my family.


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[Ed_The_Gypsy]

First, it sounds as if you do not want to pull the plug yet. That is OK.

Second, What do you want to do? Fish? Build houses for Habitat? Build hot rods? Write short stories? Play golf? Visit every art museum in the world? Walk the Cascade Trail? See the aurora? Go to Antarctica? Learn to write poetry in Chinese?

Write an action plan. Write a new one every week.

I find that writing things down helps me to focus.

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[pb4uski]

Dawg, my story is similar to yours but probably not as affluent.... but I liked my job, in the later years was making obscene $$ for how hard I worked (but had previously had worked crazy hard for many years to get to that position) and was FI.

What it came down to for me was that we had enough to live comfortably for the rest of our lives in the lifestyle that we enjoyed and working longer was effectively just making our kids richer heirs. I have other things I want to do with my time, and our kids are both out on their own and doing well (one better than the other but that is a whole different story) so there seemed to be little purpose to keep working when there were so many other better things to do. Besides, I would just soon that our kids earn their own way like we did and I think they will, and if they don't I can rest comfortably that we provided them the tools.

My transition was easy because I was an employee. I just told the boss that i would be leaving in a few months and we worked something out that worked for the both of us. But the reality is that he knew I would be leaving and I probably ended up staying longer then he thought I would.

 

[DawgMan]

Dawg, my story is similar to yours but probably not as affluent.... but I liked my job, in the later years was making obscene $$ for how hard I worked (but had previously had worked crazy hard for many years to get to that position) and was FI.

What it came down to for me was that we had enough to live comfortably for the rest of our lives in the lifestyle that we enjoyed and working longer was effectively just making our kids richer heirs. I have other things I want to do with my time, and our kids are both out on their own and doing well (one better than the other but that is a whole different story) so there seemed to be little purpose to keep working when there were so many other better things to do. Besides, I would just soon that our kids earn their own way like we did and I think they will, and if they don't I can rest comfortably that we provided them the tools.

My transition was easy because I was an employee. I just told the boss that i would be leaving in a few months and we worked something out that worked for the both of us. But the reality is that he knew I would be leaving and I probably ended up staying longer then he thought I would.

I'm with you on the providing my kids the tools philosophy vs feeding them cash as adults. They have to stand on their own at some point or the world will get the best of them. Can't tell you how many peers of mine continue to spoon feed their adult children... frankly, feel sorry for the kids.

I'm working on the "retiring too" options. It's important to me that I have at least a few things that really get me up in the morning before I launch. While I enjoy golf from time to time, kicking back and drinking a cold beer, I need a "project" that keeps me feeling like I am doing something productive. Using these next few years to try and iron all this out. I don't want to be one of those guys who quits and the says oh ****, now what do I do.