Thanks. Well. I can see that I won't get to this in one fell swoop. I'm finding time is at a premium. And actually it's a lot harder to write this post than I anticipated. I know what I want to say but not quite sure how to say it. So far, one year in, retirement has been, in a few words:
Massive change - with our FIRE plans came an international move back to America, Resettling our kids, living near family for the first time in decades, empty nesting with one of two kids heading to college, learning to budget and navigate in the USA again.
It's also included a new post FIRE "career" for both me and DW- I took on a teaching role in exchange for free tuition and am a year closer and several credits to a masters degree - oh that too. Going back to school as a student after several decades is not easy. The degree- It's totally just a bucket list thing and am wondering if it's worth it just to say I did it. Subconsciously Maybe it's more of a way to add to my capabilities if ever returning to work were required eg. pacify my fear (see below)
DW also working part time just to meet some people and social interaction because we live in the countryside and it's too quiet just talking to the dog all day...
What I have found is that the mind does not turn off so easily after multiple decades in a high paced mega Corp especially in a fast paced industry. Also proves I'm never too old to learn new stuff - keep your mind busy and have purpose. What ever that may be.
Biggest concern for me - I Still have Massive and deep seated money fear: while the math looked more than good, I continue to be a nervous Nellie about money and finances. January didn't help either with the fears of bad sequence of returns. I continue to worry about money. I'm a worrier by nature. Firecalc and other calculators say we are good. WR is nicely below 4%. But still I worry -- will I have to pay for mom who is in assisted living. Will we have financial hardships later. Will the kids launch (one is struggling to readjust Etc ). This has been mentally tiring and I can't let go of the fear. I find my frugal behavior is at times irrational. I just can't get my head around spending down. Even my post fire WR budget is snipped here and there to stretch portfolio out. Not having pension, SS 20 years away, and having to do it all myself may be part of the fear. It's huge for me. I can not under stress that point. Huge. Then I get reminded that dead men have no pockets and try to loosen up. Has not been easy. We don't yet have a mechanized approach to draw down either. Asset allocation is still being adjusted too. Guess that part is normal. Nothing is on auto pilot yet. Too early to do that. A few arguments over petty money matters. Mostly my fault as I forgot we have money in the bank . I do get more aggravated when wife or kids waste money especially now that it's finite.
We are running a lazy portfolio now and I don't like bonds. AA is 85/15. Next post can discuss money status in more detail. What our budget is etc.
College classes do seem a lot like work at times.
Accepting that Yes we are strange: People can't figure out why we are young and retired. Relatives judge us a little negatively. This combined with frugality make some think we are broke. We drive 20 year old cars. Live in a modest home... Look completely middle class. Frumpy and middle aged. Wife is not a fashionista at all. Blend in.
When I suggest retired, they think we should be much older, that I was victim of a layoff or they suspect some inheritance etc which of course didn't happen for us. Out look throws them off. We are average just like them but we don't need to work.
It's gotten to the point where now I purposely and pointedly use the word retired and say I worked my tail off so I could stop working early. I don't at all hide that fact that I earned it the hard way. In fact, maybe I'm narcissistic in that "tell" has become a great source of entertainment for me to then watch people's gears turn and then they squirm a bit with disbelief and curiosity and their own self denial ...
Being early retired is more lonely than I thought. It is very very difficult to find a similar friend group at my upper 40's age.
This board has been helpful and I interact with my mba students but only professionally.
I find meeting the "old" people hanging at McDonald's in the morning is entertaining - lots of wise "old" retirees hang out there. My dad used to hang out there before he passed and he told me once it's the only place he could find people to leisurely chat with on a Tuesday morning at 9:30 am when everyone else was rushing to and fro.
Marriage is ok - but an area that I want to pay more attention to. It's gotten a bit stale combo of a middle aged marriage and me working all the time before FIRE. Lucky to have her and need to show it more. I'm more conscious of, and ok spending a little money for the occasional spouse date. I was glad she went back to work part time because even PT, her insurance is covered and anything she brings it reduces our stash draw down. Plus she enjoys the social aspect as she is high Introvert and would otherwise not meet many people.
I do not miss the travel for work at all. Infact I've not been on an airplane in 6 months and that's after being multi million miler -- seeing the airline status go to " not ****" status has been sad. But I do not miss long commutes or work travel one iota
As for travel, we spent 2 decades traveling as a family. I'm enjoying my chunk of land and not traveling. Plus we have a kid in HS and parents really need our help as they age so being on terra firma for a while has been surprisingly ok for me, a person who was always moving around or traveling and is a global nomad. We will definitely get back to that at some later stage.
I do wish I had taken more thinking time to be more purposeful with some of my time. I'm busy. Not sure if that activity leads to something productive.
I need to exercise. Pay attention to health. That's been one of the big gaps during year 1. I do like to cook and cook more at home but exercise took a back seat because I got so busy with other stuff. I need to fix that in year 2 of FIRE. After I finish the masters degree.
Ok- that's a start to some ramblings. Overall I am glad I FIRED but still after a year am just getting the hang of some of the very basics. A few things I wish I had done differently too.
More to follow.
Interesting. I'm coming up on a year in a couple of weeks and my experience has quite the opposite:
1) I purposely delayed making any moves after retirement because I've read too many recommendations against it. It also gives me time to thoroughly explore relocation locations in order to avoid the expense of multiple moves. I was affected by this blog regarding the financial/emotional impact of hastily selecting a retirement relocation destination (in this case, Florida):
Read the Florida Move Guide Before Moving | Indie Publisher
I moved to Florida in the mid ’90’s and worked full time as a real estate agent and broker. I saw the pattern repeated over and over. People would move to Florida to fulfill a dream. Then realize that living there was far different than what they expected. Then move out. This is great for real estate agents, moving companies, “Florida lifestyle” furniture stores and others who make thousands of dollars when you move down, and then again when you move out, but it was often devastating both financially and emotionally to the folks who thought they were “permanently” moving or retiring to Florida.
2) I have
absolutely no desire to pursue any sort of formal education, as I already have a graduate degree and certifications in my former field. Retiring means I know longer jump through those hoops. In fact, I came *this* close to throwing out all of my diplomas (did throw out the expensive office wall frames), as they belong to another life, someone I used to be. I'll be giving away the last of my business clothes (ties/suits) having decided if any occasion requires wearing a tie, I don't want to be there.
3) I live in a city of millions and millions and millions of people and can't wait to relocate to something much smaller. This place has infinitely too much cacophony, theatrics, and histrionics in the guise of social interaction for someone with my limited social needs.
4) Not at all worried about running out of money, and maybe that's because I have several backup plans. This "what, me worry?" attitude is the exact opposite of my level of worry/"having to be sure" before retirement, and it's surprising. One thing that has really helped is a 40/60 AA to help mitigate sequence of returns risk for the next 5 years or so. As a result, I've barely noticed the past year's market volatility in my PF.
5) Deeper into retirement I get the more I'm craving simplicity. After years of reading Pfau, Kitces, Cotton, Bernstein, blogs, blogs, blogs and all the rest, there's just not a lot more to do (I'm
really really over the whole 4% WR debate). The PF is set, the plan is set, so I find myself spending a lot less time second guessing what I've set up. Surprising but freeing at the same time.
6) Without gushing, this has been a magical year. So much accomplished that benefited
me for a change. So
much stress eliminated. So
much time eliminated feeling harried, rushed, spent. A very real sense of
how much of my life was sacrificed at the expense of working for someone else solving someone else's problems while chasing the brass ring. And for what? Seems bizarre now.
7) Perhaps the most surprising aspect has been how much my attitude has changed with regard to tolerating BS. Retirement for me brings a sense of entitlement, as in, "I'm retired, and I don't have too put up with that anymore." Without exception, everyone has been impressed and even a bit jealous when I tell them I'm retired. Maybe that's because it took so much to get here, and I'm proud having done it.
