History repeats itself: must be me...

[donheff]

I was on the board of the HOA for my weekend home for years. There were several retired military including two flag level take charge guys who were decent enough but loved to dish out time wasting assignments. I like to contribute but heck - I'm retired, so no BS assignments for me. I volunteered to be the Treasurer which involved a fair amount of work but on my schedule. I refused any other assignments but was appreciated for taking a big one on. That lasted for about 10 years after which I passed the baton off and dropped off the Board.

Midpack - I think your exit email is a good one. Better to just politely move on than to drop a rant on them. If they ask you can explain your frustration privately and hope for the best.

 

[Midpack]

Midpack - I think your exit email is a good one. Better to just politely move on than to drop a rant on them. If they ask you can explain your frustration privately and hope for the best.

Thanks. I remain a member, like some friends and most board members. I'd like nothing more than to resume helping the club again one day, if the BSer and the narcissist change (not holding my breath)...

 

[Amethyst]

They can't change, and anyway, why should they? Being what they are has worked for them all their lives.

During most of my career, I was a supervisor or manager, and I learned much from my direct reports that they never meant to teach me. What I learned is that people do what they have to, to get whatever it is that they want. Some people are competent and do good things. Other people develop "work-arounds"- usually personality "quirks" such as BSing - because they are either incompetent, or too lazy to be as competent as they could have been. As I was fond of observing to my management, "His/her skills lie in other areas." They always knew what I meant.

Amethyst

 

[Racer X]

As I often (mostly jokingly) tell some of my employees: "The only common denominator in all of your dysfunctional relationships is you."

 

[braumeister]

He pestered me for several days to create a member only login for the website mid Jan - I didn't know how, so I figured it out, created/added member only docs, updated the site, and gave the whole board the passwords. They still haven't acknowledged (much less 'thanks') or shared with any members...

I was in almost exactly the same situation a few years ago, but I took it on myself to notify the membership so they could take advantage of it. Few did. I hadn't realized that there was widespread disillusionment with the leadership -- it wasn't just me.

When I had reached my limit, I did exactly the same thing you did, although I gave them several months instead of just one for the transition.

Even though that was several years ago, they still haven't found a replacement capable of doing the same things, so their electronic communications have just gotten older and less useful. Sad, but I had already dropped out of the active role and have no intention of taking it up again.

 

[target2019]

I retired 4 years ago in lesser part because though I liked most of my employees and customers, I didn't respect top management.

Now I am a key member of a club, contributing substantial work for several years, involved in an activity I am passionate about. I like most of the members and everyone on the board except the top two guys, the bullshitter and the narcissist. Once again, I find myself ready to give up my voluntary role with the club altogether.

I know that when you can't get along with someone, it's often because they're too much like you! Still trying to assess that possibility.

Must be me...

[/rant]

I volunteered in technical society, and youth sports. Never really had a megacorp experience prior to these, so it was disappointing that board members often had goals that were dissimilar to mine.

I hate structure, but think everyone else should follow the rules. I think that puts me in narcissistic mode. But I've learned to try swing pendulum in opposite direction.

I am much happier when I avoid these cluster situations where much is discussed but little is solved. Introverts should stay out of gatherings...

Back to your situation...It is likely that the top two have those jobs because kindred souls such as yourself would grow tired of leadership. It takes a thick layer of BS to keep groups together.

Also seems you get little recognition for your work, so I'd just toss it aside and find another group.

F-I-L has been mired in such groups for over 35 years I've known him. The work he does for them may save 5-10K per year. They just give him more grief each year.

I volunteer web stuff to one organization. But I have little contact with the administration. I do my thing and it is done.

 

[Midpack]

When I had reached my limit, I did exactly the same thing you did, although I gave them several months instead of just one for the transition.

One month was a starting point. If I gave them several months or left it open ended, they'd never even look for a replacement. It's been an all talk, little action board for years. I expect they will be urgently asking me to help with communications in late April and beyond.

When I took over the website, Facebook, etc. there'd been no activity for 1-2 years, and dead links everywhere. Outsiders thought the club had ceased to exist, membership had dropped to a new low.

Even though I had no experience, I volunteered to step in, anxious to help. What they have now [-]is[/-] was kept very current, with far more activity/participation and way more bells and whistles. I hope someone will take the baton, I give it 50:50 odds, but that's up to them, I'm done. No good deed goes unpunished...

[/done patting myself on the back]

 

[Options]

One month was a starting point. If I gave them several months or left it open ended, they'd never even look for a replacement. It's been an all talk, little action board for years. I expect they will be urgently asking me to help with communications in late April and beyond.

When I took over the website, Facebook, etc. there'd been no activity for 1-2 years, and dead links everywhere. Outsiders thought the club had ceased to exist, membership had dropped to a new low.

Even though I had no experience, I volunteered to step in, anxious to help. What they have now [-]is[/-] was kept very current, with far more activity/participation and way more bells and whistles. I hope someone will take the baton, I give it 50:50 odds, but that's up to them, I'm done. No good deed goes unpunished...

[/done patting myself on the back]

Wow, I'm having a hard time understanding why you would even put up with all of that. Give them a month? Given the email you mentioned receiving up thread, no way would I do that. You're retired, you no longer have to be a victim of anyone's stressful or b.s. actions, for any reason. Maybe it's because I put with so much bureaucracy and incompetence while working. I have an "unconscious" deal with myself to never get into any of that again, and will have no problem separating myself immediately (or soon thereafter) from situations that stress me out. I didn't retire to walk right back into what I walked out of.

 

[Sarah in SC]

You done good, midpack.
That was really sobering to think that even the biggest 'hats you actually worked for were better than these two.
Stay firm and prepare to duck and dodge come the end of the month.

 

[ERD50]

...

He pestered me for several days to create a member only login for the website mid Jan - I didn't know how, so I figured it out, created/added member only docs, updated the site, and gave the whole board the passwords. They still haven't acknowledged (much less 'thanks') or shared with any members...

Of course only you can decide to step down or not, and it may well be the right thing for you to do. But I can't help but wonder - if they haven't even acknowledged the 'members only' site addition you made, or shared it with anyone, did you ask why?

Maybe they just expected you to make the announcement to members? I've found that in similar situations, waiting for feedback, or asking for suggestions often falls flat. But doing something and just saying "I'll release this next week, unless you see any changes you'd like made" is what it takes to get things moving.

-ERD50

 

[MichaelB]

I guess everything happens for a reason. The bullshitter just emailed me, copying the Board, with yet another vague, meaningless assignment that'll go nowhere. As usual he doesn't know (or care) what's required. So I replied all with the message quoted below.

Thanks for the support (here) guys...

He pestered me for several days to create a member only login for the website mid Jan - I didn't know how, so I figured it out, created/added member only docs, updated the site, and gave the whole board the passwords. They still haven't acknowledged (much less 'thanks') or shared with any members...

Maybe it's time to focus on the "R" part of ER. If that's the case, welcome aboard.

 

[Lsbcal]

We all have egos and it's tougher for some then others to surpress the urge to showoff, dominate, or acquire power.

I've been working at ego suppression for some time now (no wise cracks allowed ). I've concluded that I don't want to join pecking orders. This thread confirms I've been on the right path ... for me.

Good luck Midpack on your path.

 

[Mulligan]

We all have egos and it's tougher for some then others to surpress the urge to showoff, dominate, or acquire power.



I've been working at ego suppression for some time now (no wise cracks allowed ). I've concluded that I don't want to join pecking orders. This thread confirms I've been on the right path ... for me.



Good luck Midpack on your path.

I had to be "The Boss" for 10 years with all it entailed.... Been retired for 6 years and love being an invisible nobody. Probably why I don't miss it is because being "in charge" was not an original aspiration. But in the end it was worth it, though that book is closed now, thankfully.