The final say in diet advice

[timo2]

This was floating around facebook, without attribution. I think it sums up proper nutrition just fine.

 

[MarieIG]

 

[Mdlerth]

Does whisky count as beer?

I notice the list is silent on the subject of beer, so the obvious conclusion is that beer, aka "liquid bread", is the perfect food. I invite everyone to hoist one and toast each other's good health.

 

[audreyh1]

That was indeed funny....

 

[unclemick]

My Doc in Missouri went to school in New Orleans. 2006 said I had to give up my New Orleans diet.

heh heh heh - So now I do KC BBQ and take pills for BP and cholesterol.

 

[JAGOTI]

Hilarious!!

My personal formula is this : Eat less, move more.

 

[MRG]

Wow, as someone who did a lot of reading about diet that's too close to reality.

 

[Red Badger]

Perfect. It just needs to be updated monthly (or weekly. daily, etc) with the new "must do" and "verboten" items du jour....

 

[jollystomper]

My favorite piece of diet advice:

Everything in moderation. Including moderation.

 

[The Cosmic Avenger]

I notice the list is silent on the subject of beer, so the obvious conclusion is that beer, aka "liquid bread", is the perfect food. I invite everyone to hoist one and toast each other's good health.

How is there no :beer: smiley??!? Well, cheers! [Hoists a pint]

 

[Aerides]

Remember, there is food in beer, but there is no beer in food.

 

[The Cosmic Avenger]

Remember, there is food in beer, but there is no beer in food.

Then you're doing it wrong!

 

[Bir48die]

You forgot to mention this conclusion was from a study of 250,000 doctors, nutritionists and fitness experts that can't come to any agreement on proper diet and exercise habits.

 

[MRG]

You forgot to mention this conclusion was from a study of 250,000 doctors, nutritionists and fitness experts that can't come to any agreement on proper diet and exercise habits.

Doctors have less training about nutrition than ED Jones gives their salespeople about investing.

 

[Chuckanut]

I have read and re-read the advice, and have concluded that nobody could give better advice.

 

[Nemo2]

I have read and re-read the advice, and have concluded that nobody could give better advice.

I luvs me a double entendre!

 

[MichaelB]

I luvs me a double entendre!

Is that anything like a double cheeseburger with a diet coke?

 

[Nemo2]

Is that anything like a double cheeseburger with a diet coke?

Don't drink pop, so I'll have to ask my doppelgänger.

 

[WestUniversity]

My favorite piece of diet advice:

Everything in moderation. Including moderation.

So true...

 

[HFWR]

Nothing like good advice...

 

[skipro33]

A Wise Chinese Doctor.
Q: Doctor, I’ve heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A: Your heart only good for so many beats, and that it…don’t waste on exercise. Everything wear out eventually. Speeding up heart not make you live longer; it like saying you extend life of car by driving faster. Want to live longer? Take nap.
Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiency. What does cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So steak is nothing more than efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef also good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And pork chop can give you 100% of recommended daily allowance of vegetable product.
Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that mean they take water out of fruity bit so you get even more of goodness that way. Beer also made of grain. Bottom up!
Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have body and you have fat, your ratio one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio two to one, etc.
Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can’t think of single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No pain…good!

Q: Aren’t fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU NOT LISTENING! Food are fried these day in vegetable oil. In fact, they permeated by it. How could getting more vegetable be bad for you?!?
Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle? A: Definitely not! When you exercise muscle, it get bigger. You should only be doing sit-up if you want bigger stomach.
Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy?!? HEL-LO-O!! Cocoa bean! Another vegetable! It best feel-good food around!
Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming good for your figure, explain whale to me..
Q: Is getting in shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! ‘Round’ a shape!
Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

 

[Walt34]

And don't forget to partake regularly of the four basic food groups as relayed to me by a nurse:

1. Sugar
2. Salt
3. Fat
4. Alcohol

 

[braumeister]

And don't forget to partake regularly of the four basic food groups as relayed to me by a nurse:

1. Sugar
2. Salt
3. Fat
4. Alcohol

I was told it was caffeine, sugar, fat and alcohol, making Irish Coffee the perfect complete meal.

 

[Scuba]

A Wise Chinese Doctor.
Q: Doctor, I’ve heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A: Your heart only good for so many beats, and that it…don’t waste on exercise. Everything wear out eventually. Speeding up heart not make you live longer; it like saying you extend life of car by driving faster. Want to live longer? Take nap.
Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiency. What does cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So steak is nothing more than efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef also good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And pork chop can give you 100% of recommended daily allowance of vegetable product.
Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that mean they take water out of fruity bit so you get even more of goodness that way. Beer also made of grain. Bottom up!
Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have body and you have fat, your ratio one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio two to one, etc.
Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can’t think of single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No pain…good!

Q: Aren’t fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU NOT LISTENING! Food are fried these day in vegetable oil. In fact, they permeated by it. How could getting more vegetable be bad for you?!?
Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle? A: Definitely not! When you exercise muscle, it get bigger. You should only be doing sit-up if you want bigger stomach.
Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy?!? HEL-LO-O!! Cocoa bean! Another vegetable! It best feel-good food around!
Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming good for your figure, explain whale to me..
Q: Is getting in shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! ‘Round’ a shape!
Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

[emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]

 

[HFWR]

Never eat on an empty stomach...