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Thanks, Nords. Right to the point.
Right now, I'd about as soon go "do-it-yourself" on a hot 220 breaker box as to dive into this financial stuff. Electricity and money management have about the same appeal to me. With electricity, though, at least you can (usually) get what you pay for in a professional.
Self-education appears the only way out.
Is "Boglehead's Guide" the obvious starting point?
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Can eat with either hand.
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