[W2R]

Quote:

Originally Posted by samclem My daughter wants a car. She's 19, and has made the decision not to go to college at this point, she wants to get a cosmetology license instead. If she were attending college, DW and I would pay her tuition and board, and had planned to get her a very used car at the end of her first year of school. As it is, she's working about 45 hours/week at two fast food jobs. She's living at home, but she's saving up money for this car and to pay 1/2 of the rent in a cheap apartment she's going to share with a girlfriend. Signed the lease--she's committed and will be moving out as soon as she has a car. Oh, and the cosmetology school costs about $14k--pay up front, it takes about 18 months, then you're qualified to go out and earn the avg of $17k per year. My preference has been to let her save for/buy the car herself. The sooner she feels what life is really like (IMO), including the real cost of things, etc, perhaps the sooner she'll decide that college isn't such a bad idea. She's working her tail off at these jobs, which is a very important part of her "education," IMO. She's saved $700. That's the background. Much as I'd like her to have the experience (and the pride) of earning the $$ for her own car all by herself, I also want her to have a safe car. My guess is that she'll buy the cheapest thing she can get. New drivers crash a lot, and I can't say she's the most attentive driver on the road. DW and I have discussed possibly matching her investment in the car 1:1 if it meets certain criteria -- maybe a min of "acceptable" in the IIHS frontal crash tests, min wight of 3000#, air bags (driver's side-curtain bag, too?). Buying her a car outright is not an option. It's not about the money: she needs to experience the reality of life as soon as possible so she can make some good decisions. She already threw away $6k in tuition and dorm fees while barely even attending classes. The clue light needs to come on. So, opinions are solicited. What would you do? Stay out of this? Help her buy a car (thus denying her the satisfaction of earning it, but also helping to encourage her to get a safer one)? What I'd like her to get: a 2003 Taurus or Sable, with plenty of pre-existing body damage (lower price, and she'll probably do it anyway) and side airbags.

You're a parent so you know that each child is different and an approach that might work with one might not with another, and so on. So, no matter what we say on this thread, use your own instincts.

That said, when my daughter was 18, going to college full time and working 3/4 time, and living in her own apartment, we gave her my 8-year-old very lightly driven Daytona, and I got a crummy used K-car for myself. The reason we gave her my car is that she needed a safe car and we didn't see any possibility of her ending up with one on her own. We even paid for her insurance, though she had to pay for gas and maintenance. The reason we paid her insurance was that we did not have confidence that she wouldn't try to go without to save money. Later, when we were sure that she had more of a clue, she paid for her own insurance.

Had she simply been working full time, I think we would have done the same. Because she was going to college, we contributed to her other living expenses and we wouldn't have done that if she had not been going to college. However we felt the car was genuinely necessary due to her hectic schedule.

So I guess if I were in your shoes, I'd encourage her to move out and support herself, but buy her the car yourself so that you have complete control over what kind of car it is. I might even consider using the car as "bait" to get her to make the big jump from living at home to living on her own, because independence can be a good thing. At least, it was for Christina. She was always a little timid and so we were really proud and happy when she had the courage to leave home.

As for the clue light, it will happen, it will happen. Her parents have a clue and so will she. It just takes time.