ownyourfuture
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
- Joined
- Jun 18, 2013
- Messages
- 1,561
Warning: I deleted the really offensive ones, but still not recommended for those who are over-sensitive.
Enjoy (I Hope)
Strangers have the best candy
So many pedestrians, so little time
My mind works like lightning, one brilliant flash and it's gone
Stupidity is not a crime, so you’re free to go
I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth!
Watch out for the idiot behind me!
Learn from your parent’s mistakes, use birth control.
Friends help you move; real friends help you move the body.
Mothers with teenagers know why some animals eat their young
A clean car is a sign of a sick mind.
Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
Another brilliant mind ruined by higher education.
Ask me about microwaving cats for fun and profit.
Ax Me bout Ebonics
Beer: The Reason I Get Up Each Afternoon
Born Free. . . . .Taxed to Death.
Can't Feed 'Em! Don't Breed Em'!
Cat: The Other White Meat
Could You Drive Any Better If I Shoved That Cell Phone Up Your AS*?
Do not play leap frog with a unicorn.
Do Vegetarians eat animal crackers?
Everyone Is Entitled To My Opinion
Forget about World Peace...Visualize Using Your Turn Signal!
Guns don't kill people. Postal workers do.
Don't be sexist! bitches hate that!
Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW!!!
Have a nice day... somewhere else.
Honk If You've Never Seen An Uzi Fired From A Car Window
I Don’t Suffer From Insanity, I Enjoy Every Minute Of It
I gave up drugs, sex and booze...it was the worst 20 minutes of my life.
I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather...not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car....
If we are what we eat, I'm cheap, fast, and easy.
If you can read this, you're in range.
If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk.
Impotence: Nature's Way Of Saying "No Hard Feelings".
It doesn't matter what temperature a room is, it's always room temperature.
It's bad luck to be superstitious.
Money Isn't Everything, But It Sure Keeps The Kids In Touch
My child is an honor student at the state penitentiary.
My Reality Check Just Bounced
Nuke the Whales.
Oh look! just 2,852,677 more days until I start caring what you think.
Rap Is To Music, What Etch-A-Sketch Is To Art
Why can't women learn to put the toilet seat back up?
Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
Why is "abbreviation" such a long word?
Enjoy (I Hope)
Strangers have the best candy
So many pedestrians, so little time
My mind works like lightning, one brilliant flash and it's gone
Stupidity is not a crime, so you’re free to go
I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth!
Watch out for the idiot behind me!
Learn from your parent’s mistakes, use birth control.
Friends help you move; real friends help you move the body.
Mothers with teenagers know why some animals eat their young
A clean car is a sign of a sick mind.
Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
Another brilliant mind ruined by higher education.
Ask me about microwaving cats for fun and profit.
Ax Me bout Ebonics
Beer: The Reason I Get Up Each Afternoon
Born Free. . . . .Taxed to Death.
Can't Feed 'Em! Don't Breed Em'!
Cat: The Other White Meat
Could You Drive Any Better If I Shoved That Cell Phone Up Your AS*?
Do not play leap frog with a unicorn.
Do Vegetarians eat animal crackers?
Everyone Is Entitled To My Opinion
Forget about World Peace...Visualize Using Your Turn Signal!
Guns don't kill people. Postal workers do.
Don't be sexist! bitches hate that!
Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW!!!
Have a nice day... somewhere else.
Honk If You've Never Seen An Uzi Fired From A Car Window
I Don’t Suffer From Insanity, I Enjoy Every Minute Of It
I gave up drugs, sex and booze...it was the worst 20 minutes of my life.
I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather...not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car....
If we are what we eat, I'm cheap, fast, and easy.
If you can read this, you're in range.
If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk.
Impotence: Nature's Way Of Saying "No Hard Feelings".
It doesn't matter what temperature a room is, it's always room temperature.
It's bad luck to be superstitious.
Money Isn't Everything, But It Sure Keeps The Kids In Touch
My child is an honor student at the state penitentiary.
My Reality Check Just Bounced
Nuke the Whales.
Oh look! just 2,852,677 more days until I start caring what you think.
Rap Is To Music, What Etch-A-Sketch Is To Art
Why can't women learn to put the toilet seat back up?
Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
Why is "abbreviation" such a long word?
