bizarre "facts" in conversation

[GrayHare]

I have an acquaintance, nice guy, who peppers his conversation with some very wrong "facts", and I do not know how to respond reasonably, consequently the more outlandish ones become conversation stoppers. Sometimes I would laugh because I figured he was joking, only to realize by his hurt reaction that he was serious.

These "facts" run the gamut from bad science to things one might read in the Weekly World News (does that still exist?). For example, the reason it rains is because the sky and ocean are the same color. Or, "(insert name of a presidential candidate) had a sex change operation years ago". If challenged, he'll often respond, "Oh, yes, it's in the news this week. I saw it at some web site." Changing the subject doesn't work.

Other than avoiding conversation, what are some reasonable and polite ways to respond?

 

[RockyMtn]

how about the old line...."do you always believe what you read"?

Or the new line...."if it is on the internet it must be true".

 

[harley]

Or the old Red Foreman line..."dumbass!".

 

[RobbieB]

Just play along and make up stuff as you go.

"Candidate X had a sex change operation"
"Yeah, I heard he was in love with candidate Y"

 

[Meadbh]

People who go around spouting nonsense need to have their credibility challenged, IMHO. My response would be to look up the facts about one ridiculous claim from several trusted sources and present the information to him. After that, if he continues, I would ignore him.

 

[Sojourner]

I actually have a friend who is kind of similar to what you described, although not quite so blatantly outlandish. My way of dealing with this is to kind of "gloss over" these preposterous statements when they come up in conversation, maybe pushing back gently but then pivoting the conversation in a more sane direction. This seems to work pretty well for our friendship, since it's lasted for over 20 years now. The key (if you value the friendship and want it to continue, of course) is to not aggressively challenge the person, which obviously will lead to confrontations and a "digging in the heels" on both sides. Just try to steer the conversation strategically when it gets too close to anything that might elicit the more outlandish claims.

 

[tmm99]

These "facts" run the gamut from bad science to things one might read in the Weekly World News (does that still exist?). For example, the reason it rains is because the sky and ocean are the same color. Or, "(insert name of a presidential candidate) had a sex change operation years ago". If challenged, he'll often respond, "Oh, yes, it's in the news this week. I saw it at some web site." Changing the subject doesn't work.

Ah.... Is he normal (lives most of the time in fact based reality) otherwise? I am actually intrigued to find out what he is like with his personal life events.

 

[GrayHare]

Yes, I've tried the "if it's on the internet it must be true" reply and though he understands the gentle humor of my comment, he again acts hurt (and not in a facetious manner) that I would poke fun of the "fact" he related. I've not tried making up absurd stuff to continue the theme he introduced since I suspect again he'd feel hurt, but I can try it to be sure.

He intersperses these amazing "facts" within other regular, normal conversation about sports, news, travel, whatever. I'll be thinking all is fine until he'll blurt out the next one, "They found aliens on Mars yesterday! Yes, for real! Do a web search and you'll see!" When I later search online there will indeed be a fresh news story about Mars, but it will not be about Martians, it will instead mention a scientist's quote like, "If alien microbial life is ever found on Mars it may have been transported there by an asteroid."

Since these "facts" are often recent news stories, it occurs to me now perhaps he has a reading comprehension problem. He's relaying these "facts" in all seriousness. Lately I've just been nodding and saying, "Hmm."

 

[audreyh1]

Wow - if he's really a friend I think I'd discuss it with him and explains that it bothers you. You can explain it in terms of your feelings of upset. You can use the one about the Martians.

Reading comprehension problem - yeah, don't know how you get around that. But you can still explain the Martian thing as an example. But it may not do any good......

If he really doesn't understand what he's doing.....

 

[RobbieB]

Ah, he's just "adding a little" to what he reads eh? A lot of people do that.

Ok, I would just go with the flow and ask what the aliens looked like, "Chewbacca or Jabba the Hut"

Lot's of people just like to talk and if they have nothing really exciting to talk about, they "improvise". But it sounds more fun than listening to a litany of aches and pains eh?

 

[haha]

He may be psychotic. Sure this relationship is a good one?

Ha


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[twd000]

I'm afraid your friend may be a moron. There is no known cure for that particular condition.

 

[cooch96]

Ah, he's just "adding a little" to what he reads eh? A lot of people do that.

Lot's of people just like to talk and if they have nothing really exciting to talk about, they "improvise". But it sounds more fun than listening to a litany of aches and pains eh?

+1. this is an admirably glass-half-full approach.

 

[GrayHare]

Ah, he's just "adding a little" to what he reads eh? A lot of people do that.

Ok, I would just go with the flow and ask what the aliens looked like, "Chewbacca or Jabba the Hut"

The "spicing up the story" angle could be a fit, and sometimes he simply takes it too far. I'll have to try the play along approach and see how he reacts.

 

[brewer12345]

Personally, I greatly appreciate free entertainment these days. If anything, I would be egging your friend on.

 

[robertf57]

I think an honest response of "You can't honestly believe that, do you?" might work best. If he replies that he does, ask him to present the article that supports his assertion. Once or twice like this and he may wake up.

 

[RobbieB]

Personally, I greatly appreciate free entertainment these days. If anything, I would be egging your friend on.

That's the spirit!

Have fun -

 

[MRG]

Since these "facts" are often recent news stories, it occurs to me now perhaps he has a reading comprehension problem. He's relaying these "facts" in all seriousness. Lately I've just been nodding and saying, "Hmm."

Interesting he may have a issue of many sorts. I w*rked with a bunch of different folks in the past, sounds like some of the blue collar guys I w*rked with. Some people don't have critical thinking and reasoning skills. Some are LD, some just don't get one or more of the reality inputs. One older man told me he went to the first grade and then sent to share crop in the fields. He never learned to read but he had more God given common sense than many degreed folks I've known. I think there are quite a lot of folks, some seemingly normal, who would seem to be seriously whacked by the majority in some aspects of life.

When my DW and I first married we lived in a tiny, dumpy apartment with the landlords next door. They were a pleasant 70s couple, he spoke limited English, they were from Sweden. Lady asked my wife over to meet the family she often talked about. Wife meet the family, they were actors on a soap opera. Then the stories she told made sense. I have no idea what the lady's imaginary family meant, they were real to her.

We handled that situation by moving. Wasn't just because of the alternate reality next door.

 

[Mulligan]

I'm afraid your friend may be a moron. There is no known cure for that particular condition.

+1. This is the only post needed.... But there are millions of them everywhere. And my experience has been don't hold your breath for this comment while correcting them... "Gee, I am such a fool and did not realize it. Please correct me whenever I am wrong".

 

[ls99]

For more amusement just say, that is truly astounding, where did you read that.

Or the old time: is that so?

 

[target2019]

It gets worse. His vote counts as much as yours...

 

[ExFlyBoy5]

+1 on he is probably a moron.

Every Sunday, I have a Happy Hour with my Dad and a few of his friends. One of his friends is a retired legislator and newspaper editor (he's almost 80 years old) and very, VERY often will say stuff that is blatantly wrong. Stuff that was internet lore back in the early 2000's that have been rebuffed hundreds of times over, yet he still believes. He thinks Google is the devil and *any* time you mention Google (or any other online research like Wikipedia) he will shout you down. So...I learned to grin and say, "Wow! That's interesting!" and just forget it. BUT...things have gotten interesting as one of the new happy hour participants is a very intelligent retired engineer...and he calls him out on his BS very often. It's usually fairly entertaining, but then sometimes it just wears you down listening to a couple of old guys arguing about some of the dumbest things.

 

[scrabbler1]

People who go around spouting nonsense need to have their credibility challenged, IMHO. My response would be to look up the facts about one ridiculous claim from several trusted sources and present the information to him. After that, if he continues, I would ignore him.

My 85-year-old dad is becoming this way. When I was at his house a few weeks ago, I showed him two trusted sources to verify facts, http://www.factcheck.org/ and http://www.politifact.com/ . I even bookmarked both websites on his PC and opened up each one. His first question, a reasonable one, was "Who are their funders?" Each website spells that out but he still wasn't satisfied, still choosing to believe his preferred presidential, and often fact-challenged candidate at face value over anyone or anything who dares question its truthfulness.

Sadly, I can't discuss politics with him any more.

 

[kcowan]

Sadly, I can't discuss politics with him any more.

There are certain topics that are best avoided when there is a deep difference of opinion.

Discussion of facts is usually safe as long as the parties agree on the source of facts.
- health
- family relationships
- money
- religion
- race
- drinking/drugs
and I have experienced how each can get off the rails totally accidentally.

I think your friend suffers from catching snippets of facts and then generalizing. I have had a similar reaction when I ask friends to remove me from their mailing lists.

 

[Midpack]

When I was younger (and knew everything), I had a hard time not correcting bad "facts" by others. As I have gotten older, I refrain more often than not. Unless there are real consequences to the misinformation to the originator or others in the conversation, I try to let it go.

Now that I don't have all the world's knowledge cornered, I assume other listeners know better without me pointing out bad "facts." And often, others will, so I don't need to. Often times, I need only exchange a wink & a smirk with others to confirm they recognize the originator is 'mistaken.'

I can't imagine voluntarily hanging out with morons for very long. I usually quickly but politely walk away (and have many times)...

IMO politics and religion are topics that I prefer to react to others instead of proselytizing. As much as I read, I realize there will always be more questions and information than I can master. The amount of sketchy information these days regarding politics/politicians is astounding - though few people have any reluctance to having strong views. Sound bites have become knowledge to some folks.

Reminding myself to 'never argue with a fool' is usually helpful.