FIRED and depressed

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samclem said:
Well, not to go down a contentious road, but I'm among those who believe (as you apparently do) that there's no cosmic purpose or "meaning" to our existence, at least not one that is part of any "plan." And I can see where you are coming from--a well written post.
The only thing any of us leave behind is the impact we've made on others. I know you feel good when you help somebody in either a big or little way, we all do. So, you've got time now, you've got resources now, and you can make a plan. If you want to add meaning, ease someone else's struggle a little bit. Find a way to make a difference that increases the amount of happiness out there. And you get to hatch this plan yourself and do it just like you want to. Join with others when it suits you, otherwise you can do things just as you please. That's freedom, with a purpose.
I think.:)
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The best reply post on this forum that I have seen to date. :)
 
Darrow Kirkpatrick just wrote a good article that I think pertains to this thread: The Downside of Retirement - Can I Retire Yet?
I always enjoy reading Darrow's posts. He writes,

"Retirement, at whatever age, is preceded by financial independence. That sounds good, on paper. What could be wrong with being able to support yourself without working? But, as Todd Tresidder points out, there are downsides: “…one of the little-discussed aspects of attaining financial freedom is how your life changes from pre-determined to self-determined. You don’t get to follow the default script imposed by society because financial freedom obliterates the script and leaves a void in its place.”

It’s up to you to fill that void. Having the wealth to live however you choose means you’re out of excuses for those parts of your life that aren’t measuring up. You can’t blame your job for being out of shape or unhealthy. You can’t blame your kids for not pursuing a creative passion. You can’t blame the pressure to climb the corporate ladder for not taking time to develop relationships. The responsibility for what you become now rests squarely on your own shoulders.
"
 
Earl E Retyre said:
"Retirement, at whatever age, is preceded by financial independence. That sounds good, on paper. What could be wrong with being able to support yourself without working? But, as Todd Tresidder points out, there are downsides: “…one of the little-discussed aspects of attaining financial freedom is how your life changes from pre-determined to self-determined. You don’t get to follow the default script imposed by society because financial freedom obliterates the script and leaves a void in its place.”

It’s up to you to fill that void. Having the wealth to live however you choose means you’re out of excuses for those parts of your life that aren’t measuring up.
"
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I think perhaps a role model helps. I grew up around a bunch of trust-funders. Now into their 60's, about half of them never got a job at all.

"The meaning of life", the "script imposed by society" and being "out of excuses", never, ever, ever crosses their minds.
 
I still adhere to the Nemo2 family motto: Combibo is sursum ranunculus
 

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I suspected that the forum owners just put some contentious issue in a post to encourage action. It was a suspicion and I agree that the discussion has been interesting regardless.

(One of my friends reacted when I said that another friend of mine must have about $15 million based on his rate of spending. The first friend said that $15 mill does not go far these days, implying that he had more.)

I am fairly immune to what people might have. I am more interested in how they act and whether they care about others. Also I am in a different league and enjoying myself in spite of it.

And for Nemo: velut arbor ævo
That is one of my objectives in being here.
 
kcowan said:
I suspected that the forum owners just put some contentious issue in a post to encourage action. It was a suspicion and I agree that the discussion has been interesting regardless.
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Or it is a Troll who in a way has a point.

I share his worries. But one can volunteer working on whatever is close to his/her heart. If you simply sit around doing nothing you will not be happy.
 
I've decide to defer my depression until I get to the "tens of millions" point.

More seriously, I agree with many here that if this OP happened to be a serious contributor, professional help could be a godsend. DW had depression issues for many years, but has been fine for a long time now since she got the proper medication. It's a fragile thing, as she experiences a noticeable decline if she skips her medication for a few days, but generally it works quite well.
 
Thank you from OP

Hi, I am the OP. I am sorry that I did not reply sooner, leading to speculation that I am a "troll". [Honestly, I did not know what a troll was, and had to look it up. I am new to online forums such as this and do not know the etiquette.] I would like to ensure everyone that I do exist. The inclusion of "tens of millions" may have been a mistake, but I did not mean to boast, only to state a fact that I thought was relevant to my situation.
I would like to thank everyone for their honest and thoughtful replies - I enjoyed reading them all and appreciate those who took the time to give me their point of view. I was a bit worried that people would be mean or dismissive, but I was surprised and grateful to find just the opposite. This seems to be a great group of supportive people. Thanks again.
 
Sojourner said:
Having that much financial security and freedom really could make you fret over how you spend every single minute of your life, since time would become far, far more valuable than money in that situation.
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Yep. Nobody to blame, yet maybe depression has your energy level so low you can't even get out to help that first person. I'm listening to "Stress And Your Body - TGC1585" college lecture from the teaching company and it's got a very interesting lecture on stress and depression. But I digress. The point was that if you're not distracted with work and every moment is something you choose with no one to blame but yourself, it's a totally different world. Can you imagine being rich enough (at the Bill Gates level) where, if you saw a $100 bill laying on the sidewalk, you'd probably do better by not wasting time picking it up? That has got to mess with your mind.

Bogaigh said:
... I did not mean to boast, only to state a fact that I thought was relevant to my situation.
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I understand wanting to remove lack of money as a problem, so the thread wouldn't go in that direction. Maybe next time you can say your assets are probably more than, say, than 35 times your annual expenses.
 
It's a pretty cool swing set made of rope and wood. I like it and I'm almost 50!
 
OP - If it's comforting, I'm concerned about the same thing. If I ER, how will I find meaning and purpose? I've self reflected alot, and I found that I feel like I have purpose from the work that I'm doing at megacorp. This has led to an improvement in my satisfaction at work.

I think having a purpose in life is more important than financial freedom, so I'd go back to work if you get that in your professional endeavors.

I personally think advising people to see a psychologist because they are bored after ER is silly. Everybody is different.
 
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Happiness broken down to it's basic parts is simply about brain chemistry... we each react in our own unique ways to certain queues and stimulation which dictate what actually drives us (learned as we grow, through experiences in life), however the chemicals themselves that create our sense of happiness are endorphins, dopamine, serotinin and oxytocin.

The first two are shorter term feel good ones that are good to find in natural ways through exercise, nutrition and activity. They evolved to help reward us for stuff that keeps us alive and safe (more active you are the better you're able to run away from a tiger... at least run faster than those around you). Key here is to avoid vices (drinking in excess, drugs, etc...)... because they can hijack the dopamine receptors that permanently damage our ability to feel good from life.

The second two are more important in dealing with long term satisfaction in life. Serotonin gives a sense of pride, status and recognition. It helps reinforce our sense of belonging to a group for a purpose. It pushes us to seek approval from others for cohesion within a group, but it also has a darker side... it's where jealousy can stem from. As we get older, this one can be more difficult to maintain because a lot of it is fed from our relationships with those above us in life... our parents, teachers, coaches, etc... to create situations where you are learning and leaning on others for help and get you back on track with this brain chemical. Of course, easier said than done in the second half of life...

The final one is my favorite, oxytocin. It's highly addictive and simple to get at any point in life. It's that good feeling you get from watching someone do something good for someone else without expecting anything in return. It's paying it forward. It's helping others who couldn't achieve something without your assistance. It's also physical proximity to others, affection, hugs, holding hands... sometimes we miss out on that later in life as well, but it can be revisited and re-sparked with those we love. The best part about oxytocin is that it drives health in so many ways, transforms our immune systems. Volunteering, and helping others. Finding a purpose in life is really what signals to our brain that happy feeling and fulfillment.

You can let your brain rationalize around that all you want (I know I do sometimes... I'm very pragmatic and rational about everything)... the relevance of it, but it doesn't change the fact that you're a human and the chemicals in your brain are what ultimately lead to your happiness. As silly as that may sound... sometimes being happy is as simple as choosing to be. And that in turn requires one to stop doing what doesn't make them happy and start seeking what does.
 
^+1

There's also the issue of the sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous systems. The sympathetic system revs us up, gets us excited and/or anxious, and the parasympathetic system helps calm us down. As we age, the sympathetic system becomes more sensitive, while the parasympathetic system slacks off. So we tend to get excited and upset more easily, and are less able to calm down. Hence, the GOML attitude we tend to get as we age.
 
EvrClrx311 said:
Happiness broken down to it's basic parts is simply about brain chemistry... we each react in our own unique ways to certain queues and stimulation which dictate what actually drives us (learned as we grow, through experiences in life), however the chemicals themselves that create our sense of happiness are endorphins, dopamine, serotinin and oxytocin...
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How about THC? Many states have legalized it, and some people swear by it. :)
 
My state did not legalize it. And I was happy too.

Wow, it is true when they say that happiness is a state of mind.
 
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O2Bfree said:
^+1

There's also the issue of the sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous systems. The sympathetic system revs us up, gets us excited and/or anxious, and the parasympathetic system helps calm us down. As we age, the sympathetic system becomes more sensitive, while the parasympathetic system slacks off. So we tend to get excited and upset more easily, and are less able to calm down. Hence, the GOML attitude we tend to get as we age.
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We definitely need more parasympathy around here.
 
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