Screaming Kids in Restaurants...

[MOSAT]

^^ Fortunately many/most parents do teach their kids some manners and/or quickly intervene when their kids get out of line. Even last night with the screaming kids table, there were 3-4 other tables with young kids behaving MUCH better. Occasionally I have thanked parents after a restaurant meal where their kids were exceptionally well behaved, the last one appreciated our acknowledgment.

Years ago in Newport RI we had two kids running completely wild in a nice waterfront restaurant at the table next to us. I gave the parents some dirty looks, and the wife said “you don’t have kids do you,” and they both let their kids carry on including debris everywhere. They finished before us and after dinner the 6ish son and Dad were walking on the deck outside and they both came to the window right outside our table. The 6ish son flipped us the bird, and the Dad just chuckled.

There are just some thoughtless, selfish people who have no respect for others, and never will. I don’t waste my time with them - “never argue with a fool, onlookers might not be able to tell the difference.”

A number of years ago, at least 30 years, when DS was about 4 (Fearsome Four:semi controllable) DW, DS, and I walked into a new restaurant expecting it to be a "family place" based on friends and cow*rkers suggestions only to find out as we were seated it was decidedly upscale. We had a moment of trepidation thinking about DS's NORMALLY good behaviour, but decided to risk it. He was the perfect little gentleman. He was complemented by a "much older" lady in the next table for his good behaviour as she and her husband were leaving after their meal. That sure made us proud! Since then he always behaved as a good little gentleman in restaurants even when other kids in our party (friends kids, cousins) ran wild.

I have a problem with undisciplined kids in restaurants as well. I have tried to take that ladies approach, and give compliments to those that behave, sometime within earshot of those that don't.

 

[Teacher Terry]

If the parents aren’t trying I will start talking very loud about it to my husband so they can hear me. Sometimes we ask to be moved. In casual restaurants we sit in the booths in the bar where kids aren’t allowed.

 

[Teacher Terry]

In both Italy and Poland the kids were perfectly behaved.

 

[Fedup]

In England, I’ve found that parents do tell kids not to run around near train stops. But in Italy, one parent, not sure if they are Italian even, didn’t do anything, while her kid threw tamper tantrum at an airport, laying on the floor screaming. OMG, just awful. Honestly, I did feel like screaming to, just to let the child know how it affected me.

 

[MichaelB]

Children in restaurants making noise, bothering patrons. We wouldn't have this problem if we hadn't done away with those pesky child labor laws.

 

[JustCurious]

IMO blaming the restaurant for screaming kids when it’s an exception is unfair.

I agree, it's not the restaurant's fault, it's the parents.

 

[Bamaman]

When I was traveling alone on business 4 nights a week, I used to enjoy sitting close to families and seeing kids interact--when my daughter was their age.

As I get older, I ask to be seated as far from families as possible.

Now I find myself raising a 7 year old granddaughter. She's relatively quiet and is a good eater. But I cannot get her to quit climbing under the table to sit next to her Big Dad. At least she doesn't climb up on the table like her mother was known to do.

 

[travelover]

This reminds me of the thread on dogs peeing on neighbors' lawns. The problem seems to be the expectation of the adult in charge - if you accept bad behavior as normal and unavoidable, that is what you get.

 

[W2R]

Screaming kids in restaurants are just one more demonstration of the fact that truly being a parent involves so much more than just procreating.

 

[PatrickA5]

I'm the exact opposite of the problem parents. When my kids were even the slightest bit loud even in casual places, I'd cringe and think everybody was looking at us. There were a number of dinners where either me or DW were spending most of the time outside or in the car. I've noticed that it rubbed off on my daughter and she is quick to take our 3 year old GS outside if he is too loud (which is rare). Unfortunately, a lot of parents couldn't really care less.

 

[Sunset]

We don't go to Chili's on kid day, to avoid this problem.
Whenever any restaurant has a kids eat free promotion/day we refuse to go as it's likely (in my mind) that lazy bad parents love free food for the kids.

 

[Huston55]

The ‘screaming kids in a restaurant’ problem is nothing that a paring knife, sauté pan and garlic & butter won’t fix; under 2yo, they’re the most tender.

Seriously though, I think the best answer is for parents of said kiddos to not go out until everyone (including the parents) can enjoy themselves. Like the old joke says: How do you train a toddler to sit still at a restaurant? Wait until he's not a toddler anymore!

Even a liberal website like the Berkeley Parent Network says to keep ‘em at home until they can behave.

https://www.berkeleyparentsnetwork.org/advice/parents/restaurant

 

[Teacher Terry]

We also often go to food happy hour which is between 3-5. Cheap food and no kids)

 

[aja8888]

The reason we used to go out to eat when the kids were small was to get away from the kids for a while and focus on ourselves in peace.

A babysitter was worth the expense!

 

[CaptTom]

As long as the parents make an effort, and it's not a fancy restaurant, I am ok with it. We were all kids once and many of us were parents of young kids at some time. However, when parents make no effort it does bother us. Actually, it doesn't bother me as I can tune them out but it bothers my better half as she can not tune stuff out and fixates on it once she is aware of the annoyance.

I'm pretty good at tuning it out. I mostly give an understanding smile when a parent gives me that desperate, apologetic look after their child acts up.

I agree that some parents just don't care, and that's frustrating. But I give the benefit of the doubt, and assume they're just burnt out. I can relate.

My kids went through some pretty wild stages, but the rule always was, we'd walk out if they started to disturb other diners. I didn't have to do that too many times before they got the hint, but it was very draining.

Many are like that with their dogs, too! At least animals aren't allowed in most restaurants...yet.

So you haven't heard of "service animals?" Had one in the other section of a restaurant, barking, the other day.

 

[Dreaming of Freedom]

I work in a county courthouse, and we regularly have to shut our main office doors because of awful parents and kids yelling in the hallway, using their phones (calls, music, video games, movies) with the speaker turned up all the way, playing kick ball on the walls, kids "swimming" all over the floors, playing hide and seek running into restricted areas. Then there are the physical and verbal fights where we have to call the Sheriff's deputies. They also trash the bathrooms almost daily: toilet paper everywhere, pee and poop on the toilet seats and floors, stopping up toilets and sinks, dumping food in the sinks, etc. These are people either waiting at the DMV, or for family or DUI court. One last gripe: parents constantly giving their toddlers who are just learning to walk a full can of pop and a bag of Cheetos. It always ends up all over the floor and a toddler meltdown follows. I have almost lost my faith in American humanity.

 

[candrew]

Screaming/kids acting badly in public falls squarely on the shoulders of parents. It is a shame that any proprietor is placed in the awkward position of having to tell parents to do their d*mned job!

 

[NW-Bound]

Our children did not misbehave during dinner at home. They did not act any differently in restaurants.

 

[Midpack]

Our children did not misbehave during dinner at home. They did not act any differently in restaurants.

Agreed, that’s the point I was making in post #19. I’m sure the screamers are just as unruly at home every day, and everywhere else they go. Sad. Oblivious parents.

 

[Walt34]

I work in a county courthouse, and we regularly have to shut our main office doors because of awful parents and kids yelling in the hallway, using their phones (calls, music, video games, movies) with the speaker turned up all the way, playing kick ball on the walls, kids "swimming" all over the floors, playing hide and seek running into restricted areas. Then there are the physical and verbal fights where we have to call the Sheriff's deputies. They also trash the bathrooms almost daily: toilet paper everywhere, pee and poop on the toilet seats and floors, stopping up toilets and sinks, dumping food in the sinks, etc. These are people either waiting at the DMV, or for family or DUI court.

The bolding is mine, and from these folks it kind of comes with the territory working in a courthouse. They are not exactly the cream of society, but their antics gave me and lots of others in law enforcement full time jobs, paid off my mortgage, and got me a pension we can live comfortably (but not luxuriously) on.

It's been quite a while since we ran into the issue of screaming kids in a restaurant, but if it is before the meal is served we'll just leave (and tell the manager why) and if after we'll ask that the manager tell them to take the kid outside or that we be moved. If neither happens, we'll make it a point to tell the manager that we'll never be back.

In more upscale restaurants one used to see signs like "No children under 12 admitted" or similar and I wish that would come back.

 

[athena53]

Seriously though, I think the best answer is for parents of said kiddos to not go out until everyone (including the parents) can enjoy themselves. Like the old joke says: How do you train a toddler to sit still at a restaurant? Wait until he's not a toddler anymore!

This has always been my philosophy and I'm now a grandmother. You know your kid. Don't put him/her in a situation where they're expected to behave in ways that are impossible for them. Bring things to entertain them, take a restless kid on a walk through the place (without disturbing the other diners), hold them up so they can see the area where people are working in the kitchen (don't block the way of the staff!)... and yes, get "to go" boxes and leave if they get crazy. Fortunately I've never had to do the latter.

I REALLY wanted to take my granddaughters to The Nutcracker this year but the 2-year old cannot hear music without wanting to get up and dance! Instead, I've booked a kid-friendly "Sugarplum Fairy Ball" which includes lunch, music, ballerinas, entertainment, and does not require an active 2-year old to sit still during a performance!

 

[Scuba]

We generally don’t eat at restaurants that are likely to have young children. In So CA there are many options where most of the diners are adults. If I went somewhere and screaming kids bothered us, I’d ask to be moved or leave.

 

[NW-Bound]

In more upscale restaurants one used to see signs like "No children under 12 admitted" or similar and I wish that would come back.

I recently saw the headline about some restaurants in Europe as well as in the US starting to ban kids under 14.

Fourteen? I suspect it won't be long before these unruly kids end up in juvenile courts for doing a lot more than upsetting restaurant guests.. Sad!

 

[marko]

Just came back from Bermuda.
One restaurant had a sign: "Children under 7 will be seated in the [forget the name] room" (presumably with their parents)

 

[braumeister]

It might give you pause if the sign read "Children will be served in the ____ room"

Famous W. C. Fields quote:
"How do you like children, Mr. Fields?"
"Parboiled."