having a social life while saving money??

[daylatedollarshort]

Nonprofit organizations and clubs (the hobby kind, not the night club kind) are usually a good source of friends and inexpensive activities, especially ones centered around parks or the environment.

We do the library passes and seat filler memberships, too, as another poster mentioned. When we go out dancing with friends we usually eat at home before we go out. Most of the bar food isn't very healthy anyway and we just aren't big drinkers so it doesn't cost much for us for a beer and a club soda, plus tips for the bartender and band.

A fun budget isn't a bad idea, but in an urban area there are usually tons of free and cheap things to do with a little research, or probably just perusing a few online publications with entertainment sections.

 

[Aerides]

the only people I know who still go out frequently are childless and/or trying to cling on to youth. Trust me when I say after 30 all that fat/salt/alcohol will not be as enjoyable.

I'm 50 and I don't recognize anyone in this statement in my self/friends/family.

But yes I do agree that some of the advice here is very conservative, and especially for someone who is 30, not particularly realistic. She's not gonna start staying home, going to the library, and sticking to home brewed coffee (neither am I!).

Just a matter of budgeting, prioritizing. The gap in the opening post isn't so much what money is being spent on, but that she wasn't aware how much. So the answer doesn't have to be "stop all that."

 

[aja8888]

Gosh, when I was 30, single, out of college engineer living in Detroit, I was having a blast going to nightclubs, bars, playing on a softball team, dating (married at 33), weekend park parties, fast cars, slipping into Canada for more parties, etc. I was having a complete ball!

I had a pretty good job and rented an apartment.

Man, I sure miss those days!!

My saviour was the 401K and getting married, which slowed me down to a respectable pace.

Have fun now, maybe periodically save using a Roth or your work's 401K, and don't get yourself in debt at this stage of the game.

 

[HI Bill]

my biggest weakness, the whole "social/fun" category, which to me includes travel, concerts, drinks out, and spending time at my favorite place in the world, Tarjay! (Target)

I live in a sort of high cost of living city, and I struggle on how to save money. I groupon and stuff, and I've learned to travel hack some too, but looking at my spending this weekend (for the first time in a long time), I felt sort of ill realizing how much I spend just to entertain myself.

any tips on how to get this under control?

Your recreation seems entirely based on spending. There are lots of low/no-cost activities that you could replace your 'spending' activities with. Consider:

• Drinks in, rather than out
• Spending less time at Target
• Focus more on saving than spending.
• Your 'Groupon' statement leads me to believe that you're trying to save money WHILE spending (oh, I got this dress at 25% off), so you saved $25...but you actually spent $75.
• Try tennis, running, walking, local parks, local activities, local clubs. You'll soon find that happiness can be found in a book, or at a coffee shop, or in having friends over. It all doesn't have to cost a fortune.
• In your early years, try to limit travel to one or two big trips a year, focusing on lower cost options.
• Paying yourself first (max out the 401(k).
• Set a monthly entertainment budget and try to stick to it.

Just some ideas!

 

[joeea]

we have parks, and I like taking walks, but so many of my friends have babies it sorta changes the vibe lol...

and I've been to our museums, and I like potlucks, but really everything else costs money (paint and sip places, ball games, going out dancing) I just try to look for deals.

what free things do you do for fun?

There are tons of free and almost free things to do if you look around.

-I just got back from a pickleball game (my first time ever!) $3.00 for two hours of good exercise and fun.
- Tomorrow morning, my wife will be going to Yoga. $5.00 for almost two hours of great stretching.
- This morning my wife and I took a long walk down along the beach. We decided not to stop for coffee and chat with the "usual crowd" today, so $0.00 for two hours of good walking and talking.
- The local library has lectures, movies, chess, art, and some other activities. All $0.00.
- If we decide to join the Senior Center, there are a bunch of low-cost activities every week.
- We go to the beach often. $0.00. We get together with friends at their house or our house. Low cost.
- We've gone to see an occasional High School baseball, lacrosse, or football game. Low cost.

Check your local Recreation Department. Check your local Library. If you are so minded, check your local Church. check your Senior Center.

Lots of things to do out there. Not all of them are expensive.

 

[Just_Steve]

Just get a significant other to pay your bar tab.

 

[SumDay]

I have a 30 year old son who lives in a HCOL area and we discuss this often. He and the fiance love to socialize, and they pay for it. I guess they look at us and realize if they don't do it now, they sure won't want to when they get our age.

Here's another idea. Maybe get a side hustle? Do you like dogs? Register for Rover and walk someone's pooch or drop in and let them out. Hanging out at dog parks is a great place to socialize. If you don't like dogs, maybe find some part time or as needed gig you can do that includes whatever it is you enjoy doing - theater, bicycling, whatever. Use that money for your socializing and that will help you save more for when you're old(er) like the rest of us and you too can retire early!

Just my .02. I admire the fact that you realize how much this is costing you. That's the first step.

 

[MarieIG]

hi all!

this is definitely my biggest weakness, the whole "social/fun" category, which to me includes travel, concerts, drinks out, and spending time at my favorite place in the world, Tarjay! (Target)

I live in a sort of high cost of living city, and I struggle on how to save money. I groupon and stuff, and I've learned to travel hack some too, but looking at my spending this weekend (for the first time in a long time), I felt sort of ill realizing how much I spend just to entertain myself.

any tips on how to get this under control?

newbie here, so please be kind!

a) Yep, stop it. I never lost a friend in my single days because I didn't spend money drinking.

b) Go to places with minimum or no cover and limit yourself to a single soft drink. (You can have the occasional drink at a party, bring some beer.)

c) Pay yourself first, your contributions each paycheck should go first into your 401k/ IRA/ savings - fun money is a portion of what is left over;

d) A fun money account - put some in there each week; if you spend it all you're done - if not you have some extra for a treat in the future;

e) Parks, roller skating, skate boarding, basketball, picnics, running (free sporting events are a treasure trove for the young);

f) Free outdoor concerts;

g) libraries tend to squirrel away tickets for free museum visits, etc. Also certain museums of places of interest have certain days with free entries;

h) public beaches - bring your own drinks and food;

I) With regard to Target, stop impulse buying. Don't visit unless you have something in mind and if you do, make a list and stick to it. (A sale is useless if it causes you to buy something that you otherwise would not.)

Someone on the Board said - you can have anything, but you can't have everything. The bottom line, is you have to choose. Personally, I think it is entirely possible to have a fun social life on a budget.

 

[dtbach]

Gosh, when I was 30, single, out of college engineer living in Detroit, I was having a blast going to nightclubs, bars, playing on a softball team, dating (married at 33), weekend park parties, fast cars, slipping into Canada for more parties, etc. I was having a complete ball!

I had a pretty good job and rented an apartment.

Man, I sure miss those days!!

My saviour was the 401K and getting married, which slowed me down to a respectable pace.

Have fun now, maybe periodically save using a Roth or your work's 401K, and don't get yourself in debt at this stage of the game.

Pretty much same here. I didn't start saving until about 33 and everything still turned out OK. At least keep your 401K allocations going and then start trying to add to your ROTH. For the next few years, save 10% of your after tax earnings (i.e. pay yourself first) and blow the rest on having a good time. You are only young (and 30 is still young!!) once, enjoy it.

 

[MichaelB]

wow, you all are giving me a lot to think about.

I think the honest answer might just be....the things I prefer to do are expensive.

I'm going to add up my "fun spending" for may and post it here, maybe tomorrow. then maybe I can come up with a plan for the rest of june.

One of the most common themes you’ll find here is financial independence and retirement are all about choices we make in life. You may find yourself facing the need to choose between preparing the way for your retirement, early or not, or enjoying an expensive lifestyle today. Just about everyone here has faced that choice, and even though there is no “right option”, you can guess which one most of us chose.

 

[Teacher Terry]

Now that our kids are grown we go out twice a week for dinner and drinks. I am the queen of happy hour deals. Never went out when young because we were raising kids. We usually have friends over twice a month. Don’t shop for recreation. Save some and spend some.

 

[Helena]

Going to Target for socializing doesn't sound like a recipe for success. I recommend a different hobby (biking, running, etc).

How about a hobby of collecting money... and not only the gold and silver kind.

I'm serious.

Sometimes people get a "high" when collecting or in the OP's case, buying. Often is comes from the need to feel in control. I learned early how to get a similar feeling watching my savings grow.

.

 

[omni550]

Consider checking out meetup.com. Tons of groups that are interested in a zillion different things. Might find some less-spendy friends while you're at it.

omni

 

[Dtail]

Had my first kid at 30, but still went out to a certain extent. You just need to mix spending and saving, while enjoying life overall.

 

[ugeauxgirl]

Consider checking out meetup.com. Tons of groups that are interested in a zillion different things. Might find some less-spendy friends while you're at it.

omni

Agree with Omni. Your friends are spendy and so any activities you do with them is going to be spendy as well. So choices are : socialize less with spendy friends and make new ones, limit how much you spend when you're out with them and/or go out less often. It's not too problematic unless you're going into debt or not contributing to savings in order to be social.

I'd kill your Target habit though. Shopping as entertainment is expensive- and dangerous. Target can eventually turn into Nordstrom's. Seen it. Allow yourself to go only once a month. [emoji4]

 

[Amethyst]

it did kind of make 30 sound like 40 or so, didn't it.
This group tends to believe in stern responsibility by the age of 15 or 16, so take it with a grain of something....

I'm 30

that sort of stung

 

[HI Bill]

I think the honest answer might just be....the things I prefer to do are expensive.

I prefer to do things that are expensive also, but ask yourself, "at what cost?"

Would you rather retire earlier to afford a better standard of living then, or would you rather work until you're 65 or so, enjoying time with your friends now? Most folks in the US spend now, borrow now, and worry about retirement and paying off debt later. They have fabulous houses, cars, and toys, but will be working till they're 70 if their health holds out that long!

Seriously, find some down-to-earth friends who don't feel like they have to spend a fortune to enjoy life...you might even enjoy them better!

I'm 53, planning to retire right around my 54th birthday. I have a retirement budget that's 60% travel. $60K+, just for travel, annually. Think about what you could do with that! You're at the optimal age, where if you start now, you could easily afford to retire at 50, if you make the hard choices.

 

[timo2]

I prefer to do things that are expensive also, but ask yourself, "at what cost?"

+1

The way my ex-FA phrased it regarding spending money: "you are really transferring your wealth to someone else. Is it worth it or necessary?'

 

[tb001]

I think much of the answer to this question revolves around income and how much you’re able to save today. That and how much you really want to RE. Do you have CC debt? Are you able to sock away a decent chunk of your income every year and still have fun? Where does your career trajectory max out?

If you have significant income growth ahead, have no CC debt and are able to max out your retirement funds, then I think you spend on the things that are important to you. If any of these things aren’t on track, the imo it’s time to get serious and adjust your lifestyle. Lots of great suggestions here about ways to cut back and still have fun.

 

[copyright1997reloaded]

It's funny seeing all the old geezers on the forum talk about what is fun.

Since I am also an old geezer, I will offer up:
1) Force the savings out first. That is, money left over in a paycheck will be spent...so make sure it isn't there by utilizing (maxing out) your 401K/403B/457/whatever.

2) The best way to stop spending on things you don't need is to keep track of every thing you buy. Create a budget spreadsheet, and every day use mint.com (or whatever) to update your spreadsheet. This might sound backwards/archaic, but do it manually. That is, even though mint.com (for example) can track by category, update your spreadsheet manually to show every credit card purchase, every Paypal purchase, and so on. The act of doing this will reinforce your desire not to waste money.

3) Go out, but limit yourself to the number of times per week/month and/or amount spent.

4) There are plenty of people out there who want to have fun w/o spending tons of money....and by doing so you might find yourself in better shape and healthier. A long long time ago I decided to run in a 10K (on a bet, a friend at work told me his kid could beat me by 10 minutes). I ended up running in tons of races and quite a few marathons. I hung out with others who did the same and we had tons of fun doing so...including partying after a run or race or even just a 'fun' run.

5) Use raises and promotions as a way to increase savings. This is the painless way to save more. If/when you get a raise, use most (but not quite all) of it to increase your investment stream. That way it is painless in terms of your ongoing spend, but you now are in a better place in terms of eventual retirement.

 

[RE2Boys]

One of the most common themes you’ll find here is financial independence and retirement are all about choices we make in life. You may find yourself facing the need to choose between preparing the way for your retirement, early or not, or enjoying an expensive lifestyle today. Just about everyone here has faced that choice, and even though there is no “right option”, you can guess which one most of us chose.

Yep, it's all about your priorities.
For me, in my single days, I set up a goal of what I wanted to save for the future each month. Once I met that goal, I felt free to spend ALL remaining in whatever way I wished. Only other rule I had was NO DEBT ALLOWED.

 

[Jerry1]

In the spirit of paying yourself first, how are you doing in your savings goals? Being financially independent comes from making, saving and spending money appropriately. Are you making good money and saving at least 10% of your gross? If so, spending money on your entertainment may not be as bad as it feels.

I’ve always been a believer in forced savings. I always contributed to my 401k and when I had a mortgage I chose a 15 year term. Then, don’t take on consumer debt and you’ll be in pretty good shape.

Give us a sense, how are you doing with the other aspects of your finances?

 

[mountainsoft]

this is definitely my biggest weakness, the whole "social/fun" category, which to me includes travel, concerts, drinks out, and spending time at my favorite place in the world, Tarjay! (Target)

I live in a sort of high cost of living city, and I struggle on how to save money. I groupon and stuff, and I've learned to travel hack some too, but looking at my spending this weekend (for the first time in a long time), I felt sort of ill realizing how much I spend just to entertain myself.

any tips on how to get this under control?

Welcome! There's not much I can add that other's haven't posted already. You sound like you are focused on immediate gratification. Having fun now is more important than planning for your future. If you don't face that and change your focus, no amount of "hacking" is going to have a significant impact on your life. You'll just see extra money you can have more fun with.

I think many of us have gone through that at some point in our life. When I was younger I wasted tons of money on stereo equipment, going to see movies, eating out constantly, and so on. I was focused on the immediate gratification instead of my future. Of course, all the stuff I thought was so important back then is all gone and long forgotten. It was just wasted money.

You mentioned this was a social thing for you, which sounds dangerous to me. It would be like saying my friends are doing drugs, so I have to do drugs to fit in. If your friends only accept you if you go shopping, go to concerts, or go drinking with them, you probably need new friends.

Travel doesn't have to be expensive exotic destinations. Do a little research, I think you would be surprised how many places there are to see within the radius of a tank of gas in your car.

Shopping doesn't have to mean "buying". If you see something you want, write it down and see if you still want it in a week or two. I'm betting once a little time passes you'll realize you didn't need it in the first place.

If you want a different future, you have to change your present lifestyle.

 

[pjigar]

Take up a hobby that takes up a lot of time. I did woodworking but now beekeeping took my woodworking to the next level. I seem to not find enough time to everything I need to. These two hobbies cured me from my shopping addiction and I feel so much better on top of it.

 

[martyp]

Interesting that there is so much advice about spending less. My advice is to save first. Decide, at each stage of life how much you are going to save. Save that money first and learn to live and enjoy life with what is remaining. You may start with just $25/month when you are young and get up to $1000/month when you are much older depending on your career success. Living within your means is a credo of early retirement. If you try to save what is remaining at the end of a month of spending you will never save anything.