Who knows your $hit?

[brett]

Our children know only three things about our finances.

We paid for their education and one wedding (so far).

We have made arrangements in our wills and in edu savings plans to pay for each our grandchildren's post secondary education. Funds come right off the top prior to any other distribution.

We lead a conservative retirement and our financial situation allows us to travel frequently wherever and whenever we desire.

That is the extent of the factual information they have about our finances other than knowing that one of us has a workplace pension. Don't really think that they need more data at this point in time. Nor does anyone else.

 

[zekeboz]

My Mom worries that I am "blowing that dough". She is always asking why I don't have photos on FB of our travels. Hey no one has to know.

Ditto. Social media in general causes too much pain for many in seeing how the "Jones" are doing. I'd rather live under the radar, 0 posts on what we bought or destinations we have travelled to... and to the chagrin of my wife and kids my weekend work clothes get worn throughout the week.

 

[beowulf]

Agree - no FB, no Twitter, no Reddit and no anything else similar. Unlike Cheers,where everyone knew your name, I don’t want anyone to know mine

 

[CoolRich59]

The only thing I did was require my kids to read "The Richest Man in Babylon" when they were in high school, and tell them that compound interest was the second most powerful force in the universe so often that they got sick of hearing it.

I would be happy to discuss LBYM principles with any members of our extended family, but none have expressed any interest, so I keep quiet.

 

[RobLJ]

I discussed investing with the two sons when they were in jr high and high school and share the general outlines of our strategy and the general total worth. The emphasis was to invest in the 401k at the very least to maximize the match and it will pay off over time.

They are both doing quite well in their investments, although the younger quit his job in Microsoft a few weeks ago and is selling his house, to cash in on the 40% gain in 3 years. He's looking in Seattle and NoCal; he can live with his former roommate/college friend for a while if he sells successfully.

 

[CaliKid]

Wife and I know all and that's it. I have told two life-long friends some info but basically let on to about 1/2 of what we have. I have never told anybody, other than anonymous people on the internet (lol), our income. We put some vacations on Facebook but not all. Some are stealth trips. For example, later in the month doing 24 hours to a city 500 miles away just for a sporting event. To me flying to another city for 24 hours for a sporting event is a good clue that we have money so we will tell nobody. I have seen too many relationships harmed by money issues. Secret is better. Oh ya, kids know very little. Will tell them more when they are about 40 or 50... maybe.

 

[Oz investor]

until i get a 'better half ' probably nobody will understand most of my strategy ( but she might need to , in the case of emergencies )

my strategy is designed to work for me and not a demographic group ( or impress a room full of investors )
LBYM was instilled at a young age ( maybe even inherited ) and most think that concept is 'so yesterday ' so maybe i will be alive when attitudes change ( and when the credit hell freezes over )

 

[Dalmore]

I'm more than willing to share numbers and advice with our heirs (my sister and her kids). Outside of them, I become very vague. I am more than happy to give advice when asked. They only recently learned we were planning to retire soon.

On the receiving side, however, I find it very frustrating that my aging in-laws won't discuss finances with us at all. They are both 85 and starting to slow down. Any offer to help them with their bills and finances are met with solid rejection.

 

[HI Bill]

...IF we did let more behind the curtain we could effectively inspire others with our story. We share much on this site, but there is a whole 80% of the world out there that just does not get these principles that come easy to us that we can help. Just curious what your experience has been and how deliberate you are in sharing specifics with your friends/kids?

Since I've enjoyed this site, and my FI journey, I thought it would be a great idea to create a PowerPoint presentation on retirement planning to share with my coworkers. "Planning to Retire, Investing for your Future" covered the following items:

• Why Plan for Retirement?
• Life Expectancy
• How much do I need to Save and Invest?
• Retirement Savings Options: IRAs, 401(k), Roth IRAs, and the ESPP
• Diversification, Asset Allocation, Risk & Reward
• Selecting a Mutual Fund
• Budgets
• The Four Percent ‘Rule’
• Recommended Web Sites
• Conclusions

After obtaining approval to present, I did. One person came up to me afterward, and asked for help in setting up her 401(k) elections. Many now consider me 'rich' and view me with jealousy, and many say that they can't save anything. One guy here making more than $250K, who's over 68, is wondering if he can ever afford to retire.

A friend of mine who has a large salary and pension (guessing $250-350K combined) knows I'm about to RE. He and his wife questioned how I could do so...I vaguely said that if you need $80K in income, using the 4% rule, you'd need to save/invest $2M. Now, right or wrong, that's how much they think we're worth, and there is some jealousy involved. They're living in the $2M house, we in the $350K condo...they have debt past their eyeballs and just can't understand how anyone can save $. Another case of someone who thinks they're entitled to their lifestyle because of their training and income.

So, if you're truly interested in helping others, I'd consider becoming a CFP, and letting interested people hire you. You can lead a horse to water...

 

[Oz investor]

HNL Bill,

ahhh ! you touch on the most important current debate rent or buy property

personally i am in the property owner camp , but i am a dinosuar and in the modern era , renting has it's own wisdom ( location flexibility being a big one ) , owning and then reverse mortgage is popular ( but not for me )

although i disagree on your methods to reaching the winning post , i wish you every happiness for taking the effort to get there , and encourage you to educate the willing ( learners ) into planning ahead in an uncertain world

cheers

 

[travelover]

..............So, if you're truly interested in helping others, I'd consider becoming a CFP, and letting interested people hire you. You can lead a horse to water...

I agree, it is a waste of time. Eyes glaze over as soon as you get to the spend less than you make part.

 

[Oz investor]

travelover,
the few that ask me , go into mental overload on the first question , where do you NEED to be in 20 years time ??

i rarely ever get into the part about learning about investing or researching deeply BEFORE you reach for your cash

 

[ATX78701]

Single guy here with no kids. 50 yo. My financial advisor knows my details. Additionally, this last Christmas I showed my DM a high level overview of my numbers as ER is in the cards hopefully in 2020 or 2021 at the latest and I do not want her worried that I am going to ¨go on the dole ¨. My DB pulled off a successful ER this year but I do not want to know his numbers nor have him know mine. Numbers that I do share with people are those that are commonly available on the internet - for example, what is the property tax on my house. I am lucky that I had the chance to live the ¨impress others with what I have lifestyle¨ and realized how unhappy I was surrounded by things in a fancy abode. With my ego in check, my plan is to live simply until ER and after ER and keep my numbers close to my chest.

 

[brett]

There is really no secret to this early retirement business.

Work hard, live below your means, pay yourself first, avoid all forms of consumer credit, invest wisely/conservatively (vs get rich quick), and realize that you do not have to keep up with the Jones' or indeed follow the path of your peers. This formula has worked for millions of people. But you must do it all, not cherry pick one or two and forget the rest.

 

[Ginny]

I am very lucky that my DS asked for my assistance on his savings plan. He started to fund his Roth when he was in high school at my suggestion and assistance. He drove his '08 Honda we gave him new until about a year ago! He knows our NW because we always talked about money and investments. My step kids do not have a clue, except how we live. I just got asked about where to "find" money for a home purchase. And that's why we do not talk numbers with everyone.

 

[FLSUnFIRE]

I don't share specifics but most of my friends know that I plan to quit my real job for PT work... I'm FI but will still work so when I share my plan, I say I don't need to make as much to get by and want to downshift. A few people know a bit more detail... my best friend and the girl I just started dating know a bit more (primarily that I bought my home for cash - I disclosed that after she mentioned to me that she paid cash for her condo) but no firm details. I'm probably one of the most wealthy in my circle but my spending is at the other end so there's not much flash.


I do enjoy coaching/helping people so a few know that I've got my **** together and I will share a chart of my net worth from college till now with no labels on the Y axis...specific numbers don't matter but I think seeing something real with the ups and downs of the market (and how little they matter over a long time) and the impact of life changes and habits (major impacts) impact net worth is more real than "if you save X per year at 7%).

 

[KrisQuit]

There is really no secret to this early retirement business.

Work hard, live below your means, pay yourself first, avoid all forms of consumer credit, invest wisely/conservatively (vs get rich quick), and realize that you do not have to keep up with the Jones' or indeed follow the path of your peers. This formula has worked for millions of people. But you must do it all, not cherry pick one or two and forget the rest.

THIS!!

 

[pjigar]

I have two words: Keep stealth.

 

[Dalmore]

A friend once pointed out the difference in our approach to money.

He said to me, "You look at what you want and think, 'how much does it cost?' I, on the other hand, look at the money I have an think, 'what can I buy?'"

 

[GravitySucks]

DD1 knows most everything and is my advisor and POA.
DD2 has a good idea of what I have, and is also POA.
DGF has a pretty good idea as she just retired early and was discussing her options. ( Sort of I'll show you mine if you show me yours.)
Family knows I have enough that I won't be asking for hand outs. Unfortunately they also know I'm an easy touch for a small loan.
Friends and neighbors have no idea. They all think I'm nuts and my grand plan is to die early.

 

[brett]

I am at a complete loss as to why one would have to share their financial information with someone else simply in the process of giving them some retirement saving/planning advice.

What on earth does disclosing one's situation have to do with giving advice or a few tips?

Besides, how many people are really going to follow that advice? For most it will be forgotten by the time the person asking for advice identifies their next must have item and zips it onto their credit card. Failure to follow common sense basics over the years is what got them to this point What are the chances of a change in behavior suddenly occuring? I would bet on a lightening strike before that.

 

[brett]

duplicate

 

[rodi]

As far as giving advice.... My coworkers were aware I was saving hard to reach my goal of retiring early. Sometimes they'd ask details about how I was going about it... I explained that I'd maxed out my 401k & catchup, maxed out the ESPP, was making extra principal payments on the mortgage. They'd be shocked... How could I possibly get by. I pointed out that I brown bagged my lunch, which allowed me to work through lunch and go home earlier. I drove an older car of a non-expensive variety (there were a lot of beemers in our work parking lot - next to my 10 year old highlander.) I also pointed out that by deferring so much of my income to saving/paying off the mortgage, I was getting used to living on less.... so I knew I could survive on less, once retired, because I was already doing it. We also talked about lazy portfolios... but the big idea I pushed, when asked, was about saving as much off the top, and figuring out how to live on less. 1 coworker seemed to 'get it'... He retired last year... He sent me a note saying I'd inspired him.

As far as details, actual dollar values... we all earned in the same ballpark (senior engineering staff)... and max 401k with catchup is a known figure... No need to give them actual $$ values - just point out that with compounding, maxing the savings could make a big difference.

 

[rodi]

A funny thing happened to me along those lines. A neighbor said, "Do you mind if I ask how much you paid for your house?". I said "Yes", and that was the end of that conversation.

You do know that property sales are public record.... Whenever a house sells in my neighborhood, I look it up. Need to keep track of the market.

 

[REWahoo]

You do know that property sales are public record....

Not in every state. I think Alaska, Idaho, Kansas, Louisiana, Mississippi, Missouri (some counties), Montana, New Mexico, North Dakota, Texas, Utah, and Wyoming are non disclosure states which do not consider the sale amount a matter of public record.