Would you share ?

[Moemg]

What if the shoe was on the other foot? If your spouse inherited that kind of money, would you expect them to share? Be honest with yourself...

If my So inherited a lot I would expect him to make our life easier so he should expect the same from me .As long as it is a commited long term relationship .If it was just a short term thing ,nothing should be expected .

 

[boilerman]

Until the question was asked of the OP, I wouldn't have even considered NOT sharing. Married 25 years, we share everything.

 

[Vincenzo Corleone]

I'm expecting to receive a somewhat substantial inheritance and, like the original poster expressed, will spend it on an upgraded lifestyle with my wife. But the money will stay in my name alone. If my wife should come to her senses and leave me , my grandmother would roll over in her grave if my wife, someone my grandmother never met, would take off with half of the money that my grandmother made with blood, sweat and tears (my grandmother lived through the Great Depression).

I've discussed this with my wife and happily learned that she completely understands.

 

[Moemg]

So all the married people will share . How about some of our single posters ? What would you do ?

 

[Culture]

Been there, done that, yes.

(edit) I am married for 20 years.

 

[Spanky]

Yes - share it.

 

[dmpi]

Share of course. It make no sense for one person to keep it.

 

[calmloki]

After 29 years we aren't married - but i betcha our relationship has outlasted most. Inheritances I've recieved have been plugged into our jointly owned rental properties, but if my gal chooses to segregate her inheritance that's ok with me and i'd understand it. Doubt that would happen though. That's the good thing about being with the same person long enough -

 

[SecondCor521]

So all the married people will share . How about some of our single posters ? What would you do ?

When I thought I was happily married, I would have shared it, no questions asked, just dropped it into the financial pile.

When I found out she was divorcing me, I would have not shared a penny and taken advantage of my state's laws which say that inheritances are separate property as long as they are not commingled.

At the moment I am completely single so I have nobody to share it with. I would finish funding my kids' college and my retirement, though.

If I had a significant other, I wouldn't share it with her until we were married.

I wouldn't remarry unless I felt I could trust her with sharing inheritances.

2Cor521

 

[growing_older]

When I thought I was happily married, I would have shared it, no questions asked. Later when I was divorced I would have regretted it. Now that I am considering a second marriage, I would probably want some kind of protection in case of future divorce and to protect kids. I'm sure I'm trustworthy and understand committment, but I'm finding it very hard to trust someone else won't change for the worse or fall under some bad influence, no matter how well I think I know them.

 

[toofrugalformycat]

I don't anticipate the problem of an inheritance coming up, but if DH or I get one, we'd probably keep it separate as we do most of our investments. Eventually if we live long enough, he or I may need help from the other, and I'd like to think there will be no question at that time, but we hope to keep our money separate as long as possible.
Having barely survived my parent's disaster of a marriage where money was a constant high-decibel argument, I think merging funds is just asking for trouble.
But I guess it works for some people.

 

[sunshine]

Since I am single there is noone to share with...I would give to the church and charity, but would also travel and spoil myself a little...but that is no different than what I do with money currently.

 

[Texas Proud]

Many answers to the question as it is a very broad one....

If you have been married a long time and no potential divorce, share

If you have just gotten married, keep separate but use it to make the family life better.. but eventually it would be mixed in the joint accounts..

If you are living with someone... the above except no mixing...

If you have a SO that you do not live with... no sharing except that you might pay for more of the 'stuff'... as someone said, better vacation etc... this however would probably lead to a breakup as the other person would probably feel 'entitled' to the money...

 

[old woman]

I don't share money with my guy at all. After 21 years together we have no joint accounts or joint assets and never will. He inherited from an uncle and didn't even tell me how much, it was like he was afraid if I knew he had money I would want some. His mom died last year she owned a small single wide mobile home and a car. He has two half siblings and his mom had adopted a half sister's son. The other kids asked him to give up his share and he said yes but then didn't sign the lawyer papers after considering he didn't like the half siblings so didn't want give them anything.I did ask once if the estate was settled and he said yes, I don't know if he got any money but won't ask and wouldn't expect anything.
When my 81 year old mother goes in 15-20 years I will get 1/3 of an estate worth currently 400K, I don't intend to share it.
My money provides the house and my personal things, he pays me rent and for his personal things so if I have more money we will live in a better house. I will give him a life tenancy in the house when I die but then back to my family. I will also leave him cash worth enough to make sure he doesn't suffer but he will have 3 pensions and SS so a house to live in should be plenty.

 

[donheff]

I would share equally with DW but we have been married for long time and have jointly built up our estate. If she died and I remarried I would keep all of my assets separate so that I could pass the estate to our kids. A new wife could have my survivor annuity, but not the rest. AT this point I believe that would apply to the house as well - maybe a trust so the new spouse could live in it until death. I would expect the same from a new spouse if she had money.

 

[Meadbh]

single person responding ...

I would keep it separate......as my (married) mom did when she had an inheritance. She subsequently passed the fruits of that inheritance to me, in trust.

I have a good friend who married a very nice guy who has bipolar disorder. In his manic phases, he spends wildly. That could really destroy a shared inheritance!

Reading the posts so far, the drivers behind stated preferences appear to be:

• a view of an inheritance as a generational responsibility
• trust in one's partner (which in turn appears to be related to marriage and experience)

 

[Texas Proud]

AT this point I believe that would apply to the house as well - maybe a trust so the new spouse could live in it until death. I would expect the same from a new spouse if she had money.

If you got married and died... in most states (all?), your wife would have a life estate in your home.. she could live there rent free until she either moved out or died... if you left it to your children they could not force her out... and if SHE did not want to pay the property tax she would not have to...

 

[kumquat]

Here in Canada, assets aquired after marriage are joint property in case of [-]relationship breakdown[/-] death/divorce/split up. After 2 years of cohabitation you are (for legal purposes) married. That being said, DW (of 30 years) and I always keep our finances separate. If any of DW's assets, and therefore income could be assigned to me by the tax boys we would have a lot less in total.

OT Anecdote
We had friends. She had LOTS of family money, he came from a modest background. They took a European vacation, mostly on her money. She flew 1st class, he in the back. Why? She was willing to pay his ticket but he wasn't willing to pay that much for a few hours of comfort. LYBM.

 

[kcowan]

We are in a commonlaw relationship. We had our lawyer draw up a joint venture agreement that enabled us to combine our funds in proportion to how we contributed. The principal remains intact as contributed as well as all subsequent earnings from those contributions. This agreement has served us well during my share of my Dad's inheritance, and will also handle her Mom's pending inheritance sometime in 2008.

The funds go into a trust if either of us dies for the benefit of the survivor for their lives, and then the trust is distributed according to our individual desires for our heirs in proportion to our cumulative contributions. It is really very easy to do this and seems to survive the passage of time and circumstances.

 

[winnie]

We are domestic partners with a child.

My DP inherited significant assets about 8 years ago. She shared it all and its now in a joint, family trust.

I've invested those assets, returning about 8% annually on the inheritance, with a pretty conservative allocation. She doesn't have the interest or time to invest.

we're both very happy with that original decision.

winnie

 

[FIREd]

I will most likely inherit both money and real estate from my parents. Without hesitation, I will share the money with my wife. The real estate, however, will remain in my name only because the properties have been in my family for generations and I don't want to take any chance with them. They have to remain in the family no matter what. As we don't have any kids, upon my death the properties will go to my sister's kids and not to my wife.

 

[Puzzley]

My wife and I have been married for 40 years, and have always shared everything, financial and otherwise. I couldn't fathom any other way. When the family farm and home passed to me, my wife's name went right on the deed beside mine. It's been in my family for almost 200 years, but I know my wife, so no worries. It all goes to our daughters, anyway....

 

[P.S.]

reading the posts, I do notice a trend to keep large amounts inherited as a 'legacy" to keep said inheritance as legacy.

when dh and i married, his school debt was paid off immediately b/c I can't stand debt, and i realized when i marry the person, i get everything along with the person.

i don't view an inheritance coming down the pike similarly though. if dh were to inherit a substantial amount, and there is no suspician that he will, i would not consider any part of it mine.

my parents have/are set on leaving large amounts for my sibs and I. These are people who still save leftover clean napkins from eating out in their retirement. Alot could happen between now and if that should ever happen, but I plan on keeping monies separate for ds/any future kids.
Part of the problem is dh is very very nice, and good looking to boot. So even if there was no inheritance, if I were to kick the can, there would already be plenty of gold diggers around.

 

[Texas Proud]

reading the posts, I do notice a trend to keep large amounts inherited as a 'legacy" to keep said inheritance as legacy.

when dh and i married, his school debt was paid off immediately b/c I can't stand debt, and i realized when i marry the person, i get everything along with the person.

i don't view an inheritance coming down the pike similarly though. if dh were to inherit a substantial amount, and there is no suspician that he will, i would not consider any part of it mine.

my parents have/are set on leaving large amounts for my sibs and I. These are people who still save leftover clean napkins from eating out in their retirement. Alot could happen between now and if that should ever happen, but I plan on keeping monies separate for ds/any future kids.
Part of the problem is dh is very very nice, and good looking to boot. So even if there was no inheritance, if I were to kick the can, there would already be plenty of gold diggers around.

I would think this is for the 'new' kind of family with multiple marriages, divorces and half brothers etc....

OR, no kids....

If not, would you not want to leave everything to your kids?

Now, of course there is the 'bimbo' factor.... where the wife dies and the old husband goes out and finds a 'bimbo' to marry and leaves everything to HER and not the kids...

 

[Alan]

no doubt about it - share with DW. Been together 33 years and shared everything from day 1