Search results

These are really interesting responses and I'm surprised by the number of long-term marriages that have yours, mine, and our accounts. When I proposed me having my own account it was also with the understanding that it'd be a TOD or he'd be the beneficiary, just like what we have with the...

No ERD50, I did not say what's his is mine and what's mine is ours. You misread that. When it comes to inheritances brought in, I think of both of those as separate. Please keep in mind that there will most likely be a big disparity in inheritances, through both luck, chances, and LBYM factors...

Just curious as to how everyone handles this and views it in their own households. When we first started out as DINKs we had separate checking accounts, separate savings accounts, separate (obviously) retirement accounts, and a joint after-tax investment account, an account who's demise has...

We do not. With my parents, the running joke is "if I'm not asking for money, you can assume I'm doing ok." My parents don't need to know specific amounts, just that our butts are covered. As for the inlaws....good lord. Years and years ago when Mr. Sassy landed his first job out of college, he...

I'm getting quite the chuckle at the lively debate going on here on whether or not I should kick Mr. Sassy to the curb. It's getting hashed out on this forum more than it is in my own house. Let's just say I kind of like him sleeping with one eye open.... :) Life insurance needs are covered...

Bestwifeever, You have me confused how you think I was being hard on him. And I did not "insist" that he was not a gambler. I simply said he wasn't and, based on the one other time of this happening--so now twice in 20 years--I wouldn't even have considered it a gambling issue. But twice...

Considering my current situation, I find it very interesting to read several comments here about the spouse not interested, don't like to discuss, or their eyes glaze over when the subject comes out. I wouldn't have even said that was me, but the parallels are interesting. Even talking with my...

Financedude, You are right about highly intelligent people. To quote my mom, "Some of the most intelligent people are the stupidest." :)

Ok. So, my informal therapy session here..... I found the Gamblers Anon site and it had a list of 20 questions to answer. Answering 7 with a "yes" indicating a problem. I hit 8 for him. When I sent it on to him, he answered "yes" to 11. It's kind of hard to think that he has this sort of...

I am probably going to muck up the lingo, so bare with me.... He put a call option in for gold to go up (then it went down). I don't believe he borrowed more on margin than what we had. I think the call option ended up being worthless and things slid downhill fast before he could close the...

First off, we sat down this weekend and took a look at everything and changed passwords so that I only have them. It does not appear that any day trading is going on. Looks like what happened is he saw the market was going for a crash around the 2008 time frame and, thinking he'd be a really...

Letj, I understand what you're saying about the relationship. Yes, I'm looking at this quite differently than I would have if I was in my 20s and a DINK. But now I have little lives to think about as well as reflecting on our married years together, what I want, and where I want to be in the...

First off, folks, I appreciate all the comments. I've lurked on this board for years and have a pretty good judgement of who I consider level-headed and who doesn't necessarily jive with my goals/concerns. These are opinions that all of us can take and leave without any hard feelings. Don't turn...

I saw tax returns and they had minimum losses (around $3,000). He says there's a certain amount you can deduct each year that we have a huge tax loss to carry forward. I had the tax accountant do taxes for 4 of those years because we were overseas, but he did them this year. And now that brings...

Thanks Mead, I agree on all your suggestions as they have all crossed my mind in this short, chaotic amount of time. Right now, I really want to focus on the immediate of getting him off all the accounts (he agreed immediately to that) and making sure that nothing else is hidden. He's assured...

I don't have much choice other than to make a plan and move on. Pretty much having my "As god is my witness" Scarlett O'Hara moment.

Well, he finally fessed up tonight. Turns out he lost everything in the 2008 crash because he was highly leveraged. He had dabbled with that a bit in his 20s then we agreed jointly that it wasn't good to do anymore, but he started back up. So, I guess you can see he's a bit like a gambler with...

Pb4, Thanks again for the steady advice. Your post are keeping me calm in all this. You may be right on how he is valuing things. He says we have other holdings, so I need to find those and see what's up. Part of this all stems from trying to get everything organized in Quicken, so once I have...

There's a huge discrepancy between what he says and the actual account value. I see margin activity when I get in to few statements. Plus, I have a huge margin buying power, which explained to me is basically an extended line of credit if we want to use it. I have no idea where monthly...

No gambling. No floosey. Basic hard-working guy that could have stepped out of The Waltons line up. I finally have the login info. He said it was w/ the others, but the others are written on the front of the file folders that store the old hard copies. This one wasn't there. So he wrote it down...

Thanks, pb4uski. I have suggested Vanguard funds before but he thinks he can do better than funds. (Throwing hands up in air.) He says overall our investments outperform the market and funds, but I never see a specific rate of return or anything like that. Just his word. Regarding my IRA, I...

We do not have statements mailed anymore. They're all online. I have the user name/passwords for all of them except this big one, so I know what the rest look like. I'm suspecting this is his version of "keeping up with the Jones" or he doesn't want to reflect poorly in my eyes. He wants to be...

I'm a SAHM, married for 20 years, with two young kids. My husband comes from a family who'd rather look well off than be well off and I come from a millionaire-next-door family, so our childhood personal finance lessons were quite different growing up. I had to get him on board with saving...