Financial Separation Question

[Closet_Gamer]

OP: I think you need to pay up for the 1/2 of the expenses you incurred less whatever you paid in along the way. If that requires you to nuke your savings to balance the ledger, so be it. If it were one of my kids in your SO's shoes, that what i would tell them to require.

If there is some nuance that your SO felt it was necessary to drive a new Cadillac Escalade while you drove a 20 year old Civic, you'll have to sort those items.

Good luck. The odds of this ending with smiles is low, but you can at least ensure that when its over you know you did the right thing.

 

[tmm99]

I don't understand why she was paying all of the expenses from the sale of her rental while you were saving your money as she was struggling financially as well. I mean, if I were you, I would have contributed my money (instead of saving) if my partner was struggling financially. The fact she was willing to help you save your money while she was spending her money in that situation is a bit strange, but if that's what she wanted to do then I don't know... I don't think I would be asking for my money back if I were her unless... unless you pissed me off really really bad to the extent that I wanted revenge.

I might offer half of what I saved (50K/2=25K). People who have more money tend to spend more money, so I don't think you will have to give her half of what she spent.

 

[pacergal]

I was going to answer, but I see OP has "gone traveling"!

I don't think he would have liked my answer, anyways.

 

[ERD50]

I was going to answer, but I see OP has "gone traveling"!

I don't think he would have liked my answer, anyways.

I'm guessing he didn't like most of the answers!

Kinda sad, I sense a lot of friction between the two of them during this breakup. As mentioned upstream, either keep your finances separate, or get some legally binding contract set up.

-ERD50

 

[RunningBum]

I thought "gone traveling" meant he got booted? We've seen a few faked tales that also show up on city-data and someone might have pointed that out offline.

 

[Car-Guy]

I was going to answer, but I see OP has "gone traveling"!

I don't think he would have liked my answer, anyways.

Maybe his GF saw his question on this board and "sent him on his way" Or more likely, he posted something that he should not have and his post was deleted and he's gone!

 

[ERD50]

I thought "gone traveling" meant he got booted? We've seen a few faked tales that also show up on city-data and someone might have pointed that out offline.

That's what I assume as well - but when I said he didn't like the answers, that may mean he came back with a reply that got him booted. Or the duplicate/trolling scenario, though I don't understand why anyone would do that. But there's lots I don't understand!

-ERD50

 

[aja8888]

Maybe he was really a Variable Annuity salesman in disguise!

 

[ERD50]

Maybe he was really a Variable Annuity salesman in disguise!

I found he did ask the same question on two different reddit posts. That's not necessarily a bad thing, if he just wanted to generate more input.

Not surprisingly, the reddit people were less gentle than this group (you can explore on your own!):

https://www.reddit.com/r/Fire/comments/uvl600/financial_separation_question/

https://www.reddit.com/r/EuropeFIRE...e_up_with_gf_question_about_splitting_assets/

-ERD50

 

[Calico]

I found he did ask the same question on two different reddit posts. That's not necessarily a bad thing, if he just wanted to generate more input.

Not surprisingly, the reddit people were less gentle than this group (you can explore on your own!):

https://www.reddit.com/r/Fire/comments/uvl600/financial_separation_question/

https://www.reddit.com/r/EuropeFIRE...e_up_with_gf_question_about_splitting_assets/

-ERD50

I agree with the reddit responses. And that's all I'm going to say about that.

 

[tmm99]

I found he did ask the same question on two different reddit posts. That's not necessarily a bad thing, if he just wanted to generate more input.

Not surprisingly, the reddit people were less gentle than this group (you can explore on your own!):

https://www.reddit.com/r/Fire/comments/uvl600/financial_separation_question/

https://www.reddit.com/r/EuropeFIRE...e_up_with_gf_question_about_splitting_assets/

-ERD50

ERD, good detective work! The OP's status "gone travelling" makes sense now!

 

[frances]

ouch. I have a friend in a similar situation now. interesting comments and makes me worry for my friend should there be a break-up....

 

[Sondari]

Not having the full story is hard, but you owe her at least half the money if she paid for your half of the living expenses. Since it was two years, I would give her the $50,000.