Laying Down My Sword

[DawgMan]

Just a little reflection as I transition into full retirement. Curious of how perhaps some of you made the peaceful transition in similar situations.

Like most here, I have always been a big goal setter pursuing an early retirement date and "the number" to flip the switch and say go. The date was always 55, but the number changed as I moved the goal posts many times due to lifestyle creep driven by a lucrative and fortunate self-employed career. I am one of the lucky ones in that I enjoyed most of what I was doing so my motivation to retire was based more an arbitrary date/portfolio value, as opposed to fighting the grind. Well, 55 came and while all systems were a go, I suppose a combination of being hardwired to "hunt & kill" my whole career and my niche being very lucrative, I just wasn't quite ready to give up the fight. My solution was to start intentionally "downshifting" my business which basically involved draining my existing pipeline of business (without any focus in refilling) and cherry picking the clients/business I wanted to work on. For the first year or 2, I battled with my competitive nature from time to time, but slowly found I was becoming ok with not winning when I saw a piece of business go to a competitor I would have otherwise pursued. Fast forward to today at age 57, I find I have really made peace with laying down my sword and these last couple of years were really helpful to my transition.

How long did it take you to really make peace with the transition, particularly if you ran your own business or were in a very lucrative career?

 

[pb4uski]

About 20 seconds. It was what I planned for and I was ready for me time.

 

[EastWest Gal]

I’m quite sure your competitor was happy for that last win. You learned that you don’t have to win them all, and that everyone needs to win some. With that you were ready to leave. In a competition, someone wins and everyone else loses. You figured out it was time to let others get the win, and that you had won enough for your lifetime.

I worked in what was supposed to be a cooperative environment (hospital). But the competitive nature of some people led to events of bullying and misery, bumps in the road. My mentor early in my training was a longtime department chair that gave students and residents the chance to shine and was always there for us. It was startling to go from that to the competitive private practice environment, where making money was the main priority.

Retirement is in many ways a return to my more idealistic self of my young life, without the youthful angst. I don’t have to prove my worth anymore. It’s refreshing.

 

[finnski1]

I’m quite sure your competitor was happy for that last win. You learned that you don’t have to win them all, and that everyone needs to win some. With that you were ready to leave. In a competition, someone wins and everyone else loses. You figured out it was time to let others get the win, and that you had won enough for your lifetime.

I worked in what was supposed to be a cooperative environment (hospital). But the competitive nature of some people led to events of bullying and misery, bumps in the road. My mentor early in my training was a longtime department chair that gave students and residents the chance to shine and was always there for us. It was startling to go from that to the competitive private practice environment, where making money was the main priority.

Retirement is in many ways a return to my more idealistic self of my young life, without the youthful angst. I don’t have to prove my worth anymore. It’s refreshing.

Well said!

 

[Dtail]

Had a lucrative career, but after searching for a job for 15 months with no success, after volunteering for a separation package, transitioned immediately after discovering I could retire at 57.
Thus a different situation, as I had the 15 months of searching and simultaneously transitioning.

 

[pjm-7]

Time now to turn the swords into plowshares. Happy retirement..

 

[savory]

I see ER as providing choice, not leaving work. In most cases w*rk gets in the way. But continuing w*rk in any fashion is a good choice if it meets your lifestyle. It is allowing you to structure your work the way you prefer. Enjoy it and when it gets old, make the next change. You've worked hard to earn the right to choose.

 

[aja8888]

I ran my own business for about 20 years. It took about a year to stop me from doing "small jobs" for great clients after I pulled the plug.

 

[W2R]

How long did it take you to really make peace with the transition, particularly if you ran your own business or were in a very lucrative career?

Not long, although I didn't fit into either of those categories.

About 20 seconds. It was what I planned for and I was ready for me time.

About 10 seconds for me. Just long enough to walk out the door, get into my car, dry my eyes, and grab the steering wheel. I suddenly felt very strongly that finally I was going where I wanted to go in life. AT LAST!!

 

[38Chevy454]

I wasn't self employed, but did go part-time a the end which did help the slowdown, although mentally I was ready even without that. The P/T mainly allowed to keep the corp health ins and other benefits while at the same time letting the savings go up vs starting withdrawal.


Good for you DawgMan in realizing that it is time and being ready to let others take over when you leave. Have fun in the new phase of your life.

 

[ExFlyBoy5]

About 20 seconds. It was what I planned for and I was ready for me time.

That long? Yeah...that's about right for me, too.

Retirement is in many ways a return to my more idealistic self of my young life, without the youthful angst. I don’t have to prove my worth anymore. It’s refreshing.

I couldn't say it better. For 20+ years there was ALWAYS someone looking over my shoulder waiting for me to f* up. It was the nature of the beast; when you are responsible for operating very expensive and complex aviating machines, there is very little room for error...so you were ALWAYS subject to overbearing oversight. It was even worse when I had to be the one doing the oversight. It's all very exhausting and I am quite happy to do whatever the hell I want and without having to answer to others.

 

[Car-Guy]

Not very long at all... I think on the drive home from the last day on the job was all I needed. I didn't run my own business but it was a very lucrative career.

 

[ERD50]

... How long did it take you to really make peace with the transition, ...

There was no "making peace with the transition" for me. I had been looking forward to it for a long time.

For me, it's kind of like asking "How long did it take you to really make peace with the idea that you are on vacation and enjoying yourself with friends and family?". Just bask in it!

-ERD50

 

[Stormy Kromer]

I was self employed in a service business for 32 years. The value of the business was a multiple of its revenue, so slowing down was not an option. I sold out when I was 50 and walked out the door for good. That was 6 years ago, no regrets. The payment comes like clockwork every month for 10 years and I don't do a darn thing. Its great.

I did move away from the small town where we worked and lived. The business was my identity and I needed to get away from that, plus I wanted to give the new owner room to establish his identity.

I found a job that I am very, very good at in Early Retirement, that is Non-competing. I had to sign a Non-competing agreement when I sold the business and let me tell you I am good at it.

 

[street]

It took me a while to have a complete disconnect from my career and place of work. It wasn't an easy thing for me I absolutely loved my job and worked for an outstanding company for 35 years.

So, for me to not be part of something I was for 35 years was an adjustment. The reason for my retiring was to be able to do more of the things I treasured and had a passion for in life. Like many here have said, describes ER for me, that my time was more valuable than a paycheck at that time in my life.

 

[jollystomper]

My OMY "Glide Path" transition is described here: https://www.early-retirement.org/forums/f28/omy-glide-path-plans-81406.html

I am like you in terms of enjoying my job, and the decision was not running from it, but running to something more enjoyable - total control of my time. Fortunately I never got wrapped up in "my job is my life" thinking. Having a lot of activities beyond the job that I enjoyed and wanted to spend more time on them made the transition much easier.

It also helped that my DW wanted me to retire, and she played an "active" role in my transition that certainly help make the peace.

 

[pacergal]

The last year before I retired was both enjoyable and frustrating. The management of our department was going in a direction I did not agree with (more business/insurance focused, less people/health focused). It was difficult to watch, however, I have been back multiple times over the past 5 years to work on call, the old time Nurse/helper in me still comes out!

DawgMan--I have read your many posts over the past few years. You have anguished over this decision! From what you write, you are well set financially.
For some of us, that last day of work was freedom and no turning back. For others, we got pulled back to work.
To me, Retirement is all about freedom. Freedom to do what you want to do. Glad your slower entry in closing your business and in to retirement is what is working for you.
Enjoy every day, Life is wonderful!

 

[rk911]

About 20 seconds. It was what I planned for and I was ready for me time.

that long, eh? i gave 6-mos notice and spent the last 2-months retired-in-place.

 

[Scuba]

I think it’s a lot harder to retire when you’ve built a successful business. Congratulations on doing that, Dawgman. If I had done that, my attitude may have been different.

I had a lucrative career, spending the last 20 years of it in senior management and ending up in a C-level role for the last 10. Although I enjoyed many aspects of my career, I couldn’t wait to retire. The only reason we didn’t retire sooner was that I had a very lucrative retention bonus on the line and had to stay through a certain date to get it. As soon as I got it, I gave notice and never looked back. I gave the shortest possible notice period to still be in compliance with my employment contract. A lot of great folks on this board helped me see that there was no reason to stretch it out any longer.

DH and I retired on the same day. That probably made a difference too. If I had a spouse who wanted to continue working, perhaps it would have been harder. But we both had a lot of interests we wanted to pursue - some together, some separately - that working just did not allow enough time for.

Once we RE’d, neither of us was even remotely tempted to go back to work or consult, despite multiple offers to do so. Being retired is just way too much fun! We didn’t retire until we felt we were financially ready, so any extra money we could have made wouldn’t have made a difference to our desired lifestyle as it was already funded.

 

[RobbieB]

Not me, I've been working for "the company" all my life. Retired 6 months earlier than I planned.

Easy -

 

[tb001]

I think it took me 6-12 months to sort my head and settle in. It’s complicated by happening at the same time covid started. The loss of identity is real. I laugh at it now, but those first few months answering the ‘what do you do’ question was hard.