Made 300K last year - But still don't have enough for a HCOL city and not very happy

[stephenson]

I can't recall ... do you gave a dog?

If not, get one.

Spend as much time as possible talking to women ... ask them questions, don't just talk. Smile a lot. Hobby! Get in shape. Go for lots of walks ... especially to the dog park.

 

[tulak]

People who use them are just looking for someone a little better than the last one they dated from the app or website. I see this issue here in the US, Canada, and most of Western Europe.

I used a dating site and met a wonderful
person almost two years ago. This isn’t a unique occurrence. We know a lot of people in good relationships that met this way.

Blanket statements like this aren’t helpful, especially from someone who has never even used one of these sites. It all depends on who you connect with and sure, there are a number of people that just date, but there’s a lot of people that are looking for a connection so they can get off of these apps. I met more of the latter than the former, but probably because that was what I was looking for?

These apps can work and are a good way to meet people you normally wouldn’t come across. It’s another tool that should complement getting out and meeting people. And make sure you have reasonable expectations and use a better site: less tinder, more match.

You never know where you’ll meet someone.

 

[tulak]

I can't recall ... do you gave a dog?



If not, get one.



Spend as much time as possible talking to women ... ask them questions, don't just talk. Smile a lot. Hobby! Get in shape. Go for lots of walks ... especially to the dog park.

Not a dog!

I would joke with friends that I’m looking for the rare girl that doesn’t have a dog. There’s something about single girls all having a dog…

For me, I don’t have a dog (or cat) since I want the flexibility to travel and not worry about pets. I was looking for the same, even though DGF did get a pandemic puppy. But she has younger kids and pet care figured out, so it’s all good.

 

[Aerides]

I used a dating site and met a wonderful
person almost two years ago. This isn’t a unique occurrence. We know a lot of people in good relationships that met this way.

Blanket statements like this aren’t helpful, especially from someone who has never even used one of these sites. It all depends on who you connect with and sure, there are a number of people that just date, but there’s a lot of people that are looking for a connection so they can get off of these apps. I met more of the latter than the former, but probably because that was what I was looking for?

These apps can work and are a good way to meet people you normally wouldn’t come across. It’s another tool that should complement getting out and meeting people. And make sure you have reasonable expectations and use a better site: less tinder, more match.

You never know where you’ll meet someone.

Well said. DH and I met off Match, after one of my best friends did the same. It takes a little trial and error, but it's not hard to discern intentions and write your profile to be clear about who you are and what you want, and don't. Once you get that down, and are honest about it, you'll have far more success. DH was my 7th meeting of a person from online dating. Most of the prior 6 ranged from too-bad-I-just-wasted-2-hours-of-my-life to a few dates that went nowhere, but all were nice and interesting at least. I once tried speed dating and that was laughable.

You learn to avoid the profiles that are very short or generic, or have only one posed photo. You look at the pictures for a sense of the person vs. just "are they hot"... It's not hard to tell who is just looking for dates vs. a serious relationship.

 

[daylatedollarshort]

Well said. DH and I met off Match, after one of my best friends did the same. It takes a little trial and error, but it's not hard to discern intentions and write your profile to be clear about who you are and what you want, and don't. Once you get that down, and are honest about it, you'll have far more success. DH was my 7th meeting of a person from online dating. Most of the prior 6 ranged from too-bad-I-just-wasted-2-hours-of-my-life to a few dates that went nowhere, but all were nice and interesting at least. I once tried speed dating and that was laughable.

You learn to avoid the profiles that are very short or generic, or have only one posed photo. You look at the pictures for a sense of the person vs. just "are they hot"... It's not hard to tell who is just looking for dates vs. a serious relationship.

Nice to hear about your success story!