A trust has main purpose to avoid probate. ...
Actually not, though the free-dinner attorneys may have led you to believe this. The main purpose of
their trusts is to line their pockets. Bypassing probate is kind of a red herring IMO.
The main purpose of most trusts is to allow the grantor to control the management of the money and to control what it is used for.
Example: A child with physical or mental disabilities might be the beneficiary of a "special needs trust." Such a trust is designed to make their life more pleasant without their becoming disqualified for the public benefits they may otherwise be entitled to.
Example: A "cabin trust" might be created with money to cover taxes, maintenance, etc. on a family cabin bequeathed to the grantor's children. This finesses the situation where one child may be unable or unwilling to pay his share. The cabin itself might also be put into a trust to protect it from insolvency or divorce of one of the children.
Example: In our estate plan, we create two trusts -- one for each child. (We're spending as fast as we can, but they will still probably get north of $1M each.) One of the children has no money sense at all, will spend like a lottery winner, and probably be broke in three years. The other is conservative but completely unsophisticated, so would consider CDs to be an exotic investment. Both would be vulnerable to predatory "financial advisors" from Eddie Jones, et al. By specifying how the trusts are to be invested and the specific circumstances for disbursements, both kids will be in much better shape than if they simply had a big pot of money dropped on them. The OP's "boy 21 years old who is still finding his way" might be an excellent candidate to be the beneficiary of such a trust.
So, to the OP, I echo the advice to consult a specialist. Your business lawyer can probably give you some names. Then work with the specialist to develop an estate plan that makes sense. IMO you will end up considering it to be money well spent.
Edit: Forgot a very common example. Dad dies first, mom has never had anything to do with the family finances, has no ability to run the money. Dad's will puts all the money into a professionally managed trust FBO the wife. Trustee has the authority to generously pay expenses for the wife's well being. (the lawyers have some standard phrases for this.) Trustee's control of the money somewhat protects mom from scammers, including possibly her care-givers or kids. When mom dies, the balance of the trust goes to charity, to the kids, or whatever.
