Can I Tell My Boss What I Really Think of Him?

[street]

I wouldn't say anything in closing that is a negative, just leave and leave it at that. If he/she has issues they will hang themselves in ways sooner or later. I have people I would love too tell them what I think but don't. What I do is ignore and don't bother doing business with them but still don't dislike like them either.

 

[pb4uski]

I played around with your figures in Firecalc using 100k spending and 50/50 AA and came up with ~ 129k max spending with 100% success.

That sounds about right to me.

 

[pb4uski]

If there is an exit interview with the boss's boss, you could mention a few specifics. But I wouldn't bother talking to the boss. Seriously, when you were in your 20s would you have paid any attention to something some 60 y.o. person said to you? I doubt it.

+1 while I think it is probably best to just leave and not make any waves, if you are bound and determined to make waves the best thing to do is to talk to your boss' boss and toss the little a$$hat under the bus for the benefit of everyone that works for him/her.

 

[JRon]

“stress level through the roof” says it all. If the wife agrees then pull the plug and get out.

 

[OldShooter]

+158 or whatever it is. Your ex-boss gets the last word with everyone he talks to about you, far into the future. You'll never know what effect that might have on you some day. Or even fairly immediately it might cut off the opportunity for some goodwill financial gesture from your boss's boss. Low probability events, to be sure, but not zero probability. So why burn the bridges?

 

[Chuckanut]

If he/she has issues they will hang themselves in ways sooner or later.

+1

I have seen that happen in public and private employment. Jerks have a hard time limiting whom they mistreat. Eventually, they go after the wrong person of power and become . Or, even better, the person above them figures it out and gets rid of the jerk. Hopefully, sooner than later.

 

[Buckeye]

Given your health history, I think you should encourage your wife to retire immediately while giving her the option to keep working, if that's her choice. Tomorrow is not guaranteed. Of course we never know the future, but if longevity plays out as you have projected, would she rather have the extra 2 years of hanging out with you while you are both retired or more money in the already ample retirement account?

I would discuss retiring with your wife (i.e. don't just come home on Friday and announce you are retired) but I wouldn't ask her permission to retire, given the state of your finances. Based on what you have described, this is a life and death decision for you and I would present it as such. If she is a good partner, this will be obvious to her. If she's not such a great partner and doesn't understand this, do what you need to do to save your life.

 

[brett]

Do you believe that your boss cares about what you think about him?

Is there any upside for you by doing this? Any downside?

I would keep my thoughts to myself unless. It is never in your interest to burn bridges.

 

[cooch96]

Make an effigy of your boss and give the effigy your full, unedited opinion in private (like in your basement or home bathroom). Dispose of the effigy as you see fit: burn it, flush it, shred it, whatever. Hopefully that'll get it off your chest and you'll feel free or at least better.

 

[aaronc879]

I would retire in your position. If your company has an exit interview then I think that would be a good place to be honest and say you are leaving because of the bad boss. If you say nothing about him/her then that excuses what they are doing to make you leave. They will assume it's ok unless you speak up. Not that it does you any good if you are leaving but I think it's the right thing to do.

 

[cyber888]

Yeah, you can retire Monday (tomorrow) with $2 million nest egg, and tell your boss that he can have your job too, in a nice way. No point in stressing it. Just drop the bomb and say 'I quit. Have a nice day. Good bye'.

Been lurking here for a while and feel like I’ve learned a lot, but I really don’t have a natural aptitude for this stuff.

Recently got a new narcissistic 20 something boss to micromanage me along with a reduced territory/salary and a stress level through the roof. Was planning on retiring at 62, but feel I need to make a change now and hoping that can be retirement.

I turned 60 last fall, DW will be 60 very soon. House is paid, no debt to speak of.


Here are my numbers;

Brokerage/bank accounts $380K
My 401(k) $1,050,000
DW 401(k) $280k
My Roth $190k
DW Roth $115k

SS at 62 $25k, at 67 fra would be $35.5k
DW SS approx $20k @ 62, $25 @ fra

I also have a pension that will provide $32K at 65 if I take 100% coverage for my wife, or $35k with 50% spousal coverage. The payout is reduced permanently by 1/2% for each month if I were to start collecting prior to age 65. Non COLA.
DW will surely outlive me; I have bad genes and have already had couple scares, but currently healthy & active. Her family has much more longevity than mine, so I’d prefer to cover her at 100%.

Did a rough budget, came to about $55K a year not counting taxes or healthcare.
I feel like $100K/year should be my target. Also hoping my allocations would allow me to stay under the ACA cliff when my wife decides to retire in a couple years. I recently got on her company’s healthcare when I saw the writing on the wall. Her salary is approx $70k.
I am a little concerned with how motivated she would be to stay working if I were to pull the plug now, so I’m not sure I’d be comfortable if the numbers don’t work now.

Thanks for reading, appreciate any advice. This is a great group, it brightens my day when I get my weekly email update from this site.

 

[roh3]

Thanks to all who have replied so far. Its been very reassuring to me. I do have a confession, I chose the title mostly as click bait to attract attention to the thread. What I said about him is true, but I really have no intention of confronting him about it. I was still fuming from a recent meeting with him, & looking for affirmation that my numbers work, and how best to get there.

But when the time comes, I do hope my exit interview is with his boss because I have an excellent relationship with him. He was my boss several years ago, and had much more respect for my 30+ years of experience.

I should’ve mentioned my wife is fully on board with whatever I choose to do. My comment about her might have had more to do with me feeling guilty if she were to keep working. She has, however, a sizable honey-do list for me when I pull the plug.
Ironically, her job has gone in the opposite direction; in recent years her salary has risen nicely, and her responsibilities and stress level have decreased. And now since Covid, they realize she is not even needed in the office most of the time. It is however still a job and she does look forward to retirement. It’s just a little scary for her, because in the past we often had a $200K+ combined income but never felt well off. Maybe LBYM without realizing it.

 

[cyber888]

Thanks to all who have replied so far. Its been very reassuring to me. I do have a confession, I chose the title mostly as click bait to attract attention to the thread. .

Ok, well in that case, eat some beans till you feel the gas building up, and you can rip out the biggest fart on your boss face.

 

[Mr._Graybeard]

I’m going to go against the grain a little. They don’t call it FU money for no reason. I think we as a society have become too willing to tolerate anti-social behavior. Too willing to pretend people are acting in good faith when they are not. Too willing to pretend people are not scumbags when they are acting like scumbags.

I say let your boss (and more importantly his boss ) know what you think when you leave. Heck, do it on a big conference call so that the rest of the people suffering can cheer while they are on mute.

Everyone is right that there is no upside for you, and probably some downside. But you’ll make it a little less pleasant for a crappy boss, and maybe if we all did that our bosses as a group would be forced to be a little less crappy.

Corporations are amoral by nature. Your troublesome boss may be just a conduit for the overall culture of the business -- in fact, his mission may be to drive out the best-paid people in his department to reduce costs.

One of the side benefits of FU money is that you needn't care what management does. Ignore their machinations and do your thing regardless of their histrionics -- that will really drive them nuts. If you don't meet their numbers, so what?

One of my old w*rk buddies used to laugh and say, "What are they going to do -- fire me?"

 

[Finance Dave]

Welcome to the forum. You've already got almost all the advice I'd give. One thing I'd add is to definitely go for the 50/50 J/S annuity since your DW will likely live longer. Also, do some investigation on when to collect SS for yourself...may be smart for you to take it younger due to your comments about your health/longevity.

Good luck, and congrats...either way you are CLOSE!

 

[FreeBear]

...



DW will surely outlive me; I have bad genes and have already had couple scares, but currently healthy & active. Her family has much more longevity than mine, so I’d prefer to cover her at 100%.

Did a rough budget, came to about $55K a year not counting taxes or healthcare.
I feel like $100K/year should be my target. Also hoping my allocations would allow me to stay under the ACA cliff when my wife decides to retire in a couple years. I recently got on her company’s healthcare when I saw the writing on the wall. Her salary is approx $70k.
I am a little concerned with how motivated she would be to stay working if I were to pull the plug now, so I’m not sure I’d be comfortable if the numbers don’t work now.

Thanks for reading, appreciate any advice. This is a great group, it brightens my day when I get my weekly email update from this site.

Forget about the boss and I agree with that consensus that $$ is not a big problem, assuming your budget is accurate. I'd be more concerned about health insurance given your history and the 5 year span to Medicare. Sounds like ACA is the backup plan if your wife stops w*rking before 65, regardless of the reason. I'd carefully check into coverage. Most ACA plans are HMO. Even the PPO plans tend to be quite limited in who takes them compared to decent corporate PPO ("Cadillac" plans) or traditional medicare. The last thing you want is to lose access to doctors you need and trust.

 

[CuriousJoe]

I tend to agree with the above.


If I felt that I was mistreated, with or without justifications, and I didn't react but

simply walk away, the anger and helplessness can last throughout my life time.


As long as your DW is FULLY on-board with your retirement, why not tell your boss, and his boss, what you think of him. If it jeopardizes your job, you can walk away 'victoriously'.


On the other hand, if your boss's job was jeopardized, you can have an even bigger smile!


Revenge can be a sweet thing

 

[CuriousJoe]

Sorry, mine was in response to #21

 

[LarryMelman]

If you have decided you can leave and want to leave, then waiting till the exit interview to air your concerns accomplishes nothing. Because everyone complains in their exit interview, but does anything ever come of it? You know it doesn't.

You can certainly go to your HR and ask non-specific questions about taking medical (FMLA) leave and dropping hints (of whatever degree you think appropriate) as to why you are asking. By law they cannot retaliate if you follow proper process.

You can drop similar hints in the management chain. If anyone in the company has a soul and actually cares, maybe some good can come of it. If not, you had decided to leave anyway.

The question is, do you want to slink away with your tail between your legs? Others in this thread would describe it as "holding your head high" but I disagree.

I survived a toxic boss situation a couple years ago. After 5 years of stellar reviews and bonuses, my (younger) (foreign) boss started making wild allegations of poor performance and financial threats. He even directly contradicted his past reviews of me. It had started to affect my health. But it also became clear that the corporate culture was spineless - multiple managers told me that it was a shame how I was being treated, and it was not in the company's best interests to treat people that way, but no one would intervene. One higher-up told me to wait for my idiot boss to complete the HR paperwork (which would be full of lies that I could easily disprove, but it wouldn't matter) for a "performance improvement program" which would offer me a small package to leave the company instead. Had he not told me that, I would have left with nothing. But at least I got paid to leave. A year later, I heard that the idiot's local staff had shrunk from 8 to 1, but he was still there. So either he moved on to other victims, or his other staff saw what happened and got out while they could. Don't know, don't care.

I considered ER at that point and wrote about it here. But within 3 months, I was recruited for a better job which I took and enjoy as much as any in my career. That's another story however.

 

[Markola]

Agree with above that exit interviews are useless. Best to bite your tongue and go out on your terms without making those who remain feel awkward, and get on with your life. If you really want an exit interview, write management a letter six months after you leave. My guess is, by then all the gunk will be fully in your rear view mirror and you won’t want to bother.

I advise this as someone who was similarly tempted to “set a few things straight” on my way out, too. I’m so glad I didn’t, because it’s undignified and in the scheme of things, it’s just a job/financial transaction.

 

[Brat]

I agree that sharing your thoughts about the new boss is fruitless.

1: Bring your contact list home.

2: Organize your desk so that if anyone goes through it there is nothing interesting.

3: Ask for a copy of your personnel file which should include any agreements you signed as there. If there is such an agreement have your attorney review it.

4. Give notice.

Don't utter the word retirement, you owe them no reason. It is possible that someone on your contact list will reach out to you for a project.

 

[HI Bill]

Be gracious, don’t burn bridges, don’t harm your reputation on the way out.

+1. I'm at T-5 days from FIRE. I'm trying my best to work hard until the end, and leave my projects in good shape for the incoming managers, whether I like them or not. While I don't ever plan to un-RE, you never know. I'd like to think that my coworkers see me leaving as a good person and manager, and not a bitter, complaining, lazy jerk (or anything along those lines). I live in a small set of islands, and I know people on Maui, Oahu, Hawaii Island, Lanai, Kaho`olawe, and Kauai. Just too small of a place to really burn bridges.

 

[street]

+1. I'm at T-5 days from FIRE. I'm trying my best to work hard until the end, and leave my projects in good shape for the incoming managers, whether I like them or not. While I don't ever plan to un-RE, you never know. I'd like to think that my coworkers see me leaving as a good person and manager, and not a bitter, complaining, lazy jerk (or anything along those lines). I live in a small set of islands, and I know people on Maui, Oahu, Hawaii Island, Lanai, Kaho`olawe, and Kauai. Just too small of a place to really burn bridges.

Yep, I agree also. Living in an small rural area you get to know so many people from surrounding communities also. Everyone knows someone that knows you for one reason or another. Nothing good has ever come from burning bridges.

 

[cyber888]

I forgot to ask if you have kids or grandkids that depend on you And is your area a high cost area ? $2 mil may be fine in low cost area, but a challenge in high cost area.

 

[Blue531]

Leaving them in the dust (retiring asap) is the best way to tell them off. They'll be so envious (that's the narcissist in them) as they watch you quietly, confidently walk away. My boss and the assistant mgr. were both narcissists and it was a very toxic environment for me. I probably owe them a bit of thanks for motivating me to put urgency and focus into my financial situation so I could get away from them. My favorite day was when I told him he could take me off the payroll, that I didn't need the money. I said it quietly and nonchalantly with a friendly smile. Now, whenever I go shopping there and happen to see one of them, they're busy working and I'm not! Best to you in your retirement! If they really are narcissists, just you leaving will be enough to show them!