Can I Tell My Boss What I Really Think of Him?

[roh3]

Been lurking here for a while and feel like I’ve learned a lot, but I really don’t have a natural aptitude for this stuff.

Recently got a new narcissistic 20 something boss to micromanage me along with a reduced territory/salary and a stress level through the roof. Was planning on retiring at 62, but feel I need to make a change now and hoping that can be retirement.

I turned 60 last fall, DW will be 60 very soon. House is paid, no debt to speak of.


Here are my numbers;

Brokerage/bank accounts $380K
My 401(k) $1,050,000
DW 401(k) $280k
My Roth $190k
DW Roth $115k

SS at 62 $25k, at 67 fra would be $35.5k
DW SS approx $20k @ 62, $25 @ fra

I also have a pension that will provide $32K at 65 if I take 100% coverage for my wife, or $35k with 50% spousal coverage. The payout is reduced permanently by 1/2% for each month if I were to start collecting prior to age 65. Non COLA.
DW will surely outlive me; I have bad genes and have already had couple scares, but currently healthy & active. Her family has much more longevity than mine, so I’d prefer to cover her at 100%.

Did a rough budget, came to about $55K a year not counting taxes or healthcare.
I feel like $100K/year should be my target. Also hoping my allocations would allow me to stay under the ACA cliff when my wife decides to retire in a couple years. I recently got on her company’s healthcare when I saw the writing on the wall. Her salary is approx $70k.
I am a little concerned with how motivated she would be to stay working if I were to pull the plug now, so I’m not sure I’d be comfortable if the numbers don’t work now.

Thanks for reading, appreciate any advice. This is a great group, it brightens my day when I get my weekly email update from this site.

 

[travelover]

Welcome. I'd figure out what my healthcare and tax expenses will be and use the Firecalc planner linked at the bottom of the page.

I'm sympathetic about the asshat boss - life is short..

 

[mystang52]

I'll defer to others regarding the financial aspects. I have a few non-financial comments:
Your wife needs to be on board with any decision for you to retire, especially if she has to keep working for the health insurance. I, too, have health issues and it was a significant factor for my early retirement. I had my wife's 100% support for this, and she worked 6 more years before she packed it in. Even 2 years can be a long time if your wife does not agree with the decision.
You didn't mention it in your post, but your post title mentioned telling your boss what you think of him. Don't do it. It may feel momentarily good to vent, but it's a pretty good bet that whatever you might say would fall on deaf ears.
In light of your health issues, if you can do it financially and your wife is supportive, go for it.

 

[pb4uski]

Welcome. I'd figure out what my healthcare and tax expenses will be and use the Firecalc planner linked at the bottom of the page. ...

+1 You can get an idea on health insurance cost from healthsherpa.com

You can get an idea on taxes from TT's What-If worksheet if you use TT, or the dinkytown tax calculator.

When you run FIRECalc, also do a run using the Investigate tab and it will show you your maximum safe spending given the parameters you have provided.

 

[W2R]

Here's my advice: Don't tell your boss what you really think of him, until you have already retired. And really, don't tell him then, either. There just isn't an up side to doing something like that.

As for whether or not you are ready to retire, I agree with the others in this thread - - make sure your wife is 100% on board, make sure you have enough money to live the lifestyle you'd like, work on your numbers to make sure they are correct, don't forget taxes and health insurance, run FIRECalc, and so on. Once you are sure, then give notice and retire.

 

[CSdot]

From your numbers, I'd say you certainly have options. Funny how you have a net worth today that your 20-something asshat boss can only dream of having.

 

[Dtail]

I played around with your figures in Firecalc using 100k spending and 50/50 AA and came up with ~ 129k max spending with 100% success.

 

[MichaelB]

Here's my advice: Don't tell your boss what you really think of him, until you have already retired. And really, don't tell him then, either. There just isn't an up side to doing something like that.

As for whether or not you are ready to retire, I agree with the others in this thread - - make sure your wife is 100% on board, make sure you have enough money to live the lifestyle you'd like, work on your numbers to make sure they are correct, don't forget taxes and health insurance, run FIRECalc, and so on. Once you are sure, then give notice and retire.

Very good advice, this is.

Here are a few questions you may find helpful https://www.early-retirement.org/fo...-answer-before-asking-can-i-retire-69999.html

 

[CardsFan]

Here's my advice: Don't tell your boss what you really think of him, until you have already retired. And really, don't tell him then, either. There just isn't an up side to doing something like that.

Good advice, if you don't like your boss.

I guess I was lucky. No problems with my boss, or his boss.

We had some skirmishes over the years, but in the end, no issues.

 

[UnrealizedPotential]

I will leave it to others to give financial advice. However, I do think not telling your boss what you think of him is good advice. I mean, what difference will it make, even if you decide to retire? This also leaves open the lines of communication should you need to contact your boss about something important immediately after you retire.

 

[Whisper66]

I also took a quick look at your numbers with firecalc. I wouldn't hesitate to retire in your situation if you wish to. Of course run your own numbers in Firecalc, don't trust that any of us fully understand and properly interpret your data.

I assumed:
- you both lived to 92 years old
- both took SS at 62 as you mentioned
- took your non cola pension at 65 with 100% coverage for wife
- you kept a very conservative asset allocation of 50% equities / 50% fixed assets
Results (using "Investigate" tab in Firecalc)
- you could spend up to $127,000 annually and still have a very comfortable 95% confidence that your money would sustain that. Of course if things didn't look as good down the road, can always adjust expenses ..... $127,000 is a lot over the 55,000 normal spend you have so seems like plenty to cover any taxes or health care costs above your normal spend.

I wouldn't bother telling your boss what you think of him. It's just not important and you will likely forget him and other work related BS soon after you retire. Good luck in your decision!

 

[Whisper66]

Just for a second check, I also ran your numbers as discussed in my last post through Optimal Retirement Planner - Extended Parameter Form , another free online calculator used by some on this board. It has more things you can tweak and adjust if you wish but the answer comes back the same .... you can retire if you wish. With the numbers as I input them, I get you could spend up to $143,000 per year in "disposable income" which excludes taxes (so actual spend with taxes could be more).

 

[38Chevy454]

The only thing you might do is mention in the exit interview that work conditions had deteriorated and stress was becoming a health issue. If they ask when the change occurred, just say the approx date that coincides with the new mgr. They can figure it out if they want. You have not said anything negative about the new mgr as a personal attack.

I agree that your numbers seem good to go. Just ensure your wife is OK and supports the plan. Maybe she wants to retire as well? You could also consider taking your pension early, if my calculation is right that is approx 54 months (assuming you have been 60 for around 6 months) x 1/2% per month or 27% reduction. Kind of like SS, you can take early, but with the penalty that is similar approximately 6% per year before FRA. That way you could delay taking SS until FRA for example?

 

[Montecfo]

You are getting some good feedback in this thread. Let me add this: Don't tell your boss what you really think of him, ever. Take the high road and be the bigger person. Just be sweet as pie as you choose how and when to leave employment on your own terms.

Doing so is its own reward.

 

[MarieIG]

Don't tell your Boss off.

See if there are any lateral moves available (due to health insurance purposes). If you are terminated at this point, at least there is unemployment insurance for a few months.

Look into a sabbatical; or leave of absence (even if medical/ stress related).

Speak with DW. Get her on board. But recall, what happened to you could happen to her, i.e. the Boss from Hades; and she also may not want to work to 65.

With regard to SS; you can look at the SS optimizers. If your DW is still working; there might be no point in taking it before she retires. Also, optimizers often have the lower earner take first and the higher earner postpone to age 70 (past full retirement age) to trigger the maximum cash flow which will continue for the survivor spouse. You may want to trigger DW's first - after she retires or after she retires AND turns 65 (if ACA subsidies are a concern). Taking the pension at 65 w/ 100% J&S looks promising; it would not only maximize benefits going forward, it would not count against ACA subsidies when you might need them - pre-65.

 

[MRG]

Don't tell your boss what you think. You may want to but they won't understand. Looks like you are good to go based on others posts so IF your wife is on board walk out with your head higher and don't look back.

Life has a funny way of working out without bs. I left a year before my plan because my VP was a afraid of the CIO, his boss. VP went batty on me because I was telling him the truth about what was wrong with a customer's system. He desperately wanted the problem to be hardware not the software/data incompatibility it was. I retired unexpectedly a couple weeks later. He asked if I was leaving because of his nonsense and I ignored him.

Later he told me he was recently divorced, 50 years old(I was 56), and would need to work to 70 at best. I listened and never said I what I thought. I learned a year later both he and the CIO were riffed. A while later a trusted friend suggested I thank the VP for getting me out of Megacorp. Maybe that's your new bosses job? Maybe you and DW can both go now?

 

[Irishgirlyc58]

No one wants financial advice from me!

But on the issue of saying something to your boss, don’t do it unless he/she is doing something illegal or immoral.
People have different styles and sometimes we click with the other person’s style and sometimes we don’t. It doesn’t make either one wrong it just is.
And I say that as someone who does not currently click with the person running the county I work for. Got along great with the last person. Current person not so much. But he has a right to his own style.

And what others have said is true. Once you are retired and removed from the issue you will forget about it.

Congratulations on your retirement!

 

[Aerides]

+17 or whatever on holding your tongue and taking the high road. Your future self will feel better if you just let this one go.

 

[travelover]

I agree don't tell your boss what you think of him - just sucker punch him.





Just kidding. Once you retire, you'll soon forget the little jerk's name.

 

[KrisQuit]

You decide, with the data you have, the calculators, and suggestions from this board and others if this is a good time to retire.

Regarding your boss . . . I would recommend that you write down your thoughts to fully articulate how this feels for you—possibly a cathartic release. It will be good for you to see the issues written down as you perceive them. Then print out the document, put it in an envelope, and put a date on it one year from today. On that day (likely you may be retired) read the document, consider if it still matters, and if it does be grateful that it is over.

Be gracious, don’t burn bridges, don’t harm your reputation on the way out.

 

[Hamlet]

I’m going to go against the grain a little. They don’t call it FU money for no reason. I think we as a society have become too willing to tolerate anti-social behavior. Too willing to pretend people are acting in good faith when they are not. Too willing to pretend people are not scumbags when they are acting like scumbags.

I say let your boss (and more importantly his boss ) know what you think when you leave. Heck, do it on a big conference call so that the rest of the people suffering can cheer while they are on mute.

Everyone is right that there is no upside for you, and probably some downside. But you’ll make it a little less pleasant for a crappy boss, and maybe if we all did that our bosses as a group would be forced to be a little less crappy.

 

[harley]

I’m going to go against the grain a little. They don’t call it FU money for no reason. I think we as a society have become too willing to tolerate anti-social behavior. Too willing to pretend people are acting in good faith when they are not. Too willing to pretend people are not scumbags when they are acting like scumbags.

I say let your boss (and more importantly his boss ) know what you think when you leave. Heck, do it on a big conference call so that the rest of the people suffering can cheer while they are on mute.

Everyone is right that there is no upside for you, and probably some downside. But you’ll make it a little less pleasant for a crappy boss, and maybe if we all did that our bosses as a group would be forced to be a little less crappy.

If there is an exit interview with the boss's boss, you could mention a few specifics. But I wouldn't bother talking to the boss. Seriously, when you were in your 20s would you have paid any attention to something some 60 y.o. person said to you? I doubt it.

 

[target2019]

Since you'll be 61 this fall, you could set your internal date for then, or maybe end of year. Then you have plenty of time to discuss this with spouse. You'll also want a good inventory of work perks that you might get in the first couple of months next year. It's your call and you do have enough.

When I made a similar decision the last few months were a relief. Any pressure from work nonsense was deflected.

 

[TNBigfoot]

I’ll only comment on the boss situation. I faced a similar situation in my late 50’s and fortunately outlasted him and continued on to retirement in Dec at 63.

For me, I would not confront the boss just to make myself feel better. If it could be done in a way that is constructive and helps him develop as a leader, by all means, yes. Think of all those that follow you that will have to put up with the micromanagement. Perhaps a good two way conversation would help the boss and your colleagues.

 

[Nemo2]

Told a boss exactly what I thought of her once......boy, those stalking/harassment charges can get serious.