Join Early Retirement Today
Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
ER after disability
Old 12-26-2016, 11:35 AM   #1
Confused about dryer sheets
 
Join Date: Dec 2016
Posts: 6
ER after disability

Hello, new member here. I recently found this forum and itís great. Hereís some background on me. Iím 57 years old, married, 3 kids, 2 in college. Iím a former corporate executive, then small business owner. I suffered a stroke in 2013, which led to me having to first downsize, then sell the business (which took an agonizing year and a half). Fortunately, my investments and the proceeds from the business left me in fairly decent shape financially (although much less than I thought I would have by retirement). Iím also currently receiving monthly SSA disability payments, as the stroke left me with fairly substantial right side weakness and I can barely speak without significant effort. I can also no longer write. I have to do most things left handed, although Iím right handed.

DW was a stay at home mom (our choice) and hasnít worked (she was a teacher) since our first child was born. We have no debt, the house is paid for (fortunately, prior to the stroke). I was averaging over seven figures annually (paid a LOT of taxes), and managed to fully fund 529 plans for kidsí college.

My current annual expenses are very close to being covered by dividend and interest income, a small note from the purchaser of some of the business assets, and SSA payments. However, even though I mostly lived well below my means for years, I did purchase a large home (over 6,000 square feet, full finished basement, pool), at probably the exact wrong time. The neighborhood was very hot when I bought. Since then, the house has gone down in market value over 20%. Moreover, houses of this size require a pretty fair amount of upkeep (I painted the entire interior myself prior to the stroke). Weíll be looking to downsize in the next couple of years. The house needs a lot of work and now Iím faced with putting more money into a depreciated asset or doing a lot of the work myself (left handed) or some combination of the two. I wasnít expecting to retire this early due to unexpected health issues but I certainly did not anticipate becoming a slave to a large house. This, along with the health problems, is really putting a damper on my ability to enjoy my newfound freedom from the rat race. Not to mention the havoc the effects of the stroke are having on my social life, which Iím constantly trying to learn to deal with; itís unnerving to suddenly find yourself in your mid to late 50s nearly unable to communicate vocally, especially if there is even the slightest level of background noise. I know, things could be a lot worse; I continually try to remind myself of that. At least my cognitive abilities werenít negatively impacted (I think).

Anyone else out there dealing with any similar issues?
__________________

Galt21 is offline   Reply With Quote
Join the #1 Early Retirement and Financial Independence Forum Today - It's Totally Free!

Are you planning to be financially independent as early as possible so you can live life on your own terms? Discuss successful investing strategies, asset allocation models, tax strategies and other related topics in our online forum community. Our members range from young folks just starting their journey to financial independence, military retirees and even multimillionaires. No matter where you fit in you'll find that Early-Retirement.org is a great community to join. Best of all it's totally FREE!

You are currently viewing our boards as a guest so you have limited access to our community. Please take the time to register and you will gain a lot of great new features including; the ability to participate in discussions, network with our members, see fewer ads, upload photographs, create a retirement blog, send private messages and so much, much more!

Old 12-26-2016, 11:47 AM   #2
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Nodak's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Cavalier
Posts: 2,317
I have no experience in dealing with what you're experiencing but welcome aboard. This is a great forum.
__________________

__________________
"Don't take life so serious, son. It ain't nohow permanent." Pogo Possum (Walt Kelly)
Nodak is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-26-2016, 01:25 PM   #3
Moderator Emeritus
Bestwifeever's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 17,736
Quote:
Originally Posted by Galt21 View Post

At least my cognitive abilities werenít negatively impacted....
Based on your post, no, they certainly were not! Welcome.
__________________
ďWould you like an adventure now, or would you like to have your tea first?Ē J.M. Barrie, Peter Pan
Bestwifeever is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-26-2016, 02:25 PM   #4
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Teacher Terry's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 4,841
A friend of mine lost his ability to hear/talk due to cancer surgery. He used an Ipad to talk for him. He typed into it. I know this won;t be easy for you since you have to type with your left hand. I used to work with people with disabilities and their are many devices that can help you communicate. You would also qualify for a free TTY so you can make phone calls. You type instead of talking. You need a landline for this. I am so glad it did not affect your cognitive abilities as that is usually the case. It is so hard to have a stroke and then learn to live with the deficits. It sounds like downsizing would be a good move even though you will loose $. We downsized at your age to 1400 sq ft and never regretted it. Life is too short to spend it cleaning)
Teacher Terry is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-26-2016, 03:25 PM   #5
Moderator
MBAustin's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 6,139
Welcome, Galt21! It sounds like you are doing quite well adapting to your 'new normal'. DH ER'd at 55 due to disability, although his was progressive (MS) so it wasn't a surprise. We did downsize (3,400 to 2,400 sq. ft., and 2 stories to 1), but I was still w*rking at the time so we had to hire people for the work on both houses (we did a major remodel on our retirement house before moving in). I think talking with a realtor (or 2 or 3) familiar with your area to get a realistic idea of what you would have to put into the house to sell it at a reasonable price would be a good start. Also decluttering a little at a time is also a good start.

Personally, I would either use investments to buy downsized house and move before fixing up current house, or move into a rental apartment or house while the major work is being done and the house staged and sold. Trying to sell a house while you are living in it is very stressful in all kinds of ways.

Best of luck and hope we can be helpful to you.

PS I agree with Teacher Terry that there is a lot of adaptive technology that might be very helpful to you and certainly worth looking into.
__________________
"One of the funny things about the stock market is that every time one person buys, another sells, and both think they are astute." William Feather
----------------------------------
ER'd Oct. 2010 at 53. Life is good.
MBAustin is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-27-2016, 09:07 AM   #6
Recycles dryer sheets
Richard4444's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: South Florida
Posts: 482
Quote:
Originally Posted by Galt21 View Post
Anyone else out there dealing with any similar issues?
Welcome Galt21

I also was forced to ER due to a disability. I was a practicing Dentist for 20 years and at 45, at the height of my practice, due to gradually declining vision which eventually led to (bilateral) legal blindness, was told by my Doc to quit. Very very very life changing. For 13 years, if I couldn't touch you (3 feet distance), I couldn't see your face. I went back to school and became a Clinical Social Worker (MSW, LCSW) which I have done and still do as a volunteer part time. It's a new normal which took me quite a while to mentally adjust to, and after a few surgeries over the past few years, I have had some improvement.

Your situation is totally different from mine, but there are medical reasons why some are 'forced,' not opt to ER, and these medical reasons all have 'loss' as a commonality. We all have the potential to mentally adapt to our new situation, and if you need counseling to help you, then do it. I am extremely grateful for how things have ultimately turned out for me, and for my different perspective on things.

I am certain that you will find support on this Board.

Best to you.

Rich
Richard4444 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-27-2016, 09:53 AM   #7
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
street's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 3,160
I am new here also and you found a great place to be part of. I'm sorry to hear of your stroke you have a positive attitude.
street is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 12-27-2016, 12:55 PM   #8
Recycles dryer sheets
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Thousand Oaks
Posts: 284
Wow, your story is remarkably similar to mine. I too suffered a stroke in my mid-50s. Luckily there was no paralysis and I had just crossed the last employment-related threshold I wanted to cross and am in fine shape financially. But I've had to deal with a lot of balance issues. It's been five years so far, and still not quite there yet. I've come a long way back though (got my license reinstated two years ago) so bear in mind that progress is really sloooowww.
You've got a great attitude and no cognitive disabilities. The people here are swell and this board is a great place to spend time.
__________________
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day.
Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
chilkoot is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-27-2016, 01:27 PM   #9
Confused about dryer sheets
 
Join Date: Dec 2016
Posts: 6
Thanks for all the wonderful comments. Very much appreciated.
Galt21 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-27-2016, 02:18 PM   #10
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
MRG's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 8,956
Sorry to hear of your situation. You have the right attitude to succeed.
It's funny how many folks who find this board at exactly the right time. That's how I came here. Welcome to the board you'll find a wealth of information about retirement, and many other subjects. I know you are thinking about the house, as someone who had some non-optimal real Estate transactions, it will work out.

ETA: Even though our last real estate transaction was less than excellent the relief when it closed, was!
MRG is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-27-2016, 02:43 PM   #11
Confused about dryer sheets
 
Join Date: Dec 2016
Posts: 6
Quote:
Originally Posted by Richard4444 View Post
Welcome Galt21

I also was forced to ER due to a disability. I was a practicing Dentist for 20 years and at 45, at the height of my practice, due to gradually declining vision which eventually led to (bilateral) legal blindness, was told by my Doc to quit. Very very very life changing. For 13 years, if I couldn't touch you (3 feet distance), I couldn't see your face. I went back to school and became a Clinical Social Worker (MSW, LCSW) which I have done and still do as a volunteer part time. It's a new normal which took me quite a while to mentally adjust to, and after a few surgeries over the past few years, I have had some improvement.

Your situation is totally different from mine, but there are medical reasons why some are 'forced,' not opt to ER, and these medical reasons all have 'loss' as a commonality. We all have the potential to mentally adapt to our new situation, and if you need counseling to help you, then do it. I am extremely grateful for how things have ultimately turned out for me, and for my different perspective on things.

I am certain that you will find support on this Board.

Best to you.

Rich
Thanks, Rich. I really feel for your situation. After the years of dental education and 20 years of a thriving practice, that had to have been extremely hard to deal with. I came from a lower middle class background and spent 10 years working and going to college. I managed to get a BS and MBA, and paid every cent while supporting myself. To get the rug pulled out from under you in your prime is heart wrenching. The fact that you can express gratitude for the way things worked out for you is really exemplary. Best of luck to you.
Galt21 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-27-2016, 02:49 PM   #12
Confused about dryer sheets
 
Join Date: Dec 2016
Posts: 6
Quote:
Originally Posted by chilkoot View Post
Wow, your story is remarkably similar to mine. I too suffered a stroke in my mid-50s. Luckily there was no paralysis and I had just crossed the last employment-related threshold I wanted to cross and am in fine shape financially. But I've had to deal with a lot of balance issues. It's been five years so far, and still not quite there yet. I've come a long way back though (got my license reinstated two years ago) so bear in mind that progress is really sloooowww.
You've got a great attitude and no cognitive disabilities. The people here are swell and this board is a great place to spend time.
Thanks. Sorry about your stroke. Driving was never brought up as an issue for me so I just kept going. Unfortunately, I was always partial to manual transmissions so I had some relearning to do. It can be VERY stressful at times, though.
Galt21 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-27-2016, 05:43 PM   #13
Recycles dryer sheets
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 222
Hi Galt21,
I too had to downsize from a Medical Practice at age 50 due a life changing road accident & finally retire last year at 59.

After my knee underwent a series of reconstructive surgeries with multiple knee replacements due to unfortunate repeated staph infections I was on bed for several years with several courses of prolonged iv antibiotics.
Now I am left with a weak & shortened right leg to walk on, after being a resident patient for years & years in the Physical Therapy.
My balance is borderline & am subject to repeated falls while walking with a cane, one of them led to a recent ankle fracture, which needed a few nails and back again into physical therapy. So life has been challenging & humbling at the same time.

Through all this, I am lucky to have solid support of DW & a private individual disability policy which pays for our monthly expenses & then some till age 65. Our house was paid off & we too had completed funding the 529s for our 2 kids before the accident. By the way both are out of the nest, working & are on their own. I have not yet needed to touch our investments.

Yes, earlier this year we moved to a 1 story 2300 sqft house from a 3600 + sqft 2 story white elephant of a house with large grounds & a (unused but maintained) pool. It is in the process of being sold after 8 months on the Market & some work to get it in shape. It will be a relief when it sells.
Our Office building where I used to practice, has been rented out at present & when opportune times comes will be put on the market.
I am with you, managing Real Estate becomes overwhelming while nursing a disability. Even though before the accident all work was done by hired help as I did not have any inclination, skills nor the time needed to work around the house & the Office.
You want to reduce your commitments & demands on your physical efforts to a minimum.

Yes I was depressed during the initial years of this ill fated & totally unexpected changei n my lifestyle. At the end of the day, one makes lemonade if left with nothing else but lemons.
Since I totally retired last year, the stress & demands of managing a solo practice in the sea of changes presently the medical care industry is going through is totally gone. That was a major relief for me.
I totally identify with you, your frustration at this Stroke related disability, but keep your chin high & identify your problems & work through them one at a time. You will come through in the end, it may not be a total restore of function but I am sure & hope you will recover to an extent where one can lead a comfortable life with in reason.
I have seen many of my patients recover to a good extent with time & regular physical Therapy. Always keep your BP in control & be regular on your doctor visits & medications.

Wishing you good luck in your recovery.
rkser is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-27-2016, 06:19 PM   #14
Confused about dryer sheets
 
Join Date: Dec 2016
Posts: 6
Quote:
Originally Posted by rkser View Post
Hi Galt21,
I too had to downsize from a Medical Practice at age 50 due a life changing road accident & finally retire last year at 59.

After my knee underwent a series of reconstructive surgeries with multiple knee replacements due to unfortunate repeated staph infections I was on bed for several years with several courses of prolonged iv antibiotics.
Now I am left with a weak & shortened right leg to walk on, after being a resident patient for years & years in the Physical Therapy.
My balance is borderline & am subject to repeated falls while walking with a cane, one of them led to a recent ankle fracture, which needed a few nails and back again into physical therapy. So life has been challenging & humbling at the same time.

Through all this, I am lucky to have solid support of DW & a private individual disability policy which pays for our monthly expenses & then some till age 65. Our house was paid off & we too had completed funding the 529s for our 2 kids before the accident. By the way both are out of the nest, working & are on their own. I have not yet needed to touch our investments.

Yes, earlier this year we moved to a 1 story 2300 sqft house from a 3600 + sqft 2 story white elephant of a house with large grounds & a (unused but maintained) pool. It is in the process of being sold after 8 months on the Market & some work to get it in shape. It will be a relief when it sells.
Our Office building where I used to practice, has been rented out at present & when opportune times comes will be put on the market.
I am with you, managing Real Estate becomes overwhelming while nursing a disability. Even though before the accident all work was done by hired help as I did not have any inclination, skills nor the time needed to work around the house & the Office.
You want to reduce your commitments & demands on your physical efforts to a minimum.

Yes I was depressed during the initial years of this ill fated & totally unexpected changei n my lifestyle. At the end of the day, one makes lemonade if left with nothing else but lemons.
Since I totally retired last year, the stress & demands of managing a solo practice in the sea of changes presently the medical care industry is going through is totally gone. That was a major relief for me.
I totally identify with you, your frustration at this Stroke related disability, but keep your chin high & identify your problems & work through them one at a time. You will come through in the end, it may not be a total restore of function but I am sure & hope you will recover to an extent where one can lead a comfortable life with in reason.
I have seen many of my patients recover to a good extent with time & regular physical Therapy. Always keep your BP in control & be regular on your doctor visits & medications.

Wishing you good luck in your recovery.
Rkser, thank you very much for sharing your experience. I place a high value on other people's time, and the amount of time that you spent on this is very much appreciated. I admire your courage in the face of such adversity.
__________________

Galt21 is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Continue Private DIsability Insurance after ER? Clover5 FIRE and Money 5 09-23-2013 01:08 PM
Social Security Disability dwk FIRE and Money 18 11-16-2012 10:28 AM
Advice regarding social security disability dwk FIRE and Money 16 09-08-2006 03:35 PM
Disability Insurance/LTC ferco FIRE and Money 10 01-01-2006 08:11 AM
ltc & disability insurance frugal Other topics 7 12-08-2003 08:14 AM

» Quick Links

 
All times are GMT -6. The time now is 10:00 AM.
 
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2020, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
×