ER after disability

[Galt21]

Hello, new member here. I recently found this forum and it’s great. Here’s some background on me. I’m 57 years old, married, 3 kids, 2 in college. I’m a former corporate executive, then small business owner. I suffered a stroke in 2013, which led to me having to first downsize, then sell the business (which took an agonizing year and a half). Fortunately, my investments and the proceeds from the business left me in fairly decent shape financially (although much less than I thought I would have by retirement). I’m also currently receiving monthly SSA disability payments, as the stroke left me with fairly substantial right side weakness and I can barely speak without significant effort. I can also no longer write. I have to do most things left handed, although I’m right handed.

DW was a stay at home mom (our choice) and hasn’t worked (she was a teacher) since our first child was born. We have no debt, the house is paid for (fortunately, prior to the stroke). I was averaging over seven figures annually (paid a LOT of taxes), and managed to fully fund 529 plans for kids’ college.

My current annual expenses are very close to being covered by dividend and interest income, a small note from the purchaser of some of the business assets, and SSA payments. However, even though I mostly lived well below my means for years, I did purchase a large home (over 6,000 square feet, full finished basement, pool), at probably the exact wrong time. The neighborhood was very hot when I bought. Since then, the house has gone down in market value over 20%. Moreover, houses of this size require a pretty fair amount of upkeep (I painted the entire interior myself prior to the stroke). We’ll be looking to downsize in the next couple of years. The house needs a lot of work and now I’m faced with putting more money into a depreciated asset or doing a lot of the work myself (left handed) or some combination of the two. I wasn’t expecting to retire this early due to unexpected health issues but I certainly did not anticipate becoming a slave to a large house. This, along with the health problems, is really putting a damper on my ability to enjoy my newfound freedom from the rat race. Not to mention the havoc the effects of the stroke are having on my social life, which I’m constantly trying to learn to deal with; it’s unnerving to suddenly find yourself in your mid to late 50s nearly unable to communicate vocally, especially if there is even the slightest level of background noise. I know, things could be a lot worse; I continually try to remind myself of that. At least my cognitive abilities weren’t negatively impacted (I think).

Anyone else out there dealing with any similar issues?

 

[Nodak]

I have no experience in dealing with what you're experiencing but welcome aboard. This is a great forum.

 

[Bestwifeever]

At least my cognitive abilities weren’t negatively impacted....

Based on your post, no, they certainly were not! Welcome.

 

[Teacher Terry]

A friend of mine lost his ability to hear/talk due to cancer surgery. He used an Ipad to talk for him. He typed into it. I know this won;t be easy for you since you have to type with your left hand. I used to work with people with disabilities and their are many devices that can help you communicate. You would also qualify for a free TTY so you can make phone calls. You type instead of talking. You need a landline for this. I am so glad it did not affect your cognitive abilities as that is usually the case. It is so hard to have a stroke and then learn to live with the deficits. It sounds like downsizing would be a good move even though you will loose $. We downsized at your age to 1400 sq ft and never regretted it. Life is too short to spend it cleaning)

 

[MBAustin]

Welcome, Galt21! It sounds like you are doing quite well adapting to your 'new normal'. DH ER'd at 55 due to disability, although his was progressive (MS) so it wasn't a surprise. We did downsize (3,400 to 2,400 sq. ft., and 2 stories to 1), but I was still w*rking at the time so we had to hire people for the work on both houses (we did a major remodel on our retirement house before moving in). I think talking with a realtor (or 2 or 3) familiar with your area to get a realistic idea of what you would have to put into the house to sell it at a reasonable price would be a good start. Also decluttering a little at a time is also a good start.

Personally, I would either use investments to buy downsized house and move before fixing up current house, or move into a rental apartment or house while the major work is being done and the house staged and sold. Trying to sell a house while you are living in it is very stressful in all kinds of ways.

Best of luck and hope we can be helpful to you.

PS I agree with Teacher Terry that there is a lot of adaptive technology that might be very helpful to you and certainly worth looking into.

 

[Richard4444]

Anyone else out there dealing with any similar issues?

Welcome Galt21

I also was forced to ER due to a disability. I was a practicing Dentist for 20 years and at 45, at the height of my practice, due to gradually declining vision which eventually led to (bilateral) legal blindness, was told by my Doc to quit. Very very very life changing. For 13 years, if I couldn't touch you (3 feet distance), I couldn't see your face. I went back to school and became a Clinical Social Worker (MSW, LCSW) which I have done and still do as a volunteer part time. It's a new normal which took me quite a while to mentally adjust to, and after a few surgeries over the past few years, I have had some improvement.

Your situation is totally different from mine, but there are medical reasons why some are 'forced,' not opt to ER, and these medical reasons all have 'loss' as a commonality. We all have the potential to mentally adapt to our new situation, and if you need counseling to help you, then do it. I am extremely grateful for how things have ultimately turned out for me, and for my different perspective on things.

I am certain that you will find support on this Board.

Best to you.

Rich

 

[street]

I am new here also and you found a great place to be part of. I'm sorry to hear of your stroke you have a positive attitude.

 

[chilkoot]

Wow, your story is remarkably similar to mine. I too suffered a stroke in my mid-50s. Luckily there was no paralysis and I had just crossed the last employment-related threshold I wanted to cross and am in fine shape financially. But I've had to deal with a lot of balance issues. It's been five years so far, and still not quite there yet. I've come a long way back though (got my license reinstated two years ago) so bear in mind that progress is really sloooowww.
You've got a great attitude and no cognitive disabilities. The people here are swell and this board is a great place to spend time.

 

[Galt21]

Thanks for all the wonderful comments. Very much appreciated.

 

[MRG]

Sorry to hear of your situation. You have the right attitude to succeed.
It's funny how many folks who find this board at exactly the right time. That's how I came here. Welcome to the board you'll find a wealth of information about retirement, and many other subjects. I know you are thinking about the house, as someone who had some non-optimal real Estate transactions, it will work out.

ETA: Even though our last real estate transaction was less than excellent the relief when it closed, was!

 

[Galt21]

Welcome Galt21

I also was forced to ER due to a disability. I was a practicing Dentist for 20 years and at 45, at the height of my practice, due to gradually declining vision which eventually led to (bilateral) legal blindness, was told by my Doc to quit. Very very very life changing. For 13 years, if I couldn't touch you (3 feet distance), I couldn't see your face. I went back to school and became a Clinical Social Worker (MSW, LCSW) which I have done and still do as a volunteer part time. It's a new normal which took me quite a while to mentally adjust to, and after a few surgeries over the past few years, I have had some improvement.

Your situation is totally different from mine, but there are medical reasons why some are 'forced,' not opt to ER, and these medical reasons all have 'loss' as a commonality. We all have the potential to mentally adapt to our new situation, and if you need counseling to help you, then do it. I am extremely grateful for how things have ultimately turned out for me, and for my different perspective on things.

I am certain that you will find support on this Board.

Best to you.

Rich

Thanks, Rich. I really feel for your situation. After the years of dental education and 20 years of a thriving practice, that had to have been extremely hard to deal with. I came from a lower middle class background and spent 10 years working and going to college. I managed to get a BS and MBA, and paid every cent while supporting myself. To get the rug pulled out from under you in your prime is heart wrenching. The fact that you can express gratitude for the way things worked out for you is really exemplary. Best of luck to you.

 

[Galt21]

Wow, your story is remarkably similar to mine. I too suffered a stroke in my mid-50s. Luckily there was no paralysis and I had just crossed the last employment-related threshold I wanted to cross and am in fine shape financially. But I've had to deal with a lot of balance issues. It's been five years so far, and still not quite there yet. I've come a long way back though (got my license reinstated two years ago) so bear in mind that progress is really sloooowww.
You've got a great attitude and no cognitive disabilities. The people here are swell and this board is a great place to spend time.

Thanks. Sorry about your stroke. Driving was never brought up as an issue for me so I just kept going. Unfortunately, I was always partial to manual transmissions so I had some relearning to do. It can be VERY stressful at times, though.

 

[rkser]

Hi Galt21,
I too had to downsize from a Medical Practice at age 50 due a life changing road accident & finally retire last year at 59.

After my knee underwent a series of reconstructive surgeries with multiple knee replacements due to unfortunate repeated staph infections I was on bed for several years with several courses of prolonged iv antibiotics.
Now I am left with a weak & shortened right leg to walk on, after being a resident patient for years & years in the Physical Therapy.
My balance is borderline & am subject to repeated falls while walking with a cane, one of them led to a recent ankle fracture, which needed a few nails and back again into physical therapy. So life has been challenging & humbling at the same time.

Through all this, I am lucky to have solid support of DW & a private individual disability policy which pays for our monthly expenses & then some till age 65. Our house was paid off & we too had completed funding the 529s for our 2 kids before the accident. By the way both are out of the nest, working & are on their own. I have not yet needed to touch our investments.

Yes, earlier this year we moved to a 1 story 2300 sqft house from a 3600 + sqft 2 story white elephant of a house with large grounds & a (unused but maintained) pool. It is in the process of being sold after 8 months on the Market & some work to get it in shape. It will be a relief when it sells.
Our Office building where I used to practice, has been rented out at present & when opportune times comes will be put on the market.
I am with you, managing Real Estate becomes overwhelming while nursing a disability. Even though before the accident all work was done by hired help as I did not have any inclination, skills nor the time needed to work around the house & the Office.
You want to reduce your commitments & demands on your physical efforts to a minimum.

Yes I was depressed during the initial years of this ill fated & totally unexpected changei n my lifestyle. At the end of the day, one makes lemonade if left with nothing else but lemons.
Since I totally retired last year, the stress & demands of managing a solo practice in the sea of changes presently the medical care industry is going through is totally gone. That was a major relief for me.
I totally identify with you, your frustration at this Stroke related disability, but keep your chin high & identify your problems & work through them one at a time. You will come through in the end, it may not be a total restore of function but I am sure & hope you will recover to an extent where one can lead a comfortable life with in reason.
I have seen many of my patients recover to a good extent with time & regular physical Therapy. Always keep your BP in control & be regular on your doctor visits & medications.

Wishing you good luck in your recovery.

 

[Galt21]

Hi Galt21,
I too had to downsize from a Medical Practice at age 50 due a life changing road accident & finally retire last year at 59.

After my knee underwent a series of reconstructive surgeries with multiple knee replacements due to unfortunate repeated staph infections I was on bed for several years with several courses of prolonged iv antibiotics.
Now I am left with a weak & shortened right leg to walk on, after being a resident patient for years & years in the Physical Therapy.
My balance is borderline & am subject to repeated falls while walking with a cane, one of them led to a recent ankle fracture, which needed a few nails and back again into physical therapy. So life has been challenging & humbling at the same time.

Through all this, I am lucky to have solid support of DW & a private individual disability policy which pays for our monthly expenses & then some till age 65. Our house was paid off & we too had completed funding the 529s for our 2 kids before the accident. By the way both are out of the nest, working & are on their own. I have not yet needed to touch our investments.

Yes, earlier this year we moved to a 1 story 2300 sqft house from a 3600 + sqft 2 story white elephant of a house with large grounds & a (unused but maintained) pool. It is in the process of being sold after 8 months on the Market & some work to get it in shape. It will be a relief when it sells.
Our Office building where I used to practice, has been rented out at present & when opportune times comes will be put on the market.
I am with you, managing Real Estate becomes overwhelming while nursing a disability. Even though before the accident all work was done by hired help as I did not have any inclination, skills nor the time needed to work around the house & the Office.
You want to reduce your commitments & demands on your physical efforts to a minimum.

Yes I was depressed during the initial years of this ill fated & totally unexpected changei n my lifestyle. At the end of the day, one makes lemonade if left with nothing else but lemons.
Since I totally retired last year, the stress & demands of managing a solo practice in the sea of changes presently the medical care industry is going through is totally gone. That was a major relief for me.
I totally identify with you, your frustration at this Stroke related disability, but keep your chin high & identify your problems & work through them one at a time. You will come through in the end, it may not be a total restore of function but I am sure & hope you will recover to an extent where one can lead a comfortable life with in reason.
I have seen many of my patients recover to a good extent with time & regular physical Therapy. Always keep your BP in control & be regular on your doctor visits & medications.

Wishing you good luck in your recovery.

Rkser, thank you very much for sharing your experience. I place a high value on other people's time, and the amount of time that you spent on this is very much appreciated. I admire your courage in the face of such adversity.