Getting ready, but with mixed feelings

[Greddy]

Hello all,

this is an attempt to become active in this community. I am reaching a milestone birthday shortly, and am starting to wonder when (or if) to retire and all things connected to that. I have been following this forum occasionally as a lurker, but now may have to become more serious about engaging also actively.

Currently I hold an engineering/enginerding job and am overall happy with my profession. However, I notice that as time passes, I am getting more and more annoyed with ever increasing paperwork (we need a new term for that considering we are moving away from paper) and also office politics. Also, the overall niceness of co-workers and bosses seems to declining (Or is it my own niceness that is declining? Or am I just starting to see things that I earlier overlooked? Or am I just getting paranoid in these times of Covid?).

In any case, ER is something I am starting to consider more and more seriously. It's not the core part of my work that's bothering me though, and that is why I am quite torn.

 

[Ronstar]

Jump in. The water’s fine!

 

[Greddy]

Jump in. The water’s fine!

But I am in the San Francisco Bay Area! The water here is usually freeeeeeezing

 

[Dtail]

If you wish to provide any financial details, we can offer some advise on where you stand.
Nevertheless, welcome officially to our wonderful forum.

 

[Greddy]

If you wish to provide any financial details, we can offer some advise on where you stand.
Nevertheless, welcome officially to our wonderful forum.

Ok, am approaching the big 5-0, very roughly $1M in RE (doesn't mean much in the SF East Bay), roughly $2M pre-tax in 403b, and roughly $300k post tax. May eventually move away from the Bay Area after ER (the water is too cold to jump in, and there are the fires, the virus, and the traffic). My guess is this should be roughly enough, but I suppose I have to do some FireCalcing etc...

But besides the finances, the big question is, what ways are there to reduce the bs component (annoying colleagues and annoying tasks). Perhaps I am just getting too sensitive about it all, and then I could just continue in my job, which in principle I quite like and which I view as my anti-Alzheimer regimen...

Are there more narcissists now than earlier? Or are my narcissist allergies just flaring up more than earlier? In which case, is there some kind of Benadryl?

 

[levindb]

You may need to focus...

I would strongly encourage you to retire TO something, rather than FROM something. In your brief introduction you mention what keeps you unhappy during the week...but no mention of family, hobbies, stuff that makes you HAPPY!!!

Spend some time thinking about how you want to spend your days...and your nights...and your weekends. You will have 40-50 years of being unemployed, if you wish, and you need to feel relevant. Volunteer, learn to paint, or play an instrument? How about traveling the world? What country do you wan to spend those 50 years in?

Start with that stuff, and keep asking questions of this group, as many of us have gone through the same process...

 

[Greddy]

I would strongly encourage you to retire TO something, rather than FROM something. In your brief introduction you mention what keeps you unhappy during the week...but no mention of family, hobbies, stuff that makes you HAPPY!!!

Spend some time thinking about how you want to spend your days...and your nights...and your weekends. You will have 40-50 years of being unemployed, if you wish, and you need to feel relevant. Volunteer, learn to paint, or play an instrument? How about traveling the world? What country do you wan to spend those 50 years in?

Start with that stuff, and keep asking questions of this group, as many of us have gone through the same process...

Yes, that's a very good point. One aspect is that I really like my work, and I always had the model that I never retire at all and just keep on working, and once it is without pay, just by focusing on the things I find interesting. Many researchers are actually like that, their work becomes their passion. Think Indiana Jones once he can escape the classroom.

I am currently happily together with a partner who is in a similar situation, except he is perhaps not quite as disillusioned about the practical aspects of the job environment, he may perhaps be more thick skinned, or he is more lucky with the environment he is in. We may just stay here in the Bay Area after ER, which in the past has been our favorite place with lots of things we are interested in, both around here and in San Francisco; but this idea is getting more and more cloudy with the orange clouds of the forest fires, and the overall decrease of life's enjoyment due to virus (hopefully temporary), worse and worse traffic, and more and more overcrowding.

But you are right, these questions of the "TO" and the "FOR WHAT" are indeed looming large, and that's why I think I am still early in the process.

 

[Dtail]

Ok, am approaching the big 5-0, very roughly $1M in RE (doesn't mean much in the SF East Bay), roughly $2M pre-tax in 403b, and roughly $300k post tax. May eventually move away from the Bay Area after ER (the water is too cold to jump in, and there are the fires, the virus, and the traffic). My guess is this should be roughly enough, but I suppose I have to do some FireCalcing etc...

But besides the finances, the big question is, what ways are there to reduce the bs component (annoying colleagues and annoying tasks). Perhaps I am just getting too sensitive about it all, and then I could just continue in my job, which in principle I quite like and which I view as my anti-Alzheimer regimen...

Are there more narcissists now than earlier? Or are my narcissist allergies just flaring up more than earlier? In which case, is there some kind of Benadryl?

Try Firecalc and some of the results. Not enough info to hazard a guess.
People do appear to be a little more abrupt and less polite at times these days.
Perhaps a mix of Covid stuff/deep political divide. Who knows....

 

[retired1]

But besides the finances, the big question is, what ways are there to reduce the bs component (annoying colleagues and annoying tasks). Perhaps I am just getting too sensitive about it all, and then I could just continue in my job, which in principle I quite like and which I view as my anti-Alzheimer regimen...

Become an independent consultant. Make more money doing short term contractors (6 mo, 8 mo) while avoiding annoying co-workers & office politics.

 

[stepford]

Make more money doing short term contractors

Sounds like fun, where do I sign up?

 

[pb4uski]

..... But besides the finances, the big question is, what ways are there to reduce the bs component (annoying colleagues and annoying tasks). Perhaps I am just getting too sensitive about it all, and then I could just continue in my job, which in principle I quite like and which I view as my anti-Alzheimer regimen...

Are there more narcissists now than earlier? Or are my narcissist allergies just flaring up more than earlier? In which case, is there some kind of Benadryl?

I downshifted to part-time for a number of years before I retired. Initially, 80% and then 50%... back to 80% for a special project for a client and then back to 50% until I resigned. At our firm, it was x% of pay, x% of bonuses, x% vacation pay, etc... the only thing that was different was health insurance... none for 49% or less but employer provided for 50% or more.

The nice thing about being part-time was that I could opt out of some of the bureaucratic BS. I recall one time that someone was pressuring me to do some bureaucratic BS thing that I thought was a true waste of time... I called my boss and told him that at 50% he had 1,000 hours a year of pb4uski time and did he really want to spend some of that pb4uski time on the objectionable task.... he said "hell no"... I responded that I thought that was a wise decision and he paved the way for me to be relieved of it.

 

[AZ2020]

Greedy,

I was much like you. In tech, getting paid well, an expert at what I was doing, leading a global team, but the paperwork and office politics were never ending.

Once I decided I was leaving, much of the politics ended since I was no longer worried about losing my job. That lasted about 1 year. Once I actually left all the crap just ended. I don't miss it at all!

Others here can advise better on if you are financially prepared. I just wanted to say I shared your thoughts on leaving.

 

[Greddy]

Greedy,

I was much like you. In tech, getting paid well, an expert at what I was doing, leading a global team, but the paperwork and office politics were never ending.

Once I decided I was leaving, much of the politics ended since I was no longer worried about losing my job. That lasted about 1 year. Once I actually left all the crap just ended. I don't miss it at all!

Others here can advise better on if you are financially prepared. I just wanted to say I shared your thoughts on leaving.

Thanks, it's good to hear that I am not the only one with such thoughts. Also it is encouraging to hear that even if one now feels quite embedded in one's work, one can actually disconnect from it. I will have to think about this part much more, right now I think that for me, my work is also my hobby, and so I currently feel reluctant to think I may let it all go.

P.S.: Perhaps the spellchecker played a trick on you, my name on this forum is actually Greddy; and I am not particularly greedy I think.

 

[Greddy]

Become an independent consultant. Make more money doing short term contractors (6 mo, 8 mo) while avoiding annoying co-workers & office politics.

This is also something I have been thinking about, and it may be a realistic possibility. Right now my concern is that lining up these gigs itself may require a certain amount of bs-ing to get the foot in the door, and to meet exactly the requirements they are interested in. I am trying to get a better sense if I could do consulting for my current employer, which may be the simplest since they know me well.

 

[Greddy]

...

The nice thing about being part-time was that I could opt out of some of the bureaucratic BS. I recall one time that someone was pressuring me to do some bureaucratic BS thing that I thought was a true waste of time... I called my boss and told him that at 50% he had 1,000 hours a year of pb4uski time and did he really want to spend some of that pb4uski time on the objectionable task.... he said "hell no"... I responded that I thought that was a wise decision and he paved the way for me to be relieved of it.

That sounds like a good idea if they let you do it, during part time opt out of the bs if they let you do it, and continue doing the interesting stuff.

 

[Greddy]

...
People do appear to be a little more abrupt and less polite at times these days. Perhaps a mix of Covid stuff/deep political divide. Who knows....

This is actually bothering me currently; there is a new colleague who constantly wants to dominate discussions, although to the long term insiders it's fairly clear that what he is producing is mostly hot air. Nevertheless one has to spend time to "officially" debunk some of the strange ideas he brings and document why it wouldn't work. But then he gets all defensive; and so it all takes a lot of mental energy. Probably adding up the effort that all the others are expanding to straighten him out is more than the hours he productively (or even non-productively) contributes to the project. And the anguish about the bs of it all then follows me home and interferes with my free time.

 

[blueskyk]

If your frustration is largely with a single individual, perhaps helping him appreciate how his considerable skills would be a godsend say, over THERE, in another group/dept (assuming your company is big enough) might free up a little space in your head. Nothing like helping an annoying colleague move on down the road....

I also second the part-time move strategy - I did that for years before I retired and it really helped me have a more easygoing vibe at work.

 

[captain3d]

Once I decided I had enough $ to quit, work became more fun, saying no thanks to the things I did not like and speaking my mind without serious consequence. Have not worked for two years now. All is fine.

 

[nobody]

I"m an EE and worked for 20 years. I went to my boss with the following demands cut back to 80% of time (I took 4 day weekend every other week), I want limited travel as I was on the road 50% of my time. Also told my boss no more running big projects, I just want to review others technical work or give me small projects for a couple of clients and I can not be judged if I say no to anything. They agreed to that, also if they wanted me longer then a few years I want to work remote 100%, was denied on that one.

The demands I came up with worked for me took a lot of the BS out of work and I got some time off. Quit cause I had enough money and moved out of state.

 

[pacergal]

OP--
Welcome to the forum! You can learn tremendous things here, I know I have.
It sounds like your "BS bucket" is starting to get full, that is a signal to many.

Run and re-run Firecalc with different scenarios.
Answer the questions in the FAQ section "Can I retire Yet?"
A good book is Ernie Zelinski "How to retire Wild, Happy and Free"

Part time may be a good option for you.
Best of Luck and keep posting any questions, concerns, etc!

 

[mitchjav]

Hello all,

this is an attempt to become active in this community. I am reaching a milestone birthday shortly, and am starting to wonder when (or if) to retire and all things connected to that. I have been following this forum occasionally as a lurker, but now may have to become more serious about engaging also actively.

Currently I hold an engineering/enginerding job and am overall happy with my profession. However, I notice that as time passes, I am getting more and more annoyed with ever increasing paperwork (we need a new term for that considering we are moving away from paper) and also office politics. Also, the overall niceness of co-workers and bosses seems to declining (Or is it my own niceness that is declining? Or am I just starting to see things that I earlier overlooked? Or am I just getting paranoid in these times of Covid?).

In any case, ER is something I am starting to consider more and more seriously. It's not the core part of my work that's bothering me though, and that is why I am quite torn.

I had the same thoughts when I ER'd in November 2018 - core work was fine, it was all the stuff around it that was becoming more and more of a burden...there was a period of adjustment, but now I'm so happy I did it.... if the thought of jumping back in ever crosses my mind, I just remember the "paperwork", the not-so-nice folks, the politics, the pressures, and I thank my lucky stars that I'm out...

 

[retired1]

I"m an EE and worked for 20 years. I went to my boss with the following demands cut back to 80% of time (I took 4 day weekend every other week), I want limited travel as I was on the road 50% of my time. Also told my boss no more running big projects, I just want to review others technical work or give me small projects for a couple of clients and I can not be judged if I say no to anything. They agreed to that, also if they wanted me longer then a few years I want to work remote 100%, was denied on that one.

The demands I came up with worked for me took a lot of the BS out of work and I got some time off. Quit cause I had enough money and moved out of state.

Love it !! I'm also EE/CS engineer and at some point you just have to yank the chain and jump off this train. Life is too short !

 

[AZ2020]

Thanks, it's good to hear that I am not the only one with such thoughts. Also it is encouraging to hear that even if one now feels quite embedded in one's work, one can actually disconnect from it. I will have to think about this part much more, right now I think that for me, my work is also my hobby, and so I currently feel reluctant to think I may let it all go.

P.S.: Perhaps the spellchecker played a trick on you, my name on this forum is actually Greddy; and I am not particularly greedy I think.

Greddy, yes, spellcheck can be a pain sometimes.

I have a lot of hobbies, so I had no time disconnecting. In my case, I've been so busy since retiring that I cannot believe I ever had the time to go to work.

 

[retire to nature]

But besides the finances, the big question is, what ways are there to reduce the bs component (annoying colleagues and annoying tasks). Perhaps I am just getting too sensitive about it all, and then I could just continue in my job, which in principle I quite like and which I view as my anti-Alzheimer regimen...

Are there more narcissists now than earlier? Or are my narcissist allergies just flaring up more than earlier? In which case, is there some kind of Benadryl?

Haha, in my opinion yes there are more narcissists now than earlier. I am allergic to narc too. that's why I want to RE.

 

[Greddy]

Originally Posted by Greddy
But besides the finances, the big question is, what ways are there to reduce the bs component (annoying colleagues and annoying tasks). Perhaps I am just getting too sensitive about it all, and then I could just continue in my job, which in principle I quite like and which I view as my anti-Alzheimer regimen...

Are there more narcissists now than earlier? Or are my narcissist allergies just flaring up more than earlier? In which case, is there some kind of Benadryl?

Haha, in my opinion yes there are more narcissists now than earlier. I am allergic to narc too. that's why I want to RE.

Unfortunately that particular "allergy" can do long term damage to the individual, it's called PNSD. It's a special version of PTSD where the trauma is the narcissist.

It often leads to withdrawing from the world, suspicion, and difficulties with relationships to "normal" people. From my work exposure to narcissism, I have been catching myself snapping at my friend/partner, who is in general a gentle and kind person. See here:

https://www.powerofpositivity.com/signs-post-narcissist-stress-disorder-pnsd/
https://www.powerofpositivity.com/post-narcissistic-stress-disorder-pnsd-red-flags/